GTA online questions, suggestions ungrateful complaints and demands et

[Psycho...PSI...kick]

Okay where to start so many wtf questions and bitchy complaints to go through...it's hard to keep it all straight never mind form them in to a coherent or logical list...but here goes nothing.

Dear cockstar I hope someone from your company is reading this and by that I don't mean the janitor...because I've currently been banned from posting on the offical site and have to submit my comments for review or something, probably for being rude offensive and or generally being a grade A prick...so this is me holding my breath to see if some moderator approves my statements...like I'm the member of some distopic fascist social cult or some bullsh*t.

 

WARNING THE FOLLOWING COMMENTS MAY BE AGGRESSIVE, BELIGERANT AND WILL DEFINTELY BE INAPPROPRIATE FOR SMALL CHILDREN.

 

Lets start with some questions

 

1 Why the f*ck would I bother playing your small sh*tty confined and compartmentalised death matches when a open session of freemode is basically one giant free roam deathmatch without end to begin with?

 

2 Why is your limited and boring survival mode basically a rip off of gears of war horde mode?...again with the players being confined to a few small area's that get really f*cking boring really f*cking quick and why are they even compartmentalised from the rest of the free roam game anyway? then ontop of that you've also limited the players to just four people unlike the pointless and boring death matches...why in gods sick twisted debase and depressingly grey earth would you think this was a good idea...? have you guys ever seen sixteen players on a co op free roam rampage? it's truly something beautiful to witness, a sight to f*cking see...and it's a tragedy when most players never will on freemode.

 

Here are my humble suggestions on what you should have done from the start and what you should do to fix your stupid mistakes

 

1 forget the death matches...they're f*cking boring, unoriginal, whored out and have nothing to do with skill if you're an aim assisted f*ckwit or lazy bastard like me.

 

2 Use the f*cking free roam, use the stars, allow way more players and add a timer for survival matches that either tracks the players record or counts down until the end of the match...drop the unoriginal waves bullsh*t...also don't just have the f*cking cannon fodder spawn out of thin air and charge right at the players, have them take cover and be creative...have mercenaries parachute in or rappel from helicopters or something.

 

Lets move on to the lame ass co op missions

 

The first and only real question here is obviously gonna be who the hell was incharge of coming up with the online content?...because they need to be slapped, then fired and possibly blacklisted from working in the industry, seriously the single player story campaign was almost flawless...well except for the one horrid exception of trevors mission where we have to move around the cargo containers I enjoyed every single activity and mission...but then we get to the online and it's like a bunch of amateur hacks and retarded monkeys with zero creativity or talent were just slacking off in a room somewhere until release date and then at the last possible moment chucked together a bunch of sh*t nobody ever play tested...put simply the missions suck donkey balls and drastically vary in terms of the rewards for...and the effort required by the gamers...so yeah of course everyone is going to do rooftop rumble which isn't on a rooftop by the way or the quick and easy sniper mission called coveted over and over again...ya know instead of the dozens of boring, frustrating and overly long highjack a f*cking truck missions that are all the same and don't give the players jack sh*t for their effort

 

My expert opinion and advice here on how to correct this huge clusterf*ck is...

 

1 up the numbers of players beyond four and scale the missions up or down to match the number of those players.

 

2 Come up with some more varied, entertaining and over the top jobs, think big and think crazy...you can create way more blow sh*t up, wreck stuff and burn the f*cking house down with everyone in it style jobs for a start...then move on to complex jobs that require teamwork with optional secondary and multiple bonus objectives etc

 

3 Think the sh*t through, either give everyone the same standard pay for every generic lackluster mission if ya want to be lazy f*cks or actually bother to play test the jobs with random deaf and dumb strangers...not ya helpful and considerate workmates who are in the same f*cking room as you...then decide on whats a good reward for the players...remembering the fact that it's not cool or entertaining making them grind for chump change in the hopes that they'll buy your over priced D.L.C credit cards

 

4 Just let us use the content creator to make our own jobs and missions along with the races and death matches and the f*cking online community will do your f*cking jobs for ya...you lazy incompetent f*ckwits

 

Now for something that really annoys me

 

1 stop that f*cking phone from ringing every five minutes when I'm driving or diving out of a plane or in the middle of a tense shootout with another player or I'm in a hectic chase with the cops...WHICH IS ALL THE f*ckING TIME BY THE WAY! as the saying goes don't phone me I'll phone you...christ I'm level 100 plus so I don't need lester, martin, simeon or who f*cking ever still phoning my ass like some needy henpecking girlfriend constantly reminding me to go to f*cking work...I'll do what I want when I want so stop pestering me ya annoying bitches.

 

2 What the f*ck is up with the menu screen?...why the f*ck do I have to quit out of online to single player story mode to start a private, friends only or invite only session? seriously cockstar you suck at basic common sense convenient sh*t like this to the point where you don't even bother with a menu screen at the beginning of the game...seriously stop trying to be different and special because you're just retarded.

 

3 Why the hell is there no joint party or group crew system to ensure you and your buds stick together in the same game or when we go to freemode the party or crew are placed together in the same session with enough room for everyone...seriously when we're trying to play with friends and crew members we are constantly being split up and then waste more time trying to load into each others games rather than actually playing the goddamn game.

 

4 The f*cking useless passive mode... ...WTF were you thinking cockstar? make it a whole other session but don't call it "passive" mode, a session where players can use their weapons but can't shoot each other no matter how much ammo they waste unless someone has a bounty...and for f*cks sake sort the f*cking hit and run bullsh*t out while you're at it...I mean seriously how hard is it to have cars go right through "passive" players like they were ghosts, also did you f*ckwits not realize that people spend most of their time in a vehicle and that out running or avoiding trolling dickheads would be a little tricky...you've got a retarded cockstar nanny big brother system in the form of the dunce camp for blowing up cars so why not use it on players who keep f*cking with "passive" players who are just trying to mind their own business and get a f*cking haircut or go shopping or something...

 

5 Don't even get me started on the whole thing where you can't steal and keep high end cars or even jack other players cars in a game called wait for it... GRAND THEFT AUTO!

f*cking morons why didn't you just rename it pimp my ride or some stupid sh*t.

 

Last but certainly not least, here are some surreal requests or rather stupid demands off my personal wish list

 

Disclaimer...let me say this is just me and I really don't give a sh*t what anyone else thinks, these are just my opinions and I'm probably not going to have the moronic masses falling all over themselves agreeing with me but in my humble opinion cockstar has a massive opportunity to provide players with more options and content than most other console games in existence and they are failing to live up to that potential...especially in regards to satire, parody and tons of stupid silly fun...so if you'll forgive me for being blunt f*ck REALISM!...okay now that I've got that out the way here's a list of things I want to see and do.

 

1 A red dawn slash call of duty piss take mode where russia, north korea or south america is invading, I want to see parachutes landing and jets dogfighting in the sky, tanks and troops in the streets, a state of emergency, I wanna to hear f*cked up funny panic and propaganda on the radio stations, I want to be drafted to defend the city...give us a little modern warfare style stupid spectacle and some dry sarcastic humour.

 

2 Ya know I could say I want zombies but I'm not that boring or unoriginal so I really don't...but with the day and night cycle along with that big full moon I'd love to see some feral vampires and werewolves...we could buy expensive silver bullets and cockstar could introduce a few new melee weapons, maybe some U.V flashlights for the guns etc...ya know fill the hills, mountains and desert with lycans once every luna cycle and have the blood suckers swarm the empty streets of the city when the sun goes down...that would be a pretty cool mode to kill some time on.

 

3 A urban chaos riot mode or a all out warriors style gang war, just have all the civilians running around in masks with melee weapons and small arms, sporting new official cockstar made crew symbols just attacking and shooting each other and everything in sight etc ya know show the players what it's like to be on the other end of unprovoked violence.

 

4 Some giant stupid king kong and godzilla sized monsters running around in free mode might be cool...It would at least give everyone something to shoot at with their R.P.Gs, tanks, helicopters and a actual reason to team up and storm the army base to steal some jet fighters to blow one off the top of a skyscraper.

 

5 I really like gta races with the rockets and boosts and I loved the 007 james bond car in that single player mission...and yes I get why we cant all have missile launchers in our headlights in freemode...because it would be too much fun...but cockstar could find some sort of compromise, instead of rockets just something on the submachine gun or uzi level, they could at least give us the option to buy something defensive like oil slick or those cool revolving license plates bond had to help get rid of the cops faster...and if not they could at least give us some NOS boosts or hydraulics, hell give us that cheat from vice city that turns cars into hovercraft and let us drive on water, they can make em stupid expensive upgrades for us to spend more of our money on...I want a car that turns into a submarine too...also I want submarines with torpedoes

 

6 Speaking of vehicles I want some monster trucks and demolition derby or twisted metal style armored vehicles...something I can run over traffic with or stick spikes to the front of to impale people on, something with a narrow view slit instead of a large fragile windscreen, something that screams death race or death proof or deathmobile...and give us an activity that lets us play tag with our cars damn it

 

7 We need another star on the wanted level especially when some asshole is trolling in his tank...where the f*ck is the army, I mean there is a army base right?...so wtf scramble the jets and roll out the tanks ya f*cking retards

 

8 Some new military vehicles would be cool, like a V.T.O.L jet, a A.P.C or a proper hummer with a mounted machine gun, maybe a big ass randomly located asset like an aircreft carrier or battleship anchored somewhere just off the coast

 

 

 

Wow okay I think I'm actually all done...for now...so consider my rants, bitchy complaints and stupid ideas as the psychotic ravings of a deluded madman and feel free to ignore it all if ya want...but I'll be back...mark my mutha f*cking words boys and girls

P.S suck it cockstar

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Jolly Swagman]

[Xyn]

 

Specially since it's all subjective bitching with no objective support to it......

[Choppers]

 

Please, take it to the Bitch & Moan thread.

[darkwar854]

I am NOT going to read your bitchy complaint so I'll summarize it for you.

 

Dear Cockstar, Stop making cash cards and stop patching glitches, remove bad sport, make kills in free roam give you money, let us have tanks in our garage, give us military jets to buy on pegasus, make the military base easier to get into, and you ruined the game with cash cards.

 

You are welcome.

[Midnightz]

So, you wanted GTAO to actually be organized, engaging, imaginative, diverse, and fun. You're going to need to rely on other players for that.

 

With most of your complaints, I would have to agree and I could add a few too. But I don't think screaming obscenities or name calling is necessarily the best way to state your gripes. R* deserves your respect, if for no other reason than: you did enjoy the Story Mode.

 

I too, am having a difficult time enjoying GTAO. It's so very meh or frustrating. It could have been 1,000 times better. :-/

[Psycho...PSI...kick]

I am NOT going to read your bitchy complaint so I'll summarize it for you.

 

Dear Cockstar, Stop making cash cards and stop patching glitches, remove bad sport, make kills in free roam give you money, let us have tanks in our garage, give us military jets to buy on pegasus, make the military base easier to get into, and you ruined the game with cash cards.

 

You are welcome.

Lol way off the mark in every regard sunshine...now crawl back down ya hole like a good little cockroach

[KornbreadMaf1a]

I stopped reading when I realized your ideas were stupid and that didn't take very long

[Ezza.]

actually did. My response

And, as if attacking them will make them listen.

Edited April 11, 2014 by EZza2647

[RowanSane]

I can't imagine why r* would have banned you from their support forums...

[GTA-Freak-Vi]

A+ for writing a novel

[mojito]

stopped reading after okay

[Psycho...PSI...kick]

So, you wanted GTAO to actually be organized, engaging, imaginative, diverse, and fun. You're going to need to rely on other players for that.

 

With most of your complaints, I would have to agree and I could add a few too. But I don't think screaming obscenities or name calling is necessarily the best way to state your gripes. R* deserves your respect, if for no other reason than: you did enjoy the Story Mode.

 

I too, am having a difficult time enjoying GTAO. It's so very meh or frustrating. It could have been 1,000 times better. :-/

First off it's not screaming it's casual cussing...which is just my vulgar way and you were all clearly warned...second name calling doesn't hurt anybody and I find it actually does help, it's soothing, relaxing and cathartic...you should try it.

Also the title of the thread wasn't gta single player story mode rocks great job guys...now was it...besides I'm better at the whole critical judgemental thing lol

[Jolly Swagman]

stopped reading after okay

Im illerate, Illitterate , ill litter rate. one of those people that can't read or write. Beat that

Edited April 11, 2014 by Jolly SWAGman

[Stephen]

OP you get an F, there's only one Jack Reacher, and you're not him.

[Psycho...PSI...kick]

I stopped reading when I realized your ideas were stupid and that didn't take very long

No sense of whimsy huh? okay but thanks for posting your extensive and witty thoughts though pal

[Coin]

Went to respond to the OP's post in detail, got about half way through deconstructing his post, then realised. What a f*cking waste of time typing out my response; Your perception and understanding as to what GTA Online is so completely and utterly flawed that no matter what kind of response you are faced with, your position won't be shifted. You're the very epitome of what it means to bitch and moan.

 

Sad thing is... you did actually have a legitimate point about the frequency of the phone calls, but you drowned it in so much bullsh*t, that it will go unnoticed. Rockstar ripped off Gear's Horde Mode? PMSL

Edited April 11, 2014 by Insert-Coin-To-Continue

[§†range]

Great Job OP. I often feel the same, just do not put it into words quite as well as you did.

[RowanSane]

 

stopped reading after okay

 

Im illerate, Illitterate , ill litter rate. one of those people that can't read or write. Beat thatHeh heh heh u sayed beat. Its reed BTW.

[Psycho...PSI...kick]

I can't imagine why r* would have banned you from their support forums...

I know right, boggles da brain don't it?

[Stephen]

I think OP has come down with a case of gynocomastia.

[RowanSane]

 

I can't imagine why r* would have banned you from their support forums...

 

I know right, boggles da brain don't it?I predict your time here may be short, but I'm confident I'll be entertained.

[§†range]

I would also like to add that when I order a pegesus vehicle why the f*ck does it spawn 1400miles from my damn location when there is a helipad down the road. F*ck you Pegesus.

[Ezza.]

I think OP has come down with a case of gynocomastia.

I think the OP just got dumped and is taking his anger out on an international games development company.

 

But you gotta hand it to him

[I3AZZAI2]

That is quite the rant my good friend. There is some small light near the end of the tunnel in your wall of text though.

[WBaker]

Went to respond to the OP's post in detail, got about half way through deconstructing his post, then realised. What a f*cking waste of time typing out my response; Your perception and understanding as to what GTA Online is so completely and utterly flawed that no matter what kind of response you are faced with, your position won't be shifted. You're the very epitome of what it means to bitch and moan.

 

Sad thing is... you did actually have a legitimate point about the frequency of the phone calls, but you drowned it in so much bullsh*t, that it will go unnoticed. Rockstar ripped off Gear's Horde Mode? PMSL

And that's why this gets a lock.