Iain has feels.

[iainspad]

Hi GTAF.

Thought I'd share what I'm feeling right now; it's beginning to really bug me. Things are going fine right now, but there's one thing that's keeps coming back to my mind. I'm not 100% sure if this is the right person, but every time I see pictures of her I can't help but get feels. Bear in mind, I am single and I do enjoy it a bit much, but this one has been tough to move on from.

 

Last year, on my last day in NYC, I met someone randomly. The sight of her just blew me away; a cute girl, with piercings, tattoos, dreads, and all round colourful. I was just blown away. So, I asked if we could hang out, so we went around Manhattan, around an hour after we met, we seemed interested in each other, sharing what we had in common, and just really getting along. We even went to the Empire State building, and she told me she had never been before. We were at the top of the city, and spending time with her up there was awesome. I'd never seen anyone I was with so happy.

 

We went to where I was staying in Brooklyn, and we were...intimate, but we didn't go much further, and I hope I didn't weird her out. But the time we spent together is something I'll never forget, and when I was walking her to the Subway Station I was telling her I would be back, and what we would do, and I had never seen anyone so happy in my whole life. When I left her, I kept wanting to say something, but I didn't know what. Later that evening, I got my plane back to England.

 

The odd thing was, the night before, I felt that something interesting would happen, but when she came along everything just felt perfect. She inspires me to be who I want to be, as a designer and developer, rather than just be another random guy who just follows what others are doing in my industry.

 

Afterwards...there was so little communication. I tried speaking to her, but nothing. It kinda feels like she doesn't care, but I think there's very little I'm seeing here. Regardless, I will go back to NYC this year, but I wonder if she would even want to see me let alone care. I do miss her and whenever I see new pictures of her, and the old ones, it makes me miss her.

It's been 10 months since that day we met, and I have tried moving on and seeing other people but regardless, I do miss her. I'd do anything for her. I know what most people are going to say; she doesn't like me or she doesn't care at all, or took me along for the ride. Frankly, I don't even know, and her communication attempts are little.

So yeah, just thought I'd get my feelings out, it's hard not to feel a bit down.

 

IN B4 "OP IS A <insert derogatory insult here>".

EDIT: I should make it clear, I just want to get it all out. It's kinda hard finding someone I know to talk to about it, and I trust the GTAF community, you guys f*cking rock.

Edited February 10, 2014 by iainspad

[Otter]

What do you mean by "I tried speaking to her, but nothing"? Did you call her or just email or facebook or something?

 

Those New York City girls, man. They'll chew you up and spit you out. It sounds like you guys had a fun time but it also sounds like it was... a typical adventure for her, if you catch my drift?

[Mr. House]

Falling for a girl you met once and then being hung up on her for 10 months despite not talking to her or having any communication?

 

She's probably forgotten you exist man, sorry.

 

Why did you feel the need to mention she was white though?

[Black & White]

Why did you feel the need to mention she was white though?

 

Incase an upside negro such as yourself came along.

 

Nale is right though. They will easily forget you. You should of went a little bit further and she would of known that you actually cared about her. Maybe she thought you felt the same as her. That's the problem with women. You've literally got to write a piece of paper and stick it to their forehead in order for them to realize you're feelings.

[iainspad]

1. We have the odd communication over Instagram and Facebook. That's about it really. I found her interaction on her own Facebook to be pretty non-existent.
2. The 'white' thing was just a small joke on the whole 'colourful' thing, though I guess it wasn't funny in retrospect. The odd dumb joke is what I use as a coping mechanism.
3. I still care because I've never seen anyone so happy with me in my whole life. It's very tough to have that happen.
4. I guess if I ever go back and she doesn't seem to care; hey, I have a big city to choose from right? I'm just trying to cope with the grief. At least I'm trying to take the reality of it all.

You should of went a little bit further and she would of known that you actually cared about her.

I'm gonna be honest; I meant sex, and we didn't go that far because she told she was a virgin, and she told me she had uneasy experiences on it before so I didn't take it any further, for her.

Edited February 10, 2014 by iainspad

[WBaker]

Does she know you're going to be in NY soon? Ask her to get together with you. It happens or it doesn't. Good luck.

[iainspad]

Does she know you're going to be in NY soon? Ask her to get together with you. It happens or it doesn't. Good luck.

I hope to be in NYC around October/November, but I will let her know long beforehand. And you're right, it either happens or it doesn't. Thanks for the luck.

 

I'm just glad I'm actually talking about it, makes it easier than keeping it away in my head.

Edited February 10, 2014 by iainspad

[D- Ice]

I'm no expert in this subject, but my feelings are that she is concerned about thelong-distance nature of the relationship, and the potential difficulties in it.

If I was in your shoes, I'd share the concerns you posted here with her, and bring up the topic of the long-distance nature of your relationship and reassure her about it.

Hope you all the best with it mate.

[Panz]

Don't hang yourself up on this. A lot of girls, as Otter said, take part in these types of "experiences" quite often. I'm curious as to where you met her. The places you find people really can say a lot about their personalities.

 

Regardless, this was one meet-up ten months ago. I doubt she forgot about you, but keep in mind that some people engage in this type of activity quite often and don't think much of it. If she said anything meaningful to you, then maybe you can consider her feelings in this, but otherwise, I wouldn't read so much into it.

 

Of course, be an optimist and tell her you're coming. You'll never know unless you try.

[Casey_Cadaver]

 

 

Why did you feel the need to mention she was white though?

 

Incase an upside negro such as yourself came along.

 

Nale is right though. They will easily forget you. You should of went a little bit further and she would of known that you actually cared about her. Maybe she thought you felt the same as her. That's the problem with women. You've literally got to write a piece of paper and stick it to their forehead in order for them to realize you're feelings.

 

Worst advice ever. Women don't want to hang out with men with feelings. I don't care what they say. They want to chase. Not be chased. And B&W... your comment towards Nale doesn't make any sense.

 

Iain... learn some game. There is a ton of info about women on the internet. Don't fall for typical be a nice guy game. Look at the world around you and ask yourself, "What guys get girls? Why?"

 

Get out of this slump and forget her. Oh... btw... I guarantee a girl with dreads, piercings, tattoos, and any girl that's "colorful" in a place like Brooklyn.... is not a virgin. Girls say that sh*t to guys ignorant enough to believe it.

[iainspad]

Iain... learn some game. There is a ton of info about women on the internet. Don't fall for typical be a nice guy game. Look at the world around you and ask yourself, "What guys get girls? Why?"

 

Get out of this slump and forget her. Oh... btw... I guarantee a girl with dreads, piercings, tattoos, and any girl that's "colorful" in a place like Brooklyn.... is not a virgin. Girls say that sh*t to guys ignorant enough to believe it.

 

...thanks.

Edited February 10, 2014 by iainspad

[Casey_Cadaver]

...thanks.

 

 

 

 

Don't take that as something I said with a backhand. I'm just being honest homie. Did you come here asking for help or to feel better about yourself? In this one case you can have both... but it's going to take realizing what you're doing wrong in order to get to where you want to be.

 

Obsessing over this one girl is commonly referred to as "oneitis". There are way too many girls out there to worry about one halfway around the world.

Edited February 10, 2014 by Casey_Cadaver

[iainspad]

Don't take that as something I said with a backhand. I'm just being honest homie. Did you come here asking for help or to feel better about yourself? In this one case you can have both... but it's going to take realizing what you're doing wrong in order to get to where you want to be.

 

Obsessing over this one girl is commonly referred to as "oneitis". There are way too many girls out there to worry about one halfway around the world.

 

Ach, I know what you're saying, I just took what you said the wrong way but I understand you're looking out for me. But the thing is, and call me ignorant or dumb for this, I honestly don't know what to make of this situation.

 

I'll put it this way, if she wants to know me more when I come back over, that would be great. If not, then that's it then, I can't do anything about it. I'm probably burning over nothing.

 

I really just wanted to get my feelings out as I kept it away for some time.

Edited February 10, 2014 by iainspad

[D- Ice]

I'm just quite interested in so much people saying that it was just one of many such short-term adventures the girl had.

The OP says that he never seen anyone he was with as happy as her. What he written generally gives me the impression that she really liked him too. It can't have all been fakery, right?

[I cucked Alex Jones]

 

 

 

Why did you feel the need to mention she was white though?

 

Incase an upside negro such as yourself came along.

 

Nale is right though. They will easily forget you. You should of went a little bit further and she would of known that you actually cared about her. Maybe she thought you felt the same as her. That's the problem with women. You've literally got to write a piece of paper and stick it to their forehead in order for them to realize you're feelings.

 

Worst advice ever. Women don't want to hang out with men with feelings. I don't care what they say. They want to chase. Not be chased. And B&W... your comment towards Nale doesn't make any sense.

 

Iain... learn some game. There is a ton of info about women on the internet. Don't fall for typical be a nice guy game. Look at the world around you and ask yourself, "What guys get girls? Why?"

 

Get out of this slump and forget her. Oh... btw... I guarantee a girl with dreads, piercings, tattoos, and any girl that's "colorful" in a place like Brooklyn.... is not a virgin. Girls say that sh*t to guys ignorant enough to believe it.

 

That was my favorite part. Thanks for the chuckle.

[Raavi]

 

 

 

Why did you feel the need to mention she was white though?

 

Incase an upside negro such as yourself came along.

 

Nale is right though. They will easily forget you. You should of went a little bit further and she would of known that you actually cared about her. Maybe she thought you felt the same as her. That's the problem with women. You've literally got to write a piece of paper and stick it to their forehead in order for them to realize you're feelings.

 

Worst advice ever. Women don't want to hang out with men with feelings. I don't care what they say. They want to chase. Not be chased. And B&W... your comment towards Nale doesn't make any sense.

 

Iain... learn some game. There is a ton of info about women on the internet. Don't fall for typical be a nice guy game. Look at the world around you and ask yourself, "What guys get girls? Why?"

 

Get out of this slump and forget her. Oh... btw... I guarantee a girl with dreads, piercings, tattoos, and any girl that's "colorful" in a place like Brooklyn.... is not a virgin. Girls say that sh*t to guys ignorant enough to believe it.

 

 

Quite the generalizations there, different girls like different type of guys/girls/both (hey, I keep an open mind). Some like nice guys, some like assholes, some like a mixture, some like lazy good for nothing fat-asses. As for her not being a virgin anymore, that's quite a lot to say considering you don't even know, let alone shared a bed with the girl.

 

If you feel like you guys hit it off, go for it- Let her know you'll be back town and who knows..

[Panz]

Totally fine, iain. Honestly, that's the best way to get rid of those feelings. And no one here can blame you for thinking about this girl for so long. I'm sure most of us here have gotten hung up on another person at one time or another. It's completely human, and you shouldn't feel weird about it. Just don't go into it with high expectations.

 

Casey: I wouldn't say women don't want to be chased. A lot of girls will tease guys around just for some attention. These are the types of girls with insecurity issues, and it's really quite common, especially in women in their early 20s (just from what I've seen in college). Plenty of others like to chase, as well. There's a good mixture of both types of girls in this world, so you really shouldn't generalize.

 

And as others have said, this girl might be a genuine sweetheart who does feel the same way. It's hard to tell. She might have trouble with the distance issue. I know that if a great guy came along for a day and then flew a few thousand miles away the next, I'd feel pretty hopeless about the situation.

[iainspad]

If you feel like you guys hit it off, go for it- Let her know you'll be back town and who knows..

 

Here's hoping something will happen. I'm not going to expect anything to happen, in case she isn't bothered, but if it does, that would be amazing.

 

I'm just quite interested in so much people saying that it was just one of many such short-term adventures the girl had.

The OP says that he never seen anyone he was with as happy as her. What he written generally gives me the impression that she really liked him too. It can't have all been fakery, right?

We were just two people who go through our separate, single, adventurous lives. We just happened to be in the right place and spent a day together, considering the fact I was leaving that night.

 

 

Totally fine, iain. Honestly, that's the best way to get rid of those feelings. And no one here can blame you for thinking about this girl for so long. I'm sure most of us here have gotten hung up on another person at one time or another. It's completely human, and you shouldn't feel weird about it. Just don't go into it with high expectations.

 

Casey: I wouldn't say women don't want to be chased. A lot of girls will tease guys around just for some attention. These are the types of girls with insecurity issues, and it's really quite common, especially in women in their early 20s (just from what I've seen in college). Plenty of others like to chase, as well. There's a good mixture of both types of girls in this world, so you really shouldn't generalize.

 

And as others have said, this girl might be a genuine sweetheart who does feel the same way. It's hard to tell. She might have trouble with the distance issue. I know that if a great guy came along for a day and then flew a few thousand miles away the next, I'd feel pretty hopeless about the situation.

Thanks Panz! You're very understanding. I'll try and keep my feelings balanced. Besides, I think my career as a designer and developer, especially in a community circle, is about to take a turn for the better. I'm glad I'm getting my feelings out and, from past experience, I'm going to try and stop it getting in my way for my career. If anything, I would hope she would be proud of what I can do as a person. We're both artsy people, and she inspired me to be the person I always wanted to be in my career, rather than just be another (potential) hipster with ego issues. We get that kind a lot.

[Casey_Cadaver]

If she felt the same way she'd make contact back. I would put money on her not being a virgin. I don't believe it's wrong to generalize this. Quit listening to what people say about who they are and watch what they do. The truth is in action. Tattoos, numerous piercings, and having dreads is a huge tell to me. It shows that she likes attention. She wants to be noticed. Honestly it reminds me of a lot of girls I know. And the types of girls they are.

 

Sluts.

 

This may be a huge leap to some of you. No, I don't know her. No, I probably haven't slept with her. But I have slept with girls that fall into the tattoos, piercing, stupid hair, and other attention getting behavior. You think a girl that gets intimate that soon with someone hasn't done the same before? You think a girl will sit there and get pierced and have needles push ink into her and the be afraid of sex?

 

Maybe... but I highly doubt it. And if she is afraid of sex it sounds like she's damaged goods to me. That's a job for therapy. Girls like that are poison.

 

If you like her go for it. I support that. What I won't do is act like I don't see what's going on a mile away. What I won't support is acting like this is the type of girl that's healthy to chase... And I don't advise chasing a girl ever. Make them come to you.

[Finn 7 five 11]

 

Why did you feel the need to mention she was white though?

He was just describing the person to give us an image in our head.

 

I pictured damn college liberal girl.

Edited February 10, 2014 by •¿F¡ññ4L¡ƒ£?•

[MarshalMoo]

Actually, lain is pretty apathetic, being a virtual creature that can practically exist and be anywhere between both worlds of existence at once.

[iainspad]

Actually, lain is pretty apathetic, being a virtual creature that can practically exist and be anywhere between both worlds of existence at once.

Heh, you know what, you've actually hit the nail on the head, gave me a good giggle.

Edited February 10, 2014 by iainspad

[Casey_Cadaver]

I don't get it

[Panz]

If she felt the same way she'd make contact back. I would put money on her not being a virgin. I don't believe it's wrong to generalize this. Quit listening to what people say about who they are and watch what they do. The truth is in action. Tattoos, numerous piercings, and having dreads is a huge tell to me. It shows that she likes attention. She wants to be noticed. Honestly it reminds me of a lot of girls I know. And the types of girls they are.

 

Sluts.

 

This may be a huge leap to some of you. No, I don't know her. No, I probably haven't slept with her. But I have slept with girls that fall into the tattoos, piercing, stupid hair, and other attention getting behavior. You think a girl that gets intimate that soon with someone hasn't done the same before? You think a girl will sit there and get pierced and have needles push ink into her and the be afraid of sex?

 

Maybe... but I highly doubt it. And if she is afraid of sex it sounds like she's damaged goods to me. That's a job for therapy. Girls like that are poison.

 

If you like her go for it. I support that. What I won't do is act like I don't see what's going on a mile away. What I won't support is acting like this is the type of girl that's healthy to chase... And I don't advise chasing a girl ever. Make them come to you.

You have absolutely no idea how females work, do you? You think tattoos mean something? I've met the sweetest, most unselfish people, and they have tattoos. So what?

 

And a girl can have plenty of reasons not to have sex. Who knows, the girl could've been raped or sexually abused, or she could've just gotten out of a terrible relationship. You have no idea. Females can't just be categorized based on their exteriors. That's absolutely ridiculous. Everyone comes with baggage, and it's never his/her job to disclose it to you the second you meet him/her.

 

We all know that girls are complex as hell, and it's really hard to read a woman based on her lack of response. There are too many underlying factors that could be causing that behavior, and you'll never really know for sure until you see her in person. That being said, I'm not saying it's likely this girl is interested, iain, but I am saying that there's always a chance, and if you think it's worth it to try, well, any girl will at least be flattered by your interest and effort.

[Casey_Cadaver]

You have absolutely no idea how females work, do you?

 

lulz...

[I cucked Alex Jones]

You can't tell a women how females work. You're going to look like a dumbass.

[iainspad]

We all know that girls are complex as hell, and it's really hard to read a woman based on her lack of response. There are too many underlying factors that could be causing that behavior, and you'll never really know for sure until you see her in person. That being said, I'm not saying it's likely this girl is interested, iain, but I am saying that there's always a chance, and if you think it's worth it to try, well, any girl will at least be flattered by your interest and effort.

I think that's the only way I'll know, but time will tell. For all I know, she'll have moved on, or maybe we'll see each other again. Will it hurt if she doesn't want to see me? Of course. But that's her motive, and I have to respect that.

 

It's not the first time this sort of situation has happened, but it's certainly the strongest. I've found it difficult to feel anything for anyone for a long time and then she came along. We'll see what happens.

 

You guys have really cheered me up tonight; yeah, some things I didn't like reading, but hey, everyone here has put their effort in for me, and I'm really grateful. :-)

 

We'll see what happens. Of course, there's fears I have if she isn't the one for me or if I'm making the wrong move, but I'm not one to back down, I can get over the fear. Going to NYC last year was a ballsy move for an autistic person like me who went there for himself, by himself, my family and friends heard about it and they were stunned I did it all on my own.

[MarshalMoo]

You can't tell a women how females work. You're going to look like a dumbass.

Did you make grammatical errors in your post to try and prove your point?

[I cucked Alex Jones]

If I could reach through my screen and smack the sh*t out of you...

[MarshalMoo]

All I was saying was I really got your point because you made grammatical errors there. It really stuck with me.