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DYOM: The escape [Part 1/2] {multi-characters}


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PresidentShark

Hello! My name is PresidentShark and I'm kinda new to this community. I've made some missions but they've not been sucessfull.

I've only relesed 2 of my works and you can check them out here: http://dyom.gtagames.nl/profile/7381
I want you guys to give this mission atleast a chance, I've not made too many missions and I think I've a future in mission making.
Before we jump into the mission details I just want to tell you all that this is not a storyline! This is just a "mission pack" of 2 missions, not much of a pack. If you guys like this mission I'll problary expand it to an entire storyline.
I also want to say that im from Sweden so my english is not 100% correct. If you want to help me out with grammars and such it would be very helpfull! If I've some grammar problems in some sentences then please tell me! It would glad me alot.
So lets jump right into the mission shall we?

What is "The escape"?

About the characters:

The escape is a mission about a couple of characters called:
The twins Shang & Hang.
This is two chinese boys which lives in Chinatown of San Fierro. They've a boss called Charles which simply is the leader of this entire operation.
Shang & Hang is very quiet beacause they got alot of problems when they were young.

Adrian & Thomas
Adrian is simply the guy who likes to do the "dangerous" stuff in the mission, we can call him the "bad boy". He like to do big scenes but deep inside of him he's scared.
Thomas is a very queit guy like Shang & Hang beacause he dont have much to say really. He's like the "slave" of this entire operation, he got forced to join this mission beacause he had to rescue Michael from jail beacause Michael is his best friend.

Charles
Charles is the boss of the entire operation, he gives instructions and tells everyone what to do. He's a good leader and both friendly and mean at same time.

Michael
Is the one who's inside jail. He've changed over the years while he've been in jail some of the characters dont know him how he is for the moment.

 

UGlSHXf.jpg

Blue = the police / military

Orange = Charle's gang

 

What's happening in the mission [spoiler alert]

This will spoil some cutscenes from part 2.

Sometimes the text can be removed pretty fast beacause I'm a fast reader so for me It's perfectly fine but for some people It'll go too fast.

But what's happening is simply that Charles set up a plan with some of his friends beacause he cant wait 10 more years for Michael. Charles knew everything was his fault.

So in alot of years Charles have been frustrated on himself beacause of this. And alot of his group-members have also been dissapointed at him. But now, Charles want to make everything good again so he setup this brilliant plan!

 

 

 

You can download this mission from here: http://dyom.gtagames.nl/show/36292
If anyone have any logo laying around it would be really awesome if you could edit it to this mission! Or give me a background so i can add the text myself ^^

I'm kinda new to this community so dont judge this mission too hard! This is my first mission published on GTA forums.
If you guys dont like this mission I wont upload part 2!
Thanks for reading guys! Hope you enjoy the mission!

If this get good respond I'll expand it and problary add new gangs.

 

Known fails

- In part 1 I forgot to type the creator of the mission name, it says DYOM instead of PresidentShark

- In part 1 you'll see 2 guards standing instead of 1

- Forgot to click "publish" on part 1

 

- In part 1 Thomas isnt following into the end of the mission

 

Edited by PresidentShark
Link to comment
https://gtaforums.com/topic/769179-dyom-the-escape-part-12-multi-characters/
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Hdxt_Hardluck

Man this mission is Awsome Like Mission Impossible , but the things i didnt like it is :

- the guys who came wwith me to Get the chopper you must set his health to 500 or 2500 and do it ''must survive , also do Diffrent guys in the secuirty to be more effective

-And finaly Do not do (Charles) do this Charles; Than your Dialouge :D

Overall i give 8.5 / 10 keep going ;D

PresidentShark

Thank you very much DzxProx for your awesome feedback!

And yes I'll try improve the things you stated but I'll keep on using (Charles) beacause I like that more :D

And yes I'll think about that with "must survive"

Thank you for your feedback :)

 

EDIT: I'm currently working on part 2, It'll be out around friday.

Edited by PresidentShark

A newbie with good English is not something I see everyday.

Try your best to stick around, alright mate? If you need it, I will give you as much support as possble. Expect a feedback in two or three days

This.

A newbie with good english...millions of years without seeing.

You got my support too.

  • Like 1
PresidentShark

Thanks alot!

But I dont agree with that I've gotten that good english level. But I guess I've a "understandable" english :D

I always try to correct grammar problems in my missions but It's hard since I'm not native-speaker of english :/

But thanks alot guys! Havent seen a community like DYOM for awhile.

 

EDIT: I screwed up, I forgot to click "publish" so the source is avaible for download :p

Here's the DL without source: http://dyom.gtagames.nl/show/36292

A dumb newbie-misstake. Wont happend again.

Edited by PresidentShark

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