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Do you have a hard time making/keeping friends?


Crazyeighties
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I decided to ask this after someone I though was a "friend" ended up being just another asshole who used me for my kindness again. I don't get it people always do this to me act like tey are friends but end up just using me then in the end treating me like sh*t and making me feel like trash. So getting back to the topic, Do you find it hard to make/keep friends? Personally I have the hardest time. First off I'm very quiet. My health also is unpredictable. So it makes it hard for me to meet new friends. When I do make them it's good for a while then something goes wrong, and it turns to sh*t every time. I don't think I have one real true friend in the world I just wish I knew why people don't like me. I mean I'm respectful I don't have a mean bone in my body. I'm the kind of person that will give the shirt off his back and the last dime to his name to help someone out, yet people always end up just building walls and keeping me out This sucks

Edited by Crazyeighties
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I'm friends with Harley

I AM SORRY ABOUT THE QUALITY OF THE VIDEO, BUT MY WEBCAM IS ABSOLUTELY RUBBISH.

 

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I'm friends with Harley

Is that your motorcycle? Does it talk like in Kino's Journey or something?

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I'm friends with Harley

Is that your motorcycle? Does it talk like in Kino's Journey or something?

 

My Harley is named Greg

I AM SORRY ABOUT THE QUALITY OF THE VIDEO, BUT MY WEBCAM IS ABSOLUTELY RUBBISH.

 

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Tell us the specifics of why your friendships fail OP, so the internet can help you become a fully functioning social butterfly.

9QRzUfn.gif?1

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My Harley is named Greg

How often do you ride Greg?

JP0cYXG.png

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My Harley is named Greg

How often do you ride Greg?

 

Basically daily? Please get back on topic, though. This is about Crazyeighties' social inadequacies.

 

 

Edited by JIMHO
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Making friends is easy. Keeping them through time is the hard deal.

 

People tend grow apart and follow different steps, especially during that transition stage between Highschool and College since everybody needs to choose a carreer. That happened to me 2 years ago and since then I've got used to being lonely, apart from my family, cousins, etc.

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Fri(end)s.

 

See how that works?

ppNaW16.png

 

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IveGotNoValues

This thread pretty much sums up my social life. I'm with you man. When I actually do manage to make an amazing friendship (which is rare), it always ends up fading away. I'll admit, sometimes its my fault cause I do have a problem with pushing people away silently when I get really depressed, but this past year the friendships I've lost were not my fault at all. These people pushed me away, and now I see how much it hurts to be on the other end. Anyway, I still have two friends left, and I'm gonna try to maintain them.

 

As for making new friends, I've never really had luck there at all. Most people just don't like me. I've never done anything to hurt them, but I guess they see me and just assume i'm a dick. Maybe they're scared of me, but i'm a really skinny guy that honestly couldn't hurt anyone so I don't see why they'd be scared of me. Recently though I've just decided to stop trying to make new friends. The few friends I've made in my life showed up when I least expected them to, so if people are supposed to come into my life i'll just let fate bring them to me. I'm done trying so hard and failing miserably. Two friends is enough for me.

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I dont understand what im supposed to put in parentheses and what im not

 

EDIT: its a bracket sorry guys I went to public school

Edited by theadmiral

I AM SORRY ABOUT THE QUALITY OF THE VIDEO, BUT MY WEBCAM IS ABSOLUTELY RUBBISH.

 

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I'm with you man.

 

I read this as, "I'm with a man." Can someone please relate to me on this topic?

I dont understand what im supposed to put in parentheses and what im not

 

EDIT: its a bracket sorry guys I went to public school

I went to private school, so I'm really confused now.

Edited by JIMHO
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Tell us the specifics of why your friendships fail OP, so the internet can help you become a fully functioning social butterfly.

I will give the example from this week, I'm in a scooter (Vespa club) and one of the members is planning a ride, so I sent him a Facebook message telling him that it had an idea for a route if he wanted it, he went off the rail and started to tell me how I never check the ride sceduals (I do every day) and at the time I checked the ride schedule it had not been updated and it said we are still looking for ideas. So I told him this this seemed to piss him off even more then he said " I have told you dozens of times not to message me on FB. We already have a route" when the fact is he never said anything of the sort. I archive my messages and I looked through and never found anything of the sort. I know he does not like phone calls but any time we have chatted online it was by FB. Then he started to talk sh*t about my physical disabilities. Then he told me to f*ck off Get lost and he did not want to be friends any more.

 

 

Another so called friend told me that he did not want to be friends anymore because they thought "me having cancer" got between the friendship (even though I try not to let this stuff get in the way)

 

It really hurts that people just toss me aside like a peice of trash ,I mean when's friend need help, or just someone to talk to I'm there: what did I do to deserve people treating me like rubbish

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so if people are supposed to come into my life i'll just let fate bring them to me. I'm done trying so hard and failing

 

That's a really good point, as I'm sure you understand it's just hard with no friends that I can lean on when I need it.!

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I dont understand what im supposed to put in parentheses and what im not

 

EDIT: its a bracket sorry guys I went to public school

 

You was correct the first time, I can see that public education coming in hand!

 

 

Anyways, it means it all comes to an end anyways. Who cares.

ppNaW16.png

 

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I don't tend to trust people. I tend to be friendly but I am a very reserved person. I just have two or three REAL friends I can trust and tell everything.

Edited by Palikari
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I don't tend to trust people. I tend to be friendly but I am a very reserved person. I just have two or three REAL friends I can trust and tell everything.

Same here. I used to trust more in people in the past, but sh*t happens..

I'm always friendly and a good guy, but I'm also careful in certain things.

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I seem to attract those type of people who do shady things and do hard drugs and alcohol the types my younger sister like.

 

Five months after my mother died in the spring of 2006 I choose to go on the straight and narrow path and not lie or steal, I got Rid of the idiots in my life around the same time, owe I disowned my younger sister ten years ago, she's a burden on society.

"You don't understand! I could've had class. I could've been a contender. I could've been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am."

                                                                                                                                                   

                                                                                                                                                                           On the Waterfront 1954 M.Brando

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Youre too nice to them thats why you loose them. People this days seem more to like people who dont give a sh*t about them.

Edited by GtaFiveLs
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universetwisters

People say I get really clingy and that's why I don't have a lot of friends it seems.

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I have one good friend. God knows how I kept her after college.

 

I would much rather have a girlfriend than lots of friends

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I'll say this all once and never again.

 

I have a hard time making friends with women, because other women have ruined it for other women, if you get my meaning. In short, i haven't met one in years where they have been sincere..

 

I have one male friend I say I trust, there's another who calls me friend, but I don't feel the same way for various reasons. You need to go away if I notice you are always asking me for things, or I get a bad vibe when I need you to help with something(or generally just not being there for me when it counts). My loyalty was more of a flaw over the years, and people took advantage of that, while not offering me the same kind of loyalty in return.

 

Overall, I am a loner. My FB is dead, I don't own a phone, I haven't used messengers in years, and I don't have any forum/net friends for that matter. I pretend very well that it doesn't bother me, but there are times where it is agonizing. Even as a kid when I had lots of "friends", sure at the time I foolishly thought they were real friends, but memories and realization have a way of bringing you back down to reality. And I find myself faced with the truth that I've always been my only real friend.

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I dunno, I think it's easy to get along with people, but if you have a sh*tty personality that I don't like it won't go further than that. First impressions count big time. However, creating long lasting friendships are harder. A lot of the times I make friends because of the situations I am in - such as school or my job. It makes sense to become friends with people in those situations.. however, there will only ever be a select few that I truly get along with and those are usually the ones who I end up actually hanging out with outside of school/work. I think it's so important for there to be a common interest(the more the better) when developing friendships.. it also helps to start off by asking acquaintances a lot of questions about themselves to really get a feel for the type of person they are and whether or not you see yourself wanting to invest into a person like them. Plus people LOVE getting asked about themselves it seems because it shows you're interested in them.

Edited by EphemeralStar

69KznXU.png

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making friends is easy, all you need is a lock of someone's hair and the necronomicon

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LQayY8P.jpg

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My day-to-day routine usually exposes me to a lot of people. Making other people like me is something I've found to be extremely helpful in a professional level; it's a skill. Becaue of that, I cafted it and am pretty damn good at it at this point. Making friends is a breeze for me, wether they be less intelligent people, smart people, drunks, priests, "players," eternal virgins, young people, old people, etc. After a while, it becomes second nature to gauge what the person will find appealing and the general approach you should take when speking to certain groups of people, which makes it very easy to make friends.

 

The issue with me comes with keeping in touch with people. I'm a very, very, very busy man. I don't have that much free time, and the time I do have free I like to spend either resting or talking with two or three people in particular or with family. That and the fact that I'm exposed to a lot of different people kind of makes it hard to keep track of names (thank God for phone books). I wouldn't say I lose friends, I just don't really talk to them much outside of wherever I see them on my day-to-day routine.

 

If you're having issues making friends, I suggest the following:

  • Stop overthinking it. Be the one to break the ice. People like talking, they're just shy.
  • Stop giving a sh*t. Do what you want to do and don't let other people's bullsh*t hold you back.
  • But above all: be confident.

I cannot stress just how much being confident will help you in life. ALWAYS be confident. You can be confident in every single situation you could think of. The way you talk, the way you walk, the way you communicate with people. You can be confident when you're not confident by saying exactly that (confusing, I know). I had to up my game in regards to getting out there and talking with people this year for personal reasons, and just in the span of the last 9 months I had:

  • Three job offers. I didn't apply for anything.
  • A temp job at a pretty up-there place. It offered me a permanent position and to pay for my graduate studies.
  • While actively trying to avoid relationships/talking to women outside of a professional spectrum and being pretty damn fat from stress weight gain, I've had two or three very attractive women ask me out.
  • A good number of people essentially asking if they could write me letters of recommendation and/or that I should add them to my references.

Among other things.

 

All of these came primarily from the confident way I have been carrying myself. A few years ago, I wasn't really much into this sort of thing. But I had straight-As, academic awards, etc. and that didn't take me half as far as just plain being confident did. I see this a lot, too. REALLY smart people who are good at what they do end up underemployed or underappreciated because they're afraid to speak up and ask for something.

 

sh*t I feel like my high school counselor.

Edited by DeafMetal
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