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Name Calling


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A sort of schizo-centric conversation that happens when two minds meet in a place with no setting or context.




"Who are you."

"Er, I don't know. Do you have a name?"

"No, I don't believe I have."

"It's a shame that, isn't it?"

"Why, it is. Most disappointing."

"Yes, would be helpful."


"I know, for a bit of fun, right."


"We should give each other names! You know, so we have something to refer to each other in conversation."

"I see, marvellous idea!"

"Well perhaps we should you know, get to know each other first and from there formulate what name we see fit for one another."

"Yes, all right I'll get the ball rolling if I may."

"Go right ahead."

"Well I don't really know what to say. I feel as though I've existed since the beginning."

"Oh yeah, I get that."

"That's Peculiar of you."

"Uhm, how so?"

"Well for one, I know without any doubt I've been here longer than you."

"Now, not to offend you or anything but I dare say you're.. Delusional."

"I see and given that you have already made your mind up regarding my name I would find you... Judgemental."

"Very well, seeing as though I haven't actually said anything of myself, as of yet; I would prefer to dub you as... Hypocrite."

"Well I must say, I am starting to find you... Offensive."

"As I said, I don't mean you hurt you or anything. But just to revert from where we digressed, I believe you claimed to have been here longer than I have. You appear to be quite.. Self-Assured."

"Well I stand by that point . Must you be so... contentious?"

"I would just like to point out that I was one who instigated this conversation and for the most part, moved it forward. Simply put, you're Wrong."

"Ahh, but I was contently existing long before I heard your voice. So I wouldn't be so Arrogant."

"As was I. Your failure to even consider my existence before this conversation proves you to be Ignorant."

"So as you're clearly Conceited, what makes you so sure you was here before me?"

"As a matter of fact, I'm not the slightest bit interested who happened to be here first. I was more than happy to start a friendly dialogue, however over the course of this conversation you have proven yourself to be extremely Childish!"

"You're a Buffoon! If you hadn't so rudely interrupted me earlier, We'd be further in this conversation."

"Oh is that so? If you're so Smart than answer me this."

"Ah, succumbed to sarcasm have we? What's that Genius?"

"Not much of a riposte from such a Clever individual."

"Don't be so Stubborn as to deter from the question!"

"All right Autocrat. Where are we?"

"Well, we're here."

"Yeah and exactly where is, Here?"

"Annoyingly, near you."

"Oh come off it! Are you genuinely that Malicious?"

"No, I just find you incredibly Intolerable!"

"Well, I see no reason why we should continue this conversation."

"Nor do I."

"Well that settles it. You won't hear another word from Me."

"Or Me."

"Are you so Keen to have last word?"

"Apparently that lies within your interests."

"If you say so."

"That I do."

"Come now, you're more Mature than this."

"Your attempt to send me on a guilt trip won't work. Not only are you Arrogant, you're also Manipulative!"

"Not at all! I was just hoping we could revert to having a civil chat."

"I want no part of it."

"All right. We'll end it there. But I know you'll want to talk again."

"Don't be so Sure."

"Only as long as you're Naive."

Edited by ainsz
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Mokrie Dela

I started this thinking "wth?" No setting, no context, how is this going to work.

But i think it did. It made me think of a character with no concept of name, so uses labels to describe another as a name. On the whole this, i found, to be a sort of commentary on how we perceive other people. We're always saying things like "Alan's so naive" and judging them, quick to put a label on them. This almost showed the futility in such name calling, and how it goes nowhere and simply gets in the way instead.

i enjoyed this much more than i thought i would

The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.


Click here to view my Poetry

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As the writer, you know and understand your own work all too well. I was unsure if something that was just a bunch of dialogue, that on the face of it, about nothing would work for the reader. Glad to see it has and that it was able to make you think. Thanks for the insight.

Edited by ainsz
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Mokrie Dela

I've noticed this with some of Fallout (my story, not the game) - there's a lot of dialogue, more so than my other works. You find yourself questioning it, but ultimately trust your gut.

For me it did work. Other's might not get it, or might interpret it completely differently, but while it didn't touch me emotionally, I didn't find it hugely interesting, it made me think about names and labels, and judgement. Kind of abstract, minimalistic, but enlightening.

If you think about it people's names used to mean something.

"John Carpenter" was a carpenter. "Bob Farmer" was a farmer etc. First names used to (still do though we don't think of that much) have meanings. My character in my Assassin's Creed (WIP) fanfic is named Nathaniel Arnold. Nathaniel means "Gift of god" and "Arnold" means power of eagle - so his name means "Eagle sight, gifted by god". What's in a name? Everything, so call this guy Frank Judgmental, or Joe condescending.

This also reminds me of those letters-to-self people sometimes write. You're looking into the mirror and seeing yourself, but which one's the real you? You or the reflection? Jekyll or Hyde? Chalk or Cheese? Both? Neither?

The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.


Click here to view my Poetry

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