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Heist failure stories


Liquid_Snake_LosSantos

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devildante11

Most annoying Is the mission where you've got to deliver the emp without being spotted especially with randoms who think it's a great Idea to go in guns blazing. Also Prison Heist can do one, nothing more annoying than one of the dumb asses casually walking into the rotor on the plane causing the mission to fail.

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Del Perro Dog

Humane Lab Raid - Deliver EMP.

 

I'll be hearing those f*cking security breach sirens in my sleep.

Took me only 5 shots, then again my crew was coordinated in a party

 

My biggest f*ck up thought was at the end of Prison Break, after about 2 days of trying to do it, face planting into the beach because I forgot to pull-up. My crew is good though and just did the mission again and aced it.

Edited by Del Perro Dog
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HirsuteDave

The Prison Break seems to be a ride hard bastard doesn't it...

 

I was piloting the Velum like a boss, dodging missiles all day, got the word that the ground team were out of the prison and on the way so I made my way back to the ground. The plane was pointed in the right direction with the doors open and ready to go, the armoured van was rolling down the runway towards me and then bits of police helicopter kicked my arse...

 

Take two.

 

I stayed in the hanger a little longer this time (less jets to worry about that way) and we had no trouble whatsoever until the the ground team arrived on the runway. No heli debris to worry about this time, but as I powered up and lifted up the nose, a NOOSE SUV came out of nowhere and rammed straight into the wing :miranda:

 

Humane Labs is so much easier....

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On the EMP mission with the hydra I was with 3 random people, two were ok but one lvl 21 was f*cking stupid.

At first me and one other got to the boat, waiting for the others. The dude plays around and beach the boat, I then run to my car drove to push the boat only to see that he tried to move it with a grenade, he blew it up. We did the first floor part around 5 times because the noob kept dying and a few more because he went to the wrong room on the left and died. When we got to the planes he died twice. But that was just the start, I guess he wanted to fly the hydra because he died around 5 times until we would let him fly it. On the first attempt he crashes while hovering, second attempt tries to fight lazers and gets shot down, third attempt he crashes it on a mountain close to the finish. After that someone took the hydra instead and we thought its going to be over, then some guy decided to block my flight route with his lazer, I try to avoid him and crash into a mountain. Overall I'm not joking I spent around 1-2 hours on this mission with 15+ attempts. But I got the Hydra so its all the past now. :D

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The Leprechaun

How do you swim? How do you turn off the lights? Should I parachute into the cliff? Probably the least informed player I've played with, and then he DC'ed.

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smokingndriving

The worst moment that I had was getting to the pool at the Humane Labs raid and I didn't get a flare and had no clue how to get to the exit pipe in the dark. Ran out of rebreather. Completely a moronic moment. Watched a video of it, realized what I'd did wrong and tried again. When I tried again, I got to the pipe just perfectly and then realized that the other member of the ground crew was having difficulty trying to figure out how to get down to the pipe. Thankfully he eventually did.

 

The Deliver EMP set-up really, really requires a solid group of people because it's initially so frustrating that you're going to get people leaving. Once it "clicks", you can get through it without too much difficulty, but it's the initial figuring it out that results in so many fails and frustration.

 

Great thread, BTW.

Edited by smokingndriving
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Decided to host fleeca heist. Setup no problem. Started main heist. Left apartment. Mission failed.

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Here's just a few from my big book of inexcusable heist debauchicals and nonsensicals.

 

Prison Break Heist: The designated plane pilot (a rank 134, believe it or not) arrives to the runway in flames, we manage to get in the air with careful direction and lose the cops, make our way to the yellow ring of glory and parachute. Three of us are on the ground already, the pilot somehow manages to come in too fast and splatter to death in mission failure fashion, I mean, how, HOW DO YOU F*** THAT UP!?

 

Humane Labs, steal Insurgents: My chosen random accomplices engage in all sorts of lunacy that would make Porky Pig and Bugs Bunny clap; crashing the Insurgents like a one-armed drunkard behind the wheel, flipping them over during the chase, dive bombing kamikaze style into the Quarry with Zentorno's as if they had mild, grandiose delusions of immortality.

 

Fleeca Job: I know what you were all thinking; this is the first heist, essentially a tutorial, gonna be a walk in Mirror Park, but no, my first random ally was on crowd control, and somehow always managed to either kill a hostage or let them touch the alarm. You had ONE SIMPLE JOB, intimidate these people if you have to, but don't SHOOT them!

 

And on another note; a word of cautious, cliche advice to all my fellow PS3 heist team leaders; if you complete a heist with one or two randoms and regroup in the same public or private session. Keep your guard up and DO NOT TRUST THEM. We had an accomplice from the IGN Crew kill one of us just after doing the Prison Break Heist together, if there was ever any justification for the existence of bad sport lobbies...

Edited by TM1138
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Pacific Standard Finale:

 

Random joins

 

Everything smooth as anything!

 

Parachuting to boat with 1.21 MIL

 

Suddenly, random's mom starts to yell at him. So he's standing in game on the bank feet before the boat and EVERYONE is screaming at him to get in and finish. He sits there 3 MINUTES saying sorry and not listening to what we are saying and pleading all the while he's talking to his mom.

 

Leaves.

 

 

I will never forget that.

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the nameless

So, on my 4,000,000th attempt at joining a breakout heist we had a level 12 pilot. Guess where he ended up? When he picked us up he landed in shrubbery, wouldn't taxi the plane to us, wouldn't rudder the plane to avoid a big rock - instead he took off just before it at a ridiculously slow speed and kept the landing gear down. After many passes by the marker (below it) he put it in the drink.

 

I am destined to never get past this damn heist.

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StrangerMcDanger

Pacific Standard Finale:

 

Random joins

 

Everything smooth as anything!

 

Parachuting to boat with 1.21 MIL

 

Suddenly, random's mom starts to yell at him. So he's standing in game on the bank feet before the boat and EVERYONE is screaming at him to get in and finish. He sits there 3 MINUTES saying sorry and not listening to what we are saying and pleading all the while he's talking to his mom.

 

Leaves.

 

 

I will never forget that.

Ouch

 

I managed to grind my way through all the heists as team leader with packs of idiot randoms, probably raised my blood pressure a few points.

 

Some of my favorites:

Pilot cant find the yellow ring in prison break finale, trys to land in the water, several times.

The gunner jumps out of the helicopter during the humane labs raid, does this several times before i get sick of it and rm, love that long ass drive.

Hackers taking more than 30 seconds in any of the hacks. I mean really? That sh*ts soooo basic.

Pacific standard finale, crowd control thinks control means murder, demolitionist thinks hes above touching the filthy money in the vault. When we're leaving the bank I armor up and stuff my face, equip my combatMG, edge up to the door, look back my team is at the ready, I combat roll out the door and starting clearing a path thinking my team has my back, guess they got cold feet, all 3 stayed in the bank... for several minutesI still dont know why. Trying to get away on the piece of sh*t bikes, they all die 5657372829 times, seeing my profits cut in half i decide to rm and say f*ck these fools. I leave and lester calls me saying ive completed all the heists. So yeah im out of the startup, payout and bonuses for beating all the heists in order, first time, and w/e else there is. Lester better cross the streets when he sees me coming until he pays what he owes.

 

Ive retired from heist leader and now join random heist finales to try to snake the payouts. Sometimes ill join setups if someone needs a hand or I like the mission.

 

Despite all the fails and annoyances heists are pretty damn fun. Id like to find a solid crew and redo them getting some of the harder achievements.

Edited by StrangerMcDanger
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Sir Michael

I was doing the Prison Heist as demolition for the first time (I'm usually the pilot). I knew they had to blow up the bus at some point, so my dumbass throws a sticky bomb at the bus before getting to Sandy Shores. Whoops. (;

Edited by Sir Michael
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How the f*ck do you kill yourself after we kill all of the Vagos at the airfield?

You get hit by traffic after swinging at your team mates as some genius did instead of spectating patiently.

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da_illest101

People that always goes Rambo and end up gunned down.

 

The guy flying the hydra crashed into me while I was in a jet

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I was doing the Prison Heist as demolition for the first time (I'm usually the pilot). I knew they had to blow up the bus at some point, so my dumbass throws a sticky bomb at the bus before getting to Sandy Shores. Whoops. (;

Did this myself twice first time mission didn't fail, it just sent me to the buzzard. I thought the timer was for someone else......

I was doing the Prison Heist as demolition for the first time (I'm usually the pilot). I knew they had to blow up the bus at some point, so my dumbass throws a sticky bomb at the bus before getting to Sandy Shores. Whoops. (;

Did this myself twice, first time mission didn't fail it just sent me to the buzzard. I thought the timer was for someone else......

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street_names

I am attempting the aircraft carrier setup; I have the Hydra and the three randoms take off in jets.

 

The randoms start circling each other and they coordinate to all run into each other at the same time.

 

Really!?

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shobhitlion

On prison break finale when u have to jump out o velum nd land on beach one random kid died while landing and we failed . I would serve him to Suarez.

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smokingndriving

I am attempting the aircraft carrier setup; I have the Hydra and the three randoms take off in jets.

 

The randoms start circling each other and they coordinate to all run into each other at the same time.

 

Really!?

 

Here's a great one:

 

All four people are on the lower level of the aircraft carrier and one runs off - I didn't see where he went - and manages to get the Hydra. The other three of us have no clue where to go or what do to and I have some glitch that's causing me to have no audio so I can't hear WTF is going on. So literally the three of us are running around the lower level of the ship from one side to the other trying to figure things out like the Three F'in Stooges.

 

The person in the Hydra manages to handle things and eventually me and another player go back to the boat and head North leaving another player on the aircraft carrier. He eventually figures out some method of transit. The person lands the Hydra and the mission is done before we even get to the shore, but it was just a hilarious mess.

Edited by smokingndriving
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Pacific Standard Finale:

 

Random joins

 

Everything smooth as anything!

 

Parachuting to boat with 1.21 MIL

 

Suddenly, random's mom starts to yell at him. So he's standing in game on the bank feet before the boat and EVERYONE is screaming at him to get in and finish. He sits there 3 MINUTES saying sorry and not listening to what we are saying and pleading all the while he's talking to his mom.

 

Leaves.

 

 

I will never forget that.

Ouch

 

I managed to grind my way through all the heists as team leader with packs of idiot randoms, probably raised my blood pressure a few points.

 

Some of my favorites:

Pilot cant find the yellow ring in prison break finale, trys to land in the water, several times.

The gunner jumps out of the helicopter during the humane labs raid, does this several times before i get sick of it and rm, love that long ass drive.

Hackers taking more than 30 seconds in any of the hacks. I mean really? That sh*ts soooo basic.

Pacific standard finale, crowd control thinks control means murder, demolitionist thinks hes above touching the filthy money in the vault. When we're leaving the bank I armor up and stuff my face, equip my combatMG, edge up to the door, look back my team is at the ready, I combat roll out the door and starting clearing a path thinking my team has my back, guess they got cold feet, all 3 stayed in the bank... for several minutesI still dont know why. Trying to get away on the piece of sh*t bikes, they all die 5657372829 times, seeing my profits cut in half i decide to rm and say f*ck these fools. I leave and lester calls me saying ive completed all the heists. So yeah im out of the startup, payout and bonuses for beating all the heists in order, first time, and w/e else there is. Lester better cross the streets when he sees me coming until he pays what he owes.

 

Ive retired from heist leader and now join random heist finales to try to snake the payouts. Sometimes ill join setups if someone needs a hand or I like the mission.

 

Despite all the fails and annoyances heists are pretty damn fun. Id like to find a solid crew and redo them getting some of the harder achievements.

 

If you get that bug, and complete the final heist with a differen host you still get the all in order completion bonus (provided you didn't play anything else in between)

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da_illest101

Committed suicide

Died

Before even reaching the first Check point.

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LivingDynamo

I remember I was hosting the Humane Labs Raid, and I kept getting this one idiot who didn't understand how the game worked. He was assigned as pilot a few times (I didn't remember who it was on the second time) and thought that we had to land in the labs rather than fly over it.

 

I kept messaging him, telling him to go up, and he replied in english, so he understood what I was saying, but it was just constantly fly low over labs, move to the side because of the countdown, fly back over. Eventually I jumped out and shot him with the minigun, and tried with new people, who aced it.

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There were a bunch of failures on The Prison Break because the Pilot got shot down by Lazers.

Flying the Velum is tough against an armed attacker, especially if your ground team keeps crying for back up from the demo's Buzzard. That said, I only directly caused two failures in 15 attempts of the Prison Break: In the very first attempt while in evasive maneuvers I wasn't keeping a great eye on the attacking Lazer and we both ended up colliding mid-air. The second was during the 15th attempt after more than hour of trying, late at night, I dozed off and crashed while flying to Sandy Shores. I had told the leader I was gonna have leave soon, after that embarrassment I basically told him/her "Later!" and quit for the night.

Edited by LahTigre
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Turkish Turketarian

I have way too many but here's a couple that pissed me off the most. The mission where you steal the Hydra, I was flying it and landed it at the airfield. As I'm pulling into the hangar, I hear an explosion. Dumbass random in a Lazer somehow crashed and killed himself.

 

At the end of the Prison Break finale, one idiot smashes into rocks when we had to parachute. Instant death.

 

The setup mission where you have to steal the big truck in the convoy and there's a savage, after the Savage is down, random guy on the mic goes "don't shoot RPGs". Next thing you know, a rocket goes flying right towards the truck and blows it to bits.

 

Setup mission where you steal the weed, dumb low rank idiot gets in one of the big trucks. Appearantly he has no idea these things have breaks. He repeatedly swerves off the road, into the lake. Every. Single. Time. Wtf is wrong with people? :sui:

Edited by CP27
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There were a bunch of failures on The Prison Break because the Pilot got shot down by Lazers.

Flying the Velum is tough against an armed attacker, especially if your ground team keeps crying for back up from the demo's Buzzard. That said, I only directly caused two failures in 15 attempts of the Prison Break: In the very first attempt while in evasive maneuvers I wasn't keeping a great eye on the attacking Lazer and we both ended up colliding mid-air. The second was during the 15th attempt after more than hour of trying, late at night, I dozed off and crashed while flying to Sandy Shores. I had told the leader I was gonna have leave soon, after that embarrassment I basically told him/her "Later!" and quit for the night.

As the pilot, you can get behind and then stay behind the 1st jet. This will allow the buzzard pilot to focus on the prison. Once the prisoner is in the armored car, the jet falls out of the sky.

 

Buzzard pilot loiters at the southwest corner of the prison, careful to keep your distance- out of range of the prison's anti-air.

 

Easy peasy

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Finalé of prison break, 4th attempt (this session at least), all done, I'm in Buzzard hovering high over the beach to pick up the others, Velum pilot flies right into me. Wipeout. :\ I mean you have the whole universe to fly that f-ing plane in and you hit me, stationary hundreds of feet in the air, terrible flying or intentional? I'm not sure...

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Metal Slime

Prison Heist finale - Pilot: "Durr me will fly towards teh wind turbine." *dies*

 

Humane Lab Raid Deliver EMP - Random Rambo: "How am I suppose to know an explosion would alert them?!"

 

How did these people get so far in life?

Edited by Zonnex
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EEDDDWWWAARRRD

Demolition during Prison Break. Kept destroying the bus without taking it to Sandy Shores. Didn't fail the first time we did this, but it continually did later on, way late into the heist too.

After about 5 failures, I finally decided to listen to the guy telling me what to do and realized I'm a dumbass :D

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Wait till you get to the Vans - Pacific Standard Heist.

Every moron thinks they drive!!! Can people read? It is sad how bad most players are.

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