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Liquid_Snake_LosSantos

Heist failure stories

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just do it bob3

Let's be honest, we are only here because of these guys...

 

Smh. GTA would be a better place without them.

 

 

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Liquid Snake 245

 

^^^ 2:09 too funny

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just do it bob3

2:47

 

A F*ck Fest of Epic Proportions.

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Sentinel Driver

I'll never get the discounts on doomsday vehicles. People rarely if ever join my heists and when they do they're dumbasses who can't comprehend even the simplest of game instructions and end up dying and ragequitting

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hei3enberg

I'll never get the discounts on doomsday vehicles. People rarely if ever join my heists and when they do they're dumbasses who can't comprehend even the simplest of game instructions and end up dying and ragequitting

Don't even wait for randoms, get some trusted mates or join a crew. The only thing randoms are good in is failing.

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Sentinel Driver

 

I'll never get the discounts on doomsday vehicles. People rarely if ever join my heists and when they do they're dumbasses who can't comprehend even the simplest of game instructions and end up dying and ragequitting

Don't even wait for randoms, get some trusted mates or join a crew. The only thing randoms are good in is failing.

 

Crew members never accept my invites. My friends are good at playing but they're a bit unrealiable. They won't respond to my messages or invites at all

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SirHedge

I was trying to steal the barrage for Act3 with my friend. We did shoot down the cargobob so the barrage landed near us. We went there and while my friend continued to shoot down the helicopters I tried to get the barrage aaaand before I got there one destroyed heli shell hit me and killed me instantly. It was hilarious we laughed so much.

Edited by SirHedge

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Deadman2112

There have been a lot of them over the years but a few really stand out.

 

here's the breakdown

 

Prison Break set to hard.

 

Three guys very low level.

 

They make me the pilot in spite of the fact that I'm level 310 at the time with tons of extra armor and extra guns that I can drop on the ground and give to the prisoner before we go in.

 

I have to give them props. even in spite of their levels the two guys on the ground made it through the prison on the first try, however the guy playing demolitions was complete garbage.

 

Fortunately I know a very simple way to avoid the Jets so everything kept rolling until they tried to get in the plane whe the guy playing demolitions somehow managed to destroy the plane by crashing into it he then send the message to all of us saying I'm sorry I was trying to get in the plane with you guys.

 

I get a good chuckle out of his message and in spite of my frustration I calmly explain to him that he is simply supposed to provide cover while they get into the plane.

 

round 2 he somehow manages to destroy a police Chopper above us that ultimately crashes into the plane and destroys it

 

round 3 he doesn't provide any cover at all and stays away I guess because he was tired of being the reason why we failed and one of the other guys getting into the plane dies

 

Round 4 I land the plane directly in front of the prison, because I'm like there is not going to be around 5

 

...and and in spite of the big blue and white plane that was parked right in front of them that they had to end up driving around to get past...

these guys just drive right by me

 

I knew at that point it was time to throw in the towel

 

I often think back to that Heist and still shake my head in disbelief

Edited by Deadman2112

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RXRNathan

Story time!

 

Pacific Standard: Hack.

My role: Decoy

I boot up GTA, with me done with school for the weekend which can give me some time to play GTA.

 

I decide to press "Random Job" and just like what Rick Harrison says, "You never know who is gonna come through that door"

 

I wind up in the hack setup. The host is a level 52 by the name of "Viktor Sasha" (Who is a Russian player according to his gamertag)

We wait a good couple of minutes patiently for one more to join. A level 21 joins by the name of "JuniorCoban017", which concerns me considering of his level.

 

Host launches session.

Me, the level 21, and the unnamed level 124 are Decoys.

The level 21 decides he wants to be the Transporter.

Its all normal for the next 30 seconds, then this message pops up.

"The leader has left the heist setup."

I guess the host wanted to be Transporter, but when the level 21 decided to be transporter, i guess the host wasn't having it.

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Vitalize

How f*cking hard is it to LISTEN?????? I SAID stay down, use your combat mg f*cking dude kept ramboing and using the sh*tty shotgun they added in the LTS update. I died once. He died 16. The one f*cking time i die is from when i was taking them all on at once while the stupid f*cker was trying to find out how to hack.

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RXRNathan

How f*cking hard is it to LISTEN?????? I SAID stay down, use your combat mg f*cking dude kept ramboing and using the sh*tty shotgun they added in the LTS update. I died once. He died 16. The one f*cking time i die is from when i was taking them all on at once while the stupid f*cker was trying to find out how to hack.

What heist/setup were you doing? Pacific Standard?

 

Personally, whenever i do the setup 50% of the time is where the crew does the job correctly, and the other 50% is where they think there is no witnesses and shoots all of them for the N.O.O.S.E in PAYDAY 2 style.

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BLADE_San_Andreas

Once me,my brother and his friends were doing criminal mastermind and his friend crashed the velum in prison break...

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just do it bob3

Personally, whenever i do the setup 50% of the time is where the crew does the job correctly, and the other 50% is where they think there is no witnesses and shoots all of them for the N.O.O.S.E in PAYDAY 2 style.

I prefer getting the NOOSE on me. I can just spam RPG's down the alleyway and then steal a NOOSE van for an easy escape to the canyon without losing any money...

Edited by just do it bob1

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Sentinel Driver

Prison break - plane dumbass host/pilot crashes the plane when trying to land at LSIA

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Mrs. Buzz

Prison break - plane dumbass host/pilot crashes the plane when trying to land at LSIA

Poor groundteam and demolution - driving/flying the police-riot/Buzzard all the way down from prison to LSIA instead using Sandy Shores?

/s

 

Sucks seeing the plane crashing after they finally made it through the prison after x tries^^

 

Nevermind - thought it was final - forgot about that setup. Dumb me.

Edited by Mrs. Buzz

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Liyah Jade

Prison Break - I was trying to help out a few randoms and one person decided not to open their parachute on the last bit of the heist so we winded up having to start all over.

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just do it bob3

Prison Break - one person decided not to open their parachute on the last bit of the heist

What is it with ppl and their parachutes? Like this seems like an ongoing thing.

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chayter76

Pacific Standard finale, land chopper at boat in time for Elite Challenge bonus, last guy gets out walks into the rear rotor blades. The rage!!!

 

This has happened on a few occasions in the last couple of years!!

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Ice_cold2016

Pacific Standard final last night. The bit where you get to the bikes. All of us were high rank. Lowest was 368. Anyway, they couldn't find a chopper so some high ranked guy on the mic kept barking orders at us to take the bikes and find a vehicle claiming it was the best way. I know it isn't the best way but just rolled with it knowing it would end in failure. And sure enough someone died on a bike. He wanted to do the same again so i went with it again. We finally got a slow arsed armoured police van and made our way there. But the guy who was driving was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BAD! He kept trying to take shortcuts getting stuck falling down the side of mountains and crashing. We ended up stuck and ran out of time. I then told the guy on the mic barking orders just to blow up the bikes and i'd grab an incoming cop car and get us there no problems as i'm a great driver that doesn't crash. But he's raging on the mic at this point claiming other players are total idiots and that he can make it to the boat on his own way quicker than the rest of us. You can even hear him betting his girlfriend that he will make it to the boat way quicker than us. So he goes off on his own in a sports car. A minute later he dies and fails the heist! You hear him say "SH*T" on the mic. Needless to say he quickly quit after that. Major egg on his face. lol

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just do it bob3

A minute later he dies and fails the heist! You hear him say "SH*T" on the mic. Needless to say he quickly quit after that. Major egg on his face. lol

Man just took a giant L

iZagTln.jpg

Edited by just do it bob1

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RXRNathan

Pacific Standard final last night. The bit where you get to the bikes. All of us were high rank. Lowest was 368. Anyway, they couldn't find a chopper so some high ranked guy on the mic kept barking orders at us to take the bikes and find a vehicle claiming it was the best way. I know it isn't the best way but just rolled with it knowing it would end in failure. And sure enough someone died on a bike. He wanted to do the same again so i went with it again. We finally got a slow arsed armoured police van and made our way there. But the guy who was driving was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BAD! He kept trying to take shortcuts getting stuck falling down the side of mountains and crashing. We ended up stuck and ran out of time. I then told the guy on the mic barking orders just to blow up the bikes and i'd grab an incoming cop car and get us there no problems as i'm a great driver that doesn't crash. But he's raging on the mic at this point claiming other players are total idiots and that he can make it to the boat on his own way quicker than the rest of us. You can even hear him betting his girlfriend that he will make it to the boat way quicker than us. So he goes off on his own in a sports car. A minute later he dies and fails the heist! You hear him say "SH*T" on the mic. Needless to say he quickly quit after that. Major egg on his face. lol

By any chance was that guy the host? I've not had orders barked at me, as i join heists or setups just for easy money and helping out. The guy's probably had ton's of terrible crews. I'm also thinking that N.O.O.S.E was called, so either his CC just think there should be no witnesses. If you were the Crowd Control, i feel sorry for you. Your accomplice may've just done the "No Witness" way. Or you were too serious or you were intimidating enough. Aim a rocket launcher at the tellers, it'll max out the meter.

 

The only time's i've seen real angry people on the mic is a squeaker on Pacific Standard heist, and some pretty angry adult on the Insurgent setup.

If you want these stories, both of these are respectfully on page 56.

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RXRNathan

I'll make this one quick and painful (I was sick the other week, and school disrupted me this week) I'm all better now. It just put me off GTA for the time being.

 

Series A Funding: Coke.

My Role: Helicopter Team.

 

Level 29 dies when we nearly have all the Coke.

My Helicopter teammate leaves when we restarted. I cried to sleep that night (I didn't...) :3

 

But, i did get a Kill Target for Lester. So i did that and got an easy $7,000. Might not be much but i just needed to cheer myself up somehow.

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HailHydra

Tommorow is my midterm exam, I've done studying and decided to watch YouTube, watch gta doomsday heist content, got immediately hooked with the rcv. Since it's an useless vehicle other than looks i decided to finish it's setup to get discount. My friends all play other game. Play solo. First time with randoms, failed but in a normal way. Second time with another randoms, a guy disconnected. Not really an abnormal sight. The third time though...

 

 

A lvl 19 join. At that point I'm just like "f*ck it, let's see how this goes." So i start. It's not a hard setup so i guess we could beat it. So i switch to be the salvage team. But he seems to doesn't understand how to switch side and keep screaming " operatorrrr no one!!!". About his voice, He is a squaker and speaks gibberish but still slightly resembles english. So i think maybe he could handle the gunfight, i could help him so i go to be the operator and start it. The whole drive, he keeps screaming "weeeeeeee" everytime i speed up and "ceeeeeettttt" everytime i hit something or brake.

 

We arrived. I clear the fire, he supposed to take the hard drive. But no. He keep staying in the f*cking van. I told him, he keep screaming. Finally he left the van, i drive the van to clear the other fire. But no. He keeps running to the van screaming "NOOOOOUUU PLS DONT LEAVE MEEEE". At that point i just want to run him over and over again in frustration. But he persisted to be in the van and finnaly he manages to enter it. So i raged(pls don't judge I'm still a teen lol) and texted him "pls take the hard drive". He still in the van. Then i texted "are you stupid? Cant you f*cking read???" He just keep talking gibberish squakey like a rubber duck. So i left. Ughh randoms.

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les999

In the prison break finale today, the prisoner and prison officer were just exiting the prison in the van, so the jet started spiraling to earth as it usually does at this point. Unfortunately it crashed into the Velum on the way down and destroyed it. Never seen this happen before...

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just do it bob3

Can I just say that im doing the criminal mastermind with randoms, with no mic communication and we are on Pac Standard Bikes?

 

Maybe this might become the best heist failure story ever. We plan on finishing the CMM this friday.

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Nutduster

My favorite heist failure story: we were running Pac Standard with our usual group. The four of us (plus a few other friends that would join occasionally) had done this heist a couple dozen times, including Criminal Mastermind. So of course, we were overconfident. We got to the boat, and the group idiot (bless his little heart) rushes to take the wheel, because he has ADHD or something and can't stand not driving when it's a group vehicle. One of the others of us tells him, "Hey, take it easy with this boat. I accidentally beached it the other day, it's really easy to do." Group idiot laughs off the warning and hauls ass full speed down the river. Hits a rock, we go flying onto land, and have to restart.

 

However many minutes later, we're at the same spot. We have told group idiot that he won't be driving this time and he glumly accepts his fate. So instead he decides he's going to "prank" us and free fall as close to the river as possible before opening his parachute. He hits a tree and dies. We are all getting angry. We've now failed twice in a row at the last second, after doing this heist without hitches at least ten times in a row.

 

Third run, we take a car and drive down to the boat to prevent the idiot from screwing up. He quietly sits in the back of the boat as our most cautious guy takes the wheel. He goes at a gentle speed down the river... hits the same rock and beaches the boat.

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shadyslady

Nothing spectacular but I claim the most common f*ck ups happen in "PS CONVOY".

 

Don't even dare to try it w/o microphones when you play with randoms.

 

- people stop to block the road at different places

- people blow up the truck

- people argue who drives the truck/insurgent

- people ignore the savages (and get killed)

etc etc

 

Annoying as hell

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Heavy Duty Ziplock
Posted (edited)

.

Edited by Heavy Duty Ziplock

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just do it bob3

Heist failure stories: Criminal Mastermind Edition

 

We finished up until Pac Standard convoy which is when sh*t got real.

 

I tell everyone to sit in their Kurumas at the front of the bridge until my go. I go up the mountain and shoot both the savage and mesas. This is where things go very wrong. The barracks goes and drives off the cliff into the water. The Barracks is still okay, so I hop in my Insurgent Pickup, and all of us drive there. My teammates shoot the rest of the Mesa's while I get it out of the water. I managed to do it under a minute. My friend gets out of his Kuruma when I get there and gets boxed by two mesas and somehow survives. We shoot the Merryweather guys and he lives. Now, this is where things go really really wrong.

We drive over to the roadblock, and my other teammate hides in the insurgent instead of using the minigun, the savage starts approaching. At this point, I and the other rank 500 are yelling at him to shoot (he does not have a mic btw) The rank 500 tells me to leave, then tells me to stay, and the other guy isn't shooting. What happens next? The other guy from before who got boxed gets out of the Kuruma, tries to take down the savage and the savage blows him up. Criminal Mastermind Failed.

 

We are currently trying to beat the Criminal Mastermind again....

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RXRNathan
Posted (edited)

This was so hilarious, i just have to bring this up, (There is a few other stories to tell from me too!)

The Prison Break: Station.
My role: Cargo Ship team.

Paired with a Level 37 player from Brazil, we don't get far on the first attempt, as the cop team manages to somehow use up their lives.

The second try, we got to the cargo ship, with my teammate showing up later, getting through isn't hard, but it took this guy two minutes to show up, and by the time i had the Casco out the container, this guy was only halfway up the staircase.

Racing my way to the tunnel opposite the freight train railroad tracks, i hid in there, this was when things became stupid, and slightly funny.

We lost the cops, but the Brazillian shot out the Casco for no reason, and sent them back at us, by this point one of the station members came over, we got cops again not long after leaving the tunnel, no choice of turning back, i'd try the tiny tunnel at the storm drain, the station team member came over, then the Brazillian got out the car, and then the cop and my teammate started fighting for the front seat, and i couldn't stop laughing.

The cops started shooting, so i had to chuck a sticky out of the window to even the odds, and quickly gunned it to the tunnel you use in the Jewellery Store Heist, i drove deep and then the Brazillian got out the car again, he made a waving gesture, and that was when we finally lost the cops, as we were about to hit it straight to Blane County the station member teammate died, then he left, despite it being disappointing it was probably the most funniest heist experience i've ever experienced.

The Fleeca Job: Scope Out.

I drive my way to the bank, then to the factory, my teammate decides to go AFK  at this point, then he leaves.

Series A: Coke.

My role: Lookout (South)

First try!

My teammate takes a century to show up, and by that time the Bensons are Kyle Busching their way to the warehouse, with no protection, a Balla shoots a sticky that blows me and my teammate to smithereens.

Second try!

Teammate drives off a cliff, and gets stuck at the bottom of the hill, unable to climb, he drives all over the place (Nearly sinking the Technical on multiple occasions) Eventually i get irritated, take the technical off him, and find a way up. We don't get far however, as one of the Ground Team members is lagged out the setup.

Life is fun, isn't it?

 

Edited by RXRNathan

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