Heist failure stories

[God-eater]

Well, I finally had a Casino run fail in a way that I'd never seen before, or even expected. Of course, the host was one of those TTV f*ckheads, so my expectation going in was "when" we would fail, as opposed to "if".

 

So it's a 4-man Artwork, Gruppe 6 entry, Noose out. We arrive & I see that while Duggan prep has been skipped, Security Passes has not, so it's looking as good as possible.

 

Hit the vault, some lowbie decides to spend over 2 minutes on one hack, blocking us from collecting one painting, but we all get out before the timer. So far, so bueno, right?

 

Up the stairs, whack a couple of guards (Mr Rookie charges one with no weapon equipped, but fortunately I got there in time to save us from his idiocy), into the laundry room, three of us get changed, Mr Rookie needs to be grabbed by the ear and dragged to his Noose outfit, but we get out of the Staff Door (after another guy runs to the Main Entrance, but comes back after he realises he's the only one there).

 

Outside, we run clean, getaway cars are Hellfires and parked in the Lost clubhouse. I get in the driver's seat, Mr Rookie comes with me, Mr Main Entrance jumps into the other one. Still not detected, so this run is pretty much in the bag, right?

 

Wrong! You forgot about TTV Guy, didn't you? And the fact that they are the masters of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

 

As I burn off with Mr Rookie, I see that TTVtard is standing next to the other Hellfire pointing his gun at Mr Main Entrance. Obviously, he wants to drive. I leave them to work it out & head for the sewer tunnel (yeah, I know, but I have a rank 22 in the car with me who needed to be shown how to change outfits, so I'm not banking on his ability to climb to the chopper). 

 

We'd just crossed the sewer tunnel entrance when the screen flashes and the failure screen comes up. The host quit.

 

Because he couldn't drive. 

 

Oh my stars and f*cking garters, is there any level of childish idiocy to which these TTV f*ckwads cannot sink? Burned a near-perfect run because he'd rather throw a tantrum...

 

You understand why I had to come here to vent that sh*t out of my system.

 

Now that I'm calm and serene again, and can carefully consider my words, I would like each of us to go door-to-door in our respective cities, locate and identify every last player with a TTV tag and then beat them to death on the spot. It will be messy, time-consuming and many of us will go to prison, but that is a small price to pay for ridding humanity of these utter cockwombles. Future generations will thank us for our sacrifice.

[partci]

What can possibly go wrong...

[Rotorhead359]

4 hours ago, God-eater said:

Well, I finally had a Casino run fail in a way that I'd never seen before, or even expected. Of course, the host was one of those TTV f*ckheads, so my expectation going in was "when" we would fail, as opposed to "if".

 

So it's a 4-man Artwork, Gruppe 6 entry, Noose out. We arrive & I see that while Duggan prep has been skipped, Security Passes has not, so it's looking as good as possible.

 

Hit the vault, some lowbie decides to spend over 2 minutes on one hack, blocking us from collecting one painting, but we all get out before the timer. So far, so bueno, right?

 

Up the stairs, whack a couple of guards (Mr Rookie charges one with no weapon equipped, but fortunately I got there in time to save us from his idiocy), into the laundry room, three of us get changed, Mr Rookie needs to be grabbed by the ear and dragged to his Noose outfit, but we get out of the Staff Door (after another guy runs to the Main Entrance, but comes back after he realises he's the only one there).

 

Outside, we run clean, getaway cars are Hellfires and parked in the Lost clubhouse. I get in the driver's seat, Mr Rookie comes with me, Mr Main Entrance jumps into the other one. Still not detected, so this run is pretty much in the bag, right?

 

Wrong! You forgot about TTV Guy, didn't you? And the fact that they are the masters of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

 

As I burn off with Mr Rookie, I see that TTVtard is standing next to the other Hellfire pointing his gun at Mr Main Entrance. Obviously, he wants to drive. I leave them to work it out & head for the sewer tunnel (yeah, I know, but I have a rank 22 in the car with me who needed to be shown how to change outfits, so I'm not banking on his ability to climb to the chopper). 

 

We'd just crossed the sewer tunnel entrance when the screen flashes and the failure screen comes up. The host quit.

 

Because he couldn't drive. 

 

Oh my stars and f*cking garters, is there any level of childish idiocy to which these TTV f*ckwads cannot sink? Burned a near-perfect run because he'd rather throw a tantrum...

 

You understand why I had to come here to vent that sh*t out of my system.

 

Now that I'm calm and serene again, and can carefully consider my words, I would like each of us to go door-to-door in our respective cities, locate and identify every last player with a TTV tag and then beat them to death on the spot. It will be messy, time-consuming and many of us will go to prison, but that is a small price to pay for ridding humanity of these utter cockwombles. Future generations will thank us for our sacrifice.

I guess he wanted to stream an epic cop chase on TwitchTV

 

1 hour ago, partci said:

What can possibly go wrong...

At least the host had set it on player saved outfits. If they don't, the heist ends right there for me. I'll give level 1 a chance.

Edited June 13, 2021 by AirWolf359

[God-eater]

@AirWolf359 I wouldn't credit a TTVtard (loving that term, gonna make it a thing) with that kind of forward planning. I imagine they are surprised to see feet every time they take off their socks.

 

I've got another one, too. Well, technically not a failed heist, more of a failed host. So it's a S&S, I'm in the starting screen, host msgs "can u hack?". I come back with "Yes. Can you?". Host replies in the affirmative, but I'm pretty sure he's missed my subtle wordplay. Host boots the other 2 randoms and launches. 

 

It's Artwork, host gives me 15%. I'm already excited because I know what's coming. 

 

We hit the vault, I pull down paintings and run thru doors as the host hacks them. I'm starting to worry that I won't get to pull my awesome line, but the host finally falters and runs for a painting instead of doing the last two doors to the last painting. As a  result, we must leave one painting behind.

 

We get out of the vault, host msgs "why didn't you hack?".

 

Me: "I said I could. Never said I would. Minimum cut, minimum effort"

 

To his credit he took it relatively well. We finished the heist; hopefully that $400K lesson will come back to him next time, and perhaps he'll go looking for a partner rather than an employee.

Edited June 13, 2021 by God-eater

[Hécate-II]

17 hours ago, AirWolf359 said:

Lol. That looks about right.

 

Has anyone played the Prison Break recently? For the last week, the bug with Rashkovsky not moving happened every single time.

 

For us it worked, I wasn't even aware it was bugged, the habit to refuse to this heist with randoms lol, genuinely didn't played this heist since my last CMM 3 years ago. 

 

Quote

Does this work for sure? Because we have tried other possible combinations and it did not work.

MarSk1:

Gabytza_love:

I have the same problem !!!

Make the host the prisoner 

 

 

Our host was indeed prisoner I guess he knew about this bug. Avi in PacStand setup was a bit bugged because host had landed the boat improperly on land, but we still did it, he finally moved out the boat. 

https://support.rockstargames.com/community/200063373/360004157008

 

For final

Me: we do it clean with bikes, safe route no cops in canyon.

Host: we do it faster(aka cops in canyon, triggered also around, so it become a Hell not to lose money, they're just too many cops that spawn over and over around the brigde and wait you at the Dinghy)

 

PacStand alley gun fight went smoothly and we could really had made it 100% if host had listened...yeah we still did it, 12Mio, but he made me pass for a monkey that lose 150k in PacStand getaway because he couldn't f*cking accept to follow me 

 

Edited June 13, 2021 by Hécate-II

[PoppaMagnum]

On 6/11/2021 at 11:59 PM, God-eater said:

Ah, I love rookies who are quick to throw shade because they have no idea what you're doing or why.

 

Case in point: Pac Standard - Signal. I pass the first set of Seasharks and head down the freeway to Raton Canyon. Host msgs me: "tf you doin", which I interpreted as him questioning my actions and being unaware of the second set of Seasharks. As I get to the Seasharks, host quits & msgs "if your not gonna play don't join my sh*t". I basked in that for a few moments while deciding whether to educate him or let his rude ass wallow in ignorance. Opted for the former, response was "". Still not completely sure what he was trying to communicate.

 

Here's another one: DCH, Bugstars. I go the back way, everyone else goes to Baker's office. I get downstairs and am waiting at the mantrap door when the host msgs me "where are u?". I tell them I'm waiting for them downstairs. Host quits. Now, they could've just timed out while messaging, but it could just as well been the host genuinely not understanding what I've done & thinking I'm sabotaging the heist. 

 

Randoms give me a crick in my neck from all the head-shaking.

It amazes me that more people don't use the helicopter on top of the police station for this set up. Half the time, randumbs don't even get in the helicopter after picking up Avi. Had a recent host rage quit when he saw me using a helicopter and called me a "hack cheater."

[partci]

57 minutes ago, PoppaMagnum said:

It amazes me that more people don't use the helicopter on top of the police station for this set up. Half the time, randumbs don't even get in the helicopter after picking up Avi. Had a recent host rage quit when he saw me using a helicopter and called me a "hack cheater."

This is the mission that I perhaps loath the most. Trying to avoid it at all cost. Also, if something happens like someone dies and we lose the chopper - I just quit. I can deal with get to the island first and kill all the NPCs, but someone screwing around or writing stupid stuff in chat or passing me by with the boat when I am waiting right there with the heli to pick them up - I can't handle. Last week I did the mistake to get off the heli for some reason (kill a police chopper) and another player decided to fly our chopper. The absolute, utter MORON nose dived it in the corona to fail the mission, while I was reading news or whatever on my other monitor. I just shut the game down. FN hell.

[Hécate-II]

3 hours ago, partci said:

This is the mission that I perhaps loath the most. Trying to avoid it at all cost. Also, if something happens like someone dies and we lose the chopper - I just quit. I can deal with get to the island first and kill all the NPCs, but someone screwing around or writing stupid stuff in chat or passing me by with the boat when I am waiting right there with the heli to pick them up - I can't handle. Last week I did the mistake to get off the heli for some reason (kill a police chopper) and another player decided to fly our chopper. The absolute, utter MORON nose dived it in the corona to fail the mission, while I was reading news or whatever on my other monitor. I just shut the game down. FN hell.

 

 

I memorized the exact point that triggers the next wanted lvl, its very easy to escape cops while circling at the end of the lake, you get a police chopper to dogde and sometimes a boat(if you haven't killed it before). 

 

Recently we got chopper from hospital ok, then we headed to island, killed FIB agents, and then Avi needed us to get on Seasharks to trigger his spawn in this little cabin it was empty, I didn't recall it worked like that before. 

 

 

Edited June 14, 2021 by Hécate-II

[partci]

8 minutes ago, Hécate-II said:

Recently we got chopper from hospital ok, then we headed to island, killed FIB agents, and then Avi needed us to get on Seasharks to trigger his spawn in this little cabin it was empty, I didn't recall it worked like that before.

It got flooded by bugs recently. Either you'll have to go sit with all of your teammates on a seashark (at the same time, at that), or ask someone to blow them up while you are going for the heli. Blow them up triggers the island location, so I suggest you doing this. Of course, if you are playing with randumbs chances are they will not blow up the seasharks and someone will drive one towards the island (if he knows where it is). In this case, destroy whatever you find and then, when the idiot arrives at the island, destroy his as well. Just be careful if he parks it next to the police boat. If you destroy it, the game will tell you that you failed, cause you've destroyed the escape vehicle (great fun).

[Hécate-II]

Just now, partci said:

It got flooded by bugs recently. Either you'll have to go sit with all of your teammates on a seashark (at the same time, at that), or ask someone to blow them up while you are going for the heli. Blow them up triggers the island location, so I suggest you doing this. Of course, if you are playing with randumbs chances are they will not blow up the seasharks and someone will drive one towards the island (if he knows where it is). In this case, destroy whatever you find and then, when the idiot arrives at the island, destroy his as well. Just be careful if he parks it next to the police boat. If you destroy it, the game will tell you that you failed, cause you've destroyed the escape vehicle (great fun).

 

I will try to destroy them next time. I'm sure R* changed something, before I would just fly alone and leave randoms on seasharks, sometimes they would scream in chat "plai the mision u ****"  lol

 

[xInfected_Virus]

This happened about a month ago. This isn't necessarily a heist failure but I've go to post here to explain a nightmarish Doomsday Heist Criminal Mastermind run I've ran so far.

 

I was helping a team of four get their Doomsday Criminal Mastermind IV badges and I have plenty of experience of doing Doomsday Criminal Mastermind challenges and help carry players to their Elite challenges in the same Criminal Mastermind run as I've ran 41 at the time of this post (38 at the time of when the run happened a month ago) so I know what I'm talking about. I'm on PS4 btw.

 

So in the run it was myself of course, a guy named Dark (not his full name), Soul and Dey. I've successfully ran CM3 and CM4 with Dark, Dey has done the DDH missions already and it was Soul's first time running the Doomsday Heist let alone doing Criminal Mastermind.

 

Here's the story.

 

Dark was hosting from Grand Senora Facility and I told him to start which he did and having ran CM2 and CM3 with Dark, he immediately knew to call in the Ambulance. I told the other two players to meet me in Vinewood Hills with a Cargobob for the Deluxo prep. Soul didn't have enough for a Cargobob, fair enough and I told Dey to get his Cargobob which he claims he has and I told both of them to meet me in the city. I waited for a bit but no response and I knew this was going to be a nightmarish CM run. 

 

Deluxo prep started and Soul and Dey still in Grand Senora despite me telling them to go to Vinewood hills. I killed the enemies and took the cars out myself and hooked it up to my Cargobob and delivered it to Dey and clearly told him to drive it to the Deluxo LSC in Grand Senora because the Facility is located there. I went back to grab the other one and delivered it to the Grand Senora LSC but Dey sprayed it on LSC. I clearly told him to go to Grand Senora and he started to get mad. Soul went in the Deluxo and I tell him to respray it at Grand Senora but he also didn't listen and sprayed it at LSC. Dark had his Cargobob and delivered the car to Grand Senora as I've instructed. Yes I know respraying the Deluxos at Los Santos is the same objective completion as respraying it at Grand Senora but I get really frustrated when people don't listen to my clear instructions. Akula prep went alright as Soul listened to me to go down to south of Los Santos but Dey was doing his own thing. 

 

Now the preps are done, I head into an invite only to continue to setups and inviting them in went smoothly. However, just as we're starting Dead Courier setup, I gave Soul a rundown of the missions since it's his first time running Doomsday as mentioned already and Dey gets mad and says "Yeah, I know" in a aggressive impatient tone. Dey had joining issues so he closed the game to fix it which is fine and we started the missions and had no problems completing it. The next two setups go well until we reach the pre finale. I tell Soul to get snacks and armor but he didn't listen and wasted time doing nothing and when he finally did listen, we wasted five minutes. We completed the finale no problem and got the Elites as well.

 

Act 2 preps go bad again, first of all on the first keycard prep, I collect the NOOSE Van as normal and tell Soul to stay in the city. As I was near the Prison, I noticed Soul still following me despite clearly telling him to go to the city which frustrated me, but I understand since it's his first time playing and his instinct was to protect me so understandable. Second prep goes smoothly though but a griefer came at me for the RCV prep but I managed to complete it while dealing with the griefer. The Stromberg prep was one of the worst. I collected my Stromberg and tell everyone else to get theirs delivered mines and Dark and Soul was in their Stromberg but Dey was at northern Los Santos which isn't where the last Stromberg is. That was on him but I gave him the benefit of the doubt and repeated my instruction to get the last Stromberg, I got in my Oppressor and reached it and Dey was nowhere near it so I got really angry and said "That was your Stromberg, you should've gotten it before me." I took his Stormberg and I'm still upset but I deliver it and the last prep goes without a hitch. (No the griefer didn't come at us in the Stromberg prep).

 

Act 2 setups went decently with a few hiccups with two deaths which had nothing to do with following my instructions and Soul had internet problems but we managed to complete it and get the Act 2 Finale Elite too. Act 3 preps went alright this time and they followed my instructions. 

 

Act 3 Setup 1 Rescue Agent 14 was the worst of it all. Me and my teammates cleared the Merryweather troops in the shipyard and I tell them to not go to Agent 14 yet otherwise it will trigger the dialogue. I clearly explain to Soul about the rundown of this mission and the dangers with the Juggernauts coming out from a fixed spawn area and where the player spawns and the safe place to hide when the jugs come out for like 5 minutes just to make sure Soul understand clearly and once I finished explaining the rundown, dangers, jug and player spawns and the safe places where the player can hide clearly. I triggered Agent 14's speech and the cutscene plays as normal. For the first batch I spawned at the same place as Soul is and he hid as normal but as soon as the first jugs were down, I tell Soul multiple times to come to my location that's safe from the second wave jugs, I keep telling Soul to come to me but he didn't listen despite them spawning already. By the time the were shooting, he finally ran to my location but he died from the second jugs. That's when I snapped, I yelled at Soul for failing to listen to my clear instructions and he said he didn't know about the second spawn after I already explained to him about the second wave beforehand and he had plenty of time to get to cover as I kept telling him to get to me where I'm behind cover for the second jug wave at the other side. I continue to scold him for a few minutes until I got my composure back. I shouldn't have gotten angry at Soul since it's his first time playing but I couldn't hold my anger after I clearly explained the dangers and the safe spot to hide in for a few minutes before the jugs spawned.

 

We re-do the mission again but this time, it's a success. The rest of Act 3 went without a hitch and we got the Elite for Act 3 Finale and was happy to get it done but no way I'm ever playing with Dey and Soul. My team got their CM4 badges and Dark got his Masterminds trophy. Dark was really good on this run and followed all my instructions clearly but the other two are a nightmare especially Dey as he has that know it all attitude. I forgave Soul after that and somewhat forgave Dey after the run was completed.

 

Yes I know this isn't a failed heist as we've completed the run but I just got to share it here.

[God-eater]

I think we need to establish some sort of tutorial for Heists. Particularly DCH. The abject stupidity, laziness, stupidity, greed, stupidity, entitlement, stupidity and stupidity I have encountered today has been beyond belief. It almost seems like randoms are somehow becoming worse over time.

 

I logged on about 5 hours ago and started queuing up for Heists. I have yet to complete even one successfully. It's at the point where I don't really play GTA anymore; I watch Netflix while getting kicked, watch YouTube while hosts quit the planning board and play with my cat while dashboarding after network errors.

 

Then, about every 45 mins or so, I finally get into a Heist that invariably fails due to either the host effectively rigging it to fail by skipping preps or the team having absolutely no idea where to go or what to do. Like, three different times today, some clueless fool has started hacking the elevator that leads up to the hotel, then the other two idiots follow them in, then they run around up there for 10 mins desperately trying to figure out where to go.

 

They walk in front of cameras, they fire unsuppressed weapons, they knock out guards in front of cameras, they blow hacks, they get spotted (usually by just standing in front of windows as guards approach). Messaging them does nothing. Trying to lead the way does nothing. All attempts to help are either ignored or met with insults and profanity. 

 

I don't get how they aren't insane with frustration after failing over and over and over. I know I sure as f*ck am. Seriously, it's making me hate humanity. I cannot wait for Lockdown 2.0 to be over so I can get the hell out of my house and do something other than watch idiots fuel their failure addiction.

 

[Rotorhead359]

11 hours ago, God-eater said:

I think we need to establish some sort of tutorial for Heists. Particularly DCH. The abject stupidity, laziness, stupidity, greed, stupidity, entitlement, stupidity and stupidity I have encountered today has been beyond belief. It almost seems like randoms are somehow becoming worse over time.

 

I logged on about 5 hours ago and started queuing up for Heists. I have yet to complete even one successfully. It's at the point where I don't really play GTA anymore; I watch Netflix while getting kicked, watch YouTube while hosts quit the planning board and play with my cat while dashboarding after network errors.

 

Then, about every 45 mins or so, I finally get into a Heist that invariably fails due to either the host effectively rigging it to fail by skipping preps or the team having absolutely no idea where to go or what to do. Like, three different times today, some clueless fool has started hacking the elevator that leads up to the hotel, then the other two idiots follow them in, then they run around up there for 10 mins desperately trying to figure out where to go.

 

They walk in front of cameras, they fire unsuppressed weapons, they knock out guards in front of cameras, they blow hacks, they get spotted (usually by just standing in front of windows as guards approach). Messaging them does nothing. Trying to lead the way does nothing. All attempts to help are either ignored or met with insults and profanity. 

 

I don't get how they aren't insane with frustration after failing over and over and over. I know I sure as f*ck am. Seriously, it's making me hate humanity. I cannot wait for Lockdown 2.0 to be over so I can get the hell out of my house and do something other than watch idiots fuel their failure addiction.

 

Good idea, but those tutorials already exist, and the people who actually need them won't be reading them as are too busy failing heists, and they don't know how to google the most basic stuff.

 

I could write a detailed tutorial on every heist, but I won't, because it's wasted effort. If you are reading this, you probably already know how to heist.

 

For me, the only heists worth doing on call with randoms are the OG heists, because at least there I don't get kicked, and there are no missed preps.

Edited June 17, 2021 by AirWolf359

[Hécate-II]

14 minutes ago, AirWolf359 said:

Good idea, but those tutorials already exist, and the people who actually need them won't be reading them as are too busy failing heists, and they don't know how to google the most basic stuff.

 

R* could do some short tutorial on outfits, snacking..etc

 

They should have a dialogue with Paige or Agent 21 explaining in a forced cutscene this stuff. Would be funny. Plus they like to do forced cutscene so why not. 

 

Edit: or a small mission, like paige tells you to go steal some Heavy Vest to MW or whatever, like that forced deathmatch in Cypress Hills you have to play in order to get more options when you start from lvl 1

Edited June 17, 2021 by Hécate-II

[C-Rhee]

Happened quite a long time ago so my memory's a little fuzzy but it happened when the Casino Heist was fairly recently at the time.

If I remember correctly we were taking the stealth approach but we're all basically randoms so you can guess how long that lasted.

Yadayada, we hit the vault, grab the goodies and head out through the rear exit of the casino. There's 4 of us and our getaway vehicles were Nagasaki Outlaw's of all things but not only that, they were placed in the small parking lot in the middle of the horse track. I make a b-line for the the street to take the sewer route and 1 of the other randoms follows along with me. The other two went straight for the Outlaw's and of course, they ate as many bullets as possible and died.

 

Next 5 attempts were all basically the same thing, with the dude that was following me instead following them to their mighty demises. 6th attempt and I text one of them to just follow me to the street so we'll make it to the sewer tunnel hassle free. The person in question listens and I manage to get 2 of them to follow me there. 4th guy whose been on mic the whole time of course just ignores us and runs to those damn Outlaw's like his life depends on it. He predictably dies and is just whining about how frustrating continually dying like that is but is simultaneously too obtuse to acknowledge me and the others instructing him to follow us to the street. 10th attempt and we split into two's again, I very politely text the dude on mic to follow me and the other lad to the street. In response I hear a "F*ck you, I'm not followin' sh*t" over the microphone. 21st attempt (No, not exaggerating.) He and the other dude make it to those Outlaw's and actually survive this time (Not without knocking a couple hundred thousand off our payout.) and the 4 of us all arrive at the drop off separately.

 

I haven't done a single Casino Heist in over half a year and I sure as hell do not miss them.

[Zak Ras]

1 hour ago, C-Rhee said:

I haven't done a single Casino Heist in over half a year and I sure as hell do not miss them.

Before Cayo Perico, when I actively hosted Casino Heists, I just looped Aggressive Sewer and Big Con Gruppe Sechs on Hard. Having that level of control over a Heist when working with other players is something I miss, as more often than not, they WILL behave themselves when they realise how easy the >500 triple-digit rank makes the finale mission by simply putting time into the Prep stages, rather than rush through the bare minimum preps then spend days on end trying to get at least one other player who'll find the willpower to push through a Main Door Aggressive with basic weapons, no Duggan Shipments and no Security Passes. The most common problem in that scenario is when they behave themselves too much and will actively stand behind you while you hack a door in the vault when they could be grabbing loot from a trolley that's out in the open.

 

You're not missing much though, nearly every Casino Heist you join nowadays will either be;

- S&S, no security passes, will attempt to enter via the Main Door, then wonder why the alarms are going off when the front guard there shoots at the team.

- Big Con, Bugstars because that's the one the game will give you automatically by putting no extra effort into the Scope Out mission

- Aggressive, people do seem to be starting to understand that Duggan Shipments are kinda necessary for this, but the fact the Sewer entrance exists is still lost on many people who just opt for the Staff Door and run around the lobby like a headless chicken.

[C-Rhee]

10 minutes ago, Cash 4 Clickbait said:

Before Cayo Perico, when I actively hosted Casino Heists, I just looped Aggressive Sewer and Big Con Gruppe Sechs on Hard. Having that level of control over a Heist when working with other players is something I miss, as more often than not, they WILL behave themselves when they realise how easy the >500 triple-digit rank makes the finale mission by simply putting time into the Prep stages, rather than rush through the bare minimum preps then spend days on end trying to get at least one other player who'll find the willpower to push through a Main Door Aggressive with basic weapons, no Duggan Shipments and no Security Passes. The most common problem in that scenario is when they behave themselves too much and will actively stand behind you while you hack a door in the vault when they could be grabbing loot from a trolley that's out in the open.

 

You're not missing much though, nearly every Casino Heist you join nowadays will either be;

- S&S, no security passes, will attempt to enter via the Main Door, then wonder why the alarms are going off when the front guard there shoots at the team.

- Big Con, Bugstars because that's the one the game will give you automatically by putting no extra effort into the Scope Out mission

- Aggressive, people do seem to be starting to understand that Duggan Shipments are kinda necessary for this, but the fact the Sewer entrance exists is still lost on many people who just opt for the Staff Door and run around the lobby like a headless chicken.

 

Back when the Casino Heist was still the most efficient way to make money I just couldn't get into it at all. While mostly straightforward to do, I always found it so incredibly tedious to setup. Though it probably doesn't help that I prefer to do setups alone 100% of the time. Then there's the potential margin of error during the Heist, then there's reaching the Vault and time limits of any kind give me hella anxiety. (Despite the fact that I went out of my way to obtain Avi Schwartzman for the longest Vault time limit.)

 

When on rare occasion I did feel like doing one with randoms: it was almost always hilariously buggy for me and for whatever reason there was an irritating error at the time that resulted in me getting booted from the Heist join screen the moment it launches basically 96% of the time. The only reason I'd consider setting up a Casino Heist right now is because there's a few outfits I want from it that I never got due to not playing them frequently.

 

The Cayo Perico Heist is heaps and bounds more enjoyable to do compared to Casino Heist for me but at this current point in time I've only got like 1 Cayo under my belt because for reasons I can't explain, I just don't feel like doing it at all. Even during Panther Statue I didn't think twice about launching GTA to setup another one.

 

 

 

[Hécate-II]

On 6/18/2021 at 12:04 AM, C-Rhee said:

 

Back when the Casino Heist was still the most efficient way to make money I just couldn't get into it at all. While mostly straightforward to do, I always found it so incredibly tedious to setup.

 

 

 

 

Cayo setups seem little less time consuming but I can't enjoy the finals...also there is that Velum thing, hate it. Always have to play Stealth because Agressive suk abysmally. 

 

At this day PacStand and Casino Agressive on Hard are still my favorite finals, they feel like real heists, also still glitching the Diamonds loot from last year events for new players.

 

Today one of my daily objectives is to play a DD setup so i'm joining randoms because more fun at failing. 

 

Edited June 19, 2021 by Hécate-II

[God-eater]

Ahhhh haha ha ha haaa haa ha ha ha haaaa ha ha ha ha ha (raucous laughter and eyes steaming with tears goes on for several minutes). 

 

So, today's global daily objective is 'Complete a Doomsday Setup'. I queue up but get The Doomsday Scenario. I was about to quit out when I saw that there was a Rank 1 in the crew. The host, who was Rank 673 and absolutely should have known better, launches. I had to stay because I needed a good hearty laugh. I even messaged both the host and the Rank 1 - the former to give him sh*t for being an idiot (and for doing DDS in his MC instead of CEO), the latter to tell him that I fully expect him to die repeatedly and to not disappoint me by being cautious and taking cover. 

 

You know the first room after you get out of the Kanjali? Yeah, never made it out of there. I wasn't much help - I had been laughing my ass right off my body the whole time, and the coughing fits and streaming eyes were not conducive to accurate fire. Six restarts later, two people voted Continue (not me, of course - I wanted the host to feel every inch of the dick he shoved up his own ass). 

 

I did eventually get the daily objective by dragging some rando thru his Rescue ULP. In true moron style, he brought a Kuruma, drove it to the scrapyard, parked it right at the entrance & got out. Went down in a hail of bullets before he got 10 feet. Luckily, he'd set his vehicle access to Everyone, so I took the wheel, drove around the container he was hopelessly pinned down behind, picked him up and drove around killing clones. There was another hilarious moment when he jumped into a Ramp Buggy instead of taking the gunner seat in the Chernobog, but I corrected him and he came back. To his credit, it only took him a minute or so to work out how to fire the missles, then only 5 or 6 shots to work out how to lock on. We did really well - ULP only lost 95, maybe 96% of his health by the time we finished.

 

Said it before, will say it again - Stupidest. Playerbase. Ever. Like, of any game that has ever existed since the dawn of humanity. If 99% of GTA players died today, the average IQ of Earth would jump by at least 40 points. If aliens came here and the first thing they saw was live steams of GTA heists, they would nuke the planet from orbit to make sure we never infect the rest of the galaxy. If randoms were trapped in a room where all the food was locked behind a door that could only be opened by successfully completing a heist, they'd starve to death. There are as-yet-undiscovered tribes of hunter-gatherers living in the Amazon rainforest who are better at GTA than these dumbf*cks. Randoms would perform better in heists if they just threw their controllers down a flight of stairs. They are more useless than a combination of tits on a bull, a screen door on a submarine, a water-resistant sponge and a solar-powered flashlight. I'm surprised that they can even play GTA at all because to do so one must be able to operate a power button. If we removed all safety warning and barriers from everything everywhere the GTA playerbase would drop by 99% within the hour. I would not be the least bit surprised to hear that a random snapped their own neck while putting on pants. 

[Lance Mayhem]

4 hours ago, God-eater said:

 

 

...I would not be the least bit surprised to hear that a random snapped their own neck while putting on pants. 

 

 

In fairness, the 'Get Dressed' Setup of the 'Everyday Life' Heist is one of the trickiest, but probably necessary to weed out those who wouldn't be able to complete the 'inhale...exhale' that has to be done to get through the Finale. 

 

 

I dig your writing style. Probably for the best that we never met on a Heist, though.

[God-eater]

2 hours ago, Lance Mayhem said:

 

I dig your writing style. Probably for the best that we never met on a Heist, though.

 

Cheers. As for meeting on a heist, that depends - how many times in a row do you make the exact same mistake before trying something different? If your answer is anything except "zero", you're probably right.

 

Just had a Big Con fail because after someone tripped the alarm in the vault by spending the whole timer failing one hack, we got outside, cars were up at the stables, 3 of climbed onto the racetrack, the host went right straight into a sea of cops and got killed. Restart, 3 of us climbed onto the racetrack, host went right & straight into a sea of cops and got killed. Restart, this time 3 of us climbed onto the racetrack while the host elected to go right, straight into a sea of cops and got killed. We restarted, 3 of us climbed onto the racetrack, and the host decided to change things up by going right; unfortunately there was a sea of cops there who handily killed her. We restart, 3 of us climb onto the racetrack, the host goes right, gets about 20 grand shot away, then backtracks, runs along the side of the casino and the sea of cops who already have a line of sight on her kill her. Restart, and then something truly amazing happened - 3 of us climbed onto the racetrack, but the host ran right, charging at her old pal the sea of cops and got killed. Finally, the other two also voted Continue and freed me from this hell. 

 

R* really needs to add the option to just quit at the restart screen to the new heists. I don't understand why they took it away - like, for the love of christ give us the ability to escape from these failfests without dashboarding or taking a BS point. It's almost like they want us to waste as much time as possible, as if they had some kind of vested interest in limiting our ability to make money while frustrating the hell out of us. 

[Hécate-II]

1 hour ago, God-eater said:

as if they had some kind of vested interest in limiting our ability to make money while frustrating the hell out of us. 

 

 

They literally capped to one/per hour a heist of every type you can play, so you cannot grind anymore Bogdan or lets say PacStand by starting your own heist(which resulted in always joining the same heist as you know). Back in the days you would just spam pacstand from phone, quickly leave when guy had no the Player Outfit Enabled and meet the same good randoms over and over lol

[God-eater]

@Hécate-II, yes, I know. I was was dripping with sarcasm in my post. R* very much have a vested interest in limiting our income and frustrating the hell out of us because apparently that's what sells Shark Cards, and selling Shark Cards is all they care about.

 

FYI, you can totally grind Heists - the cooldown is for Quick Jobs only. And that's only for Cayo & DCH; you can still join as many DD & OG Heist Quick Jobs as you like with no cooldown - you're just at the mercy of RNGesus dropping you into whatever comes up, which may or may not be a finale. DD has a pretty massive cooldown for restarting your own, but then again no one is really grinding those legit anyway - it's just back-to-back Bogdans, and even those are obsolete since you can pull the same trick with Cayo Perico and make twice as much.

[Hécate-II]

48 minutes ago, God-eater said:

@Hécate-II, yes, I know. I was was dripping with sarcasm in my post. R* very much have a vested interest in limiting our income and frustrating the hell out of us because apparently that's what sells Shark Cards, and selling Shark Cards is all they care about.

 

FYI, you can totally grind Heists - the cooldown is for Quick Jobs only. And that's only for Cayo & DCH; you can still join as many DD & OG Heist Quick Jobs as you like with no cooldown - you're just at the mercy of RNGesus dropping you into whatever comes up, which may or may not be a finale. DD has a pretty massive cooldown for restarting your own, but then again no one is really grinding those legit anyway - it's just back-to-back Bogdans, and even those are obsolete since you can pull the same trick with Cayo Perico and make twice as much.

 

yes you can join those which pop but often they suck, its better to join from quickjob and quickly bail out when you see the host suk xd

[God-eater]

DCH, S&S. No Optional preps done, host blows Waste Disposal door hack & triggers alarm. Second guy takes over, gets it after a couple of tries. We get in, they're both murdered instantly by fully armed & armored guards.

 

I message host, "When you get tired of repeatedly failing this heist, try doing the optional preps. Save yourself a lot of pain".

Host: "ok".

Also host: proceeds to hit Restart 20 times as if something will magically change.

 

These f*cking moron randoms... 

 

P.S. I'll bet dollars to donuts that after the other guy finally hit Continue (like I had done at every restart screen), the dumbf*ck host went straight back to his Paleto Arcade & relaunched. I don't know why I bother trying to offer advice.

 

Edited June 20, 2021 by God-eater

[Zak Ras]

That feeling when; you join someone's first ever Fleeca Job - Scope Out, you get to Kuruma and the only option that gets even just experimented with is Difficulty.

 

Also, I think people are starting to fail to understand that as Leader's in a finale, it is up to THEM to switch everyone's roles. As well as the big massive Continue button that only appears on the board once all players are ready, they also fail to realise that they can press that in order to continue rather than wait a full 5 minutes, and this isn't an AFK or trolling thing, because they always instantly start dicking around with the clothing options on the next screen and hit Ready as soon as they're done.

 

The cool thing is, the Fleeca I helped out with during the writing of this post, the guy was able to hack without leaving me waiting for longer than 60 seconds outside the bank (my driving was flawless, so I never expect a first timer to be done under that condition, that and I always make sure to drive on Scope Out to give them the practice run) and he correctly experiemented with the drill in order to find the right balance needed and got ino the box in around 2 minutes. Total time for the finale was 8:06.

[partci]

So that's the new thing. Have a mod menu, constantly fail the Heist Finale and get 2 mil for every fail. What a load of... fun.

[God-eater]

Argh, my brain, my brain is hurting.

 

DCH, Big Con, Gruppe 6. Level 2 Security Passes. Exit Disguises in place. Should've been a cakewalk, right?

 

Unfortunately, my teammates are F*ckhead and Idiot. 

 

We get out of the vault, but leave 2 trays of gold behind because f*ckhead takes forever with their hacks and Idiot doesn't even try - just runs around the vault waiting for others to do the work.

 

We get out, I head up the stairs while f*ckhead and Idiot run past me to the elevator. I get upstairs, the near door is unblocked so off I go, in accordance with The Way. I've just knocked out the guard when Idiot & f*ckhead come out of the elevator and charge into the security room, guns blazing. They die instantly. 

 

We restart. I head up the stairs while Idiot & f*ckhead run past me to the elevator. I go out the door & knock out the guard just as Idiot & f*ckhead come out of the elevator and charge into the security room, guns blazing. They die instantly

 

We restart. I head up the stairs while Idiot & f*ckhead run past me to the elevator. I go out the door & knock out the guard just as Idiot & f*ckhead come out of the elevator and charge into the security room, guns blazing. They die instantly.

 

I don't even vote Continue this time; I just dashboard in disgust. 

 

It's not the newbie factor that kills me - we were all new once, and we've all made our share of rookie mistakes; but for motherf*ck's sake why in the name of Odin can't these walking brainfarts learn? Why do they just repeat the exact same mistake over and over? How many times do they need to get their face shot right off of their skull before they think "Hmm, that is obviously not working, perhaps I'll try something else"? 

 

If I did my job the way these f*ck-knuckles play a video game not only would I get fired as fuuuuuck but I'd get blacklisted from every job ever. It terrifies me that these people may one day be responsible for the lives of others, or be allowed to operate heavy machinery, or be given a knife & fork at dinner. Smh...

 

[Hécate-II]

Joined a Hack setup during my Fortified cooldown and went through this: 

 

Host was called Twister, so guessed he could f*cking understand pLeaSe cHanGe tO pLaYeR saVed ouTfiTs, I took almost entirely the aimbots with sniper, sticky and rpg and drove the black van, almost a perfect run with. Next setup I joined(Convoy), asked again twister to change the outfits, probably thought "this guy must have noticed I could solo the setup without dying, so he will listen" xd

 

Nope. Returned to VIP jobs in order to save my soul. 

 

Edited June 22, 2021 by Hécate-II

[partci]

Here's me, yesterday, trying to finish my own PacSt Finale for 50 minutes to no avail... pick up a team of Low Rank Randos and it seemed like they were listening to me even when we got to the bikes (meaning they stood in the bank and I got the checkpoint). And than something broke as they keep failing and dying just before that final bridge before the long tunnel and the hills. At the last try someone disconnected and I felt so tired...

 

... so I joined a DCH. S&S. Art. 3 people.

 

To my total surprise Mr. Host was competent enough (well, sorta) and it was going goddamn smooth, we even had the EMP (which Mr. Host never triggered),even picked the vault without me telling anybody about it. I was impressed. Just before the mantrap someone alerted the guards, but I guess everybody ultimately decided we are not restarting, which was whatever, as Mr. Host had done all the preps, so no Terminators. Everybody could hack, so we were quick, manage to get out of the casino relatively easy... and then the fun began. We ran for a civilian car and I managed to pick a two seats one, which turned out to be the bane of my existence for what it seemed like the next two hours. Heist was on Normal, so we had one mistake allowed. Mr. Host got killed while jumping the fence, which can happen sometimes, I know the Aimbot Syndrom that this game has. Problem is, he got spawned near the tunnel (his words) and decided to stay there, while me and the other guy were riding the two-seat-o-mobile. The car was with... a hood (I think is the word) and it clearly had 2 more seats, I managed to pull said hood down but I guess a third person cannot simply sit in a car with four seats if it does not have four doors in this game. So I told Mr. Host to go pick a car when his wanted level drops, just don't go around the casino. Unfortunately we got the infinite heat glitch for a while and then when we just dropped it and he got out of the tunnel, he got the heat again. So I had to pull out from the far side of the tunnel, pick up a four door car (a jeep, lucky me), get back all the way to the sewers, pick Mr. Host up, drive all the way back to the far side, cause going out from the casino side gave us wanted level even before we got out of the tunnel, and off to the farthest Paleto Bay point (of course) on a half broken jeep we were (I swear these NPC cars brake in pieces by you just being in them). I was afraid to switch vehicles again, as the game is notorious of giving you the heat back randomly when you are doing this so it was almost like driving in turtle speed.

 

My hardest earned 15% since I can't remember. At least we pulled it out, but man... was I EXHAUSTED after this one and had to just shut the game down.