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♆ Zeets: The key to a stress-free life. ♆


The Leviathan
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This is the bible for The Church of McConaughism.

so yeah, this is science fiction. Enjoy!

PARA 1. What is a Zeet?

 

We all have stress in our lives. It's something that we can never escape from. It devours our very core. We all try different methods of relieving stress. Some of us may be able to combat it for awhile, but it somehow returns. We don't know why... it just does. When we are stressed, our Zeet levels (how stressed we are mentally), begin to cluster... causing us to not be able to function properly. We could become depressed, anxious, scared, ect. A Zeet attaches itself to one's inner soul, and doesn't let go until treated properly.

 

PARA 2. Humor

 

Humor is an important part of combating stress. It makes one forget about the proceedings of their life for a bit, and really kick lose. It melts away all sorrows, doubt, and so on. If one was to pop in a Jim Carrey movie and watch it start to finish, pssh, you will be grinning and feeling pretty good, no doubt! So if we can imply this certain element to one's life 24/7, then I think we can truly push humanity in a better direction. Kill every Zeet there is.

 

PARA 3. Masterbation

 

Very important to getting rid of Zeets. Masterbating releases eldorphin and medamorsel chemicals in your body once you get to the state of "release." Your Zeets just rejuvenate... become less. All that stress, washed away after a good session. The more often you do it, the more alert you will become. Not only of yourself... but your surroundings.

 

PARA 4. COMING SOON!

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With recent events, warnings and threats, I think it's best you take some time out and steer clear of this area for a while (not forever; i can't ban you from a section). I'm going to lock this, for now at least. Please respect this polite request and, when you think you can show people respect, which you claimed to a long time ago, then you can return. Also do not recruit or insight others to troll on your behalf. I will lock and hide and warn anything/one I feel is breaching this.



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The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.


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