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Create your own mission for GTA IV

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A Dish Served Cold (altered, and taking Kill Derrick option into consideration beforehand)

Mission Name: A Dish Served Cold

Mission Given: After One Last Thing

Mission Given By: Niko Bellic

Mission Reward: $2500


Along the way to the "Revenge" symbol...

Niko calls Francis McReary and Francis answers.

Niko: Hey Francis, I'll need some help taking care of an old enemy, Dimitri Rascalov.

Francis: That sneaky Russian bastard? Sure thing! I'll be there ASAP.



As soon as Niko gets to the docks, Francis shows up in his police car. Both of them get out of their cars. 

Francis: Alright, I'm going in. You cover me up there! Once the main area of the boat is cleared, I'll let you know so you can rush in.

Niko: Will do!



Niko climbs up the ladder all the way up to the crane and grabs the sniper rifle.

Russian mobster: Get lost, pig!

Francis shoots all Russian mobsters guarding the Platypus. Francis then goes aboard and Niko takes out some Russian mobsters with Francis taking out others.

Francis: The Russians have me locked in! Come here quick!


Niko rushes down the crane and aboard the boat. There, he comes to Francis's rescue by shooting the Russian mobsters. Niko and Francis then move in with Niko getting to the control panel, killing all Russians that get in his way. Once Niko gets there, he opens a hatch.

Francis: I'll follow you down there!

As Niko rushed all the way down to Francis, he guided Francis to the opened hatch. 

Francis: Dimitri Rascalov! Come out with your hands behind your head! You are under arrest!

Niko goes down then does Francis.

Francis: I've got the left side. You take the right, Niko!

Niko kills Russian mobsters from his right and ambushes Dimitri that way while Francis does the same on the left side.

Niko: We've got you cornered, Dimitri!

Francis: Your only two options are to be arrested or die, my friend!

Dimitri: Not if I kill the Balkan and pig scums myself! (speaks Russian)

Four of Dimitri's men come out. Francis covers Niko and tells him that Dimitri is "all his". After Francis kills all four of Dimitri's buddies, Niko shoots Dimitri Rascalov until he is very weakened.

Dimitri: If you kill me, the whole city will be after you! (speaks Russian again)

If Niko takes a little while, Francis will say "Come on, Niko. You wanted him dead". If Niko takes too long, Francis will kill Dimitri himself. Either way around, Niko says "Goodbye Dimitri! I should've put you out of your misery a long time ago" and Francis gives Niko the money. Francis and Niko get off of the boat then Francis gets away in his police car while Niko gets away in the car he drove.

Edited by ThatKyloRenGuy
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Out of Commission (altered, taking Kill Playboy X option into consideration beforehand)

Mission Name: Out of Commission

Mission Given: After Mr. and Mrs. Bellic

Mission Given By: Little Jacob

Reward: $250,000


Niko gets a call from Little Jacob, telling him that he and Roman are in a car by Jimmy Pegorino’s men.

Niko: Wait for me, I’ll be right there and what’s Roman doing there? This is not the place for him.

Little Jacob: He’s backing you up, an we both, seen?

Niko: I know one more guy who should do the trick. I’ll call him on my way to you guys.

Little Jacob: We need all da help we can get. You do it breda. One love!


On his way to Roman and Little Jacob, Niko calls Dwayne and he answers.

Niko: Dwayne! Thank God you answered! I need you to assist me, my cousin, and another one of my friends in taking down a Mafia boss named Jimmy Pegorino. You in?

Dwayne: Well, he does seem rather dangerous. I’ll see what I can do. (hangs up)



Niko gets in the car and tells Roman and Little Jacob, “One more guy is coming to help us. Thank you both, but this is not the place for you Roman. I don’t want to lose you, especially not on the same day I lost Kate.”

Roman: Kate died at my wedding and you are my cousin, Niko. I am helping you alongside Little Jacob and this other friend of yours.

Little Jacob: Dem boys are getting ready to leave, seen? Me tink dey next stop is wit Pegorino.

Mafioso: F*ck! We got a tail! I don’t want to be late to meeting with the Peg!



Niko begins chasing the mafiosi. After a little bit of it, he says “Where the f*ck is this guy going?”

Little Jacob: Easy rasta. He’s taking us back to Pegorino. You need to chill.

Roman: I’m not f*cking chilled! We are speeding down the highway at God only knows how fast, cars are coming toward us, people are shooting at us. You’ve been smoking too much, Jacob! Whatever chilled is, this is not! Oh, and by the way, cousin, who is this guy who’s meeting us to take down Jimmy P?

Niko: A friend who I spared earlier. His name is Dwayne Forge.



Niko goes up a ramp and over a creek. His car crashes into the one of the mobsters. Another car shows up and Dwayne comes out of it. He is ducking with Niko, Roman, and Little Jacob.

Roman: You must be this Dwayne Forge my cousin was telling me about.

Dwayne: Yes. Nice to meet you.

Niko: No time for an introduction. We got to get Pegorino.

Little Jacob: So what be da plan, ras clot?

Niko: Jacob, the best way you can help me is keeping my cousin alive. Dwayne, you go straight in the casino. I’ll cover you.

Dwayne: Sounds like a good plan to me.

Little Jacob: (runs in the distance with Roman) Roman and I will be wit you, soon, breda!



Niko goes the back way, climbing up ladders, and right by a building next to the old casino. He uses a sniper rifle to take out mafiosi and others are taken out by Dwayne.

Niko: I’ll follow you into the old casino. Leave Pegorino to me!

Dwayne: I gotcha bro!

Niko goes down the small building and into the grand casino, killing all mafiosi who get in his way with Dwayne backing him up. He gets to the end of the stairs as Jimmy Pegorino is at the top.



Jimmy P: You motherf*cker! Don’t think for a second that this was anyone’s fault but your own! You could’ve worked with me and everything would’ve been gravy.

Niko: I wanted out and you killed someone I cared about. It’s over for you, Jimmy.

Jimmy P: I still got something left! (runs through a door)



Dwayne follows Niko up the stairs. Niko and Dwayne shoot the mafiosi and climb down the ladder. They shoot and blow up the car of another group of mafiosi. Jimmy P is getting away on a jet ski. Niko and Dwayne get to ground level and Dwayne gets on the back of a motorcycle with Niko driving it and staying close by the water.



Niko and Dwayne go up a ramp and Dwayne holds onto Niko as Niko grabs Roman’s hand. Little Jacob is flying a helicopter. Both Niko and Dwayne are let up and Niko takes the helicopter’s controls. Rockets are fired at the helicopter. It starts to catch fire and Niko lands it. All four of them get out.

Niko: All three of you have been a great help! Now all I’ve got to do is finish off Jimmy P!

Dwayne: You go do that, Niko. I’ll keep your friend and cousin company!



Niko shoots straight through a group of mafiosi and finally wounds Jimmy P at a tree.



Niko: I told you to leave me alone.

Jimmy P: I give the orders here. Me.

Niko: Not looking so good there, eh Jimmy?

Jimmy P: Screw you!

Niko: Big talk. You wanna know something funny?

Jimmy P: Not really.

Niko: The Commission - the original five families. I know those guys. And they thought of you as a fat f*cking joke!

Jimmy: Whatever.

Niko: A joke! Huh?

As Jimmy attempts to shoot Niko, Niko shoots him in the forehead, thus killing him. Roman, Little Jacob, and Dwayne are then seen rushing to Niko.

Roman: We did it, man! Now we can start making money..freely! We won, man. We won!

Niko, Roman, Little Jacob, and Dwayne all walk away.


(Ending credits roll)

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Mission Name: Hunting

Mission Given: After completion of the game (Kill Playboy X, Kill Derrick, and Revenge ending must be picked in order for this to be possible, and it doesn't matter whether you kill or spare Darko)

Mission Given By: Homer Spurlock (my own original character)

Reward: $500,000


Note: This is ONLY in my fan-made GTA IV but after killing Playboy X and Derrick, and picking the Revenge ending, the map becomes even bigger and includes a whole new region called New England (consisting of Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Vermont, New Hampshire, and Maine, I can't think of parody names, lol). Niko will be capable of going back and forth to New England, Liberty City, and Alderney.


Niko has to go to Vermont, where he meets a redneck guy.

Niko: Hey! The name's Niko!

Homer: Hey, I never met a guy named Niko! Nice to meet ya, the name's Homer Spurlock! You look a little Russian. However, you also look like somebody who was associated with the Lost MC.

Niko: I knew one of those guys - Johnny Klebitz.

Homer: I know him too! He and his brothers sometimes come out here, hunting from Alderney.

Niko: I was a hitman for hire in both Liberty City and Alderney.

Homer: Man, sounds like you'd enjoy some hunting!

Niko: Hunting sounds fun.

Homer: Then what are ya waiting for? Deck yourself out in camo in my trailer!

Niko has to walk inside the trailer and when he walks out, he's wearing camo.

Homer: You look mighty nice in camo, Niko!

Niko: So where are you from?

Homer: Right here in Vermont! I also go hunting in New Hampshire and Maine! Since you've roamed throughout Liberty City, Alderney, and I assume the lower states of New England, I suggest going hunting in all three states. You in?

Niko: Sure.

Homer: That's the spirit! Now, I've got a long list of animals I want ya to hunt: deer, moose, elk, caribou, bear, and a few different birds!

Niko: I can handle that.

Homer: Of course ya can! Now, remember. When you see a deer, moose, elk, or caribou without antlers, hold your fire. Only shoot the ones with antlers.

Niko has to roam Vermont, find hiding spots, and shoot the animals he's supposed to kill. If he kills any does or cows, the mission will fail. Once the mission is completed, he calls Homer.

Niko: I got each of the animals you wanted me to kill.

Homer: That's great! Now you can hunt in your spare time whenever you want in New Hampshire and Maine! I wish ya good luck in hunting, Niko! (hangs up)

Niko can now hunt in Vermont, Maine, and New Hampshire at any time he wants.

Edited by ThatKyloRenGuy
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Under the Big Top

Mission Name: Under the Big Top

Mission Given: After Shadow but before Rigged to Blow

Mission Given By: Mikhail Faustin

Reward: $600


Niko arrives at Perestroika. There, he meets Dimitri Rascalov.

Niko: Dimitri, nice to see you again.

Dimitri: Likewise.

As they walk towards Mikhail, he is once again sitting down with Katerina and Vera.

Dimitri: Mikhail, this is like the third time I’ve seen you with those two women? Are you cheating on your wife Ilyena, for them?

Mikhail: Why are you always up my ass, Dimitri? Can’t you just not be for once?

Dimitri: That probably means yes.

Mikhail speaks Russian to Katerina and Vera so they get up and walk away.

Dimitri and Niko sit down.

Mikhail: If either one of you tells my wife, I swear I’ll rip both of your tongues out!

Niko: So what did you bring the two of us here for this time, Mikhail?

Mikhail: Listen Niko, as Dimitri obviously already knows, our crime family launders our money through a circus too. We have a show going on in Liberty City tonight right here in South Bohan!

Niko: Yeah, so?

Mikhail: As usual, we’ve got some protestors complaining about how rough our lions, elephants, and bears have it. I want you and Dimitri not to kill them, but to teach them a lesson.

Dimitri: Oh my God, Mikhail, you get crazier and crazier by the f*cking minute!

Mikhail: Stop questioning my orders, Dimitri! (slams his fist against the table)

Dimitri: They’re just some wacky, granola head college students!

Mikhail: Yeah, and we can’t have our circus shut down by them, or the feds, or ANYONE! Now what are you two waiting for? BE GONE! (swats at Niko and Dimitri)

Dimitri and Niko walk away, shaking their heads.

Niko now has to get in the car with Dimitri. On the way there...

Niko: I agree with you, about Mikhail.

Dimitri: Who wouldn’t? Ya know, I really want the old Mikhail back. He used to be much different than he is now.

Niko: I can believe that.

Upon arrival, Niko and Dimitri get out of the car and walk up to the protestors.

Dimitri: HEY! Get lost! You all have no reason to be here!

Protestor: Who do you think you are?

Dimitri: A member of a family who runs this circus! That’s who! This is your final warning to leave!

Protestor: F*ck you, animal abuser!

Dimitri: Niko, looks like we’ll have to do this the old fashioned way.

Dimitri hands Niko a baseball bat so he has to whack the protestor who insulted Dimitri with it.

The other protestors run away, crying assault. The player now has two wanted level stars and has to get back in the car with Dimitri.

Dimitri: Sh*t! Now the pigs are after us!

Niko has to lose the cops. Once they are lost..

Dimitri: Alright, take me back to Perestroika. I’ll give Mikhail a call.

Dimitri calls Mikhail.

Dimitri: (speaking Russian back and forth)

Dimitri hangs up.

Niko: So how does Mikhail feel about this?

Dimitri: Well, he’s not happy that we attracted heat but he is happy that the protestors likely won’t be coming back.

Niko: Sounds like the first time in his life that he was actually rational.

Dimitri: I just hope the audience under the big top didn’t witness it. If they did, Mikhail will not be very happy with either of us!

Once Dimitri is dropped off at Perestroika, he gives Niko his reward and goes inside.

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Well, this is actually a fan-made TBOGT mission, but I hope it counts! :) 


Veggie Tales

Mission Name: Veggie Tales

Mission Given: After Dropping In but before In the Crosshairs

Mission Given By: Ray Bulgarin

Reward: $3000


Luis Fernando Lopez enters the mansion of Ray Bulgarin, and as usual, Timur is playing his guitar.

Luis: Yo Ray, why is Timur always playing that guitar?

Ray: Well, this time, it’s because he’s getting pumped up so I’m glad you asked, Luis! Listen, some vegan f*cker by the name of Trey Hugger who owns a vegan restaraunt of his own is threatening to put my bar here in Liberty City out of business! Timur and I had just stolen a vegetable truck and filled it with explosives. You and Timur are to go to Fruity Fables, the vegan restaraunt he owns, act as delivery men, run away, and detonate the bombs!

Timur: Don’t keep me waiting! I am SO ready for this!

Luis is to get in the vegetable truck with Timur and begin driving to the waypoint. On the way there...

Timur: I hate vegan food! It makes me sick anyway!

Luis: I’m Dominican. Not all of us are vegans, though we don’t eat much red meat.

Timur: Well try not to crash this too much or we might explode. I’d rather not die alongside someone who smells like fish and poultry! (cracks up)

Upon arrival, Luis and Timur get out of the truck when they meet Trey Hugger.

Trey Hugger: Just in time! Wait a second! You two don’t look quite like veggie deliverymen.

Luis: What? Is it because I’m Dominican and he’s Russian or something? You a racist?

Trey Hugger: No man! Racism ain’t cool! Oh well! Thanks, I guess. And remember, stay good for the environment!

Luis is then to run away alongside Timur to a safe distance while Trey Hugger is inspecting the vegetable truck. On Timur’s mark, Luis is to detonate the bombs using his phone. Both the vegetable truck and Fruity Fables explode, alongside Trey Hugger. Luis now has three wanted level stars. He has to jack a vehicle, wait for Timur and lose his wanted level. Upon losing it, he gets a call from Ray Bulgarin.

Ray: So, how did it go?

Luis: Out with a bang.

Ray: Ha! Looks like he’s no longer interfering with my businesses, nor will he be f*cking us over with marijuana deals! I’ll give you the money at my mansion where you drop off Timur.

Upon arrival at Ray’s mansion, Luis and Timur get out, Luis is given the money, and the mission is completed.

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Grotti Vigilante
15 hours ago, ThatKyloRenGuy said:

Luis! Listen, some vegan f*cker by the name of Trey Hugger

You sir have just won the internet for today.

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Knowing the Family a Little Better

Mission Name: Knowing the Family a Little Better

Mission Given: After Smackdown but before Babysitting

Mission Given By: Francis McReary

Reward: $2500


Niko meets with Francis in his office at the LCPD station. He walks inside and sits down as told by Francis.

Francis: Listen, I've heard you've been hanging out with my brothers quite frequently. Well, I have two daughters and one son. My son is 10 while my daughters are 13 and 7. Since they all have me as a father, they know right from wrong. It's Derrick's two sons who I'm worried about. 

Niko: And how old are they?

Francis: One is 22 and the other is 23, so they're both grown men! Their names are Benjamin and Christian. I don't want anymore Irish mob slackers in my family! That's why I want you to pick them up and bring them here so they can have a little police training.

Niko: Sure thing Officer McReary!

Francis: You better not have meant that sarcastically!

Niko now has to go to Benjamin and Christian McReary as they're marked as a waypoint. Upon arrival...

Niko: Hey, I'm here to pick you up for your Uncle Francis!

Benjamin: Uncle Francis?

Christian: Sh*t! I hope this doesn't mean we're in trouble!

Niko now has to wait for Benjamin and Christian to get in the car and drive them back to the LCPD station. On the way there...

Benjamin: So, what exactly does Uncle Francis want us for?

Niko: Don't worry! He says he wants you two to become LCPD officers.

Christian: Sounds like the LCPD is surprisingly running low on officers..so what's your name?

Niko: Niko Bellic. I'm good friends with your Uncle Packie and Aunt Kate.

Benjamin: Uncle Packie has always been loads of fun!

Christian: Uncle Packie and Aunt Kate have always been the most down-to-Earth. Must be because they're the closest in age to their nieces and nephews. Them two and Gerry are the only three McReary siblings without kids either.

Niko: So, do you have anymore siblings than just you two?

Christian: Yes. We have an older sister who's 26. She lives in Los Santos and is married to a Mexican. 

Benjamin: We've also got a younger sister who's 18 and goes to college in Vice City and another sister, but she's only 15.

Niko: Wow! That's quite the family!

Upon arrival at the LCPD station...

Francis: Hi Benjamin, hi Christian, and of course, hi Niko! Alright, Niko, take them to the training room! Here's the instructions! (hands Niko an instruction manual)

Niko has to lead Benjamin and Christian to the training room.

First, he has to shoot targets using his gun in the shooting ranges alongside Benjamin and Christian. Second, he has to show them how to use point a gun and switch weapons. Third, he has to show them how to run in an obstacle course. Last, he has to act as a personal trainer for them as they do pushups, sit-ups, and jumping jacks. Once it's all done...

Niko, Benjamin, and Christian walk out.

Francis: So how did it go?

Niko: I think you've got yourself the next generation of police officers in your family!

Francis: (gives Niko his cut) Here's your reward! Now shoo!

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Mission name: Mr. Worldwide
Mission giver: Dwayne Forge
Mission given after: Guns, guns and... guns
Mission plot: Niko goes to the Governor Greg Johnson Projects, there, he sees Dwayne standing by the playground.

N: Dwayne.

D: Niko, man, nice to see you.

N: Thanks, you too. How's business since our last outing, man?

D: Pretty fine I guess. Did some deals recently, sold some guns and some dope, but there's one thing that kinda bothers me, y'know?

N: Can you tell me more? (Niko leans on the fence and holds his hand on his chin)

D: So you see, there's one guy who seems to be pretty big in the scene. At least he claims and claimed to be. I heard of him some years ago, before my stint. Now look, he offered me a deal to which I agreed, he wanted to buy a big chunk of crack. And I mean it, it was gigantic. Now he was meant to leave me the cash down at a dumpster in East Holland and uh... I gotta go meet someone. You know what I mean, heh-heh.

N: Ah, I see. Yeah, sure, I'll go down there. I'll call you when I'm there, okay? (as he says that, he stands up)
D: Yeah, okay, do that. Thanks man.

N: No problem. (he walks away, Dwayne pulls out a phone and types something on it)

Head up to the alleyway in East Holland.

When you go there, you get a cutscene of Niko entering the alleyway. He approaches the dumpster, looks around and opens it. There, he sees a briefcase, which he swiftly picks up and opens. Inside, there's a note.

N: Man, Dwayne's gonna be pissed.

As Niko examines the briefcase and says that, a homeless guy (m_m_genbum_01) comes from behind him. Niko notices him in time and jumps away.

Eliminate the assassin.

Kill him quickly, as he is only armed with a Desert Eagle. Then, Niko calls Dwayne:

N: sh*t Dwayne, there was no cash in the briefcase, but a note saying "thanks for the free crack, sucker". Then a second later some bum tried to waste me. 

D: God-f*cking-damn-it. That's just great. I need the money, Niko. What to do? Hm... can you get a police computer?

N: I can try.

D: Now listen. Look for a guy named "Florence West". That's the street name the buyer was using. Perhaps you'll find something?

N: We'll see. I'll call you back.

Get a cop car.

If you get it, open the Police Computer and look for Florence West. You won't find anything. Niko calls Dwayne:
N: I sadly did not find anything.

D: Damn it. Must have been a fake name. The guy's paranoid. Listen, I got some of my goons to check the guy under every angle possible. I'll try to get a picture of him so you can find him on the police computer this way.

N: I'll be in touch.

Dwayne sends Niko a message showing a guy being dressed up as a woman. Underneath it, it says: "dis guy is a crossdress or sum sh*t."

Use the built in police computer like in "Portrait of a Killer" to find the target. You will soon find out the target. His name is "Fred East" and his current hideout is the Northwood Heights Bridge. Locate him. Niko calls Dwayne.

D: You got something, son?
N: Yeah, I've located a man called "Fred East", he's hiding somewhere by the bridge in Northwood.

D: You say so? Go check it out and question his ass, alright?

N: Will do.

Go to the Northwood Heights Bridge.

Now you gotta head there. Enter the marker.

Descend the stairs.

Upon going down, you'll see a group of homeless guys under the bridge. One of them has a unique model and wears a wig.

N: Hey, Fred East round here?
F: What the f*ck you want?
N: You're that piece of sh*t who stole from my friend, right?
F: Ah, it's Forge's guy. I didn't steal jacksh*t. 

N: There was no money in the briefcase. Where is it?
F: Take it from my cold hands, you turd!

Take out the homeless and go after Fred!

You gotta kill all the hobos now. Fred will be invincible, but will try to enter a nearby beater Vigero. Unable to start it, he quips, in a cutscene:

F: Heh. You got me.

N: Hand over the cash.

F: Sure. Just let's go to my apartment. It's in Acter.

N: Quite a while away from here...

Go to Fred's house in Acter.

On the way there.

N: Who are you exactly?
F: I am a professional. You don't need to know more.

N: A professional? I heard you were in this game since the 90's, it's been ages.

F: If you say so. 

N: Then why do you use multiple names?
F: It's part of my job.

N: Job?
F: None of your business.

N: You're not a nice guy, you know?
F: I never was.

N: At least you're honest. Will you tell me why didn't you pay Dwayne in the first place?
F: No.

N: Tell me!

F: Chill out. Will do when we get there. 

N: Fine.

When you arrive there:

F: Okay, follow me.

Fred and Niko go to the backyard. There, Fred picks up his AK-47.

F: You thought I'd give you back the money? Haha, good one.

N: f*cking hell...

Take out Fred East.

Once he's done, Niko will find a bag in a cutscene. He calls Dwayne:

N: Hey Dwayne. Fred East is history and I found your drugs.

D: Good. Thanks. Where you at?
N: Acter, Alderney. Can you come over to Alderney to get it?
D: Sure, meet me in Alderney City, off of Applewhite Street.

Go meet Dwayne.

When you go there:

D: Ahhh, Niko. Thank you for this. Much appreciated.

N: Don't mention it. And I still have no idea who that Fred East is and why he was like that.
D: Don't worry. Guy was a poser, talking more than what he was worth.

N: If you say so. See you later. 
D: Here's your cut. You deserve it.

Mission passed, 6.000$

Edited by Jeansowaty
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Note: This is just actually a fan-made activity for TLAD, but I guess it counts. This side mission can only be played prior to completion of the game as it’s only available in the Lost MC clubhouse. Johnny can play it with either Clay or Terry.


If Johnny walks up to Terry or Clay at the clubhouse...

Terry or Clay: Johnny boy, how good do you think you are at Go Fish?

Johnny: Oh, not bad, I suppose.

Terry or Clay: Well, sit right down and let’s play away!

Johnny is given a few cards. It can vary upon gameplay but let’s just go with this example being a seven, a two, an ace, a king, and a three. Also, anything can happen. The below is just a sample of how it can go and what the player can ask for.

Terry or Clay: Got any fives, Johnny?

Johnny: Nice try brother, but you’re gonna have to go fish.

Terry or Clay draws another card from the pack.

Johnny: Got any sevens?

Terry or Clay: Ya got me, Johnny! (gives him a card)

Johnny: Got any sixes?

Terry or Clay: Damn Johnny! You’re better at this than I thought! (gives him a card)

Johnny: Got any kings?

Terry or Clay: Sorry Johnny, but you’re gonna have to go fish.

Johnny pulls out another card.

Terry or Clay: Got any nines?

Johnny: Go fish, brother!


To wrap things up, the above is basically how it will keep going until someone wins. If Johnny wins, he will get more money. However, if he loses, he has to give up a small amount to either Clay or Terry as part of the whole gambling thing.

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Random Encounter (IV)

Given: At any time of the game after the mission Roman’s Sorrow


Upon driving or walking, Niko will hear a woman shout “Help! Some assholes stole my purse!” The purse thieves are members of the Rascalov crime family and there are two of them. Niko can do this multiple different ways. He can either run them over or shoot them. However, if the second approach is taken, the other will shoot at him. He can also chase them by car or on foot to a back alleyway. There, he will have to take out more Russian mobsters. No matter what approach he takes, he will have to collect the purse and this will be the cutscene upon bringing it back to its rightful owner.


Niko: I believe this belongs to you.

Woman: A true gentleman and for once, I’m saying it without being sarcastic!

Niko: Next time those Russians mess with you, give me a call.

Woman: Of course, here, you can have some money from my purse.

Niko: Thank you.

Woman: No, thank you! What’s your name?

Niko: It’s Niko. Niko Bellic.

Woman: You don’t know how much this means to me. I’ll never forget this. Have a nice rest of your day, Niko.


Niko also receives about $15. He will also get a phone call that shows up as “Unknown Caller”, but it won’t happen until after the player accomplishes a few more missions. If he answers it...

Woman: Hey, I’m that woman whom you retrieved the purse for. I hope this is the right number.

Niko: It is. Anymore problems with those Russian punks?

Woman: No, but thanks for asking. I appreciate your concern. Anyways, I gave you a new outfit. You can pick it up at the laundromat.

Niko: That’s very kind of you.

(Niko hangs up)


Niko has to drive to a laundromat and pick up an outfit that resembles what Tommy Vercetti wears. It will be added to his inventory.

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Random Encounter (TLAD)

Given: At any time of the game after End of Chapter


Upon driving or walking, Johnny will hear a man shout "Somebody help! Some assholes stole my wallet!" The wallet thieves are members of the Angels of Death MC. Johnny has to chase them down and shoot them all. After that's done, he has to collect the wallet and this will be the cutscene when he returns it to its rightful owner.


Johnny: Here ya go!

Man: People helping others! It's what this country's all about! If there were more people like you, this world would be a much better place!

Johnny: Hey, next time those AOD punks mess with you, just give me a call.

Man: Of course! For what you did, I'll give you some of this money and I'll spend the rest of it at this Redbox.

Johnny: Alright, thanks man.

Man: It's you who needs to be thanked, not me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna rent a movie to watch with my wife and two children.

Johnny: Ok! Enjoy the movie!


$15 has been added to Johnny's money.

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Guitar Master (side mission, TLAD, parody of Guitar Hero 3)

Given: at any time before Jim’s death


Johnny Klebitz will walk up to Jim Fitzgerald, standing by the Guitar Master machine at the Lost MC’s clubhouse.


Jim: Hey brother Johnny, wanna play this rocking game?

Johnny: Would I?


List of songs available to perform against Jim:

* Slow Ride by Foghat (1975)

* Rock and Roll All Nite by Kiss (1975)

* Lovedrive by Scorpions (1979)

* Black Magic Woman by Santana (1970)

* Paranoid by Black Sabbath (1970)

* La Grange by ZZ Top (1973)

* Pride and Joy by Stevie Ray Vaughan (1983)

* The Seeker by The Who (1971)

* Paint It Black by The Rolling Stones (1966)

* Sunshine Of Your Love by Cream (1968)

* Anarchy in the UK by Sex Pistols (1977)

* Holiday in Cambodia by Dead Kennedy’s (1980)

* Even Flow by Pearl Jam (1991)

* Jukebox Hero by Foreigner (1981)

* Devil Went Down to Georgia by Charlie Daniels (1979)

* Same Old Song and Dance by Aerosmith (1974)

* Welcome to the Jungle by Guns N Roses (1987)

* The Metal by Tenacious D (2006)

* Mississippi Queen by Mountain (1970)

* School’s Out by Alice Cooper (1972)


The character Johnny plays as is a brunette with brown eyes who has a lower stomach tattoo, shirtless with a bra, and wearing leather pants, a belt with a buckle, multiple necklaces, and platform shoes (likely because he thinks the character is hot, lol). The character Jim plays as is some guy with a helmet that has a spike on top, wears an iron cross necklace, and decked out in leather.


If Johnny wins...

Johnny: Good game brother, but you’re gonna have to hand some over.

Jim: What would I not do for a brother? (gives Johnny some money as part of the gambling)


If Jim wins...

Jim: Looks like I won, Johnny.

Johnny: I ain’t happy about it but I’ll still give my brother some money. (Johnny gives a small amount of his money to Jim)

Edited by ThatKyloRenGuy
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Mission name: Crime and Punishment (beta version)

Mission giver: Roman Bellic

Mission given after: Uncle Vlad

Mission plot: Niko meets Roman in a dumpster in (i can't remember the club)


N:Where are you Roman?

R: I'm freaking out man. I'm being followed i saw them!

N: Don't be ridiculous you're being paranoid.

R: I'm being paranoid? f*ck you! everything was fine before you turn up and now we are going to jail (Sees a cop behind niko) Watch Out!

B: Freeze LCPD Motherf*cker!

N: Why?

B: Your under arrest for the murder of Vlad Glebov!

R: Enjoy the prison showers cousin!

B: You too!

N: Okay, this is getting boring so-

(Brian knocks Niko out with Nightstick)

B: Come on fatty. You and your cousin is under arrest for Homicide.

R: Come on please!

(Niko wakes up in a Police Cruiser in a alley near the Goatherd Police Station)

B: Wake up asshole. Your not arrested.

N: Thank you officer.

B: Well not yet.

N: See i tell you, Vlad was a piece of trash, they don't care about him, all they care about is making money, so let's work for them.

B: My squad need's more people like you, that's a good idea

N: Oh no i sh*t my pants!

B: That's disgusting.   

R: Niko! i don't know but that cop just released me!

N: Oh? what's your name pig?

B: Brian o' Toole and before i let you go i need you to go in kill the LCPD's most wanted, at least five.

R: Here! (Roman uncuffs niko)

B: Take my cruiser, and log on to the database and respond to the last known location's.

N: Fine.

B: Afterward's drop my cruiser off here in Goatherd, and then MAYBE i will clear off your Police Record's


(Later, after arresting at least five most wanted criminals and arriving at Goatherd)


B: Thank you Niko meet me here at the Police Station if you want some more work done.


Mission Passed



Brian o' Toole as a phone contact maybe listed as City Contact

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Mission name: The Guns of Faustin (this name is a parody of a Grand Theft Auto Liberty City Stories mission)

Mission giver: Brian o'Toole

Mission Given after: Crime and Punishment (beta version)

Mission plot: Brian order's Niko to meet Faustin's house in Beachgate.



B: Niko Bellic i need you down in Beachgate ASAP.

N: What's going on?

B: I'd like to introduce you to Mikihal Faustin and his partner Dimitri Rascolov.

N: Who are they working for Officer?

B: Some f*cked up Russian mob. Anyways i'll see you later.


(Niko journeys to the house)


B: Hey Faustin this is Niko, Niko Faustin, Faustin Niko.

F: Shut up, you dumb pig.

N: You must be Mr Faustin.

F: Yeah that's me. Now listen Niko Bellic, do you think it's okay to kill my employee's?

N: If he's an asshole yes.

(Andrei walk's in)

B: Andrei! my partner!

A: Hey Brian good to see you!

N: You're Andrei?

A: You've been a bad boy Mr Balkan, and the boss is not happy.

F: Oh no, i am happy. Niko's lucky Vlad was an idiot, only reason i have him around cause i f*ck his sister.

B: Yeah, if he was not then he and his cousin would by now be with there shower daddy's.

N: And Brian? i thought you where fighting the crime on terror, but you did'int read so good?

B: Shut the f*ck up asshole! and it's Officer O'Toole for you!

N: Okay fine! calm down!

(Dimitri walks in)

Dim: So you're Niko Bellic?

N: Yeah.

Dim: We're being attacked by a group of Yardies.

B: f*ck! i'll go get me some backup!

N: You're a good cop Brian O'Toole.

B: Here, take my MP5 and go shoot those Yardies!

F: Let's do this!

A: Same here!


(After that cutscene we battle the attacking Yardie gangsters)


Take out the Yardies


Dim: Help! somebody! i'm being taken hostage!

N: sh*t!


Save Dimitri


Dim: Thank you Niko.

N: Don't mention it.


Continue killing the Yardie's


B: That's right you f*cking gibberish f*ckers!

LCPD 1: You are all going away for a long time!

N: Whatever Officer O'Toole. Don't cry to me when you get fired.

B: I said shut up Niko! you Balkan trash!

N: Okay, i'm getting out of here.

LCPD 2: Here, take this money has a thank you for helping my supervisor. Just don't spend it on bribes.



Mission Passed!

Reward $500


Note: This is my vision of the beta version of how Brian O'Toole's mission played out witch i think was a cut character since he had both a In-game TV ad and a Grand Theft Auto IV trailer so please don't hate please.

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Pizza Delivery (in IV, I’ll do TLAD’s variation later)

Given: after I’ll Take Her and the previous Ray Boccino missions but before Museum Piece

For: Ray Boccino

Reward: $425 (plus two $5 tips)


Niko arrives at Drusilla’s and Ray gets up from his seat.

Ray: Back here, Nicky.

Ray and Niko walk into the back room.

Niko: What do you want this time, Ray? For me to kill more people you don’t like?

Ray: Funny you’d say that because this time, that is NOT at all what I want you to do.

Niko: Wow! There’s a real shocker.

Ray: Don’t worry though, I’ll give you another mission like that real soon.

Niko: I was joking!

Ray: Sh*t, Nicky! You’re just as stubborn as Johnny! Both of you don’t even allow me to talk!

Niko: (sighs) Just get to the point, Ray.

Ray: Ok, ok. Listen, this time, you’re working as my pizza delivery guy. I’m giving you a list of houses to deliver pizza to. Please, respect this job for not many of my hired thugs have been given this opportunity.

Niko: Ya know? It might help, considering I’m always in need of extra cash.

Ray: That’s the spirit! Now get going! Nothing quite says impatient like a bunch of Alderney dwellers waiting on pizza.

Niko and Ray are then seen walking out of Drusilla’s.

Ray: Here’s your special car, Nicky. Hop in. It’s not gonna bite ya!

Niko now has to get in the car and drive to two waypoints shown on the radar. Once he gets to the third house, things begin to get interesting! Niko rings the doorbell then all of the sudden, some members of the Northwood Dominican street gang burst open the door.

Gangster: Hey! Look! It’s the crazy bohunk who killed Teddy!

Gangster: Shoot his ass!

Niko: F*cking Ray!

A small shootout begins then Niko has to drive away from the area, losing a two star wanted level. Niko calls Ray after losing his wanted level.

Niko: Ray! You f*cking asshole! You set me up and I know it!

Ray: What on Earth are you talking about?

Niko: Those Dominicans from that same gang as the Teddy guy you previously had me kill ambushed me as I was about to deliver pizza to their house!

Ray: Sorry, Nicky! I had NO idea! Honest! Come back and meet me at Drusilla’s.

Once Niko gets back to Drusilla’s..

Niko: (gets out of car and slams the door shut) Sorry Ray, I’m gonna have to continue being a hired gun! This pizza thing isn’t working out so well!

Ray: Very well, then. I’ll get Johnny to be my pizza guy instead. I’ll still be in touch, though.

In a post mission phone call, Niko calls Patrick.

Niko: Packie, has Ray ever had you deliver pizzas for him?

Patrick: No way. Has he had you do it?

Niko: Yes. That’s why I’m asking you.

Patrick: Sh*t, I can sense that Ray is playing favorites with you. I’m still your friend, though, and that’s the important bit, even if you are becoming a teacher’s pet.

Niko: I no longer do it though.

Patrick: I guess that makes things a little better. (hangs up)

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Posted (edited)

Random Encounter (Playboy X)

Note: This fan-made random encounter is only available if you kill Dwayne and it is completely optional. It is also available at any time after killing Dwayne but ONLY if you chose that option.


Niko has to enter Playboy X’s penthouse in order to activate the random encounter.

Playboy X is sitting on the sofa while smoking a cigar and wearing a suit and tie instead of his usual clothing with two of his fellow gang members drinking booze. Two of his other gang members are playing pool in the background. 
Playboy X: (to a gang member sitting on his right) Yo momma so hairy that her real name is Harold!
All three gang members sitting on the sofa (including Playboy X) crack up in laughter then all of the sudden, Niko walks in.

Playboy X: Hey! I told you to stay away from me! Did I not speak that in your native language of Russian or some other related sh*t?
Niko: I just want to talk things out.

Playboy X: What the f*ck is there to be talked out? Was the money not enough for you or is this about Dwayne? I mean, either way, it’s nothing THAT confusing, money.

Niko: (draws his gun) You told me to kill Dwayne and I have felt guilty about it. Now, I’m gonna avenge him by killing you!
Playboy X: (stands up and every gang member except him stops what they’re doing and points their handguns at Niko) Whoa! Hold up there, money! It was NOT my fault that Dwayne died! You deliberately chose the option that I suggested! His blood is on your hands! So don’t come back to me when I specifically told you to leave me alone over something that is entirely YOUR FAULT! I suggest if you want to still live, you just walk the other way and leave!
Niko: This time, it’s gonna be your blood on my hands as well!
Playboy X: (draws his pistol and begins shooting as Niko takes cover) Cap this fool!
Niko has to take out all gangsters, including Playboy X and the random encounter ends there. He will also get the mansion as a safe house and as a reward.

Edited by Outlaw Biker Viking
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On 1/10/2016 at 7:13 PM, Inadaquacy said:

Mission Name: Warm Welcome


Mission Giver: Jon Gravelli & UL Paper Contact



Mission Given: After “Dining Out”



Mission Plot:






Niko receives a call from Jon Gravelli shortly after killing Kim-Young Guk at the Korean restaurant. Gravelli congratulates him on a job well done on the last mission and asks him to come visit him at the hospital for another job. Niko drives to the hospital and enters the room to meet with Gravelli.






Gravelli: Ah…Niko, always good to see you.



Niko: Good to see you too Mr. Gravelli.



Gravelli: You did a good job taking care of our little problem there in Alderney. A fine job indeed.



Niko: (chuckles) Eh, I aim to please, you know?



Gravelli: Yes, yes..a decent man in a town filled with f*cking roaches. It seems like some people aren’t getting the message. Our friend over at the Paper has been following a group of Guk’s friends who are heading towards our shores with another batch of false money.



Niko: That is a problem.



Gravelli: I don’t care about the money at this point, I was a counterfeiter for years. What I have a problem with are these jokers with the nerve to think they can come back and set up shop with impunity. I want you to take those f*ckers out, I want their ashes at the bottom of the Humboldt. The Paper will be in touch will call you when they are near the shore.



Niko: Understood.






12 in-game hours pass.






(Niko’s phone rings, it’s Roman)



Roman: Cousin, it is your cousin, how about we hang out together?



(Niko accepts by default)



Niko: Yes cousin, I will collect you in an hour.






(Niko picks up Roman at the Middle Park East safehouse)



Roman: Good to see you man, let’s go.






(Niko has the option to take Roman to any friend activity. After the activity ends, he receives a call from the UL Paper contact)






UL Paper: Bellic, the Koreans are almost in town. I need you down at the docks in Westdyke. Now.



Niko: sh*t man, I ki-



UL Paper: Was I speaking English? Get down there now. I’ve sent some backup for you in case things get heavy. They’re waiting for you in a speedboat. Call me when this is over. Goodbye.



(call ends)






Niko: sh*t.



Roman: What’s up, man?



Niko: I have to go, Roman, I must be at the docks in Westdyke.



Roman: Cousin, let me come with you.



Niko: What?



Roman: Come on man, I need to see what kind of crazy sh*t you do in your line of work. Plus, I already gave Mallory the story of how I killed Vlad at least a dozen times, I need some new material!



Niko: You are insane, I cannot put you in danger like this, Roman. These are serious people.



Roman: Relax, man. I can handle myself fine.



Niko: (scoffs) Oh yeah, what about that time with the Russians?



Roman: They caught me off guard! What I can I say? I wasn’t ready. You saved my ass man, let me help you out this time.



Niko: Roman…



Roman: Let’s go.






(Niko and Roman arrive at the docks in Westdyke and spot the speedboat with two men dressed in suits sitting in the back seats of a Dinghy. Niko and Roman approach them.)






Niko: You guys the feds?



Fed 1: Yeah, the boss sent us out to cover your ass.



Niko: You’re quite charming, aren’t you.



Fed 2: Just don’t turn the guns on us and everything will be fine.



Fed 1: (points to Roman) Hey, who the hell is this, we’re only here to insure one of you.



Niko: He’s, eh, he’s some more backup I brought in. A regular sharpshooter.



Fed 1: Whateva. Just get in and let’s get this over with. I gotta meet my date at the 69th street diner in two hours.






(Niko and Roman get in the boat and take the driver and front passenger seat, respectively)






Fed 2: Aight, coordinates are showing the boats are coming in from the northwest. It looks like they stopped up, the blip ain’t moving. Let’s head over and neutralize them.






(They proceed toward the map marker)






(conversation en route)



Niko: So, has the government always taken orders from the mob?



Fed 1: Hey smartass, why don’t you just drive the boat.



Niko: Hey, just curious.



Fed 1: I don’t know why they hired an immigrant to do this job. Coulda easily hired an American who loves this country, probably will get the job done right, too.



Niko: (angrily) What the hell are you talking about?



Fed 2: Nothing, chill, ok? Both of you stop talking.






(Arrives at map marker, it’s a boat that is abandoned)






Fed 1: What the hell? Phillips, did you put bad info in the GPS or something?



Fed 2: No! This is what we got from the Contact. It’s good.



Fed 1: Well clearly it f*cking ain’t! Ain’t nobody in the boat!



Fed 2: That ain’t m-






(Three boats come from behind and start firing at the Dinghy)






Korean: We got you, you cocksuckers!



(Both feds are killed, Roman cowers under the seat)



Niko: Awh, sh*t!






(cutscene ends, Niko begins to chase the boats, taking fire)






Roman: sh*t! sh*t! sh*t!



Niko: I told you, you dumb prick, this wasn’t for you!



Roman: I don’t want to die here man!



Niko: We are not going to die here!






(Niko pursues each of the speedboats and guns down all of the attackers. Roman remains under the seat, sobbing and speaking gibberish. Niko tails behind the final speedboat, which goes over a makeshift stunt jump, Niko speeds his boat up and jumps after it)






Roman: OH MY GOD!






(Niko finishes the attackers in the last speedboat. By this time, the Dinghy is emitting black smoke) (A map marker is set for the docks in Northwood)






(Niko arrives at the map marker)






Niko: Roman, you can come out now.



Roman: (still sobbing) Is it finished? Is it over?



Niko: Yes, now get up.



Roman: Oh man, I think I sh*t my pants!



Niko: Now you see why I don’t take you to my job? Go home and get changed man.



Roman: Oh man, oh man, I hope Mallory isn’t home. She can’t see me like this!



Niko: If she asks, just tell her you were fighting zombie Vlad or something. (laughs)



Roman: (aggravated) I’m glad you still can find time to laugh at my expense, Niko!



Niko: Sorry, man. Go shower and relax and we will hang out soon.












Reward: $20,000






Reasons for possible mission failure:



Niko dies



Boat explodes



Niko loses the escaping goons












(Niko’s phone rings, it’s UL Paper)






UL Paper: So, I heard you decided to take your fearless cousin with you on the job. Come on man, really?



Niko: Hey, he lasted longer than your backup. What the f*ck was that?



UL Paper: Hey, you’re both alive, so why does it matter?



Niko: Yeah, no thanks to you, asshole.



UL Paper: Oh, I’m sorry. I’m guessing your cousin can find the man you’re looking for then?



Niko: No, I need you to do that favor for me.



UL Paper: Then cut the insubordination. I’ll be in touch when I have more work. Goodbye.






(Call ends)






I based this mission of a cut mission that was shown in one of the trailers. It shows Niko and Roman in a boat with what looks like some FIB agents. I believe it is in trailer 3. Probably not my best work, but I hope you all enjoyed.


Hey! Is that that screenshot showed previously?

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Mission given by: Yusuf

After: For the Man Who has Everything


Plot: Yusuf makes Luis an more crazy job than the last one: Got The Motherf*cker Felicity Statue


After the last mission, Yusuf will sned you an text message.


Hey, Luis, you did a good job with the last work, are you prepared for the next? Meet me at the construction site.

Luis arrives at the construction site, where he sees Yusuf

-Hey! My friend Luis!

-What do you want now?

-Well, remember when you stole the train car?

-What do you want? An Big Boy?

-It's not a bad idea, but it is in San Fierro

-I won't go to San Fierro just for get an locomotive. It's 4-8-8-4 plus her tender!

-I DON'T WANT STEAM ENGINES! They are too old

-f*ck you man, they are the beggining of you new train car. Now, tell me what do you want.

-Well, the Happiness Statue!

-No, no, no! I just want it!

-Don't you think the police will see it? It's almost 400.000 feets tall.

-So you're going to get or no?

-Not really, sorry.

(Luis tries to get out of the construction site, but Yusuf stops he)

-I will pay you a lot of money!

-... How much?

-How about... Four Houndred Millions?


-Ten Hundred Millions?



-Well, what I do?

-Hey, thanks. there is a Skylift with the Buzzard weapons in the top of the Get a Life building: Go there, get the Skylift, go to Happiness Island and lift it!

-What if there is the police?

-Well, i don't know, you do it!


Go to the Get a life building.


(Luis go to the building in an Maverick)


Now, go to the Happiness Island and get the Statue


(When you get close to the Happiness Island, an cutscene will jump it is an police seeing Luis lifting the Statue, then you get an 11 star wanted level (yes, an 11 star  wanted level) and you have to destroy 11 helicopters, once destroyed, and subtittle will appear)


Go and leave the statue in Yusuf Apartment


Once you get there, and cutscene will play:


-Thanks, man, really thank you!

-I almost got killed, now give me my f*cking money!

-Sure man!


After the mission you get $999 thousand trillions.


Post Mission Call:


T: Have you seen the heist to the Happiness Statue? Crazy isn't it? 

L: It was Yusuf, T

T: Holy sh*t! And you did it?

L: I'm literally rich right now.

T: Well, please don't do nothing more for he...

L: I don't think i'd be working for him in a while...


After I saw that dialogue, I have to do it xD

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Laser Tag (TLAD)

This fan-made mini game is available at any time before Jim Fitzgerald dies.


Johnny calls Jim.

Johnny: Hey Jim, wanna go play laser tag?
Jim: Of course, brother! We’ll need at least four players though. I’ll phone in Clay and Terry.

Johnny: Alright! I’ll see all three of you there! (hangs up)
Johnny has to drive to the waypoint then walk into a building and into the back area that is dark where he’ll meet Jim, Clay, and Terry.
The four of them are then all seen with laser tag gear on.

Johnny: Jim, you and I are on the blue team. Clay, Terry, you two are on the red team.

Terry: Fair enough!

Clay: Let’s do this thing, brothers!

Everyone has nine lives and the shooting controls are the exact same as when you normally do it. You can also refill ammo at a station.

If the blue team wins, Jim and Johnny will high five each other.

Jim: F*ck yeah! Good call, Johnny! That was a blast!
If the red team wins, Clay and Terry will high five each other.

Clay: I feel young again!

As the four of them head out, regardless of who wins, Johnny will say “Nice playing with you brothers.”

Jim: Any time! (rides off with the other two)

There will be no post-hangout phone call from anyone if it is played after Billy is arrested. However, if it is played before Billy Grey is arrested, he will give Johnny a call. If Johnny answers...

Billy: Johnny, where have you, Jim, Clay, and Terry been?
Johnny: Playing laser tag. What’s it to you?

Billy: (cracks up) How f*cking old are you guys? Do the four of you think you’re still teenagers?
Johnny: Shut up, Billy! You know our ages! Unlike you and Brian, we actually know how to have a fun time. (hangs up)

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