Heist failure stories

[AIcatraz]

I remember when me and my teammate arrived at the apartment with the files (prison heist) and then he decided to throw a grenade under us before i reached the marker... needless to say i think you know what happened

[hugh750]

in around 2015 i was on xbox 360, i was doing pacific standard job finale.

it was me, 2 randoms & a friend, we left my richards majestic apartment (i was riding my bati 801).

one of the randoms kept beeping at me with an annoying horn, then he knocks me off my bike then intentionally runs me over and kills me.

my friend messages me asking what happend (i messaged him back telling him what happend).

[JON22]

I have a 100% no failure rate because I haven't yet played any heist finales. I can't be bothered.

[AUScowboy]

2 hours ago, JON22 said:

I have a 100% no failure rate because I haven't yet played any heist finales. I can't be bothered.

You're missing out, especially on DH and the casino.. if you make a few friends who even remotely competent these Heists are a blast.

[gnomefromnome]

last night, I got tired of the random crew I joined failing the Deliver EMP Set Up, so I'd thought I will stroll around the perimeter of the fence and see if there would be some sort of advantage. There wasn't. But as soon as I made it back to the entrance, low and behold the 3 stooges manages to complete the Delivery. I didn't bother to enter the van, just ran up the mountain top and watch from above lol

We did complete the Humane Labs, after the Valkarie was destroyed once though.

 

EDIT: Copy/paste added the 'highlight' lol

Edited November 15, 2020 by gnomefromnome

[Acky.]

I was genuinely at disbelieve there was this many retards until I played with randoms today.

 

Pac Standard Finale, following waymap route, not jumping off the bike, the amount of times this one individual killed themselves. We was doing to 700k and I left and the host couldn’t get it into their head exactly why I had left, despite only being on 15% cut.

 

Casino Heist ~ Sneaky.

Two attempts with three of us.

The host was fine, took the daily take before going down, but once in the vault? We had one guy stood literally doing NOTHING when the take was diamonds. Wasn’t hacking the accesses, wasn’t even looting. Host left after noticing.

The second attempt we had a guy in there who kept alerting the guards before we even got to the bottom floor. Didn’t know how to get the daily take, wouldn’t listen to me telling him not to kill the same guard over and over again.

 

I still do not physically believe these people are genuinely this inept at doing something so simple - I am 100% convinced these people are just trolls because nobody can be this dense.

[AUScowboy]

Just got raped out of an adequate payout on diamonds. Played with a random (of course) as no friends were on today and again, obviously the random had no headset. He was unable to even make it past the first area without blowing our cover and was clearly just dicking around inside the vault. There were multiple trays of diamonds available and he kept wasting time on hacking needlessly. I should have quit then but didn't because I wanted to get this one in before the event is over. Man I regret not quitting and trying later with a friend.. hasty decision making. We got 1,220,000 out of the possible 3.2, and he got 40% for all his f*cking about.

Edited November 18, 2020 by AUScowboy

[gnomefromnome]

EMP, 2 players just had to drive the dinghy. One in the driver's seat wouldn't budge, the other wouldn't get in the damn boat. So....I hauled the driver out myself and took off myself. Made it out to the aircraft carrier which was surprising because I thought the host would quit. I started taking out the enemies and made it to the upper deck. By then one person made it out, not sure how...maybe he swam out? By then I guess whoever was left on the beach quit the heist. No biggy because the host had set it on Easy.

[hugh750]

during aggressive casino heist (i did all the setups and options).

when i got to the actual heist i repeatedly got "host left setup board" messages and got dropped into freeroam, but once i got one random and one troll.

i got into the car we needed to use to get to sewer entrance but the troll pulled me out of the driver seat and drove away and blew up the car (causing us to fail).

after that i got dropped to single player.

i tried again with heist, this time with a level 128 random (we kept getting killed until i gave up).

i finally got lucky with another low level (we only died once).

 

[ForcefulMars459]

I jumped onto an on-call Doomsday Heist - it was ACT III Finale with a level 199 random.

 

I thought - this will be great, we'll get it done, contribute to the $100B, and I didn't care about the 15% cut I was offered.

 

Everything was good and smooth, until the very end, when the "CEO has left the mission" message appears and I am back in free roam. No big deal I think, as people have lives outside of GTA...only to get shot by the host who then flees to his house.

 

I get a mission pop-up notification....same guy restarts the ACT III Finale and is looking for another victim to troll.

[Halal Cyborg]

58 minutes ago, ForcefulMars459 said:

I jumped onto an on-call Doomsday Heist - it was ACT III Finale with a level 199 random.

 

I thought - this will be great, we'll get it done, contribute to the $100B, and I didn't care about the 15% cut I was offered.

 

Everything was good and smooth, until the very end, when the "CEO has left the mission" message appears and I am back in free roam. No big deal I think, as people have lives outside of GTA...only to get shot by the host who then flees to his house.

 

I get a mission pop-up notification....same guy restarts the ACT III Finale and is looking for another victim to troll.

I joined a random casino heist as it was aggressive so not much can go wrong...we get near the end after I grabbed most of the paintings we grabbed and had 30 kills...I carried the team basically and same host left right near the end and then restarted and I could see he has one of the crew in his organisation...these people are infuriating.

[TheGasmeter]

Infuriating is right. Especially those who say in the pre lobby that they know what they are doing, until they get in and mess it up at the very beginning. Just carried 2 randomers on the Bugstar big con. It usually goes the same way too, they don't listen the first time. Sort of listen the second time. Listen a bit more the third time, then the forth time, you literally have to tell them as well as show them where to run and when. 

 

Anyways, not so much a heist fail, but more a prep fail. How the hell do I get the getaway car off the boat! No ramps, no working crane, no gangway it fits down... I guess I just needed to drive full pelt off the crate and not take it down easily.

Edited November 18, 2020 by TheGasmeter

[hugh750]

1 hour ago, Halal Cyborg said:

I joined a random casino heist as it was aggressive so not much can go wrong...we get near the end after I grabbed most of the paintings we grabbed and had 30 kills...I carried the team basically and same host left right near the end and then restarted and I could see he has one of the crew in his organisation...these people are infuriating.

 

41 minutes ago, TheGasmeter said:

Infuriating is right. Especially those who say in the pre lobby that they know what they are doing, until they get in and mess it up at the very beginning. Just carried 2 randomers on the Bugstar big con. It usually goes the same way too, they don't listen the first time. Sort of listen the second time. Listen a bit more the third time, then the forth time, you literally have to tell them as well as show them where to run and when. 

 

Anyways, not so much a heist fail, but more a prep fail. How the hell do I get the getaway car off the boat! No ramps, no working crane, no gangway it fits down... I guess I just needed to drive full pelt off the crate and not take it down easily.

i don't mind harmless free roam trolling (like getting locked in stores (since it's easy get out)), but heist trolling is infuriating (why do they ruin heists on purpose)?

41 minutes ago, TheGasmeter said:

Infuriating is right. Especially those who say in the pre lobby that they know what they are doing, until they get in and mess it up at the very beginning. Just carried 2 randomers on the Bugstar big con. It usually goes the same way too, they don't listen the first time. Sort of listen the second time. Listen a bit more the third time, then the forth time, you literally have to tell them as well as show them where to run and when. 

 

Anyways, not so much a heist fail, but more a prep fail. How the hell do I get the getaway car off the boat! No ramps, no working crane, no gangway it fits down... I guess I just needed to drive full pelt off the crate and not take it down easily.

if i remember right, you use a cargobob.

Edited November 18, 2020 by hugh750

[Halal Cyborg]

Nah you just accelerate quick...snipe or oppressor mk2 all aimbot npcs on boat before approaching car...it’s indestructible until you get close to it.

[Standard Deluxe 59]

On 11/17/2020 at 9:03 AM, Acky. said:

Didn’t know how to get the daily take

I didn't even know there was a daily take. Maybe because I never do silent and sneaky it doesn't appear?

[Acky.]

Just now, Standard Deluxe 59 said:

I didn't even know there was a daily take. Maybe because I never do silent and sneaky it doesn't appear?

I’m sure you can get it regardless of approach - someone stands in the security room opening the door with the button and someone just loots the mini vault.

 

Obviously if doing the Big Con, you’ll be compromised, but it’s definitely possible on Silent and Sneaky.

[MikeyDLuffy]

Watched the Buzzard land in the sea while we were waiting to be collected at the end of prison break

[HopalongCasidy]

5 hours ago, ForcefulMars459 said:

I jumped onto an on-call Doomsday Heist - it was ACT III Finale with a level 199 random.

 

I thought - this will be great, we'll get it done, contribute to the $100B, and I didn't care about the 15% cut I was offered.

 

Everything was good and smooth, until the very end, when the "CEO has left the mission" message appears and I am back in free roam. No big deal I think, as people have lives outside of GTA...only to get shot by the host who then flees to his house.

 

I get a mission pop-up notification....same guy restarts the ACT III Finale and is looking for another victim to troll.

This guy should be pilloried, and rotten fruit handed out. 

[Halal Cyborg]

58 minutes ago, Standard Deluxe 59 said:

I didn't even know there was a daily take. Maybe because I never do silent and sneaky it doesn't appear?

With cash or artwork In silent and sneaky I’ve always been able to hit the elite challenge and grab the take I can do the elite with gold but there’s not time for the daily vault and the elite due to slow movement on way out...one opens the door and other goes in then one of you clears downstairs...on big con there’s not really a way to do it and hit the elite challenge though and on aggressive it’s possible but I don’t really do it as it’s crap money wise due to time in vault and being shot.

Edited November 18, 2020 by Halal Cyborg

[Rotorhead359]

5 hours ago, TheGasmeter said:

Infuriating is right. Especially those who say in the pre lobby that they know what they are doing, until they get in and mess it up at the very beginning. Just carried 2 randomers on the Bugstar big con. It usually goes the same way too, they don't listen the first time. Sort of listen the second time. Listen a bit more the third time, then the forth time, you literally have to tell them as well as show them where to run and when.

With randoms, using Bugstars instead of Gruppe6 on Big Con is a good indicator they don't know what they are doing. I did bugstars exactly once, as crew, with friends, just so we all got the outfits. We prepped expensive and executed it aggressively (yes, we know, it can be stealthed but it took too long), we didn't mind the lower take.

 

2 hours ago, MikeyDLuffy said:

Watched the Buzzard land in the sea while we were waiting to be collected at the end of prison break

Oh no.

Anyway, press escape and confirm to leave. I bet that pilot didn't kill a single jet or prison guard during the whole heist.

At that point, anyone who dies may be a troll or so bad you wouldn't want to restart the whole heist. And it is very easy to stage fake parachuting accidents.

Edited November 18, 2020 by AirWolf359

[Standard Deluxe 59]

2 hours ago, Acky. said:

I’m sure you can get it regardless of approach - someone stands in the security room opening the door with the button and someone just loots the mini vault.

Where is this room? The one by the man trap or the one by the staff entrance?

1 hour ago, Halal Cyborg said:

With cash or artwork In silent and sneaky I’ve always been able to hit the elite challenge and grab the take I can do the elite with gold but there’s not time for the daily vault and the elite due to slow movement on way out...one opens the door and other goes in then one of you clears downstairs...on big con there’s not really a way to do it and hit the elite challenge though and on aggressive it’s possible but I don’t really do it as it’s crap money wise due to time in vault and being shot.

I've never even hit an elite challenge on any of the heists, I don't think I've done the criminal mastermind challenge either. Regardless if I remember I'll look for the mini vault since I'm not concerned about hitting any challenges and I always go back and forth between big con and aggressive.

[Piro]

4 minutes ago, Standard Deluxe 59 said:

Where is this room? The one by the man trap or the one by the staff entrance?

Its this door: (6:47)

 

[partci]

Heist Prep - ready for delivery:

[Acky.]

I came across a player with the gamertag of PROUGAUMER09 yesterday. Joined his heist lobby randomly, accepted the 15% cut, we did the Big Con with an artwork heist and managed to complete the Elite Challenge. Probably the best, quickest AND easiest heist I’ve ever done, not even going to lie.

[Zak Ras]

Stop me if you've seen this on The Prison Break, this was a f*cking first for me after nearly 6 years since Heists release...

 

Me, On Call, Level 730 Random - Pilot (Best flyer in the team, cool)

Host, Level 89 - Prisoner Officer

Random 1, Lvl 4 - Prisoner

Random 2, Lvl 124 - Demolition

 

Level 4 joins lobby after me, I try to message the host to kick him in favour of getting a more experienced player, but Lvl 124 joins and Host insta-launches before I can type my message... so I change the message to; "I'll be beyond impressed if we do this with a Level 4", to which Host messages back "Same, lmao". Internally I'm like; you gave him the go ahead you friggin lunatic. Anyway I'm the Pilot so I head off on my Shotaro, a trick I like to employ is to fly in a circle befre passing over the Vinewood sign, until I have about 30 seconds left, just so I'm not having to worry about tailing the jet and not putting the pressure on the prison team who get informed when they start to spawn in.

 

Officer & Prisoner aren't in the same car... good start... wait... Prisoner is riding shotgun with Demolition? Wondeful, questions 8 & 9 out of 45 I self-ask about random teammates, the pair of them don't know... but hey, Demolition is heading towards his Bus, I'm sure Prisoner will grab a random car once Demolition heads off on his own... Demolition is travelling faster than usual and still has Prisoner as a passenger... Demoilition is heading straight for the Prison Team Prison Bus... well... OK, after all, Demo has a little while before the genuine Bus reaches the Prison... and then it happened...

 

Spoiler

 

Blue Co-Op Different Team Player Dot on the radar... with the number 3 inside it.

 

Demolition, actually got in the Prison Team's Bus AND Officer happily drove towards the prison. Now of course... Rockstar haven't programmed a procedure for what happens if the Prison Bus arrives with someone in it who shouldn't be in it... because how could 3 people all be so stupid to each, not have done at least ONE of the following;

- read the finale text briefing

- listened to the cutscene

- read their personal objectives on the finale board

- listened to the mission dialogue on the way to their objective

- read the mission objective that's at the bottom of their screen at all times and colour codes the relevant objects on the radar

 

So long as the bus has Officer & Prisoner in it, it's fine. So now, Demolition actually got driven into the friggin Prison with the Ground Team... and has still not stolen and destroyed the real bus, while I'm still circling in front of the Vinewood sign. Eventually, after about 3 minutes of God-Only-Know's-What going on inside the Prison, the real bus arrives and the mission fails. Restart from checkpoint, Demolition leaves.

 

 

Edited November 20, 2020 by Cash 4 Clickbait

[GOKI JET]

My friend and I finished all the preparations at the invite only session and were about to play the Diamond Casino Heist Finale at The Big Con approach.

But when we walked out after the cutscene, Stockade wasn't there. A green Baller was waiting for us.
And all my friends couldn't control the characters, so I ended this finale by killing them.

 

This is a tale of failure, but for me it was the funniest episode of Diamond Casino Heist I've ever played.

[God-eater]

So I've returned to Los Santos to get my eye back in before the December update. I decided to try something new and do DCH runs on call with randoms. I have some observations I'd like to share.

 

If you go Silent & Sneaky and don't do the Duggan Shipments, you are taking a possibly unnecessary risk.

 

If you go Aggressive and don't do Duggan Shipments, you are an absolute f*cking moron. 

 

If you go Aggressive and don't do Duggan Shipments, AND cheap out on the weapons, you should be put up against a wall and shot and any descendants you have should be rounded up and sterilized for the sake of the gene pool. Seriously, how the f*ck did you think this was gonna go, you total waste of your father's sperm?

 

While I'm in rant mode, I have to say that in two decades of online gaming I have never seen a playerbase so abysmally incompetent as I do in GTA Online. Never mind the general toxicity, which to be fair is not that much worse than any other online game, but the sheer f*ckupery I encounter on a continual basis is truly astonishing. Basic directions, teamwork, communication, learning from mistakes, hell, even taking cover seem to be utterly alien concepts.

 

Then there's the insane "rush rush gotta be first gotta do ALL THE THINGS" mentality that so often results in delays and failure. How many if you have seen a Casino run failed because everyone is literally stumbling all over each other to whack the guard, swipe the keycard, zap the camera? Or the cartoonish Abbott & Costello moment in the elevator where everyone tries to charge out the door at the same time? And once they're jammed up and it's obvious that someone is going to have to back up, no one does - they just keeping pushing forward as hard as they can.

 

Look, I could go on and on (and on), but for the sake of fostering discussion and debate I'll pose a question, for which I'll need the assistance of the late Mr Sam Kinison. Please read my question with his voice in mind.

 

My question is, to put it simply, what the f*ck is wrong with you people? Why do you hate success and money so much? Why must you fail at every single thing you do? HOW DOES A CREATURE AS TERMINALLY STUPID AS YOU EVEN SURVIVE BREAKFAST EACH DAY?!? AAAAAUUUGH! AAAAAAAAAUUUUGH!

 

 

Please, by all means, discuss.

[DuhBritishTea]

Another day, another noob that doesn't know how to hack fingerprints.

 

Wasting 3:25 on 1 fingerprint is actually kinda impressive in a bad way.

Edited November 20, 2020 by DuhBritishTea

[partci]

1 hour ago, DuhBritishTea said:

Another day, another noob that doesn't know how to hack fingerprints.

 

Wasting 3:25 on 1 fingerprint is actually kinda impressive in a bad way.

I've had a guy that was dealing with the Fleeca finale puzzle seemingly forever. I forgot what I was doing. Went to my bunker to see if it needs resupplying. Was not allowed in it (this should work in Heists for cases like this one). Went back to the bank and the guy was still hacking.

 

HOW?

[God-eater]

1 hour ago, partci said:

I've had a guy that was dealing with the Fleeca finale puzzle seemingly forever. I forgot what I was doing. Went to my bunker to see if it needs resupplying. Was not allowed in it (this should work in Heists for cases like this one). Went back to the bank and the guy was still hacking.

 

HOW?

I have a rule with Fleeca: once I pull up outside the bank, I put my controller down and don't touch it till the hack is done. If the controller shuts off due to idling (about 5 mins or so), I switch it back on and put the Kuruma into the ocean. I made this rule after sitting outside the bank for about 20 mins a while back (then another 10 while the host failed to drill and ultimately quit in frustration). If you can't get the hack done in less than 10 minutes then you may want to get checked out for a learning disability.

 

I kind of hate The Fleeca Job - pays so little & takes so long (unnecessarily, to boot) that you're basically doing the host a favour by going along; and they still try to cut your pay and shoot you in the back as soon as you walk out of Tequi-la-la.