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Need help faking my own death.


Forty
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Is she actually big and hairy? Or just a little beastly?

 

If she is in any way f*ckable, you could see how far she's willing to go. That might be fun.

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SingingEwe954

Is she actually big and hairy? Or just a little beastly?

If she is in any way f*ckable, you could see how far she's willing to go. That might be fun.

If she is that ugly she probably has STDs and then he would just be better off killing her unless he wore a bag over his head
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Is she actually big and hairy? Or just a little beastly?

If she is in any way f*ckable, you could see how far she's willing to go. That might be fun.

If she is that ugly she probably has STDs and then he would just be better off killing her unless he wore a bag over his head

 

 

If she's really ugly, why would she have STDs? That means someone would've wanted to f*ck her.

Edited by Vlynor
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SingingEwe954

 

 

Is she actually big and hairy? Or just a little beastly?

If she is in any way f*ckable, you could see how far she's willing to go. That might be fun.

 

If she is that ugly she probably has STDs and then he would just be better off killing her unless he wore a bag over his head

 

If she's really ugly, why would she have STDs? That means someone would've wanted to f*ck her.

Doesn't have to be a stf she got from someone else it could be an undescoveeed one but you could also use protection
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Like the others have said, the best solution would be to be honest with her. She might end up hating you but she will probably hate you even more if you lie to her and that could backfire for you in ways that you may not be able to predict (it's not a good idea to become enemies with someone at work).

 

I don't recommend lying to people, but seeing as you don't actually owe her anything you could tell her that you have a girlfriend. If she keeps acting too friendly you could tell her that your girlfriend is kinda jealous so she should stop sending you messages and stuff. It would be a good idea to hide your relationship status on Facebook (unless you want to set it to "in a relationship", but that might make your friends curious so hiding it makes more sense).

The Audiophile Thread

 

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Is she actually big and hairy? Or just a little beastly?

If she is in any way f*ckable, you could see how far she's willing to go. That might be fun.

If she is that ugly she probably has STDs and then he would just be better off killing her unless he wore a bag over his head

If she's really ugly, why would she have STDs? That means someone would've wanted to f*ck her.

Doesn't have to be a stf she got from someone else it could be an undescoveeed one but you could also use protection

 

Wait, so you believe physical appearance is linked to disease? Are you a medieval physician?

mIHXV.jpg

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Is she actually big and hairy? Or just a little beastly?

If she is in any way f*ckable, you could see how far she's willing to go. That might be fun.

If she is that ugly she probably has STDs and then he would just be better off killing her unless he wore a bag over his head

If she's really ugly, why would she have STDs? That means someone would've wanted to f*ck her.

Doesn't have to be a stf she got from someone else it could be an undescoveeed one but you could also use protection

 

 

ChHNZ.gif

Edited by Vlynor
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tell her you're gay c'mon.

L71cGcK.png

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Average white guy

Take a dump on her desk, problem solved.

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Tell her you can't go out on any night of the week because you are the raid leader of a very successful World of Warcraft guild that operates on a fixed schedule. If that doesn't drive her away I don't know what will.

I AM SORRY ABOUT THE QUALITY OF THE VIDEO, BUT MY WEBCAM IS ABSOLUTELY RUBBISH.

 

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Finn 7 five 11

I feel compelled to advise you to seek help, as you are being stalked and harassed. Although, were it me, I would just have lots of nasty sex with her and leech off of her financially. Constant f*cking while she's home, buying pizza and beer on her credit card while she's at work. Oh, to be loved.

You're the biggest f*ckin' druggo aye.

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Starting kissing another guy in front of her. That should put her off.

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F*ck all the 'tell her you're gay' posts, just tell her you're a member on a video game forum.

Edited by Rudy
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Is she actually big and hairy? Or just a little beastly?

If she is in any way f*ckable, you could see how far she's willing to go. That might be fun.

If she is that ugly she probably has STDs and then he would just be better off killing her unless he wore a bag over his head

Wait, so wearing a bag on my head will prevent STDs?

usZpdN9.png

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Is she actually big and hairy? Or just a little beastly?

If she is in any way f*ckable, you could see how far she's willing to go. That might be fun.

If she is that ugly she probably has STDs and then he would just be better off killing her unless he wore a bag over his head

Wait, so wearing a bag on my head will prevent STDs?

 

 

Depends on the head to which you're referring.

4XEtraA.jpg

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Cry out and tell her You wanted to have a relationship, but it´s now impossible because You are friends.

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Tracksuit Hitman

Tell her, "after discussing it with a bunch of forumers I have come to the conclusion that I'm not only gay, but you've got an STD because you have a terrible appearance."

 

If she doesn't lose interest after the forumers bit then you're f*cked!

Edited by geobst
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aka geobst

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Tell her, "after discussing it with a bunch of forumers...

WHOA THERE SLOW DOWN DAT PUSSY TRAIN

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usZpdN9.png

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Just file a sexual harassment complaint with your company. Easiest and most effective thing to do. They'll basically do all the hard work for you.

Prior to filing a bug against any of my code, please consider this response to common concerns.

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Black & White

Honestly, you have to be very blunt with someone like this in this situation. Use direct language and tell her that she needs to stop and that her actions are making you very uncomfortable. If she continues the behaviour and if it intensifies, yeah, you can report her for harassment. Also, maybe ask your friends to help you tell her to stop too.

 

Exactly. I'm not up with the "fake death" so-called "solution". Just be blunt and tell her to f*ck off. She'll end up getting herself hurt because you don't like her.

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swolo yaggins

You deleted your Facebook? Why didn't you just remove her as a friend, make all content private, and remove all her posts?

 

That would've been more reasonable.

5192:12.3.02
LM/SSH

mkl

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You deleted your Facebook? Why didn't you just remove her as a friend, make all content private, and remove all her posts?

 

That would've been more reasonable.

I don't know, deleting facebook seems like a reasonable solution. Not even for this, just in general.

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I Love Anna Kournikova

Dude I got it!

 

You should tell her your Gay!

 

O wait, did someone say that already? :sarcasm:

R2ZHo4B.png


SF Giants 2010 - 2012 - 2014 World Series Champs

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universetwisters

Here's what you do:

 

1. bring a bicycle and fake blood to work

2. tell her youre going on a biking trip to the woods after work

3. leave work before she does, MAKE SURE SHE DOES NOT SEE YOU.

4. crush your bicycle under your car in the middle of a parking lot

5. pour fake blood all over wrecked bike

6. leave bloodied, wrecked bike in the middle of the parking lot, in full view of her exit, as you leave

7. move to Nova Scotia, adopt Canadian culture and a new lifestyle.

 

You can't go wrong, trust me!

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Forty, the best thing to do is tell her you are not interested in dating co-workers and make it clear that you do not want her touching you in a inappropriate manner. If she continues, file a statement of facts against her and sent it the human resources dept.

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