Memorable quotes.

[LanaDelRey888]

.. now see girl? That's why you're the undisputed weaker sex and we're humiliating you on the radio!

Name one woman wrestler who's any good.

Name the first woman on the moon.. ha, trick question.

Name one woman pro football player.

How many women wrote Shakespeare's Plays?

Answer me. YOU CAN'T.

And you, are gonna have to go through life as the weaker sex.

 

--

 

Now, all rise.

Please be seated.

Rise again.

Now GET DOWN!

*America's Next Top Hooker in the background*

 

--

 

Alright, you have ten seconds to tell the truth.. or you'll be set on fire!

*This isn't fair!*

Haha.. welcome to American justice, lady! (burns her)

 

--

 

*Court begun*

Mr. Davis, can can you explain yourself?

Your Honor, that female is crazy.

Yeah.. sounds like the truth to me.

*knocks*

Court is adjourned!

[Facepalm38]

"You forget a thousand things every day, make sure this is one of them" - Michael Townley/De Santa

"F*ck pizza, f*ck everything it stands for!" - Trevor Phillips

"Maybe if you got rid of that old yee-yee ass haircut, maybe you could get some bitches on your dick. Niiiguuuh" - Lamarr Davis

"You stupid malaka!" - GTA IV Greek Taxi driver

"Did you steal yo license?!" - Carl "CJ" Johnson

"Mayday, Mayday! Buzzard 1 is going down!" - Buzzard 1

"Ever had two women at once? Four big titties to be playing with?" - Roman Bellic

"See you around, officer" - Carl "CJ" Johnson

"I'm glad this is not my car!" - Niko Bellic
"SHE'S ON FIIREEE" - GTA III Radio station song

"You want me to pull out my dick again?" - Trevor Phillips
"Pants go down, penis comes out" - Written on Trevor's helicopter

Edited August 29, 2014 by LucarioVercetti

[Mr_Leone]

YOU sh*t IN THE AIR FILTER? HAAAHAHAHA!

[Sussus Amongus]

"Hey there Officer, nice badge, nice badge." -Lance Vance

Edited August 29, 2014 by Cakelover21

[Majestic81]

"Yelloow carrr!" Niko

"Suck my circumcised cock deadbeats" Johnny

"Anyone looking for a fat slav with a bladder problem?" Johnny

"You know, if there is one thing I have learned its that we must obey the rules of the game. We can pick the game, Niko Bellic, but we cannot change the rules." Dimitri

Roman: I don't want to die man, not like this!

Niko: How would you like to die!?

Roman: Having a threesome on my hundredth birthday? I don't know!

Niko: It's done.

United Liberty Paper: Don't you think I know that? You think I've sitting around scratching my balls with my head up my ass?

Niko: I'd be impressed if you had been.

Edited August 29, 2014 by Majestic81

[unbid]

"No!!! Car is rented!!!"

 

I love the accent of that random pedestrian who said that!

[LiniArc]

Michael:Keep doing what U are doing

 

Michael:I thought I was a Good Dad

[ten-a-penny]

 

 

 

This video alone sh*ts on all the quotes in all the other GTA games.

[PowerKracker]

 

 

 

This video alone sh*ts on all the quotes in all the other GTA games.

Holy crap, I just checked out the channel and it's a goldmine! I can just listen to all the different soundclips from the game files, but I like the convenience.

I sure do miss 3D Universe ped quotes... GTA IV did have some fun ones but they were already fading.

Edited August 29, 2014 by AlfredNTheFettuc

[Shadowfennekin]

Pretty much everything Lamar said.

 

"I got to f*ck somebody, do you want me to f*ck you instead? Take off your pants cowboy, let's... let's f*ck." -Trevor

 

"YELLOW CAR!" -Niko

 

"Your cousin's girl likes sticky ends too, you should get together." -Vlad

"Screw you! Say that to my face you f*ck!" -Niko

 

"For once in your life act like a man!" -Johnny

[chainsoar]

Vlad:You know for dumb yokel you really funny guy. Niko:Yes and for an annoying dick, you're really an annoying dick.

 

"Well, it is a shame then that I am the guy with the powerful friends, and you are the little punk who's only friend is a fat weasel who drives a f*cking cab!"

[LanaDelRey888]

The reason that your husband is in there lootin', wankin', and swingin' his wizard junk around is 'cause you got fat and stopped being sexy.

I wouldn't even bang you.

And I've done a lot of trolls in my time..

Look at yourself, girl!

Get some plastic surgery!

 

--

 

EQUALITY?!

Let me get back my vote, woman.

Let me guess who bustin' his ass all day at work.

Let me guess who makes the most money.

I know. It's Chuck. It's the MAN.

You know who made the most money throughout history? MEN.

Who been the greatest leaders? MEN.

Maybe you had Cleopatra but Egyptians live in triangles and sh*t. A triangle is not MANLY.

Who fought the best wars? MEN.

Who made the best murderers? MEN.

Who invented the plague? MEN.

We got it all, bitch, we run this show.

And I don't give a f*ck who knows it!

i

[Johnny Spaz]

big dog, big nuts

[make total destroy]

"I know a place on the edge of the Redlight District where we can lay low, but my hands are all messed up, so you better drive, brother."

[Pavle]

"Dumb. Florida. Moron"-Tommy Vercetti

[Xerukal]

 

 

 

 

 

This video alone sh*ts on all the quotes in all the other GTA games.

I disagree.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited August 30, 2014 by Xerukal

[Majestic81]

Anything the black homeless guy says is golden:

 

You ain't stealing no more sperm from me, alien!

The ship is descending, I gots to escape!

Stop haunting me mom, or I'll kill you again

Mommy, is that you inside that man?

[sqre]

Ken) i poke my my head out of the gutter for one

freakin' second and fate shovels $h!t in my face.

 

Lance) fits perfectly.

Tommy) a little tight in the crouch.

[Curtis]

The most touching quote in game history.

 

"In Hawaii they put pineapples on pizza."

-Typical San Andreas pedestrian.

 

The "ofyst" skin.

 

 

[Kampret]

I must say... *as much as I despise CJ*

 

"You steal your license?!"

-CJ

 

EDIT: grammatical "error".

Edited September 4, 2014 by Kampret

[ten-a-penny]

I must say... *as much as I despise CJ*

 

"You stole your license?!" "Did you steal your license!?"

-CJ

I think that's how he used to say, if my memory help me.

[Johan]

GTA IV -

 

Brucie : "Why didn't you tell me it was Niko? Why?" (Turns to Niko) "Man, women!...... man...women!"

 

Niko (After the credits) : "So this is what the dream feels like? This is the victory we longed for."

 

GTA III -

 

Donald Love : "Nothing drives down real estate prices like a good old fashioned gang war, apart from the outbreak of a plague, but that might going too far in this case"

 

GTA SA -

 

While planning the Caligula's Heist

 

Carl Johnson: It seems impossible to keep a secret around here! I would have thought the size of the room would keep the numbers down.
Man #1: Hey, speak up, we can't hear you back here!
Carl Johnson: I appreciate your input, but please, f*ck off.
Man #1: What did he say?
Man #2: He said f*ck off.

 

During Body Harvest

 

Truth : Get it, and then you can pay me. Amaste, Carl.

Carl Johnson: The f*ck that mean? Later, freak.

 

GTA Vice City -

 

Umberto Robina: Anyway, I wanted to tell you, me and Papi, to us, you Cuban. You have proved yourself, man. You got big cojones.
Tommy Vercetti: Well thank you, Umberto. Nobody's said that to me since I left jail.

 

Phil Cassidy: Hilary has abandonment issues. Something about his momma.
Tommy Vercetti: Abandonment issues? What a freak. Why can't I meet someone that's normal for a change?

 

GTA LCS -

 

Toni talking to Maria : What was it this time, huh? Smack? Downers? Ludes? A little too much trumpet? Not enough Diceypam? A little too much sideways, not enough up?

GTA VCS -

 

Lance Vance: [Yelling] Will you shut up, you stupid gorilla?

 

Vic Vance: Do you think we can trust Diaz?
Lance Vance: My man Diaz is a businessman.
Vic Vance: Great. That's a "no" then.

 

 

These are the main ones that come to mind, obviously I Google'd most of them so I can quote them word by word.. since most of them I remember but end up getting words mixed up.

There was one more that I liked from LCS but it was a bit extreme and didn't want to break any rules on the forum if anything. Here's the cutscene though

 

 

Edited September 4, 2014 by Johan

[Kampret]

 

I must say... *as much as I despise CJ*

 

"You stole your license?!" "Did you steal your license!?"

-CJ

I think that's how he used to say, if my memory help me.

 

 

Nah man, just played SA, CJ said both of those lines.

[ten-a-penny]

 

 

I must say... *as much as I despise CJ*

 

"You stole your license?!" "Did you steal your license!?"

-CJ

I think that's how he used to say, if my memory help me.

Nah man, just played SA, CJ said both of those lines.

Weird. I've been playing SA ever since I was 12 and I never hear him say "stole"

[Kampret]

 

 

 

I must say... *as much as I despise CJ*

 

"You stole your license?!" "Did you steal your license!?"

-CJ

I think that's how he used to say, if my memory help me.

Nah man, just played SA, CJ said both of those lines.

Weird. I've been playing SA ever since I was 12 and I never hear him say "stole"

 

 

Oh crap, yeah I meant "steal", sorry for that mate.

[US Marshal1911]

"If you're just coming to consciousness in a strange bed next to a fat chick with underwear and beer cans scattered across the floor, run the hell out and get to the clinic"

K-DST "the Dust" Tommy Smith

Edited September 4, 2014 by US Marshal1911

[The-Ghost]

-

 

 

Edited June 23, 2023 by MaddenedGhost

[Ducard]

"You know what tough guy? It's... It's time you grow the f*ck up. I mean, I admit I am a bad piece of work, but that guy? That piece of sh*t? No boundaries, no sense of when to back off. No nothin! Twenty-four seven insanity, day in, day out! Never regretted nothin, cared for nothin. Well f*ck him. I mean there's gotta be a limit kid. You know, a point when assholes like us say enough is e-f*cking nough. Human stew... that's my limit. I know that now."

 

- Michael De Santa after Ending A.

Edited November 22, 2014 by Ducard

[Red Hat]

 

[Ezza.]

Pretty much this entire conversation