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livejoker

Representative of Earth to Meet Aliens

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WBaker

There is a school of thought that suggests first contact with aliens should be on a purely mathematical basis so that we can prove to them we're not entirely ignorant angry apes. There would be no common language or social cues and gestures which could form an initial form of dialogue, not even pointing is as intuitive as we think it is.

 

With this in mind I would like a leading mathematician or physicist to be the earth representative. This still presents problems, as again, our numbers will not translate into an alien language. But if this representative if prepared, they would be able to demonstrate theorems symbolically. For example by drawing a right angled triangle and communicating that we understand the Pythagoras Theorem, or by demonstrating Pi. Mathematical communication of this nature has/is being attempted, for example the 1974 Arecibo broadcast and I find all of this stuff fascinating.

As you wrote, communication via mathematics only serves to show we're not entirely ignorant damned dirty apes and there is no dialogue. Wouldn't any demonstration of our understanding of ratios serve the same purpose? I don't think we need a skilled mathematician for that.

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Max

If we are face to face with them the point is that once we have a point of contact and an understanding that we're not entirely ignorant, then dialogue can begin from a position of mutual understanding of certain mathematical rules. Mathematics is absolute whereas the language necessary for dialogue is far harder to learn and understand quickly.

 

Providing we only make contact with an alien species rather than be visited, another school of thought suggests that dialogue in itself is useless anyway as anything we beam out into the universe is likely to take thousands of years to be intercepted and then perhaps thousands of years to return. It would be as if the Romans had opened a dialogue with an Alien race and we just now received a reply addressed to Caesar. It would be therefore best to send out as much information as possible all in one go. One option would be to simply beam the entire contents of Google towards a cluster of stars. If there is intelligent life there, Google holds enough information for them to decipher the patterns of human language meaning they could likely learn English and Google as a whole gives an incredibly detailed picture of humanity.

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Crokey

This guy:

 

aliens-meme.jpeg

Nope this girl

 

f8amUpX.jpg

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CatDog96

2AG9W8f.png

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livejoker

I think if the Aliens learned about humans through projected internet, they'd see a lot of cats and weird porn.
Thanks again for all the responses. Really interesting stuff and arguments.

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Misbegotten cad

I would send a veteran scientist, preferably one that has been on BBC science programs telling folk about sciences in populistic ways.

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Max

I think if the Aliens learned about humans through projected internet, they'd see a lot of cats and weird porn.

 

Perhaps they would, but porn and sexual desire is as much a part of the human experience as our great works of art. It's an honest snap shot of humanity, warts and all, which would be beamed into space. The plethora of lol cats, admittedly doesn't present a well refined sense of humour but again, we shouldn't misrepresent ourselves, any Aliens we may encounter would probably be smart enough to work us out pretty quickly and then we're in the awkward situation where we've lied to our glorious new Alien overlords.

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Frank Brown

 

 

I think if the Aliens learned about humans through projected internet, they'd see a lot of cats and weird porn.

 

Perhaps they would, but porn and sexual desire is as much a part of the human experience as our great works of art. It's an honest snap shot of humanity, warts and all, which would be beamed into space. The plethora of lol cats, admittedly doesn't present a well refined sense of humour but again, we shouldn't misrepresent ourselves, any Aliens we may encounter would probably be smart enough to work us out pretty quickly and then we're in the awkward situation where we've lied to our glorious new Alien overlords.

Ah, but what if the alien species we encounter is in fact a form of feline? And what if said species operated on a very simplistic honor system where the creators of anything that either mocks or attacks their species must be met in battle? Labeling Google as humanity's creation and sending it to the Felinopeople could be a death sentence!

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Wayne Daniels

I nominate Matt Stone and Trey Parker.

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livejoker

 

 

I think if the Aliens learned about humans through projected internet, they'd see a lot of cats and weird porn.

 

Perhaps they would, but porn and sexual desire is as much a part of the human experience as our great works of art. It's an honest snap shot of humanity, warts and all, which would be beamed into space. The plethora of lol cats, admittedly doesn't present a well refined sense of humour but again, we shouldn't misrepresent ourselves, any Aliens we may encounter would probably be smart enough to work us out pretty quickly and then we're in the awkward situation where we've lied to our glorious new Alien overlords.

Ah, but what if the alien species we encounter is in fact a form of feline? And what if said species operated on a very simplistic honor system where the creators of anything that either mocks or attacks their species must be met in battle? Labeling Google as humanity's creation and sending it to the Felinopeople could be a death sentence!

 

I would think if the aliens were actual cats of some sort and saw how obsessed we were with them, they'd probably be flattered. Sad to say, but if this is the case then we were saved by lolcats. On another note, call it typical American mindset (I feel like I'm opening a door I won't be able to shut here by saying that)....euh...call it typical paranoia/taking precautions, but most people who talk about aliens always talk about which defense strategy we should use. I'm no hippie but I do believe every conflict encountered could be avoided by doing the right moves. Probably not John Travolta moves, but something as good. What moves? No clue.

 

If it does come down to us being attacked either from not making the right moves or not even having time to make an impression at all, and even if we managed to fight them somehow, the time it takes to scramble for jets and military hardware would be enough time for them to make a big impact on us. Laser rays? Shattering waves? Who knows what those sneaky green bastards have in stock.

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CatDog96

I actually want cat people to take over the world.

hSzeMEB.png?1?8365

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K20

I'd send anyone with common sense and a degree of intelligence [so they don't f*ck things up] and that person has to physically look muscular [show we are built like that and strong, in case they try to invade].

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I cucked Alex Jones

I don't think aliens who have the capability to travel the galaxy at FTL speeds would be intimidated by physical strength.

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Melchior

 

I think if the Aliens learned about humans through projected internet, they'd see a lot of cats and weird porn.

 

Perhaps they would, but porn and sexual desire is as much a part of the human experience as our great works of art. It's an honest snap shot of humanity, warts and all, which would be beamed into space. The plethora of lol cats, admittedly doesn't present a well refined sense of humour but again, we shouldn't misrepresent ourselves, any Aliens we may encounter would probably be smart enough to work us out pretty quickly and then we're in the awkward situation where we've lied to our glorious new Alien overlords.

 

lolcats would probably seem just as valid as even the most sophisticated humour. It would probably all be incomprehensible to them anyway.

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CharlesVercetti

I will call a baseball player and ask him to smash that "alien" life form to his land. :orly:

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Graven

What first contact?

I was abducted over 20 years ago. And let me tell You folks, aliens are good. At least my aliens were. And the sex is mindgasming.

I´ll never forget it. They bound me on the operation table. Examined my body and mind. They tickled, fiddled and literally fu*ked my mind for hours and hours.

I wished it would never end. I wanted to stay with them but it was against their alien laws.

 

You can´t win them. Resistance is futile, they can destroy You with their mind power in a second.

They will not land on earth because the bacteria and viruses would kill them easily. They don´t have immune system like human.

If You get abducted, do not resist. Just enjoy the ride.

 

If I could, I would take alien partner in a brainbeat.

 

This is true story. However, I did wake up in hospital next day, strapped on bed.

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CatDog96

I think aliens could probably give me super powers

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I cucked Alex Jones

 

 

I think if the Aliens learned about humans through projected internet, they'd see a lot of cats and weird porn.

 

Perhaps they would, but porn and sexual desire is as much a part of the human experience as our great works of art. It's an honest snap shot of humanity, warts and all, which would be beamed into space. The plethora of lol cats, admittedly doesn't present a well refined sense of humour but again, we shouldn't misrepresent ourselves, any Aliens we may encounter would probably be smart enough to work us out pretty quickly and then we're in the awkward situation where we've lied to our glorious new Alien overlords.

 

lolcats would probably seem just as valid as even the most sophisticated humour. It would probably all be incomprehensible to them anyway.

 

It's very likely they may have no sense of humor to speak of, at least not comparable to ours.

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livejoker

 

 

 

I think if the Aliens learned about humans through projected internet, they'd see a lot of cats and weird porn.

 

Perhaps they would, but porn and sexual desire is as much a part of the human experience as our great works of art. It's an honest snap shot of humanity, warts and all, which would be beamed into space. The plethora of lol cats, admittedly doesn't present a well refined sense of humour but again, we shouldn't misrepresent ourselves, any Aliens we may encounter would probably be smart enough to work us out pretty quickly and then we're in the awkward situation where we've lied to our glorious new Alien overlords.

 

lolcats would probably seem just as valid as even the most sophisticated humour. It would probably all be incomprehensible to them anyway.

 

It's very likely they may have no sense of humor to speak of, at least not comparable to ours.

 

If they do have a sense of humor, we should send Howie Mandel.

That guy is hilarious. If they don't like him and blast him, it's not a huge lost.

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Target13

I Would send him.

xSSaepISzThWPSF-556x313-noPad.jpg

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Spaghetti Cat

George Clinton

 

tumblr_kov1p6DwPn1qzbr0uo1_400.jpg

 

I think we all know why.

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_FRANKENSTEIN_

Send Justin Bieber, I hope they take it from this planet to wherever it came from!

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Krul

1sBZs7J.jpg

 

Send in Mix Master Mike, he speaks Alien.

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The Leviathan

Send Duke Nukem. If he is busy, I am sure Mel Gibson would want a chat with them.

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gnad.1992

This gentleman:

 

Lazy-Cat-being-lazy-853713_1024_768.jpg

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Urban Legend

Would it make a difference? We'd appear too primitive that it wouldn't even matter: they'd probably find all us screaming, hyper-emotional apes to be equally useful for their purposes. We wouldn't need a representative anyway, they could just jump on the internet.

 

Unfortunately if anyone does visit us we will have to submit to their demands or they will destroy us or a very nice portion of the planet. sh*t probably could blow the whole thing up.

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