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Memorable quotes.

Recommended Posts


Nice Ass Baby!


Flash FM on GTA VCS

TERI: Hold your breath, blow a kazoo, it's time for a commercial breakdown!

TONI: Which is better than a mental breakdown, Teri's had three of those.

TERI: You're a witch.

TONI: You're a bitch!

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"Yeah, The Michael f*cked me." - Trevor


"You got a bag over your head boy, how you feel about that?" - Tenpenny


"Nigga go toss a salad Stretch mark ass bitch." - Franklin


"Homie you sound like some bitch he didn't call like 'ooh he lied to meee'." - Lamar


"Nobody is watching anybody watching nobody." - Toreno

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"Say goodnight, Mr. Diaz" - Lance Vance Dance Chance Stance France Romance Advance Rance Nance

Fixed that one for you pal.

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Franklin had some great lines.


To Stretch:

"So I f*cked your girl, mugged your moms, and better yet I ain't thought about your ass in years."

To Michael:

"You know what Mike? You're a real easy dude to identify with. Poor me. Poor me. Man, pour me a drink nigga."

Franklin sums up GTAV:

"We just took the biggest score in the history of scores and you bitches just wanna moan? 'My momma never loved me. My friends never loved me. I'm mad because I'm rich. I'm sad because I'm successful.' Man, this sh*t is pathetic."

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Son of Zeus

'I am blind Carl, not stupid'- Wu Zi Mu 'Ice cold, baby!'- Big Smoke 'You still a busta to me. Don't expect me to kiss your ass or nothing'- Ryder

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Algonquin Assassin

"Life is complicated. When the war came I did bad things; after the war I thought nothing of doing bad things. I killed people, smuggled people, sold people. Perhaps here things will be different.."



"After you walk into a village, and you see fifty children, all sitting neatly in a row against the church wall, each with their throats cut and their hands chopped off, you realize that the creature that could do this doesn't have a soul."



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"Ahhh sh*t, here we go again, worst place in the world, Rollin Heights Balla Country. I ain't represented Grove Street in 5 years but the Ballas won't give a sh*t" - CJ

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"What you mean f*ck this employee of the month sh*t man, when their is some sh*t to be won god dammit I want it I don't give a f*ck what it is. You know what I'm talking about, I take no prisoners, I go hard doing this sh*t, big dog big nuts. When names is on the motha f*ckin board I wanna see my name at the top of the motha f*cka and next to it it needs to say "winner"" - Lamar Davis

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You ruined me you f*ck! - Niko to Darko, after 10 years of searching.

Edited by Mr_Leone
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Drunken Cowboy

"How do you want to die?"

"During a threesome on my 100th birthday? I don't f*cking know, man!" - Fatty Roman to Cousin Niko



"You know, for dumb yokel, you really are funny guy!"

"Yes, and for an annoying dick, you're really an annoying dick!" - Niko to Vladdy Boy



"In my book, the only good lawyer's a dead one; and if you don't pull the case from Dave Grossman you're gonna be one good f*ckin' lawyer, dude!" - Johnny K. to sexual harassment lawyer.



"Billy doesn't see anything that he don't wanna. He'll see anything within smoking, f*cking, and drinking proximity, but he won't see the two ton truck bearing down on him." - Angus Martin






"Are you fat because you're on a scooter? Or: Are you on a scooter because you're fat?"

Edited by Drunken Cowboy
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"I spent all my time running around making morons rich while my family fell apart and the woman I wanted died waiting for me to call!"

Edited by Mr_Leone
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Alex Shrub:


Have you met my lovely wife, Laura? No? Well, unfortunately, she's in Alabama. This is Candy.


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Kaito Katsumi


"FEEL THE FIYA!"-Little Jacob

"My name is Lance Vance, Its time to dance!"- Obviously who.


Lance Vance: Wait up. I'm gonna need some serious artillery for this gig. Hello, Mr. M4! M-FOR-MO-THER-f*ckA! That's right! Let's go!



Lance Vance: My name is Lance Vance! It's time to dance! I'm lean and I'm mean, and I'm here to clean! Come on, Vic. We've got 'em on the run. Man, we are the badasses on the block! Let's get to the next ass-kicking. Did you see me taking 'em down? I'm the black killa from Manila! The Manila Blilla!

Victor Vance: You're a blidiot. Now shut up.


Lance Vance: I'm the Lance Vance-erator! Ain't nothing can hurt me! I'll put you all in a Lance Vance trance! They're running for it. It's time to turn up the pain!

Edited by Kaito Katsumi
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205px-DimitriRascalov-GTAIV.jpg "You know, if there is one thing I've learned, it's that we must obey the rules of the game. We can pick the game, Niko Bellic, but we cannot change the rules."

―Dimitri Rascalov
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As I've already written on this topic, here are some of my favourite quotes:


Kenji Kasen: To be truly strong, it is important that you never show weakness.

Donald Love: Nothing drives down real estate prices like a good old-fashioned gang war.
Donald Love: Experience has taught me that a man like you can be very loyal for the right price.
8-Ball: Stay away from 8-Ball, ladies.
Toni Cipriani: Let's teach these would-be tough guys what it means to be a tough guy!
Tommy Vercetti: What did I tell you before? NO GIANT SHARKS!
Sonny Forelli: You are making an idiot out of me, Tommy, and I'm not laughing yet.
Lance Vance: It's time for the Lance Vance Dance!
Carl 'CJ' Johnson: Don't blame me, blame society.
Zero: As long as we have opposable thumbs, we will fight you!
Vic Vance: I spent all my time running around making morons rich while my family fell apart and the woman I wanted died waiting for me to call!
Niko Bellic: We're all looking for that special someone.
Ashley Butler: Just say the word, sugar, and we'll ride off into the sunset.
Gay Tony: Therapy has a lot to answer for.
Luis Fernando Lopez: It's you and me against the world.
Yusuf Amir: Don't judge a book by its cover, father.
Michael De Santa: We're all professional. We all know the score.
Franklin Clinton: Look homie, I don't mind dying, you feel me? But I just wanna die with something that matters.
Trevor Phillips: My job! My Score! Get your own!
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"All kind of sh*t is out there Bill, all you gotta do is grab it." (Ray Boccino to Billy Grey)

"And that makes you what? A, uhh, sh*t grabber?" (Billy replying to Ray)

"Wow! See, i like how you did that. It was very good, very clever. Almost like a joke, you know? Only it wasn't funny." (Ray back at Billy)


"You don't like me too much, do you?" (Ray Boccino to Johnny Klebitz)

"Does anyone like you too much?" (Johnny replying to Ray)

"I'll tell ya what... You go do this job, you can get yourself some real money and buy yourself some real friends." (Ray back at Johnny)


~Quotes from TLAD

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''Tommy, I love fish. I love fish as a pet, or as dinner on my table: as much as I love them: I don't wanna sleep with them.''


- Ken Rosenberg


''I just saw a f*cking ghost now I gotta hear your crap? Get up! GET UP! No, f*ck you then!''


-Trevor Phillips, after a brutal emotional kill.


''You forget a thousand things everyday, make sure this is one of them.''


-Michael Townley.


''You're about to learn a lesson. Actions have consequences! You screwed me over, now your paying for it. Shame that'll be the second last thing that goes through your head. Goodbye''




''You're the one who is going to learn a lesson! People aren't gunna be happy if you kill me.''




''I've never been popular, I don't mean to start now.''




''I should have put you out of your misery a long time ago. Goodbye, Dimitri''


. - Niko after a cold vengeance executing Dimitri Rascalov.

Edited by Phoenix_Shit
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Naughtius Maximus

Wow... Lots!




Maybe the strong may not be destructive, but the dialogues in V are pretty decent.


After Lamar asks Michael if he knows where the Berto Beach House is...


Franklin: Why don't you ask him if he knows the f*cking owner? Or, better yet do some f*cking skywriting that reads there's a couple of niggas here about to boost some cars in case somebody didn't realize.




Franklin: You a psychopath! You done finally f*ckin' lost it!

Lamar: Nigga, that's that Apache blood in me, homie. You lucky I ain't do a flying tomahawk and scalp they motherf*ckin' ass.


After Frank and Lamar kill a bunch of Vagos and get the bike on Simeon's repo list.




Michael: Go f*ck yourself. Are you some kind of pure, morally justifiable asshole? What, because you're... You're totally psychotic, somehow it's okay?

Trevor: I'm honest, alright? You're the hypocrite.

Michael: Oh yeah, you're a f*cking hero. So far above it all.




Dave tells Mikey and Trev that they need to get money for investigating a research lab up-state...


Michael: Hell, no worries there. Trevor here, he just came into a lot of money.

Trevor: Is that sarcasm?

Michael: Oh you're f*cking A-right it's sarcasm! You f*ck! A few weeks ago, I was happily retired, sulking by my swimming pool, and my psychotic best friend shows up out of nowhere to torture me over the mistakes I made, honest mistakes I made over a decade ago! We, our little posse, are flat f*cking broke, but hey, let's go out and spend two million dollars on a tandem rotor f*cking chopper, so I can go steal nerve gas from f*cking terrorists! Forgive me, you ignorant f*ck, but sarcasm is all I've f*cking got! Sarcasm, and a room full of you c*nts!


Although sometimes it's being f*cking annoying, I liked Michael's sarcastic nature... and it makes the game more decent in terms of dialogues.






"No! I keep doing these favours for you and you pay sh*t. I need this from you. A guarantee that you will find this man. I know he's in this city. So either you give me your word or go f*ck yourself, I'm sick of this sh*t!


- Niko to Ray Boccino during "Museum Piece"


"When I was in the army... we were going on a mission... to ambush a squad who had killed a lot of innocent people. They were our enemies... but we never did it. There were fifteen of us. All boys from the village. But one of us betrayed the group. It was a setup... for money! Twelve people died, three escaped. I know the traitor was not me. So for ten years I've been searching for the other two. One of them lives here."


- Niko to Roman after he kills Uncle Vlad.


These two show how Niko is desperate to shut that old book from ten years ago.




Niko: Down for what?

St.Michael: Down for robbing a thief.

Gordon: Robin Hood!


From Packie's "Waste Not Want Knots"...




Niko: Meds?

Packie: Yeah. Stuff that'll stop housewives cutting wrists and make their husbands get wood. Meds. Mollis, sedatives, antidepressants - meds.


Niko: This better be some good f*cking pills. The housewives better be grateful.


From "Harboring A Grudge".




Phil: So you're the guy who got jumped for a couple of millon?

Niko: Yeah, you gonna pop me for it?


Two badasses playing hard during "No Way on the Subway".




Playboy X: The thing is... you know Jesus? He did some crazy sh*t, too. I mean, everyone does. He killed people. He killed that John the Baptist cat. He did what he had to.

Niko: I don't think you're correct about that.


During "The Holland Play"...




Sure, there are lots but I'm lazy to count them all, for sure.

Edited by TheUnholy
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One of the first GTA IV trailers had this, if it counts.


"Life is complicated. I've killed people, sold people, smuggled people. Perhaps here things will be different" This is the most amazing thing I've ever heard in a trailer and always comes to mind when I think of GTA.

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Payne Killer

Niko bellic trailer.

During the war we did some bad things, and bad things happened to us. I was very young, and very angry. Maybe that is no excuse, but i need money, this pays, and I'm good at it. The creature that could do this, doesn't have a soul.- Niko Bellic

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