Heist failure stories

[Exsanguination]

Some funny reads 

 

I’d like to play through all the heists at least once to experience them, I’m on Xbox one and am a mature player (in my 30’s) if anyone wouldn’t mind a tag along. I don’t care about the cut, it can be zero I just want to familiarize myself with them. 

 

Also would be interested in doing Cayo heist with another player. Ill host… I take the drainage tunnel entry and slip in and out, I may invite randoms tonight but I always get to the finale and say screw it im 10 mins away from an easy 1mil+ and just do it myself 

Edited March 28 by Exsanguination

[Zak Ras]

On 3/27/2022 at 9:43 PM, AirWolf359 said:

Not sharing all of them (mainly Aggressives with no armor and no Duggan Shipments, boring)

What was the average entry point out of those ones; Main Entrance, Sewer, Staff/Waste Door or something on the Roof?

[Rotorhead359]

12 hours ago, Zak Ras said:

What was the average entry point out of those ones; Main Entrance, Sewer, Staff/Waste Door or something on the Roof?

They all used Main Entrance (the most), Staff Lobby, and Waste Disposal (the least). No sewers, and no roof, because who has time to scope or prep for that, right?

The ones who use the sewers are on average more succesful because they know what they are doing.

Spoiler

The common denominator with failed Aggressives is those n00bs thinking they can do the heist with minimum scopes, minimum preps, and sometimes the cheapest gunman and hacker too.

If it's their very first heist, you usually get to see the Intel and Prep boards in the cutscene. (if they skip cutscene, at least you see the prep board at the end)

 

Aggressive approach definitely doesn't get away with minimum scope and preps, because you simply get shot to pieces. It's worse than Doomsday Act 3.

 

In theory, Silent&Sneaky can get away with minimum preps, as long as the host is willing and able to do the dots hack.

But in practice, they absolutely require the keycards, see my last post, point 2.

 

Literally the only approach that gets away with minimum scopes and preps is Bugstars, because the staircase on the way out has fingerprints instead of dots.

Only problem with Bugstars is the steep learning curve. Most people don't know how to do it undetected until someone shows them.

Bugstars is actually my favourite approach with randoms, because I feel the most useful there.

 

With Aggressive and Silent&Sneaky, my fate is decided by the preps, or lack thereof.

And Gruppe6 is just plain boring, literally impossible to fail, so they don't need me, and I don't want to waste my 1-hour quick job cooldown.

 

Edited March 29 by AirWolf359

[Hécate-II]

13 hours ago, AirWolf359 said:

Aggressive approach definitely doesn't get away with minimum scope and preps, because you simply get shot to pieces. It's worse than Doomsday Act 3.

 

Its my feeling too, I looked at FPS and in Casino it was infra 50(it should be 80 for me normally), bruh, but in 2022 its slighly better, it also depends with who you play(I mean their internet quality and where they're located), I've got some super smooth runs with friends that live in Western Europe, while with randoms from all over the planet, I got some terrible performances sometimes, crazy feeling of gravity when driving the car for example, or the rapidfire feels even faster(no way to withdraw even in first person, its just too f*cking fast). 

 

DD3 seems more stable FPS wise. I mean the final. 

Edited March 29 by Hécate-II

[Rotorhead359]

9 hours ago, Hécate-II said:

 

Its my feeling too, I looked at FPS and in Casino it was infra 50(it should be 80 for me normally), bruh, but in 2022 its slighly better, it also depends with who you play(I mean their internet quality and where they're located), I've got some super smooth runs with friends that live in Western Europe, while with randoms from all over the planet, I got some terrible performances sometimes, crazy feeling of gravity when driving the car for example, or the rapidfire feels even faster(no way to withdraw even in first person, its just too f*cking fast). 

 

DD3 seems more stable FPS wise. I mean the final. 

I just meant that DD3 allows you to one-headshot most of the supposedly overpowered enemies. No Duggan Shipments required.

And the Juggernauts are easily dealt with by an explosive sniper, Combat MG, RPG or a minigun of your own. The trick is to spot them in time.

Edited March 30 by AirWolf359

[Hécate-II]

11 minutes ago, AirWolf359 said:

 

And the Juggernauts are easily dealt with by an explosive sniper, Combat MG, RPG or a minigun of your own. The trick is to spot them in time.

 

I never use explo sniper, I just snipe in the head with thermal and regular ammo, I memorized where they're located since then.  

[Zak Ras]

This is an entertaining one, because I always thought if 3 people died on a 4-player Cayo Heist the Heist would auto-fail; not so as I just found out and it made for a completely new experience that the Contract Heister For Hire in me unironically loved. @God-eater, you intro'd me to the Amateur Night clip from Ronin, I felt like a happy version of De Niro from that scene by the end of this.

 

Longfin Main Dock Approach, Silenced FMJ Weapons, No Disruptions, No Cutting Torch (= Alarms will happen & cannot use Drainage Tunnel), not even any outside of Compound Secondary Targets scoped.
 

Spoiler

We pull up to the shore just outside the Main Dock, cool since if we were to pull in fully we'd be caught instantly by the guards that Rockstar should not have put there as enemies, as well as a few that drive through that area as enemies. We get out on foot, and it turns out this host's plan was to hoof it off-road all the way to the Compound. I'm thinking; fair, would prefer Cutting Torch but I've experience of trying to get Randoms to dive underwater and I myself hoofed it across the island off-road when I first did Cayo. Even managed for the whole team to leave guards alone and go around their vision cones. I did clean-up for one guy in a Winky who just detected us before he hit the alarm. We get to the main gate and I take out the front guard who drops the keycode, the camera, then the two guards behind the hut. Excellent, and the other 3 follow me to the door, completely disregarding the Main Gate.

 

Inside, I figure I'll let the host go for the Primary since it's his Heist, but we'll need the second Keycard which means surgically taking out the guards. Instict takes over and I go for El Rubio's office, not a bad idea since they found the keycard on the first guy they killed, so I kept going along the route I take anytime I'm doing it on my own to get the second one. A body was seen on a camera.

 

Well that was it, I had to go for the Primary now. In the process of hacking and getting out the vault, one guy got killed. I make a break for the West Keycode Door so we're right next to the ocean for a quick escape. That's when I notice the other two are hanging around the Main Gate, but they're not there, which means they're underground, having got the keys and trying to hack in through the underground door. One of them dies and it's just the guy hacking left. Something in me makes me move over to where the Brioso is parked, then the last guy dies and it's just me with the Primary & Office Safe in my bag and no Secondary's having lost about 700k's worth thanks to the other 3 getting killed.

 

Now remember I thought the moment they died, that was it; Mission Failed, yet mentally I go; "Right, everyone's dead, I'm off", I run two feet north to hit the Main Gate as my exit - and the mission keeps going. Let me tell you, that cutscene of leaving via the Main Gate hits so differently when you're the last guy alive having had no faith in the rest of the team in the first place. I take out the approaching Winky, floor it south into the ocean, deep dive with 20 Rebreathers to avoid getting shot by 50.Cal Dinghies and the Choppers - and I made it.

 

I escaped a poorly prepped & ultimately "failed" Heist with a $152k take - I can't argue with that given that a failed Heist usually results in a $0 take.

[Valiant ENT CEO]

Worst experience I think I've ever had during Prison Break right here... The host seemed like some ghetto trash baby.

 

We leave the office in my Emerus, I am tasked with the role of prison officer and the host is prisoner. We are tearing thru the streets when maybe 10 seconds later the f*cker jumps out the car at 120 mph and starts to scream "Eh Eh whoever is going to the bus PICK ME UP" So I just watch in amazement as he steals a Bati off the street. And takes the hills north.. 

 

I, myself, reach the bus and begin to watch the real game. The mini map of gta online. Then somehow, just somehow the mission failed screen pops up saying the prisoner f*cked up. He went to the demo team or something. But then he starts to call us stupid for going next to "The thing" 

 

Now we are creeping up to the prison on the first retry... Host begins to exclaim WAIT WAIT WAIT for the demo team to arrive with the helicopter! Wtf? I pull off the road for 5 seconds just to process the stupidity. A couple minutes later the Velum gets destroyed. Then a few minutes later the demo guy dies doing god knows what...Then the pilot kills himself again. We all quit. 

 

GTA Online is the real pandemic and should be shut down...

 

Change my mind.

[Sam2150AD]

16 hours ago, Valiant ENT CEO said:

The host seemed like some ghetto trash baby.

I'm sorry could you please elaborate in very fine, great detail what a 'ghetto trash baby' is/looks like? 

Just for you know, reasons and so I know what to look out for and avoid in the future! 

[Hécate-II]

Level 153 randumb host still can't climb the Police HQ to reach the chopper without dying, proceeds to leave when he dies...I was doing that for 15% on crappy money loot. At least he wasn't in godmode and didn't owned Paleto Arcade tho.  

[Sam2150AD]

On 4/30/2022 at 11:38 AM, Hécate-II said:

Level 153 randumb host still can't climb the Police HQ to reach the chopper without dying, proceeds to leave when he dies...I was doing that for 15% on crappy money loot. At least he wasn't in godmode and didn't owned Paleto Arcade tho.  

Whoah! 

.....I own the Paleto Arcade! We players that own that arcade are a proud people and we will not be victimised by this!

On the other hand though, it is a complete ballache and if I'd realised at the time it was the worst one, I wouldn't have bought it. 

[Rotorhead359]

3 hours ago, Sam2150AD said:

 if I'd realised at the time it was the worst one, I wouldn't have bought it. 

Let me refer you to this post: https://gtaforums.com/topic/982339-unwritten-rules-of-gta-online/?do=findComment&comment=1071850824

It was obvious from the beginning, with the Paleto Arcade being the furthest away from the Casino and the cheapest (even free for some players)

Edited May 5 by AirWolf359

[Nerfgoth]

13 minutes ago, AirWolf359 said:

Let me refer you to this post: https://gtaforums.com/topic/982339-unwritten-rules-of-gta-online/?do=findComment&comment=1071850824

It was obvious from the beginning, with the Paleto Arcade being the furthest away from the Casino and the cheapest (even free for some players)

 

I don´t mind the arcade in Paletto but the preps are so tidies because all of them are basically in Los Santos....

[Rotorhead359]

58 minutes ago, Nerfgoth said:

 

I don´t mind the arcade in Paletto but the preps are so tidies because all of them are basically in Los Santos....

During the preps, that is only the host's problem, I don't care.

However, for the finales, it's just plain annoying having to endure the long drive, only for the mission to fail. I prefer my heist failures with as little time on the clock as possible.

[Nerfgoth]

10 minutes ago, AirWolf359 said:

During the preps, that is only the host's problem, I don't care.

However, for the finales, it's just plain annoying having to endure the long drive, only for the mission to fail. I prefer my heist failures with as little time on the clock as possible.

 

That I don´t mind IF a friend have it... But randoms no....

[Rammer2k]

Got a few dandies, one of them I was the cause of sadly.

 

Series A -Weed.  Got there well ahead of everyone using Vigilante.  Even cleared the place before the first person showed. Upon arrival what do they do, but jump head on with a train, and blow up. 

 

Prison Break Finale.  Finally made it to the beach part, and the knob pilot somehow causes the buzzard to get stuck between rock, making it sputter out.  Fail.

 

Pac Standard.  Finally got to the dingy after a few tries.  Usually once everyone is in the boat and going, you're fairly safe.  For some reason I got shredded by the cops.  Went from full armor/health to dead in a micro second. 

[Rotorhead359]

From a Diamond Casino guard's diary:
 

Quote

 

Today we were supposed to get a chip delivery from 3 Gruppe6 employees.

Took a bit longer than usual, and when we went to relieve the guy at the vault (the one with double laxative in his coffee) we found that the gold was gone.

Meanwhile, in the security room upstairs, 3 people in Noose uniforms show up. One of them opens the daily cash storage right in front of me and another walks in and starts grabbing cash.

Stupid, stupid thieves. I shoot him right away. The third "Noose" shakes his head, facepalms and disappears into thin air.

I'm taking the afternoon off to visit our valet Felipe in the hospital. I hope this will cheer him up.

Edited June 17 by AirWolf359

[PaeganLoveSong]

Major thanks to the random whose Casino heist I joined that chose the pistol/hammer loadout, couldn't hack the elevator, couldn't drill, and quit just as we were about to leave the vault. 

[motomami]

It's always the worst when someone dies jumping out of the plane at the very end of Prison Break. But I think my actual worst heist fail story was doing Pac Standard with randoms and after several fails with everyone dying at least once except for me. We finally got to the boat part and the driver swerves right onto land as soon as he starts the engine getting the boat stuck. Then one of the other idiots' brilliant idea to try to get it unstuck is to shoot the boat which obviously destroys it causing a fail. Of course they all quit after that. 

[HopalongCasidy]

I joined a friend via direct invite, landed in Prison Break 4th setup, with mansion and city hall teams.  2 randoms, but I give it a chance. Complete that first try, we load into the same lobby and wind up all back in the apartment.  All go to prep room, all immediately join, and all ready up.  This is going too well, right?

 

I am pilot, which I actually enjoy.  Driving to the hangar, hit the jump, slightly angle the landing and wham! Invisible wall.  Remember the side entrance, try to take off and explode.  Eff this game.

[Rammer2k]

5 hours ago, HopalongCasidy said:

I joined a friend via direct invite, landed in Prison Break 4th setup, with mansion and city hall teams.  2 randoms, but I give it a chance. Complete that first try, we load into the same lobby and wind up all back in the apartment.  All go to prep room, all immediately join, and all ready up.  This is going too well, right?

 

I am pilot, which I actually enjoy.  Driving to the hangar, hit the jump, slightly angle the landing and wham! Invisible wall.  Remember the side entrance, try to take off and explode.  Eff this game.

I've  been getting that bug often as well.  You're pretty much screwed too so I just blow up the plane right away, and hope everyone restarts.

[Nutduster]

File these under not failures, but needlessly difficult successes:

 

Last night I was doing heists with my usual group of friends, and as we all have a lot of money and have done all the heists many times over, we are as interested in having variant experiences as actually succeeding, nowadays. The previous week we did four perfect heists in a row, including two elite aggressives for the casino. So THIS week, we started doing the opposite.

 

First was a casino, Big Con. We got out of the casino and then stole the nearby helicopter. We flew to the peak of Mt. Chilliad, losing our wanted level in the process. Then apparently out of boredom, we started joking about parachuting down to the beach to finish. Before any real plan had formed, a couple of us jumped out. Then as the helicopter landed, the guys already on the ground started shooting at it, resulting in a 1-star for them. So those guys had to get back in the helicopter and fly around a little to lose the wanted level. But as soon as it disappeared, one guy started shooting at the cops from his side seat in the heli, then tried to parachute down to the ground from a height of maybe 30 feet Needless to say, he wasn't even able to open his chute, but if he had, the swarm of cops was definitely going to murder him. Had to quick restart, but we were all too busy laughing to even be mad.

 

Second was an island that should have been easy. Uniforms and lots of drugs at the airfield, so we started there. But half a dozen quick restarts later, we figured out that the game was glitching: it was acting like we weren't wearing uniforms, because every time we got near a jeep, it would try to steer into us, the guard would start shouting, and the alarm would go off. We weren't interested in trying to cross the entire island stealth-style, so after a few of these incidents we just drove like madmen to the compound. Unfortunately, I had done zero disruption preps, so the guards and helicopters were chewing us to pieces; I was the only one to reach the compound alive. Just barely got inside and we quick restarted from there, losing a good amount of our secondary loot in the process.

 

At that point we should have just quit and saved the heist for later, but no, we decided to press on. I don't know who here has ever stormed the compound aggressively with no disruptions, but it was the hardest thing I've tried to do in the game--really puts Doomsday to shame. Anytime we were in the open in front of a guard, we were killed almost instantly. We were all just beelining for the office, but most of the time only one or two of us would reach it, no matter what path we took. After at least ten attempts, we got lucky and three of us made it. We got the main (the pink diamond) and started plotting an escape. One guy poked his head out downstairs trying to get gate keys that had been dropped, and died. A second guy managed to get them, and then we went to unlock the gate right in front of the main door. As we were doing so, the minigun guard ambled into view just on the other side, waited for us to unlock the door, and then blasted the guy in front to pieces. I was last one alive with just a sliver of health, and ran back to the safety of the office stairs.

 

Out of options and teammates, with everyone ready to just quit the heist and go to bed, I snacked and armored up, checked my minimap, and ran to the other nearby gate since the minigun wasn't camping it. Then I sprinted to the side door we had entered through, just barely killing one more guard on the way. Got outside, booked it for the ocean, and swam away. We ultimately quick restarted at least 15 total times and only made 300K apiece, but a good time was had by all!

Edited June 22 by Nutduster

[Rotorhead359]

Casino heist Aggressive. Normally I avoid these and go for S&S or Bugstars (I avoid G6 because boring), but due to getting kicked from everything else, and technical issues (joining casino heist on call is kinda broken), I said F it and joined it anyway.

We never even made it downstairs, because even though we had the automatic shotgun (the good one), we didn't have armor, and the guards still had their helmets.

Took the host 20 restarts to realize it wasn't going to work. Even worse, it was on hard difficulty (that means not his first time), so he should have known better.

Edited June 30 by AirWolf359

[Zak Ras]

When it's Pacific Standard - Vans and the navigator host demands everyone play the way Rockstar intended.

 

 

This didn't happen - but it was the first thing that came to mind when I saw this.

[Rotorhead359]

There is no achievement for completing the Diamond Casino heist with locked first person camera. Such an achievement only exists for the OG (apartment) heists.

Cliffford recommends leaving camera lock disabled and let players choose their own camera settings.

 

The heist in question was a Gruppe6 with 3 people, Artwork, all preps done. We got all the loot and almost all deposit boxes (swiping keycards in FPS mode is annoying btw, because you can't see each other)

And then there was a trolley in our way to the laundry room, and the guards were bugged (not patrolling but stuck in place) and it took some restarts to get out.

 

Now I admit, I was the first one to set off the alarm (guess I knocked out the wrong guard, but no I didn't shoot him), but that doesn't mean I'm a noob.

I don't need elitist attitude from the host, and I also don't care that they outrank my alt. (granted, maybe my alt looks like a noob)

This host also made some questionable choices (took the daily vault, but didn't get the exit disguise from the laundry room even though it was there)

 

We took the waste disposal (host insisted on that) and crossed the freeway on foot, all the while getting shot by cops, and, with the camera being locked, not being able to look around while doing so. It ended there. Especialy when mr. Elitist decided to switch from a 4 door to a 2 door car, leaving a player behind. Just because you can play GTA Online in first person mode, doesn't mean your crew can too.

Edited July 1 by AirWolf359

[DrEeveell]

Not a failure, but we were doing Silent & Sneaky Casino tonight. Actually got in and out clean, best run yet of the half dozen times I've done it. My partner had a little hacking problem in the vault so we didn't get all the money, but we had picked up the daily vault.

Anyway, once we got outside the flingin' flangin' get away cars were parked up north of the race track so we skipped that and headed for the river to borrow a car. A couple of police men very kindly volunteered their vehicle so we were cruising through the storm drain and I got a little over ambitious and the car rolled onto its roof. For some reason I couldn't just use the stick to right it, so we had to get out and hoof it from about halfway to the freeway. Of course the wanted level went away by the time we got to the other end. But when trying to find another ride we managed to pick up a 3-star wanted again. We almost had the elite challenge. Well, except that it took 38 minutes with all the running around on foot and stuff.

[JoeVK78]

I haven't done any heists in a long time. Back during the 2020 shutdown, I ended up doing a casino heist or two with some randoms. We ended up becoming friends while grinding out casino heist after casino heist to bulk up our bank accounts for Cayo Perico. We'd all do our own preps, then do the heists together one after the other. I started off with less than a million, and ended up with roughly 50 million by the time Cayo dropped.
My internet, and the internet of one of my friend's did NOT get along. We constantly got detected by dead/unconscious guards, and the wanted level rarely ever went away unless we either all drove separately to the buyer, or all bailed from the chopper when we got near the buyer. If you took myself or that friend out of the heist, and it was smooth sailing. There was never a dull moment (we got sidetracked goofing off or bullying each other a LOT), and we got really good at speed running casino heists. When Cayo dropped, not much changed except that we were total noobs at Cayo, which made for a ton of laughter from all of us. But now, 2 friends have quit playing, and myself and the one friend that still plays are back working, so we don't get to play much. He's gotten more into PVP, so when we're both on, I usually act as griefer bait to find him someone to fight, because I absolutely SUCK at PVP. That or we just greif each other. Like earlier today, I was trying to just drive around, and he kept yeeting me in the air with his ZR380, so I blew us both up with stickies, lol.

[awesomefoot]

Heist Attempt 1: Everyone goes upstairs because that's the way to the vault. We finally get in and I hack two doors open (just thumbprints) while someone else just fails repeatedly. When there's 30 seconds they give up. I go to hack but someone else takes it before I can and wastes the rest of the time. We get out and I'm 3rd to protect the guy taking up the rear. We get lucky with close cars and my driver loses them but the others end up dying in Sandy Shores or something. I try to vote to restart but it won't let me. I finally hit the continue button and it's Heist Failed.

 

Heist Attempt 2: Everyone goes upstairs because that's still the way to the vault. We end up dying twice and one guy quits.

 

Heist Attempt 3: I give the other guy 70% cut and he won't start so it's back to the planning room.

 

Heist Attempt 4: I start with no minimap, weapon wheel, phone. One guy starts way out in Paleto. When we go to enter it's an endless black screen.

 

edit: Also I can't load the Casino Heist from an Invite Only lobby anymore, nobody joins. It worked fine for years.

Edited July 18 by awesomefoot

[Rotorhead359]

On 7/18/2022 at 6:46 AM, awesomefoot said:

Also I can't load the Casino Heist from an Invite Only lobby anymore, nobody joins. It worked fine for years.

Yes, it seems most of my Casino heist failures nowadays come from issues with the mission itself, instead of bad prep work or outfit selection on Aggressive.

I did get one of those wrong outfit hosts today though. I was telling him to pick the reinforced (which he had) but apparently he didn't speak english.

Of course, he didn't do Duggans so we got pwned and lost badly.

 

And now I finally get into a Bugstars, and the guards are stuck.

Edited July 24 by Rotorhead359

[ambi3nt]

Yeah they have introduced some extra bugs to DCH. If you get kicked or leave lobby yourself before host start, you can often end up in a long or even permanent soft lock. Even if you are in invite only session. Getting stuck when host starts was becoming a norm, but now this. Lately they've started putting DCH into dailies a lot, this is becoming my least favourite one.