Heist failure stories

[yatesypr2]

Got to the end of the prison break, just about getting in the velum and the driver hadn't opened the door, so he opened it just as someone was about to open it themselves and the door killed them!

[HirsuteDave]

Picking up the Insurgents is pretty straightforward isn't it?

 

Not when some dumbass launches his Zentorno into the middle of the Merryweather goons and dies almost immediately. Restart and exactly the same thing happens. Take three and I do the same thing in my Kuruma, kill 90% of the goons and jump into the gunners seat of the armed version.... only to see the three tards I've been lumped with all jump in the UNARMED version and race off leaving me without a driver (or a gunner once I switched seats) and them with no reasonable method of killing the Buzzards chasing them.

 

Take four and everyone piles into the armed version and take off (including me because I was the closest to it), leaving the one we actually need behind. Zentorno idiot dies again.

 

Fifth attempt and I take the wheel of the armed one, someone actually remembers to get in the unarmed version and we successfully deliver both to the destination.

 

I got an invite to the EMP mission and thought it couldn't possibly be as bad - until I noticed the same idiot who kept dying on the last mission decided to wear a light combat suit while the rest of us were in heavy combat gear. Not surprisingly, he died twice before we manage to get to the flight deck and quit.

[*Lola]

A player was trying to blow up the Insurgent coming out of the Humane Labs setup. Fail

The level of stupidity there made me laugh, then leave.

A stealth mission using explosives.LOL

Edited April 11, 2015 by *Lola

[the nameless]

Some people's thought processes are genuinely concerning. I'm going for the all in order 1 million dollar bonus, humane labs finale has been the worst so far, every time it was the pilot - 3 different pilots couldn't get high enough and eventually quit.

 

Today I did series a - coke, I was part of the boat team, my "partner" got to the boat, pissed off without me and went all john matrix from commando and tried to storm the boat himself - he was level 260.

 

I got to the end of "trash truck" only for the driver to get stuck on a pile of rubble right in front of the warehouse. I went up the hill to get a car to ram it, and got back just in time to see another guy try to dislodge it with an explosion. Mission failed, someone quits.

[XxXxXxKiLLa]

Doing second set-up for series A funding and some fa**ot decides to run away down the alleyways while he has a trashbag.

Truck driver decides to go after him and kills him by running him over. Mission fail. fa**ot then plugs in his mic and all I can hear is him laughing his head off.

[Whisky Tango Foxtrot]

A player was trying to blow up the Insurgent coming out of the Humane Labs setup. Fail

The level of stupidity there made me laugh, then leave.

A stealth mission using explosives.LOL

Should have used this the moron

 

[*Lola]

 

A player was trying to blow up the Insurgent coming out of the Humane Labs setup. Fail

The level of stupidity there made me laugh, then leave.

A stealth mission using explosives.LOL

Should have used this the moron

 

 

LOL

[jobnocky71]

Ugh, had a new one tonight. Prison break finale and I'm demolition. Just blew up the bus and I'm driving the red Mesa to the buzzard. When BOOM the Mesa explodes. wtf. So now I'm just as far from the other red Mesa as I am from the buzzard, so I decide to just run to the heli. I run about 5 steps when I'm blown up again. We fail. Still not 100% sure what happened. The velum pilot was flying VERY low and circling the airfield. So my best guess is the lazer was so low trying to follow him, it was able to shoot missiles at me (or was shooting them at him and I just happened to be where they were hitting) either way, it was a new one for me.

probably a mine field!! lol

[Locce]

Most of my recent failure stories are pretty standard fare, especially considering that I often do heists with low-levels who are noticeably more fragile than my tanky self. Just a few things stuck out:

 

Humane Labs - Finale:

I am part of the ground team. The other ground team member has just got his auto-shotgun and can hardly stop laughing. I can sympathise and most of our enemies end as auto-shotgunned smears on the lab walls. Everything goes smoothly (or messily depending on the point of view) until the diving part. I dive in and slowly stard to descend waiting for my teammate to catch up... but he does not. Instead he complains about everything being dark and not knowing where to go. It turns out that he did not know the first thing about diving. Literally. So I explained to him how to dive down and led him to the tunnel entrance, and already I could see that something was not as it should be: there was no magnesium torch on his back. No wonder everything was dark for him. But even worse was that he was given only one rebreather which is by far not enough to make the whole dive.

We actually had to start the mission over to fix this problem. Ah, well, at least we got to auto-shotgun more guys that way.

 

Series A - Weed:

This mission is a perfect example of how bad my co-criminals are at driving. I was a lookout for this one and had foolishly decided to use my Hakouchu... only to wait for roughly 5 minutes at my spot before the other driver could reach his. (Usually I offset their driving by choosing something like an Insurgent when they use sportier cars like the Zentorno.) The shootout at the sawmill goes swimmingly, then I get into the Technical and pick up the other lookout as my gunner. We drive a bit ahead of the trucks, had just cleared the first roadblock and are on the way to the second one when suddenly two trucks come barreling down the hill just before us. Both drivers had apparently been too fast on the mountain road above, then the second driver rammed the first driver during a sharp turn... well, only one of the tumbling trucks stayed dry, the other one made it all the way to the sea.

 

Pacific Standard - Signal:

This setup mission went quite normal for the most part. One of our guys came in with Avi by boat, I had organised a nice ride for the last part of the trip and unfortunately three of us still had lots of police on our tails. So I parked the stolen car on the beach, the fourth guy beaches his boat and speeds off with Avi in the car. The rest of us stay on the beach fighting off the police. We take cover behind the boat. The beached boat. We were just realising that we should not do that - mainly because I had reminded them just 3 minutes earlier that we have to be careful with beached boats - when the boat exploded. It was embarassing and hilarious at the same time.

[GR Choke]

My latest 1

 

Fired an RPG as someone walked in the way

 

I died

[DoubleDropUk]

PRISON BREAK.

 

Made it to sandy shores in the armoured car, got out and the police chopper demo shot down landed on me and killed me before i even knew what was happening.

 

FAIL.

 

 

Funny as hell though, there was no way not to laugh...

[johndivney]

Coke

 

In that shed/whatever where you drop off & meet Ron (& make the stand in the stand in the finale), I parked my getaway car beside one of the oil drums.

I thought, hey I'll dispose of the evidence.. Well no, I thought, ok let's see what happens. & I blew up my car.

I alerted the police of course.

Being the only one there I had to run away, given I had no vehicle & my teammates hadn't arrived.

 

The mission didn't fail & I still managed to make it back before the final guy arrived, but lesson learned.

 

I'd blew up the oil drums for fun before, but they didn't alert the cops. It was the car exploding that done it. My team didn't see the funny side.

[DoubleDropUk]

^ Humane labs final? I f**ked that setup mission the first time I did it too. Can't remember exact wording but on my screen it told me to infiltrate the Humane labs or something to that effect. I didnt realise initially I had to wait for the chopper to hit the corona and then set off the EMP. I jumped well and truly before I was supposed to and straight away it told me to get back in the Valkyrie. I knew then that I had done f**ked up.

 

First time I did this heist I was gunner, (my friend sat next to me with a 2nd ps3 was pilot). I accidentally hit triangle and jumped out, landed inside the lab grounds and had to do a 'tactical extraction' whilst battling merryweather. We made it back in the air and completed the mission without the ground team even knowing what had happened. NEVER has that heist been that exciting since.

 

PS this wasnt a FAIL I know but still IMO a good story.

[johndivney]

All 3 of my teammates ran AWAY from hacking on deliver emp.

 

I would call them assholes, except I ran away first!

 

Eventually I did it, & did it really quickly too. It's just... The attitudes of some people, yknow?! I didn't even get platinum for the mission ffs! Despite sitting outside humane waiting for the guys to go get the insurgent & pick me up..

[PkUnzipper]

Prison Getaway prep, stealing the plane. Getting in the plane, gunner climbs the roof of plane, stumbles, falls headfirst in the propeller.

I'm not even going to ask why this heist member felt the burning need to TOUCH the plane let alone climb up onto the roof in the first place??

 

My epic fail in the same mission was doing the mission after I realized the heist leader had zero flying skill (1st skill bar wasn't even halfway full). Then made himself the pilot. You'd think he had the common sense to wait until the rest of his team cleared the area of the 2 predictable cargos waves that show up. He finally figured this out on try #2

 

Then me and the other heist members watched in disbelief as the pilot finally discovered what we already knew.

 

That he had absolutely NO CLUE how to turn the rudder to make that left turn out the hanger--let alone lift off the plane to fly it back to LSIA. smh

[X S]

 

[viperdk]

I was working on one of the setups for the prison breakup, me and a random had to recover the car off the ship. Tried going in stealth mode, but the moron working with me kept going in loud as can be. I even told him over the mic, we should snip everyone, it'll be easier, but he didn't listen to me. He caused us to fail the mission at least 5 times, including getting me killed twice when I tried covering his ass when he got caught in cross fire.

 

Had enough and left the heist.Soon as I was back in free roam, I called Lester and put a hit on him. lol

[Suika]

A player was trying to blow up the Insurgent coming out of the Humane Labs setup. Fail

The level of stupidity there made me laugh, then leave.

A stealth mission using explosives.LOL

Played recently in same Humane Labs setup mission with some randoms. One guy constantly, *every* time after restart, grabs our Insurgent and rush with it to yellow marker, right into bunch of red dots. Mission failed, crew is crazy.

[Giantsgiants]

 

Damn, that sucks.

 

When I was doing my CM run, I was more afraid of dying from falling than dying from enemies. Characters just don't seem to want to go down ladders.

[Virus..]

 

this happened to me...havent tried the challange but if i do, i will remember this. Lol rockstar needs to have a press a button to go down or something because thats bs.

[saintsrow]

Did Prison Break Finale with some randoms and we were doing great, first try. Just had one guy die in the prison gunfight, so we only had one death left, but everybody got out.

 

I flew the plane to the drop point, we jumped out, parachutes coming down, almost done, right at the end, nothing hard left to do. We had it made. About 100 feet from the ground, one guy accidentally releases himself from his chute and falls to his death, MISSION FAIL. AAAAGGGGGHHHHH

 

I've done that before with parachutes, but it wasn't me this time We tried 4 more times unsuccessfully, until somebody bailed.

 

 

PS: One of those later failures was me - I found out that if I follow the jet around in my Velum, he can never lock missiles on to me, so I thought, this is easy, I'm just gonna follow this guy around until the jet gets called off.

 

Well...turns out the Vellum flies faster than the jet. Logic, right??? So I had to keep backing off so I would not collide with the back end of the jet. But I took my eye off the ball for a second, and tapped the f*cking jet - KABOOMM. Dammit.

Edited April 15, 2015 by saintsrow

[middevonclown]

 

Well...turns out the Vellum flies faster than the jet. Logic, right??? So I had to keep backing off so I would not collide with the back end of the jet.

 

I find putting the wheels down slows the Velum enough to keep a good pace.

[saintsrow]

 

 

Well...turns out the Vellum flies faster than the jet. Logic, right??? So I had to keep backing off so I would not collide with the back end of the jet.

 

I find putting the wheels down slows the Velum enough to keep a good pace.

 

Thanks, if I ever get in this situation again, I will give that a try. Physical logic says that wheels down should slow down the plane, but I figured that Rockstar logic would show no effect.

[The Rangler]

1) How can you not drive a boat by level 180?

More importantly

2) If you can't drive a boat why are you getting behind the wheel?

 

Pacific Standard, guy drives it over the shore on one side and luckily we got bounced back in to the river, only to end up going full speed right toward the other shore...

Edited April 15, 2015 by The Rangler

[scatlord]

I have tons of stories of randoms screwing up (seems most prevelant at the end of Prison Break - lots of crashing into cliffs). But my own fail on prison break was when it was my first time playing it and I was the pilot. I didn't know where I was supposed to fly the plane and none of my teammates spoke English so I assumed the plane could float and crashed it into the water.

 

Most recent fail of mine was on The Humane Labs raid finale as you are about to get on the Valkyrie. I'll let the webm I made explain http://a.pomf.se/orvnjk.webm

[middevonclown]

 

Most recent fail of mine was on The Humane Labs raid finale as you are about to get on the Valkyrie. I'll let the webm I made explain http://a.pomf.se/orvnjk.webm

 

At least you failed with some style.

[nosmoking000]

Criminal Mastermind Challenge: everything was going smooth as silk. We made it to the Series A Funding - Trash setup. I was the driver. When we went to pick up the 3rd set of trash bags, some Vagos came at us in their car. I pull out my RPG and have a clean shot at their car. Suddenly, one of my crew members comes running in front of me, right when I pull the trigger. Needless to say, the rocket didn't go very far. It hits my crew mate and blows me up. I died. F*ck! I felt like such a worthless piece of sh*t when that happened. I think my mouth dropped all the way to the floor.

 

Luckily, my crew was nice enough to say it was all good and that was a good practice round. We quickly, started up Fleeca to do it again and made it the second time around.

[Shadowfennekin]

Series A Finale, somebody dies once we hit the checkpoint...... an ass leaves. We would have started right where he died asshole!

 

 

Next try.... Humane Lab Deliver EMP- Once we start, somebody immediately blows himself up. Then blows himself up again. Then quits.....

[*Lola]

It's not a heist failure but a mission players failure that I thought was funny.

 

Daemon Run - Hard - Free Aim

 

A couple players joined me from auto invite and both got into the guys Insurgent with the gun on it. I stayed back thinking they didn't need me.

Seconds later, one guy died. The driver started honking at me to get on and be gunner. I refused and got in my car and drove around shooting, thinking he was going to run me over for not getting on. A minute later both of them died.LOL

One guy left and I finished the mission alone. The guy that stayed had zero kills. I don't think the other guy had any either.LOL

Edited April 15, 2015 by *Lola

[DemonSoulz]

On the Series A Trash Truck setup, me and some randoms were fighting the Vagos at the gas station. One guy was near the gas pumps and starts firing explosives and gets blown up.

 

Grenades + Pumps = BIG KABOOM!

 

Do the math.