Iain has feels.

[Otter]

I'm just quite interested in so much people saying that it was just one of many such short-term adventures the girl had.

The OP says that he never seen anyone he was with as happy as her. What he written generally gives me the impression that she really liked him too. It can't have all been fakery, right?

 

Why would you spend a minute with someone, of your own freewill, if you don't like them? (Unless you're a character on GIRLS, perhaps) Of course she liked him and had fun with him. Doesn't necessarily mean she puts the same value on the experience as our friend Iain, here.

And I'm not calling her slut, rather, looking at things a little more objectively - New Yorkers burn through mates faster than certain species of rabbits. Not just the girls, obviously. Hell, she could have been in a relationship already.

 

I think it's important to remember that one day does not give you enough time to get to know someone, on any level more than superficially, even if it feels all warm and mushy.

[Johan]

Speaking as a New Yorker all I have to say is that most girls here aren't into long term relationships, they're the ones that enjoy one night stands and all or something related to that.

But the way you're describing the fun you guys had and all I'm gonna guess that she's into you but doesn't wanna commit yet unless you're willing to be near her, all I can say is that

I wish you the best of luck with her dude, New York has plenty of other woman in the sea and many other places around the world if it doesn't end like you wanted it, try and contact her more often though

or else you might end up regretting it from my past experiences.

[iainspad]

I wish you the best of luck with her dude, New York has plenty of other woman in the sea and many other places around the world if it doesn't end like you wanted it, try and contact her more often though

or else you might end up regretting it from my past experiences.

That's the best way to see the glass half full, I guess. If she doesn't want to be with me, so be it. There's always someone for somebody.

 

I'll see what I can do, and hope for the best.

[Casey_Cadaver]

Again I disagree. There are plenty of lonely people out there that will forever search for a love that never comes... I'm glad you're in high spirits man either way. That's the first step to success. Just don't torture yourself if this one girl doesn't reciprocate your feelings.

[iainspad]

Again I disagree. There are plenty of lonely people out there that will forever search for a love that never comes... I'm glad you're in high spirits man either way. That's the first step to success. Just don't torture yourself if this one girl doesn't reciprocate your feelings.

I've learned a lot from my past let downs, but thank you for your input, I completely understand. I think I'm more positive these days because of my recent counselling, but that's the first step. I could be hurt, though it's not the end for me.

[gnad.1992]

Go for it bro. You have to do something. The worst thing is sitting at home, regretting something that you could've done/said. good luck !

[Johnny Applesauce]

Just my 2 cents

If she felt the same way she'd make contact back. I would put money on her not being a virgin. I don't believe it's wrong to generalize this. Quit listening to what people say about who they are and watch what they do. The truth is in action. Tattoos, numerous piercings, and having dreads is a huge tell to me. It shows that she likes attention. She wants to be noticed. Honestly it reminds me of a lot of girls I know. And the types of girls they are.

 

Sluts.

 

This may be a huge leap to some of you. No, I don't know her. No, I probably haven't slept with her. But I have slept with girls that fall into the tattoos, piercing, stupid hair, and other attention getting behavior. You think a girl that gets intimate that soon with someone hasn't done the same before? You think a girl will sit there and get pierced and have needles push ink into her and the be afraid of sex?

 

Maybe... but I highly doubt it. And if she is afraid of sex it sounds like she's damaged goods to me. That's a job for therapy. Girls like that are poison.

 

If you like her go for it. I support that. What I won't do is act like I don't see what's going on a mile away. What I won't support is acting like this is the type of girl that's healthy to chase... And I don't advise chasing a girl ever. Make them come to you.

Side A:

Just because anyone anywhere choose to do anything/everything to,themselves,their bodies,or to act a certain way doesn't mean that's the way they are. Sure we all know the types but the reality of it is that u truely don't know what anyone is thinking or the reasons behind what they are doing unless you are in their head doing it. It's what makes us all individuals. People often change pace quickly, do crazy things on a whim,follow their heart,try to be cool,awesome,funny,happy,sad,dark,brash,risky,fun,sarcastic,obvious etc for whatever reasons. . It's a big world. You have pple who embrace it, take it in & enjoy it,you have others that mayb be more secluded/withdrawn/overprotected/sheltered/inverted/babied/spoiled/unintrested/depressed/hopeless/self aware/living like a hermit crab/withheld/ heavily medicated/show disintrest in the world or anything etc etc etc. Point is, we all live in this crazy world, we don't know what we will all get when we walk out the front door& go about our daily lives interacting with other people, if we did then we wouldn't make the decisions that get us hurt or do the sh*t that makes us hurt now would we

 

Side B: your probably right and are just looking out for him so he doesn't get in these situations anymore cause u've seen them plenty of times to know what he's facing & want him to get up & get out there so he can start finding other girls instead of being stuck on just one that hasn't worked out for him the way he wanted.

 

Why did you feel the need to mention she was white though?

 

Incase an upside negro such as yourself came along.

 

Nale is right though. They will easily forget you. You should of went a little bit further and she would of known that you actually cared about her. Maybe she thought you felt the same as her. That's the problem with women. You've literally got to write a piece of paper and stick it to their forehead in order for them to realize you're feelings.

 

true, but also is the problem with guys... obviously lol. It's what kinda sux about liking or loving someone, you always hope they feel the same way but really don't know unless they tell you, or you are married & already know their feelings to where they don't have to say it

 

 

1. We have the odd communication over Instagram and Facebook. That's about it really. I found her interaction on her own Facebook to be pretty non-existent.
2. The 'white' thing was just a small joke on the whole 'colourful' thing, though I guess it wasn't funny in retrospect. The odd dumb joke is what I use as a coping mechanism.
3. I still care because I've never seen anyone so happy with me in my whole life. It's very tough to have that happen.
4. I guess if I ever go back and she doesn't seem to care; hey, I have a big city to choose from right? I'm just trying to cope with the grief. At least I'm trying to take the reality of it all.

You should of went a little bit further and she would of known that you actually cared about her.

I'm gonna be honest; I meant sex, and we didn't go that far because she told she was a virgin, and she told me she had uneasy experiences on it before so I didn't take it any further, for her.

 

well that's good, at least you didn't keep forcing it on her, or leave her high & dry when she didn't want to do it. Even if she was lying(heavin forbid) the fact that u handled it that way says something about your character

 

 

 

Why did you feel the need to mention she was white though?

 

Incase an upside negro such as yourself came along.

 

Nale is right though. They will easily forget you. You should of went a little bit further and she would of known that you actually cared about her. Maybe she thought you felt the same as her. That's the problem with women. You've literally got to write a piece of paper and stick it to their forehead in order for them to realize you're feelings.

 

Worst advice ever. Women don't want to hang out with men with feelings. I don't care what they say. They want to chase. Not be chased. And B&W... your comment towards Nale doesn't make any sense.

 

Iain... learn some game. There is a ton of info about women on the internet. Don't fall for typical be a nice guy game. Look at the world around you and ask yourself, "What guys get girls? Why?"

 

Get out of this slump and forget her. Oh... btw... I guarantee a girl with dreads, piercings, tattoos, and any girl that's "colorful" in a place like Brooklyn.... is not a virgin. Girls say that sh*t to guys ignorant enough to believe it.

 

her friends could be telling her the exact same thing lol, forget him, there is tons of info in guys on the internet, don't be the typical virgin, look for what girls get guys, why etc

 

 

in any case i'm srry for you man, i'm happy you met this fun girl & had a good time but if it doesn't work out then i'm srry for ya, at least she gave you something to make you want to better yourself right? someone once told me that pple come into your life for a reason, some are in it for a lifetime, & some r just passin through, but they all come to give you something that you need, even if you can't see it at the moment.

 

hope something good comes of it