Explain Your Last Crime In GTAO To The Arresting Officer

[AboveAndBeyoncé]

The topic is pretty much explainable but here's an example.

 

 

Me: .....and that's what happened

 

Officer: You were flying your military-spec helicopter in civilian airspace without a flight plan or any communication with air traffic control when you decided to launch a missile because you were concerned that it may be "faulty"; at which point, a billion dollar stolen military jet was shot down and crashed in Vespucci Beach killing hundreds of civilians due to the explosion of it hitting the ground.

 

Me: Yes. he had no business flying after me and the civilians should've gotten out the way, that was very irresponsible of them to not get out the area if they saw the jet falling down. Also I'm concerned that many of the gangs in this city seem to have unlimited funds for their vehicle pools. I've been doing my best to seize their assets to prevent further crime.

[PoopyThomas]

Me: Well I was staring at him then he tried to shoot me

 

Officer: That's what you get you dirty scum

[k33g]

"Well, I was driving down the road with no wanted level when you come in from the opposite way. You hit me going mach-10, then proceed to exit your vehicle and blast me with a shotgun."

[SirFiras47]

Officer: You're under arrest for the murder of XxPussySlayer69xX, anything you'll say will be used against you in the court of l ..

Me: Sir,he was driving a chrome adder

Officer: You're free to go

[Governator]

Me: "No, I surrrender!"

 

Officer: "KILLING MAKES MY DICK HARD!" *opens fire*

 

Me: *gags on blood*.

[CaptainMental]

Officer: -"Why were you shooting in the middle of the street?`"

Me: -"They started it!"

[Vehicles]

Me:Hey officer!

Officer:*pulls gun out and open fire*

[hotrats773]

Officer: You were observed having fun playing a video game.

Me: Yeah, I know. Until YOU f*cking showed up. Dick.

 

Every free roam experience.

[happygrowls]

Me: I was waiting for my Taxi when the Ballas Gang open fired on me! It was Self-defence!

Cop: You goin away for a long time boy.

[livejoker]

Officer: So you have no idea where this gentleman came from? *points to dead mugger on the ground*

Me: I swear he was already dead when I got here.

Officer: Uh huh. Well, we got evidence that indicates that your weapon, a Combat MG that is currently illegal to own, fired those rounds found in the gentleman on the ground.

Me: You're accusing me of murder?! I would never do such a thing!

Officer: Well, your mental state is in the red and I'm seeing that Combat MG's barrel smoking from inside your pants.

*back up arrives*

Backup: YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! WE'RE BRINGING YOU DOWNTOWN.......DEAD!

*get shot by cops*

Edited August 9, 2014 by livejoker

[AGNT009]

Hey, YOUR man was going rogue cop, trying to run me off the road. Blowing his head off when he tried to come arrest me was only self preservation.

[soundism]

I put my sniper rifle's crosshairs over a group of police from a few blocks away.

 

SWAT team, who were previously chasing someone else, immediately run me down and kills me with extreme predjudice..... for one star...

[don ovdi' island]

The topic is pretty much explainable but here's an example.

 

 

Me: .....and that's what happened

 

Officer: You were flying your military-spec helicopter in civilian airspace without a flight plan or any communication with air traffic control when you decided to launch a missile because you were concerned that it may be "faulty"; at which point, a billion dollar stolen military jet was shot down and crashed in Vespucci Beach killing hundreds of civilians due to the explosion of it hitting the ground.

 

Me: Yes. he had no business flying after me and the civilians should've gotten out the way, that was very irresponsible of them to not get out the area if they saw the jet falling down. Also I'm concerned that many of the gangs in this city seem to have unlimited funds for their vehicle pools. I've been doing my best to seize their assets to prevent further crime.

 

I see a flaw with this story, as there are no such thing as 100 NPC's spawning at once. (Or barely 10 for that matter)

Me: "No, I surrrender!"

 

Officer: "KILLING MAKES MY DICK HARD!" *opens fire*

 

Me: *gags on blood*.

This is pretty much the funniest one

[KrazyFace]

 

Me: Well, it's like this officer; I came voluntarily into the this police station because I'm nosey. Then I saw those things pinned to that cork-board and wanted to read them. However, I didn't want to intrude by walking behind the desk so I got my mobile phone out to zoom in on said items to inspect them from afar, that's round about when you suddenly screamed "GRRAAAHHH MOTHA FU*KAA!!" and proceeded to shoot me in the facial region.

 

Cop: GRRAAAHHH MOTHA FU*KAA!!!

 

*Pulls out gun and shoots me again*

 

Cop: Okay so, case closed then.

[CarimboHanky]

the governor, who ever is, should order drug testing in LSPD, im sure they are on steroid and all their anger and overaction is caused by the 'roidrage!

Edited August 9, 2014 by CarimboHanky

[Zorvaine]

I give them a message.

 

Your so called justice system is flawed.

Your city reeks of corruption.

I am it's solution.

Purging the streets of human filth.

 

My presence, a meaning.

My crimes, a message.

My blade, an instrument.

 

You're lying to yourself.

You're guilty as the others.

You think of yourself being beneath acceptance.

You're a disgrace to your badge.

 

Deception is today's reality.

Pain is it's reward.

Order, a myth.

Anarchy it's predecessor.

 

I stand before you as a catalyst.

Your judgement is vague.

Accept your fate as time moves on and your soul diminishes.

 

Such is my legacy.

Zorvaine Von Sinius.

 

*And so I stab him in the heart with a knife.*

Edited August 9, 2014 by Zorvaine

[Con9mm]

Occifer, that pedestrian was talking about my momma.

[JohnDoe7125539271]

Me: "Can i get a picture with you, Officer?"

 

Officer: "LSPD motherf***er!

 

BANG BANG!

[TheDexter626]

Officer = Why did you kill lady and her husband ?

 

Me = First she rammed my ass while i was stopped beacuse stop sign told me to. After that i heard them insulting me as mother f*cking sucker and sh*t di*k. Then i pulled them out of their car and killed them with my baseball bat. After that i burned their bodies and sticky bombed their car . After that i started to walk , and i detonated the sticky bombs while i was walking.

 

Officer = Okay , you were just defending your self. Have good day !

 

After that i went to my car and started driving direction where my house were. Then suddendly a wild cop car appears and crashes to my car. In seconds cops were next to me and shot me . After i came from hospital , cops sued me and i lost my house and cars. After that i were runned over by a wild cop car. After that i had enough. I went to local police station , pulled my minigun and just raped everybody with my golden minigun.

 

The END

[CatchMeTrolling]

Explain what? Take a bullet to go officer

[161isaiah161]

Officer, it wasent my fault, the guy just walked into my bullets.

[radd_bro]

Driving down the road in my Coquette when a random police car chasing a player rams me.

 

Police: U UNDER ARREST FOR VEHICULAR CONTACT WITH THE POLICE >:c

 

Me: fuk

[TCMike]

"Well, you see officer, I was trying to take a photo and he wouldn't get out of my shot. So you see, I had no choice but to shoot him... 12 times... in the face with a shotgun. Always be good at what you do, that's what my mother taught me."

[Der Süden]

Officer: You've shot dead and blown up dozens of people in the last hour and taken no harm from their bullets, explosives, vehicles and aircraft until one of them managed to park a tank on you. Only after that we were able to arrest you. What have you to say for yourself?

 

Me: Well I'm a god until someone parks a tank on my ass. You allow me to go to my garage for a minute? I need to drive my very expensive Zentorno back in. We'll meet in Downtown after that.

 

Officer: You have my permission, but hurry.

 

Me a couple of minutes later in Downtown: *nothing said*

 

Officer: *no officer left*

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah I'm a f*ckin badass no one can mess with...

 

 

no it's just godmode if you didn't understand.

[Oink]

 

Officer: We got a report of a Hit & Run on the studio backlot. Care to explain this stain on your car sir?

 

Me: Listen here pig, people should remember who their boss is, I explained myself to that rent-a-cop for the last time!!

 

Officer: /Grabs his baton...

[Commander S]

Officer: Mind explaining the ...'events' of Saturday night?

Me: My civic duty, officer! Consider it an impromptu exercise in 'testing police readiness and response' - I mean, the next time some crazed lunatic decides to hijack military hardware and carpet-bomb the city (before playing 'Duck Hunt' with LSPD vehicles for several hours), you're probably going to be better prepared, right?


...

Edited August 9, 2014 by Cmdr_Shepherd

[Argonaut]

Officer: Have you bought a Cash card yet?

 

me: no

 

Officer: *shoots*

 

 

Morale: Secret to no cops Legit is to buy a cash card

[dorcy]

"F**K OFF Sir! It wasn't me! I love you.!" obviously in a Tongan accent.

[v i b e s]

Me:Hi

 

Cops: *Unloads clips into me*

[Dr.Huge Poop]