Heist failure stories

[Hécate-II]

I've redone my own Pacstand setups and I joined a lot of Hacks setups and tried to get in a decent team, I won't tell all the fails. Just some:

 

(10-12 different teams, the last was good and we completed Elite, half-GPS version, the easier)

 

A Postvan setup:

We were all ranging between 150-500 and we still f*cking failed it, lvl 500 and 150 wanted to be naviguators, ok np. They just kept failing over and over, I left after 5 attempts xd

 

A Bike setup:

They kept failing(+5times) til they finally accepted that I solo the killing  at the MC clubhouse and followed me with their lectros, blazed everything with potato launcher. Those armors in the right corner...do they even wonder what is that? Maybe try to get them and help yourself? Ofc idiotic host told me something like "u caRe tOo mUch aBoUt cLotHing"

 

A final with a cheater:

Years ago I would have been friendly probably, even asking him/her to spawn me Savage for the final, because why not. 

They kept dying but the cheater and me, he definitely had godmode enabled. When we finally reached the bike, I took one and blown up the 3 remaining ones, messed because I didn't wanted to get in his/her noob cheated pink kuruma./// ffs I'm not gonna use cheated stuff

 

+5 fails til I left. so bored, saw lvl 14 going again full rambo vs NOOSE(because they triggered NOOSE, ofc),  I could tell this cheater was clueless about how to play this game, they use the pretext "it speeds up things " and stuff. Nah, you're definetly bad at blowing up a couple of npcs and running with inventory opened. Thus using a cheat noob modmenu.

 

[concolt]

Ugh I’ve been trying for years to complete the elite challenges and Criminal Masterminds for the OG heists.  I just can’t seem to get a component team together.  My friends don’t care about it enough to make it all the way through.  I join ransoms to see if I can find any worthy partners and nope.  They either can’t hack or can’t drive a bike in Pac Standard.

[demoralize13]

Prison break.

 

I was officer.

I was driving through bus before demolition team, so i though i help him and take off bus driver on the way. Took him off and "cops was alerted". Strange is that if demolition take him off they are not alerted

[God-eater]

Well, there's another 3 hours spent standing around the Diamond car park. In that time, I got into 4 heists, every one of them a total failure. 

 

1 - Big Con, P&W entry, no preps done. Didn't get past the first door.

2 - Big Con, Gruppe 6 entry, random triggers the alarm in the vault, no preps done, guards slaughter us.

3 - Big Con, Gruppe 6 entry, on the way out, rank 32 host punches guard right in front of the camera, dies then ragequits.

4 - S&S, rank 308 driver parks the car at the main entrance in front of the valet, alarm triggered, rank 308 rushes valet, valet backpedals thru casino doors & wastes rank 308 with a pistol. 

 

Three. f*cking. Hours. 

 

Worst part is there was less than 30 mins actual gameplay - the other 2.5 hours was spent standing around getting kicked, hosts quitting the board & network errors.

 

Yeah, f*ck GTA. Goddamn miserable experience.

[partci]

@God-eater I've pretty much gave up on CH - maybe if I see a pop up invite, but it is a HELL to join one.

 

I had a familiar day yesterday, where I could not join a competent crew to finish a heist if the life depended on them.

 

But you know what? Today I picked up two (!!!) different groups of folks, the first one with under R100 noobs that they were listening and we got through one PacSt finale and we finished mine after, and then I started Humane Labs and finished this one with entirely different crew, where one of the guys was as competent as one could be in those heists, the other one was a really good player and the last person was always different, but was always competent enough. Friends now with the first two, let's see if they like to play those OG heist as I do.

 

Once in a blue moon there's a light at the end of the tunnel...

 

The screenshot is from the noobs fiesta:

[partci]

Back on track again!

 

Joined a CH invitation. S&S. Mr. Host assigned all four of us (you know it will be a complete disaster when Mr. Host waits for four persons in CH) 25 huge percents. Some bloke that asked for 20% was extremely happy. I'm like "Yaay - you'll most likely see exactly ZERO out of those 25%, dude!"

 

So we start.

 

At Paleto.

 

I guess Mr. Host took direct RIGHT turn on the highway while I was reading the news. When I took my eyes out of them to check my monitor and saw we are going for Chumash, a lonely tear rolled from the corner of my eye. Then someone did a GPS and Mr. Host decided he will turn the car around so we go through Sandy Shores.

 

I changed sessions and got back to the news.

 

Fluck this schite.

[Hécate-II]

The Greatest Failure Never Told

 Juampimas Saga

 

 

 

Casino Agressive - Money Loot - Armors - Ok Arcade

 

So I turned another time into a Tutorial NPC, this time I had to recall my courses of spanish from +15 years ago. Because Host was mono spanish. It was more like spranglish, but recalled a couple of useful stuffs like "Cambiar la p**a de fu*** salida" woah he really understood it, no conjugaison needed, he changed the exit to something else than front of casino. Host had armor setup done though, it must be said, Duggan partially done, not bad for a low level host. I really wanted to help him after having contracted a karmic debt to my own crewmates. I was looking for something particulary challenging, and be once again that player who manages to save the heist from an ineluctable FSoD*. I'd no idea I already stepped in the moment I hesitated to spam escape button. 

 

 

 

* acronym standing for Failing Spiral of Death

 

For the sake of understanding, our main protagonist, Juam, was a random filler, who had the specific trait to be ultra laggy, but something you never saw before, I could see him running and jumping like if he was in slow motion, incredible, it took like 5 minutes to walk 50 meters in game. 

Whatever we managed to get the poor loot(1mio), after a fastidious door opening. Also no passes, they had to use thermal charges to open secondary doors... 

 

 

 

"NO PUEDO", host trying to hack while we already had the stairs opened with thermal, took 5 minutes to fail the hack, meanwhile Juam had started an odyseum: walking on 2 levels. 

 

At this point I just spam kills new nugget NPC that spawn over and over while trying to figure out which language Juam talks, and which words I should use for "stairs" in spanish. 

 

No screen: we reach the f*cking doors, Juam then entered a phase of deep braindeadness, drinking his e-cola in a corner, managed to make him move on the yellow marker by throwing molotov at him. 

 

Almost done, but...then we got a black screen when exiting the Casino, so my teammates died and I couldn't blame them for that, NOOSE can hit you while you're in the black screen...sigh. 

 

 

We restart; host leaves. The End. 

[PoppaMagnum]

Anybody having trouble parachuting off the cliff in the pac standard finale lately? Seems like half the time recently, my character spins uncontrollably after jumping off the bike, then when i finally open the parachute, i crash into the mountain. I hate being the guy that fails my team at the very end

[Hécate-II]

On 6/27/2021 at 9:28 AM, PoppaMagnum said:

Anybody having trouble parachuting off the cliff in the pac standard finale lately? Seems like half the time recently, my character spins uncontrollably after jumping off the bike, then when i finally open the parachute, i crash into the mountain. I hate being the guy that fails my team at the very end

 

you need to boost before jumping for maximum momentum and spam buttons that perform side movements, like Q D on pc(not sure what it is on console), I jumped off much harder spots when doing Elite pacstand and you get the right position quickly this way even if the jump is not as easy as main one after the brigde. 

 

 

 

[partci]

On 6/27/2021 at 10:28 AM, PoppaMagnum said:

Anybody having trouble parachuting off the cliff in the pac standard finale lately? Seems like half the time recently, my character spins uncontrollably after jumping off the bike, then when i finally open the parachute, i crash into the mountain. I hate being the guy that fails my team at the very end

Someone's bike hit me from behind and crushed me in the mountain. Does this count?

 

Also: you can use the alternate road, the turn you see on the mapbefore the bridge, to get to the boat. Just be sure everybody else are there before you, or it will swarm with cops. Wait a bit far from it and it will be OK, though.

[Hécate-II]

On 6/27/2021 at 6:25 PM, partci said:

Someone's bike hit me from behind and crushed me in the mountain. Does this count?

 

Also: you can use the alternate road, the turn you see on the mapbefore the bridge, to get to the boat. Just be sure everybody else are there before you, or it will swarm with cops. Wait a bit far from it and it will be OK, though.

 

and you can take an even easier path that allows:

-1 to check the last checkpoint so no cops in the canyon

-2 no jump

 

Check the narrow and sinuous path right under the brigde, you will get a fake alert saying "join your team" or smth, with a 15-20 secondes timer, but just keep going. Will upload later a picture if its not clear enough. 

 

edit:

pictures

 

(well know shortcut before last marker)

Spoiler

 

(after checking last marker)

Spoiler

 

(keep going)

 

Spoiler

 

(be careful, keep going slow and keep away from that sewer thing at left , it may blow up the bike by collision)

Spoiler

 

Edited June 28, 2021 by Hécate-II

[partci]

*sighs*

 

When you get all the way to the boat with another person on your back, while the host can't stop yapping for you to "DRIVE FASTER", while you find him and the other pepega are in a shootout with the cops at said boat location, then one of them does not take his seat in time so the sequence does not trigger, therefore panic, fail and host leaves.

 

gg

[partci]

On 6/21/2021 at 7:37 AM, partci said:

So that's the new thing. Have a mod menu, constantly fail the Heist Finale and get 2 mil for every fail. What a load of... fun.

 

This guy was not screwing around:

[Hécate-II]

Can't wait for R* cleaning out all those cancer accounts and make some real anticheat, can we dream? 

 

I accepted to drive a modded Vapid Contender during a Pacstand getaway, I mean 2 or 3 finals out 10 feature skids, and you know the random can't get from point A to B in Lectro without dying...

 

I think I didn't played PacStand getaway with Contender since Las Lagunas 0604 nerf years ago.  That skid was very patient and helpful though, we tried bikes, the two others couldn't ...

He first spawned 4 depressors xd, but one still died. 

Oh yeah it was another of those heists where lvl 50 host gives 40% to his lvl 7 friend who is dumb af and can't even have the decence to listen when he gets entirely carried. 

 

Edited June 30, 2021 by Hécate-II

[Rotorhead359]

On 6/30/2021 at 1:43 PM, Hécate-II said:

Can't wait for R* cleaning out all those cancer accounts and make some real anticheat, can we dream? 

 

I accepted to drive a modded Vapid Contender during a Pacstand getaway, I mean 2 or 3 finals out 10 feature skids, and you know the random can't get from point A to B in Lectro without dying...

 

I think I didn't played PacStand getaway with Contender since Las Lagunas 0604 nerf years ago.  That skid was very patient and helpful though, we tried bikes, the two others couldn't ...

He first spawned 4 depressors xd, but one still died. 

Oh yeah it was another of those heists where lvl 50 host gives 40% to his lvl 7 friend who is dumb af and can't even have the decence to listen when he gets entirely carried. 

 

Ah yes, the Pacific Standard heist. Where do I start?

I started one as host today, so I can join them on call easier. Haven't passed a single one yet.

 

Pacific Standard is becoming a lost art. Most hosts don't know about the heavy vest anymore, or how to set player saved outfits.

And because I join them on call, I'm always the last one in, and the host launches before I can ask to change it.

 

Some hosts will set Vans on easy instead of hard "because n00bs failed it last time" Or someone will bring a missile shooting car on Convoy, well, you know what happens to the truck.

 

The most notable fail was a finale where we lost literally all the money from endlessly getting shot and restarting for a full hour.

 

I think I'll cancel my pacific standard heist, and start the prison break again to join that one on call, because pacific standard attracts only stupid players these days it seems.

At least I pass most of my prison breaks with randoms.

 

Edited June 30, 2021 by AirWolf359
wrong thread

[partci]

On 6/30/2021 at 4:28 PM, AirWolf359 said:

At least I pass most of my prison breaks with randoms.

That's weird, as the finale is WAY harder than PacSt fina... well, this may be debatable, but at least I know if the noob pepegas are listening to me, I can drive them all safe with a car to the boat. Which has happened all in all like three times so far from unknown number of finales. But try to explain to someone how to drive plane or a heli on PB...

[Hécate-II]

On 6/30/2021 at 8:37 PM, partci said:

That's weird, as the finale is WAY harder than PacSt fina... well, this may be debatable, but at least I know if the noob pepegas are listening to me, I can drive them all safe with a car to the boat. Which has happened all in all like three times so far from unknown number of finales. But try to explain to someone how to drive plane or a heli on PB...

 

In this heist the high level pilot(or demo) should always drop the good weapons to prisoner, problem is that prisoner is often an idiot and go away without caring about me explaining he will only have ap pistol inside so he better grabs the best weapons in the game I'm dropping with free ammo. 

 

Generally PB is harder because roles are very defined, you have a getaway pilot, an auxiliary with Buzzard and ground team, and everybody has to do his part, while in Pacstand one sapient player can explain everything to cheese out, if 3 other ppl listen its easy to carry the team. 

 

[Rotorhead359]

On 6/30/2021 at 8:37 PM, partci said:

That's weird, as the finale is WAY harder than PacSt fina... well, this may be debatable, but at least I know if the noob pepegas are listening to me, I can drive them all safe with a car to the boat. Which has happened all in all like three times so far from unknown number of finales. But try to explain to someone how to drive plane or a heli on PB...

Ok, I'll explain why I find prison break easier. It's exactly because the roles are more defined as @Hécate-II says.

When there's a fail on prison break, I can usually tell exactly what happened, who failed, how and why, and if the heist is a lost cause or not.

I can also tell if the heist is a lost cause before it starts, when the host won't assign the roles to something I'd agree on (and I always make sure to ask)

No dear host, your n00b friend who can't fly can not be pilot, and I won't be prisoner as I'm wasted on that position, but I'm happy to be officer and have your friend as prisoner.

 

On Pacific Standard, I can't always tell why someone died and if it was bad luck or just them being a n00b.

And the parachute jump at the end of PacStan is way more dangerous than the one on the prison break.

Also, Prison break usually doesn't last over an hour with at least 20 restarts and losing the maximum amount of money. (admittedly, I only stayed because I wanted to know who would quit first. No one listened anyway, especially the host)

Edited July 1, 2021 by AirWolf359

[Hécate-II]

On 7/1/2021 at 9:42 AM, AirWolf359 said:

Ok, I'll explain why I find prison break easier. It's exactly because the roles are more defined as @Hécate-II says.

When there's a fail on prison break, I can usually tell exactly what happened, who failed, how and why, and if the heist is a lost cause or not.

I can also tell if the heist is a lost cause before it starts, when the host won't assign the roles to something I'd agree on (and I always make sure to ask)

No dear host, your n00b friend who can't fly can not be pilot, and I won't be prisoner as I'm wasted on that position, but I'm happy to be officer and have your friend as prisoner.

 

On Pacific Standard, I can't always tell why someone died and if it was bad luck or just them being a n00b.

And the parachute jump at the end of PacStan is way more dangerous than the one on the prison break.

Also, Prison break usually doesn't last over an hour with at least 20 restarts and losing the maximum amount of money. (admittedly, I only stayed because I wanted to know who would quit first. No one listened anyway, especially the host)

 

I can tell when and where peoples will die in Pacstand, sometimes there are unknow variables, like low level taking a tree and dying on the spot because without heavy vest they die so quick when falling from bike. 

 

Generally Heavy Vest is really something that reduces a lot of essential fails, beside the jump. They don't know how to spam QD while jumping to stabilize their bodies(which then allow to open parachute) and keep the boost for before jumping...etc or maybe there is some parachute skill I don't know.

[Super Grunt 281]

Firefights and stealth sections (bonus if alarm = fail) tend to attract the highest quantity of failures.

 

For the prison, you only have 2 dudes actually fighting hostiles, me and my contact were the 2 in the prison that's not for nothing.

 

For the bank it's everyone in and it's punch through the narrow streets (randoms like the taste of the cops over there) , even if they listen you still have to cross paths with some enemies right after the exit and during the chase. Also the boat.

 

Apparently people don't use cover enough, the same who find the entire act III of the doomsday heist hard I suppose.

[Hécate-II]

On 7/1/2021 at 12:33 PM, Super Grunt 281 said:

For the prison, you only have 2 dudes actually fighting hostiles, me and my contact were the 2 in the prison that's not for nothing.

 

 

Velum pilot is alone, cheesing out the stupid Lazer, while Demo helps ground team progression when they're inside the prison, its how the heist is meant to be played, thats why you need to a good attack chopper pilot for this final that is entirely able to dogde every homing missile coming from prison, and a velum pilot that can lands absolutly anywhere, landing between poles and cars. 

 

 

 

[Super Grunt 281]

On 7/1/2021 at 1:09 PM, Hécate-II said:

 

Velum pilot is alone, cheesing out the stupid Lazer, while Demo helps ground team progression when they're inside the prison, its how the heist is meant to be played, thats why you need to a good attack chopper pilot for this final that is entirely able to dogde every homing missile coming from prison, and a velum pilot that can lands absolutly anywhere, landing between poles and cars. 

 

 

 

I can question 'the way it's meant to be played' but we didn't have air support and it was completely fine for us.

 

Really just 2 guys in a firefight, the others can just avoid the jet and do nothing else until it's time in theory.

[Hécate-II]

On 7/1/2021 at 1:52 PM, Super Grunt 281 said:

I can question 'the way it's meant to be played' but we didn't have air support and it was completely fine for us.

 

Really just 2 guys in a firefight, the others can just avoid the jet and do nothing else until it's time in theory.

 

Its about exploiting every role also and improving yourself in this given role :), the first time I played as demo I stood mostly passive waiting ground team because I feared the missiles and gradually I gained enough assurance to help them and speed up their progression. Sad this heist only pays f*cking 75k as filler, should be put 3x permanently to make it on par with Pacstand. 

[Super Grunt 281]

On 7/1/2021 at 11:34 PM, Hécate-II said:

 

Its about exploiting every role also and improving yourself in this given role :), the first time I played as demo I stood mostly passive waiting ground team because I feared the missiles and gradually I gained enough assurance to help them and speed up their progression. Sad this heist only pays f*cking 75k as filler, should be put 3x permanently to make it on par with Pacstand. 

It's still 2 guys not in a firefight, that's why I find the prison break finale easier.

 

Is the heli unable to attack from beyond the danger zone of the prison ? Missiles have a great range.

[Hécate-II]

On 7/2/2021 at 3:41 AM, Super Grunt 281 said:

 

 

Is the heli unable to attack from beyond the danger zone of the prison ? Missiles have a great range.

 

Yes its possible but maybe not on console due to rendering distances idk, even on PC I've to memorize a little bit the spawn because its hard to see NPC, thats why you need to take some risks and go closer where you can lock Swat agents on the roof and in the yard if you want to help progression. 

 

I don't find it PB really easier with low level randoms, often I'm the only one that knows the final well, if I go as officer or prisoner its a guaranted fail from air team, if I go as velum pilot they often die on the ground and I get bored after 3-4 fails xd

Edited July 2, 2021 by Hécate-II

[Hécate-II]

One friend, one random, +15 fails, I wanted to practice with Sentinel Classic, we finally managed to reach the cars after extremely penible restart between the Staff exit and the Sentinel spawn(bad one but eh it feels more like HEAT xd), I could finally play the getaway I wanted, full take of gold, I did well and improved, but random died like 5 meters before the yellow marker near the Saw Mills drop off. The curse on this heist was too strong. Its the only explanation i see possible. 

 

 

no we're not restarting again, thanks you

 

 

Edited July 3, 2021 by Hécate-II

[PoppaMagnum]

On 7/1/2021 at 6:05 AM, Hécate-II said:

 

I can tell when and where peoples will die in Pacstand, sometimes there are unknow variables, like low level taking a tree and dying on the spot because without heavy vest they die so quick when falling from bike. 

 

Generally Heavy Vest is really something that reduces a lot of essential fails, beside the jump. They don't know how to spam QD while jumping to stabilize their bodies(which then allow to open parachute) and keep the boost for before jumping...etc or maybe there is some parachute skill I don't know.

The heavy vest is such a blessing, any time i fall off the bike and am surrounded by cops, i just calmly walk back to the bike while eating a hail of bullets knowing i'm protected. Same scenario without the vest, i'm likely done for with a couple of bullets. If a host has it set to "leader selected outfits" they probably will ignore a request to change to player saved, they need their fancy suits with pogo monkey masks outfits.

[Hécate-II]

On 7/3/2021 at 11:03 AM, PoppaMagnum said:

Same scenario without the vest, i'm likely done for with a couple of bullets.

 

Yes its great, during Humane labs for example:

-I get the weakest player as gunner in my Valkyrie(did it with a lvl 5 brazilian not understanding english once, days ago with a low level chinese, he could still understand "altitude = focus on choppers)

-get the two others as ground team with heavy vest on(Crew Outfits, which aren't featured in Pacstand, R* prob wanted stupid randoms to pick stupid outfits so they would keep dying and failing, thus ending buying sharkards

And its piss easy to get the job done with this organization. Its probably the easiest final to play imo, the only problem with Humane Labs it doesn't make good bucks and Deliver EMP is cancer.

[DuhBritishTea]

> Aggressive

> main entrance 

> no Duggan shipments

> no reinforced armor

> rank 530 (probably modded account) host who doesn't do anything

 

Good luck with that one man.

 

The only reason you pick main is to get 80 headshots for elite. And not doing shipments should be illegal on aggressive.

Edited July 4, 2021 by DuhBritishTea

[Super Grunt 281]

It reminds me of either silent and sneaky or big con hosted by a contact, I don't remember well which one it is.

 

Cheap crew all the way and level 1 keycard (the minimum basically) , it was impossible to complete the dot hack so was the heist.

 

Honestly even with that, I don't think guards could be defeated when you actually need to push... nobody had the god tier brain required to complete the dot hack.

 

Maybe I said that already.