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Heist failure stories


Liquid_Snake_LosSantos

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Cash 4 Clickbait
Posted (edited)

Has Casino Heist replaying become a thing recently? Because it's the only explaination I have for this.

 

Aggressive, Artwork, Level 2 Security, Duggan Shipments All Destroyed, Hand Drills.

Immediate red flag, 4 players for Artwork. Host is 400+, I'm nearly 800, and the other two are in the upper double digits, Host gives us bigger cuts than himself. Host picks Side Door for Entry & Escape. Weirdly, goes off without a hitch, bar one of the double digits deciding to leave the vault and not bother with lockboxes despite having about a minute left. I grabbed the Daily Vault prior to going downstairs, on the way back up another player tried to grab it, but it had no money and got glitched on it. One EWO reset from the host and we escape, round the racetrack and over the fence, the other 3 are running for the getaway cars, I grab the first civvy car, unfortunately only a 2 seater.

 

The team are so far away I just go for the tunnel right next to me, we've already failed the Elite Challenge, no point rushing for the helicopter to beat the par time when we can keep the money we do have safe. Rest of the team get to the Getaway Cars, then go for the chopper, as I get to the opening under the UD waiting for my Wanted Level to clear, the chopper starts making a beeline for me. I say screw it and slowly creep out, Wanted Level hasn't cleared yet but hey, quick pickup and we're off... nope, the choppers still halfway up the UD in the sky. Luckily my Wanted Level clears before I get surrounded, and I carry on, the host decides to furiously chase me. I take a bad spinout but luckily don't lose any money, chopper finally lands in front of me and I say screw it and get it... that's when I hear sirens.

 

My only guess is the host thinks the Wanted Level is shared amongst the whole team regardless of location or vehicle. We take a few hits but we get there, that's when I notice in the 100k on a Coupe screen there's only 3 characters, and the Host isn't among them.

 

I can only imagine this bright spark thinks he's being a hero to the community by potentially taking the bullet from the anti-cheat system by hosting repeat Casino Heists... with some of the most ridiculous strategies for the simpliest no-nonsense heist in the game.

Edited by Cash 4 Clickbait
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8 hours ago, AirWolf359 said:

WvTuTI1.png

difficulty Easy (0.50x RP & Cash)

 

Tell them you can sell a car off the street for that much and bail. Or troll the sh*t out of the heist. Like, if you're Pilot/Demo, just don't pick them up. Prison Officer? Treat Professor Rashkovsky to a grand tour of San Andreas. Prisoner? Well, the Prof ain't going anywhere you don't lead him. Worth every penny of the measly $20K you're giving up, in my opinion.

 

I've asked hosts in the past why they set finales to Easy. The most common response I get (besides the ones that just insult me) is to the effect of "tired of randoms failing". I suggest that no decent player will stay for so little reward, and perhaps by incentivising the crew with a payout worth their time the host might get a different outcome.

 

Then they just insult me. 

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DuhBritishTea
Posted (edited)
6 hours ago, Cash 4 Clickbait said:

potentially taking the bullet from the anti-cheat system by hosting repeat Casino Heists

Heist replaying has been a thing since Pac Standard in 2015 (then Bogdan, Casino, and CPH) and I have not heard of anyone getting banned for replaying heists exclusively (excluding other glitches).

 

10 hours ago, AirWolf359 said:

difficulty Easy (0.50x RP & Cash)

At least you got 10%. I get hosts who think it's okay to give 0% "because you're rank 700 and don't need money". Ridiculous.

Edited by DuhBritishTea
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Cash 4 Clickbait
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, DuhBritishTea said:

Heist replaying has been a thing since Pac Standard in 2015 (then Bogdan, Casino, and CPH) and I have not heard of anyone getting banned for replaying heists exclusively (excluding other glitches).

I know, it's just I've never experienced a random Host who felt obligated to dish out money to randoms because he could do a replay glitch in the Casino Heist.

Edited by Cash 4 Clickbait
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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Cash 4 Clickbait said:

I know, it's just I've never experienced a random Host who felt obligated to dish out money to randoms because he could do a replay glitch in the Casino Heist.

 

Last week I queued up for a random DCH, but hit Cayo by mistake. Actually got into one. 2-man Panther/gold, Kosatka, Drainage Tunnel. Host gave me 85%. Smashed the heist, I scored about 2.6 million. Host disconnected at the appropriate moment. Never spoke to or messaged me, never asked for anything in return. Just dumped a bunch of cash on me because they could.

 

I decided to pay it forward by joining some DCHs and giving an A+ performance regardless of cuts. Alas, the playerbase decided it would rather kick me or fail the heists for hours and hours and hours. So I chose a promising newbie, told them I would help them get a better setup for their heist, got them Security Entrance & Sewer entries, did Gruppe Sechs & Exit Disguise preps with them, went on heist, asked for 15%, taught them the correct execution, carried them to a near 2-million dollar score.

 

In a nutshell, some rando gave me a (big, juicy, jewel-encrusted) fish, so I dragged a rookie out of the mud & taught them to fish. Did that three more times that week.

 

Two of them are now on my friends list, and with one of them we've been smashing out DCHs & Cayos for the last 3 days. We've made about 20 million each so far.

 

Edit: Forgot to mention, first Cayo guy was an absolute gun - didn't put a foot wrong, didn't slack off for a second, zero mistakes. Even did the hack and the drilling. Lol, I was like, "Huh, so this is what it feels like to be carried".

Edited by God-eater
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Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, DuhBritishTea said:

Heist replaying has been a thing since Pac Standard in 2015 (then Bogdan, Casino, and CPH) and I have not heard of anyone getting banned for replaying heists exclusively (excluding other glitches).

 

At least you got 10%. I get hosts who think it's okay to give 0% "because you're rank 700 and don't need money". Ridiculous.

Actually I got zero. The heist never started, because the host quit at the outfit selection screen. I think that was for the best too.

I don't have high expectations of a host who sets it on easy (0.50 Cash & RP) and pays less than 15% without asking.

And the whole argument that high levels don't need money is indeed ridiculous. You pay people for doing the job, you don't pay them for their level.

If anything, you should pay high levels more for taking their time to help you, and doing the job right. If a host doesn't understand that, he may fail his heist.

Edited by AirWolf359
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Yesterday we had a good PacStand run, found a lvl 39 who accepted to wear the heist vest after Signal setup, wasn't shooting rocket when facing walls...etc, I showed him the whole of safest getaway route for PacStand: bikes, no money loss, no jump, no cops in canyon.  We gave him 45% of the payout as he was pleasingly understanding and compliant. 

 

Still, earlier during the Convoy setup we had some lvl 200 who went rambo against the pick up insurgent and got smashed by the .50 caliber two times in a row and ragequited. 🤣

 

 

 

 

 

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I could almost make this post a single sentence: "So I went on a DCH run with randoms."

 

To elaborate, we're back on virus lockdown for a week (thanks, whoever brought it back to my state that has been free & clear for eight months...), so I settled in for a GTA marathon. No friends online yet, so to the quick job menu I go. 

 

Drop into a DCH. 4-man Cash, but the Host chooses Gruppe Sechs/Firefighters. Looks good on paper, so I ready up and we begin the long drive down from Paleto (sigh). 

 

Into the vault, full clear, everyone out before the timer. We've even got L2 Security Passes. Fool that I am, I allow a glimmer of hope to creep into my mind.

 

We get upstairs, some via staircase, others via elevator. 

 

Host runs around to the left (doesn't even check right to see if it's open - it is) and immediately clobbers a guard right under the camera. Host has also skipped Duggan Shipments so two of us die almost instantly. Restart.

 

Up the stairs, out the door, Host goes left and immediately clobbers a guard right under the camera. Two of us killed, restart. 

 

I message he host: "Chill, just follow us to the other door". No reply.

 

Up the stairs, out the door, Host goes left and immediately clobbers a guard right under the camera. Two of us die, restart.

 

I message the host "dude, stop making the same mistake, just follow me & we'll get thru this easy". No reply.

 

Up the stairs, out the door, Host goes left and immediately clobbers a guard right under the camera. Two of us die, restart.

 

Up the stairs, someone quits. Heist failed.

 

Just so much stupid from randoms. A rookie move I can understand, but for the love of Jesus, Joseph and doggy-style Mary how many times do you have to repeat the exact same mistake before you think "hmmm, maybe I should try something else"?

 

Going to go solo some Simeon Repo missions now. Hit my quota for dealing with random f*ck-knuckles for the month. 

 

 

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DuhBritishTea
On 5/31/2021 at 11:03 PM, AirWolf359 said:

If anything, you should pay high levels more for taking their time to help you, and doing the job right. If a host doesn't understand that, he may fail his heist.

It's amazing that hosts expect me to carry them for 0% cut. For 0% I'm going to sit back and watch you LOL.

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, DuhBritishTea said:

It's amazing that hosts expect me to carry them for 0% cut. For 0% I'm going to sit back and watch you LOL.

 

Hosts expecting others to carry them at all is laughable. If it's your heist, it behooves you to drive its success. If you're a newbie, recognise that you're learning & be prepared to pay for your education. 

 

I teach lessons all the time; unfortunately, a lot of the time the lesson is "you get what you pay for". The rest are usually to the effect of "skipping preps is the road to failure after failure after failure". 

 

Randoms don't listen, tho; usually they just insult me.

Stupidest. Playerbase. Ever.

Edited by God-eater
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FFS, what did I just took part in???

 

PacSt finale R119, R7, R79 and me. Host gives all us pendejitos 20%, so I have to work for the team.

 

After couple of tries I manage to get the checkpoint for the bikes. Two more short attempts and one longer attempt with people crashing or getting obliterated by the cops or don't knowing how to open their parachute and R119 I guess had enough and decided to put his mod menu in use. You think here's where everything ends and we all finish the mission in one go...

ClQ956Q.gif

 

First, the two low levels insisted driving their bikes still, when me and Mr. modder were flying around in his Deluxos, me writing in chat in English (silly me), him I guess in Chinese. Here is where I need to say that he was a HORRIBLE player as well and could not escape hitting traffic even in flying Deluxo, but this is besides the point. Finally one of the numbskulls gets the idea and jumps into my Deluxo... But decides to hit F mid air and didn't knew how to open his parachute, so, DED. Next one. The other NUMBSKULL (not Mr. Parachute) went into the first cop car that showed on the radar and died a horrible death.

 

Another go.

 

Mr. modder calls the Deluxos immediately, Mr. Parachute apparently got the memo and stayed, the other idiot went with the bike. Mr. modder caught up with him and called him a Depressor (I was hovering around with Mr. Parachute, watching the debacle). So, Mr. NUMBSKULL finally gets a light bolt blink in his head (or I guess he just saw a free Depressor to ride) and wen on it. And I'm like "FINALLY!"

ClQ956Q.gif

 

We all get to the boat, aside of Mr. NUMBSKULL who flies somewhere, I don't know where, with the Depressor. I hover with the Deluxo over the boat, blowing police choppers and cars up, gaining free RP, I guess. Finally, with two minutes left, Mr. NUMBSKULL decides to show up again. Some 120 000 feet in the air, apparently. So he lands. And he lands. And he lands. And he lands. And I guess he hit the coveted F button and fell to his death. We start over.

 

F me five days from Sunday.

 

Mr. modder calls the Deluxos again, but one of the numbskulls (or two of them) never got to the bikes, and my brain was already in a lethargy mode to recognize this immediately, so we took off and we now have to return to the bikes, cause the script isn't triggered. I try to blow them bikes up, but Mr. modder and Mr. NUMBSKULL instead try to ride them. Something goes wrong or Mr. modder got really confused... so he killed himself. I'm like "F me six days from Sunday..." We go again, I try to run ahead and blow the bikes up, someone stands in front of me and you can now find pieces of me all around that alley with the bikes. We go again, this time everybody gets in the Deluxos after we trigger the bikes. No hiccups.

 

To my total surprise, we got the heist done.

 

50+ minutes to finish it outside the bank WITH A MODDER ON OUR TEAM.

 

What an Fn clusterF.

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@partci f*cking Deluxos on Pac Standard?!?

 

I mean, I feel for ya with the randos and all, but dude, mod menus on heists? Why even play if you're just gonna hack it to make it super-easy mode? Not you, obviously, but if I had been there I'd have bailed the second I saw those Deluxos. I don't understand PC players at all.

 

 

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Posted (edited)

@God-eater to be fair to Mr. modder, he was not doing any modding until the other two knuckleheads started to fail left, right and center. Then I was like "I've spent so much effort pulling those morons, that  I just want my 20% and I don't care if someone will mod me a Deluxo, Depressor, Kuruma or a tugboat." It was supposed to be easy with Mr. modder, but alas, I had to suffer for them 200k like nobodies business (money were in Mr. modder and he lost like 50k during all of the debacles, oh, you better be sure I was keeping an eye on it).

Edited by partci
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11 hours ago, partci said:

@God-eater to be fair to Mr. modder, he was not doing any modding until the other two knuckleheads started to fail left, right and center. Then I was like "I've spent so much effort pulling those morons, that  I just want my 20% and I don't care if someone will mod me a Deluxo, Depressor, Kuruma or a tugboat." It was supposed to be easy with Mr. modder, but alas, I had to suffer for them 200k like nobodies business (money were in Mr. modder and he lost like 50k during all of the debacles, oh, you better be sure I was keeping an eye on it).

 

I had to grin at the use of "fair" and "modder" in the same sentence. 😂

 

All I'm really saying is this is a game, and, like any game, if there's no risk of losing then winning means nothing.

 

If it was war or delivering babies then I say pull every filthy trick you've got to get an advantage; but it's not. It's a video game. No one dies if you lose, nothing is lost but time (time we're already wasting playing a video game) - when you cheat at a video game, you're kind of missing the point of playing video games. In the end, you're really only cheating yourself. 

 

I haven't posted a heist failure story, so here's one from yesterday: I joined a DCH with randoms. S&S, host drove in front of the valet, then sped around to the Staff Lobby and swiped before anyone could stop them. No Duggan prep and we had Uzis. The part that irritated me was we drove all the way down from Paleto just to insta-fail. No, wait, the part that irritated me was how 3 randoms kept spamming restart despite the fact that we couldn't get 5 feet past the metal detector. Randoms are even too stupid to recognise a blown run when it shoots them in the face four times in a row.

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Cash 4 Clickbait
Posted (edited)
On 6/1/2021 at 2:12 PM, Hécate-II said:

safest getaway route for PacStand: bikes, no money loss, no jump, no cops in canyon.

How do you pull off; no jump, no cops in the canyon with the bikes AND no money lost? I can understand the route for all of that except for the no money lost.

 

Nowadays if I end up in a Pac Standard and Host isn't doing the Noose Van and it has to be the bikes, I take it past the Casino and then take the grass, through the La Fuente Blanca ranch, north through Grand Senora off-road in between the highway to my right and the Yellow GPS route on my left, just heading north until I hit Sandy Shores Airfield, follow the railway track west until I cross the river that leads to Zancudo. From there it's 50/50, either resume the Yellow GPS route or stick to the tracks through the tunnel that leads to the mill, and then right up over the mountain and resuming the Yellow GPS from there.

 

Of course, this would come after Player Saved Outfits, Heavy Utility Vests, Bike Checkpoint Warp... but I never host OG Heists anymore, and I'd sooner expect to see the release of the Story DLC that was promised to release in 2014 back in December 2013 than find a player who knows about those 3 pieces of info plus the benefits of a Noose Van nowadays.

Edited by Cash 4 Clickbait
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Posted (edited)
8 minutes ago, Cash 4 Clickbait said:

How do you pull off; no jump, no cops in the canyon with the bikes AND no money lost? I can understand the route for all of that except for the no money lost.

 

 

Need to be extra careful, I will probably record it one day. In a nutshell: don't shoot cops, Madrazo ranch, keep off road til Sandy shores airfield, take railway, then go back to normal route(hills on the left, from where you shoot the Savage in Convoy setup), then you start using Grenade Launcher, kill the cops near  the tunnel....etc

 

Edited by Hécate-II
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3 hours ago, Cash 4 Clickbait said:

Of course, this would come after Player Saved Outfits, Heavy Utility Vests, Bike Checkpoint Warp... but I never host OG Heists anymore, and I'd sooner expect to see the release of the Story DLC that was promised to release in 2014 back in December 2013 than find a player who knows about those 3 pieces of info plus the benefits of a Noose Van nowadays.

 

Ah, memories. You're right, tho - you never see it anymore. Like, the absolute best way to do that heist barring heli escape is Noose van, but no one knows it anymore. 

 

Heavy Armor, bike teleport, noose van = easy $1.25M, but you can't even message the host about any of it - they just ignore you, or insult you or just have no idea what you're talking about.

 

My favorite responses: 

 

Me: Player Saved outfits?

Host: No

Team: dies in the alley 273 times.

 

Me: Player Saved Outfits, pls. For the Heavy Armor.

Host: slows u down noob

Team: dies in the alley 273 times

 

Me: Gets to bikes while team is still bogged down at the top of the alley, blows up bikes, then self (twice, because Normal)

Host: quits at restart screen, sends me message saying he's reporting me for griefing

 

The last one is probably my favorite. 😒

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Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, Cash 4 Clickbait said:

... either resume the Yellow GPS route or stick to the tracks through the tunnel that leads to the mill...

There's a problem with following the train tracks to the mill and it is the fact that if if you don't go through the checkpoint that follows the regular GPS road, the small hill roads will literally swarm with cops and NOOSE. Tried it several times so I can confirm it. Thus, I turn right before that long train tunnel, go back on the main road and through the Convoy mission bridge, left through the hills immediately after the bridge and through the tunnel there. If you follow the actual road with its sharp turn where cops are waiting in an ambush, you are begging for something to go wrong (aka being aimbotted into oblivion).

 

5 hours ago, God-eater said:

... when you cheat at a video game, you're kind of missing the point of playing video games. In the end, you're really only cheating yourself...

More often I take a shortcut to skip something that I find annoying, especially if it is a repetiton done ad nauseum. If I bump into a modder in a mission I go with it, there's nothing wrong with this if they are not malicious. And no, I don't cheat myself - I'm saving my time from doing something that may be boring or time consuming. Like in these games where you play hours and hours and hours till you get to open the cool tree skill so you can finally use (almost) everything in it and an hour later the game is over (Blackguards, HoMM series, Witcher 3, Shadow of Mordor and recently I played Remnant, where to open all the cool skills you need to grind like crazy for skill points). It's fun discovering stuff the first, even the second time, but after a while you just want to have access to some skills for more than an hour or two. In GTA I find most people want to skip unnecessarily long set ups and preps most of the time, thus stuff like repeat heists is a thing.

 

If you ask me, often I'll find it way more fun if someone mod me a tank in PacSt finale to go to the boat with it, blowing cops all the way through. Similar to the NOOSE van "exploit", but with action.

 

BTW one can say that using Heavy U Vests is also an exploit in those missions. 😇

Edited by partci
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@partci regarding Heavy Vests, they were added to the game specifically for the OG Heists - which is why they only work in those heists. Not even close to an exploit. Player Saved Outfits is there on purpose.

 

As for the rest, each to their own, of course. Modding just isn't my style. Although the tank thing could be pretty hilarious once or twice...

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28 minutes ago, God-eater said:

... Not even close to an exploit. Player Saved Outfits is there on purpose.

Just like it is not (on purpose) in the DDS missions where you can get one shot sniped more often than not. Great fun.

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AcidRain7744
16 hours ago, God-eater said:

I haven't posted a heist failure story, so here's one from yesterday: I joined a DCH with randoms. S&S, host drove in front of the valet, then sped around to the Staff Lobby and swiped before anyone could stop them. No Duggan prep and we had Uzis. The part that irritated me was we drove all the way down from Paleto just to insta-fail. No, wait, the part that irritated me was how 3 randoms kept spamming restart despite the fact that we couldn't get 5 feet past the metal detector. Randoms are even too stupid to recognise a blown run when it shoots them in the face four times in a row.

 

That describes about half of my casino heists. Long drive from paleto with players throwing stickies and rolling the car the whole way. Then usually they quit as we pull up to the casino or die right after the metal detector.

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@AcidRain7744 Indeed, the Way of Randoms is puzzling. They seem to be religiously devoted to failure. They cannot be bargained with, they cannot be reasoned with, they do not feel shame, or stupid, or remorse. And they absolutely will not stop, ever, until they are dead.

 

Here's one I'm on right now. Aggressive, Art, 4 man crew. As we drive to the Casino, I can't help but think, "Boy, you guys are gonna miss those Prox mines when we get inside." Inside, main entrance, no Duggan prep done. Didn't make it out of the first room. 3 Continue votes, Heist failed.

 

At least the Arcade was in La Mesa, so it was a short drive.

 

 

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DuhBritishTea
On 6/7/2021 at 11:23 PM, partci said:

50+ minutes to finish it outside the bank WITH A MODDER ON OUR TEAM.

These "modders" from my experience aren't exactly the brightest players in the game. Why not just spawn a armored kuruma (throwback to 2015-2017) and teleport everyone to the dinghy? 

 

Then again, that's probably why they use menus in the first place. No brain no skill.

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33 minutes ago, DuhBritishTea said:

... Why not just spawn a armored kuruma (throwback to 2015-2017) and teleport everyone to the dinghy?

Like I said, I guess he was actually a new player (R107) and second - he wanted to play the heist. But got annoyed by the other two numbskulls. And maybe was not aware of the teleportation. Like I said, he seemed like a really new player, despite his R107 which I consider a player with decent experience in the game. I know that at 100 I had all the business' and stuff and was just starting to actually pile money.

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Ah, I love rookies who are quick to throw shade because they have no idea what you're doing or why.

 

Case in point: Pac Standard - Signal. I pass the first set of Seasharks and head down the freeway to Raton Canyon. Host msgs me: "tf you doin", which I interpreted as him questioning my actions and being unaware of the second set of Seasharks. As I get to the Seasharks, host quits & msgs "if your not gonna play don't join my sh*t". I basked in that for a few moments while deciding whether to educate him or let his rude ass wallow in ignorance. Opted for the former, response was "😂👌". Still not completely sure what he was trying to communicate.

 

Here's another one: DCH, Bugstars. I go the back way, everyone else goes to Baker's office. I get downstairs and am waiting at the mantrap door when the host msgs me "where are u?". I tell them I'm waiting for them downstairs. Host quits. Now, they could've just timed out while messaging, but it could just as well been the host genuinely not understanding what I've done & thinking I'm sabotaging the heist. 

 

Randoms give me a crick in my neck from all the head-shaking.

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I've started my third CMM, so I may have to tell my own failures soon lol

 

1-couldn't snipe Dima Popov from good distance during Wet Work, wtf is going on with my rendering distances? I'm sure I could do it before, did it so many times, during the setup bodyguards appeared as thermal objects and were rendered but no Dima...Ended killing him with AP Pistol lol

2-Nearly failed to get my team as Velum pilot during PB final, the f*cking Lazer drawn me to ocean void, I couldn't manage to make it turn around the lake like how it used to be, ground team was picked in a wtf small route near airfield in a chaotic emergency, avoided a collision with spamming cop cars...

 

Setup I fear the most is Trash Truck from Series A, I will probably play it as Ripley in Alien, 100% minigun and spamming Grenade launcher, RPG, unloading everything I have as fast as possible on those f*ckers

 

 

Desktop-Screenshot-2021-06-12-01-39-19-30

Edited by Hécate-II
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Irony is a funny thing.

 

So today's rant is about hosts who raise cuts until you ready up, then drop it down & quickly start the heist.

 

See, the thing is I don't care about cuts anymore; I've long since accepted that most players think it's completely fine to give minimum cuts, on top of which I'm retired from grinding money. Plus, since the vast, vast majority of heists with randoms fail, the cut makes no difference to me - 15, 25, 50% of zero is zero. 

 

But if you pull that funny bugger sh*t I described above, I will make it my mission to see to it that you lose far more money than you took from me. A full set of snacks means I can soak up an enormous amount of lead without dying, costing hundreds of thousands over just a couple of restarts. Pac Standard is even easier - hope you're ready to fight Noose in your tuxes and chemist suits.

 

If you'd just refrained from being a greedy dick, I would've been fine with my minimum cut and done my job. See? Irony is a funny thing.

 

P.S. I acknowledge there is a level of toxicity there, btw; nevertheless I fully endorse and encourage this particular behaviour. Host wants to f*ck with you, f*ck with them right back. 

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6 minutes ago, Hécate-II said:

give 25% godeater

Grand Theft Auto 5 Online 21 Jump Street Prom Tuxedo suit outfit tutorial -  YouTube

 

Dude, please tell me you keep your money stashed on your second character. 😮

Edited by God-eater
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22 minutes ago, God-eater said:

 

Dude, please tell me you keep your money stashed on your second character. 😮

 

its not me, just random generic low level in white suit. 

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