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Report: Rat meat found in fast food

Dilkington

By Dilkington
in GTA Online

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Dilkington

Dilkington

Posted
Posted

An analysis of the quality of meat in sandwiches and wraps available at "Bite!" in the Los Santos business district has revealed that over 60% of what is supposed to be pork and chicken is actually rat meat.

 

Food scientists have conducted several studies into fast food sandwich chain "Bite!" after complaints suggested that the meat tasted strange and had a stringy, tough consistensy.

 

0_0.jpg

 

"Bite!" boasts fresh wraps, sandwiches, snacks and drinks. Their slogan, "Wrap it up, swallow it fresh", suggests that their ingredients are of high quality. However, a disgruntled former employee at "Bite!" came to SA:AN with his story. Our journalist Melissa Sting spoke to Jonathan Daity outside Ammunation, for some reason.

 

0_0.jpg

 

"I was fired for stubbing out a cigarette on the counter after a long shift", Jonathan explains.

 

"I worked there for three years making wraps and sandwiches. The boss is a real jerk, he would walk in with a gold watch shining in my face laughing about how much money it cost him. The guy loved watches and bracelets."

 

0_0.jpg

 

Speaking of the business district, Jonathan made some interesting remarks.

 

"You'd think that this place would be all posh and rich, right? The people walk around in suits and talk on their phones about how busy they are with their careers. All the while we're serving them foul smelling meat and watered down electrolyte sodas and calling it 'fresh'. Seriously, you're better off eating tissue paper than the crap we were selling."

 

0_0.jpg

 

"The coffee place next to us was no better. I have some real juicy insider info on the quality of their so-called fine ground coffee beans. The lady who owns the place gets her preteen kids to make fake coffee beans out of cardboard and ground up brown crayons. I only know that because I've been banging her on weekends though."

 

Melissa managed to track down "Bite!" manager Fast Richman (yes, that is his real legal name).

 

0_0.jpg

 

"He's a f*** liar. I'm going to sue his ass so hard he'll be on the streets begging for change. Nobody crosses me. I have the best lawyer in LS and I am not afraid to use him", Fast told us just before hastily leaving in a chauffeur-driven limousine.

 

Unable to speak further about the allegations, Fast has recently filed a lawsuit against SA:AN as well as Weazel News, Jonathan, and every scientist involved in the investigation into the meat being sold.

 

"It's sick", says Jonathan. "I discovered a nest of rats around the back of my workplace and my boss tells me it's no big deal. I find skinned rat corpses in the freezer and I'm told to keep my mouth shut. But I stub a cigarette out on a counter and I'm fired? This guy's priorities are as out of whack as his mental state."

 

We advise all of you reading to go and look at the report on www.foodhealthsanandreas.com where they've written an indepth article on this issue and the dangers of eating possibly diseased rat meat. If you or someone you know has recently eaten at "Bite!" we strongly suggest visiting your doctor and requesting blood tests.

 

Remember to stay safe out there and only put something into your body if you know for sure what it contains. This is SA:AN signing off.

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Ai®a©ob®a

Ai®a©ob®a

Posted
Posted (edited)

It's Los Santo why are people surprised?

 

 

*might i add that you ask the mod to reset your title and change it to

San Andreas Alternative News Report: Rat meat found..."

it's a good bait title you can ask them to change it by clicking report on your post

Edited by AiraCobra
  • Dilkington and fathergraywolf
  • Like 2
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Dilkington

Dilkington

Posted
  • Author
Posted

It's Los Santo why are people surprised?

 

 

*might i add that you ask the mod to reset your title and change it to

San Andreas Alternative News Report: Rat meat found..."

it's a good bait title you can ask them to change it by clicking report on your post

 

Thanks for the heads up. I've submitted a report asking to have the title changed/shortened.

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ivarblaauw

ivarblaauw

Posted
Posted (edited)

Another one! sure fun read! :D

 

guess that's the reason there is no interior :p

Edited by ivarblaauw
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livejoker

livejoker

Posted
Posted

These are really good!

Talking about your posts, not this sandwich I got from "Bite!".
This reminds me of GTA IV commercial from Weazel or CNT news: "Are you eating rat feces?"
Keep it up, can't wait for the next one. Maybe arrive on the scene of a hit n run or a big highway pile-up and then get run over or something.

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Ezza.

Ezza.

Posted
Posted

 

It's Los Santo why are people surprised?

 

 

*might i add that you ask the mod to reset your title and change it to

San Andreas Alternative News Report: Rat meat found..."

it's a good bait title you can ask them to change it by clicking report on your post

 

Thanks for the heads up. I've submitted a report asking to have the title changed/shortened.

 

For the next story, I think the San Andreas Alternative News team needs to interview a forum member on the recent "occurrences" in San Andreas

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GTA-Freak-Vi

GTA-Freak-Vi

Posted
Posted

Speaking of rats, there's two tiny rats that creeped into my house, I should probably feed them to my cat :devil:

 

 

Anyway, another good read from your brilliant effort :^:

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Happy_Killstick

Happy_Killstick

Posted
Posted

Speaking of rats, there's two tiny rats that creeped into my house, I should probably feed them to my cat :devil:

 

 

Anyway, another good read from your brilliant effort :^:

 

DON'T they can be poisoned with rat poison and thats not good.

years ago my grandma lost her cat because it ate a rat that had been poison by rat poison :(

  • fathergraywolf
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GTA-Freak-Vi

GTA-Freak-Vi

Posted
Posted

DON'T they can be poisoned with rat poison and thats not good.

years ago my grandma lost her cat because it ate a rat that had been poison by rat poison :(

Alrighty, I'm definitely not gonna feed them to my cats now

 

Sorry to hear about your grandma losing her cat :'(

 

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ChrilLe

ChrilLe

Posted
Posted

 

Speaking of rats, there's two tiny rats that creeped into my house, I should probably feed them to my cat :devil:

 

 

Anyway, another good read from your brilliant effort :^:

 

DON'T they can be poisoned with rat poison and thats not good.

years ago my grandma lost her cat because it ate a rat that had been poison by rat poison :(

 

I don't think cats are immune towards the many deseases the rat carries either.

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JiNX77

JiNX77

Posted
Posted

 

DON'T they can be poisoned with rat poison and thats not good.

years ago my grandma lost her cat because it ate a rat that had been poison by rat poison :(

Alrighty, I'm definitely not gonna feed them to my cats now

 

Sorry to hear about your grandma losing her cat :'(

 

 

 

LD044_(2).jpgLD044_(3).jpg

Stuff `em with tuna, salmon or canned food.

  • GTA-Freak-Vi
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Malibu454

Malibu454

Posted
Posted (edited)

That's why "I fly Fatburger when I'm way out west" :p

 

My cat eats mice and birds.. She tells me they're Tasty.. :p

Edited by Malibu454
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Juanfartez

Juanfartez

Posted
Posted

 

DON'T they can be poisoned with rat poison and thats not good.

years ago my grandma lost her cat because it ate a rat that had been poison by rat poison :(

Alrighty, I'm definitely not gonna feed them to my cats now

 

Sorry to hear about your grandma losing her cat :'(

 

 

Don't worry about it. Grannys cat probably died of arsenic poisoning. They don't make rat bait out of that any more. Modern stuff dehydrates the little critters and is harmless to larger animals. Keep in mind if you bait for the mice remove all cat food nearby. The vitamin K in the cat food is the antidote to the rat poison.

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Tali vas Normandy

Tali vas Normandy

Posted
Posted

Good thing I always perfered freckle bitches instead.

 

This story reminded me about that guy who found a rat in his monster energy drink.

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luisniko

luisniko

Posted
Posted

No offense, bro. But I think you're really bored and have nothing to do...

  • LogScottWood
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Dilkington

Dilkington

Posted
  • Author
Posted

No offense, bro. But I think you're really bored and have nothing to do...

 

I am extremely offended and hurt by this remark. What gives you the right to attack me this way? You're a vile bully!

  • Tali vas Normandy
  • Like 1
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LogScottWood

LogScottWood

Posted
Posted

No offense, bro. But I think you're really bored and have nothing to do...

Yeah, I don't really get it either. It's up there with people starting their own wrestling e-feds.

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Dilkington

Dilkington

Posted
  • Author
Posted

 

No offense, bro. But I think you're really bored and have nothing to do...

Yeah, I don't really get it either. It's up there with people starting their own wrestling e-feds.

 

 

I love the game, I love writing. Why not combine the two as an entertaining piece of fiction on a forum? It takes about ten minutes out of my day and people seem to enjoy reading it. I know it's kind of strange but this kind of thing seems to be in demand. I think people get sick of reading the same threads complaining about the game or asking stupid questions.

  • Tali vas Normandy, REVENGE777 and Ezza.
  • Like 3
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AceThaCreator

AceThaCreator

Posted
Posted

Nice post OP keep them going man they are much more entertaining then the generic and repetitive posts on here.

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