Stealing Lazers ist bullsh*t

[Zoots Remuvah]

What I've found a bit rum recently is getting into the fort and it being virtually devoid of aircraft.. never seemed to be that way... now it's sometimes luck to find even one Lazer in there..

 

answers on a postcard...

[marco-polo]

Kill yourself.

 

It's the only way to "freshen" the place up i've found, annoying when people are outside so just drive away from the hangers and come back. Maybe, they'll be there. They will vanish when you're on top though sometimes.

Edited February 2, 2014 by marco-polo

[I.haigh]

It's not hard, go in by helicopter, fly in-between two jets if you're with a buddy, sprint for you life, hop inside, take off, fly straight up, call lester. Mission accomplished.

[marco-polo]

Mission accomplished.

 

That's only step one yo, kill the tank before you break out the bubbly.

[Pusher87]

I don't consider myself a great player and my success rate stealing lazers is almost 100% now. At first it was hard but once you know where the jets are located it isn't hard at all. Just try memorizing the jet locations so you can go in with a strategy instead of running in and hoping for the best. If you're on ps3 add me and ill show you how easy it is.

[Shaundi.]

If you steal the Lazer in the big open hangar, you've made the stupidest move in GTA Online. Only steal the ones from the edge of the main runway. All you gotta deal with is a soldier & a Crusader. Do the dick move by going in the big hangar, you've got tanks, Barracks, Crusaders & loads of soldiers to deal with.

 

Lazer stealing 101.

[marco-polo]

Pretty much..

 

Either fly in and land on the poor fella or drive in, blow the truck up (usually get this near the closed hanger) and flatten him. When you're on the jet, you'll have 2 crusaders and a truck approaching - get in, hit the truck and he'll blow em all up.

[CReaper210]

The only problem I have with stealing a jet is the AI sometimes bullsh*ts me. Sometimes they shoot their guns backwards(as in, I'm coming up behind them, and suddenly blow up for no reason). Sometimes they kill me at RIDICULOUS angles. And sometimes, the missiles that they fire just do NOT miss me, they just keep chasing me, no matter what kind of maneuver I do. But for the most part, it is easy IMO. Just some bad luck once in a while.

[GTAV26111]

Just keep doing loops, like when you get a bit of altitude and you hear the lock on quickly start doing loops and try to out fly the enemy jet, usually only one will appear.

[theGypsy]

It's not hard, go in by helicopter, fly in-between two jets if you're with a buddy, sprint for you life, hop inside, take off, fly straight up, call lester. Mission accomplished.

 

This.... no idea why peeps are jumping the fence and other methods when U can just chopper in and grab one.

[marco-polo]

Well if you've used your heli service and need to get back in...

[ChilledMatt]

If you steal the Lazer in the big open hangar, you've made the stupidest move in GTA Online. Only steal the ones from the edge of the main runway. All you gotta deal with is a soldier & a Crusader. Do the dick move by going in the big hangar, you've got tanks, Barracks, Crusaders & loads of soldiers to deal with.

Lazer stealing 101.

I can get them 4/5 times now and I often take the one in the big hanger. Seems to be more tanks there at night though. If taking the ones in the pens at the east flying straight up looking behind you and waiting til any missiles are close before attempting to evade them seems to work every time.

[fw3]

Sorry if someone pointed this out already, but here you go:

 

1. drive to the other side of the tunnel by the base, preferably in a very fast car.
2. on the other side of the tunnel, turn around and go back the way you came, instead, driving up the right side onto the cliff/ramp.

3. cliff/ramp will launch you over fence – stabilize your vehicle! – land and drive as fast as possible to the first jet silo.
4. park vehicle just to the right side of silo fence, get out, and run to jet (if there's a soldier, shoot him quick)
5. press Y to get in jet – this is where you can call Lester and set up the "Remove wanted," if you choose that route.
6. Once you're in jet, accelerate quickly – this all has to be timed accurately.

7. Take off... as soon as you do, they will fire missiles at you. The trick is to FLY STRAIGHT UP IN THE AIR. The missiles will go under you EVERY TIME.
8. You'll have your 4-star level, so you can click that "Remove wanted" that should be on-screen still, or if you choose, just fly away and evade cop(ters) and more missiles.
9. Click the left thumbstick to raise your landing gear - it helps you fly a skitch faster.
10. Enjoy Lazer airways and have a pleasant journey.

Hope this was helpful. Someone told me this and it was a total game changer for me. I get a jet 10 out of 10 times, now. seriously. Cheers!

EDIT: also, one other cool thing is that if you leave your car there and you die over Los Santos, you can call the mechanic and he'll bring that car to you after you respawn! HA!

Edited February 2, 2014 by fw3

[Kampioen]

Ist das bullsh*t? Wirklich?

Yesterday I broke into the base and it was completely empty. Not jets, no trucks, no soldiers. Had a wanted level but no police either.

[PerceusSOZ]

I am the only one who thinks that stealing a Lazer from the Fort Zalubullsh*t is nearly impossible? I tried it 1 minute ago, followed the tips that I should fly near the ground to avoid missiles, but it didn't work. I was immediately followed by 3 (!) Lazers, I managed to avoid one missile which done a beep in my cockpit, but then another invidsible missile destroyed me. No beep, and I was looking back and don't see a f*cking missile! All I see was 3 NPC Lazers which followed me.

 

It's bullsh*t, and has nothing to do with skill to steal a Jet, only luck..

It's supposed to be near impossible. You really think the military wants you stealing their multi-million dollar aircraft?

[marco-polo]

If you die, don't drive right round the other side fw3 - drive along the road towards the steel bridge and drive up the grassy part of the hill till you go near the entrance. Up on the hill is a little bump to jump over the fence with...

 

I used to do the tunnel trek but it takes forever unless you're already on the highway.

[JiNX77]

Sandking owners can pull up to the wall behind the red and white striped secondary con tower on the south side of the runway. Climb on the cab then up and over the wall. the wanted stars don't appear until you exit the area with all the gennies and you touch the tarmac. From here kill the 2 soldiers just outside the gate and dash to either of the 2 nearby jets. Take off and go straight up, the ai jets will follow for a while but then level out and leave you alone. This has only failed me once.

[Pixel S]

Use the character wheel glitch if you REALLY can't get out of there in one piece.

If you do a full circle soon as you take off then keep spinning around you get out easy.

[marco-polo]

You know you're terrible if you gotta resort to that...

[Pixel S]

You know you're terrible if you gotta resort to that...

it's just an option if you really struggle lol

[marco-polo]

Haha whatever gets you out i guess

 

I wish the lazer threads weren't always f*cked over so we could actually chat in one thread!

[JohnDoe7125539271]

I had no stars, have been over LS & been shot down twice with the cannon by a Lazer NPC. Annoying!

[Shaundi.]

I stole a Lazer from the edge of the main runway (smartest thing to do obviously), u-turn then take off. Did a kamikaze going up & a missile just went above my head. An AI Lazer in Vinewood Hills in front of me shot me down with cannons. Yes in front. f*cking ridiculous.

[novesori]

 

I am the only one who thinks that stealing a Lazer from the Fort Zalubullsh*t is nearly impossible? I tried it 1 minute ago, followed the tips that I should fly near the ground to avoid missiles, but it didn't work. I was immediately followed by 3 (!) Lazers, I managed to avoid one missile which done a beep in my cockpit, but then another invidsible missile destroyed me. No beep, and I was looking back and don't see a f*cking missile! All I see was 3 NPC Lazers which followed me.

 

It's bullsh*t, and has nothing to do with skill to steal a Jet, only luck..

It's supposed to be near impossible. You really think the military wants you stealing their multi-million dollar aircraft?

 

 

Yeah, but you are able to call a tank from some illegal smug for $200. That's legit as f*ck.

[Der Süden]

It's easy if you know how to do it. I fly vertically until the npc Lazer stops following me (most of the time there's one doing it) and then I'm heading toward south. Works every single time for me. Strangely the npc Lazer often comes back when I'm heading toward north and shoots me down sometimes.

[scrublord]

My friends and I steal Lazers all the time... even my noob friends can do it...

[Kampioen]

Sorry if someone pointed this out already, but here you go:

 

1. drive to the other side of the tunnel by the base, preferably in a very fast car.

2. on the other side of the tunnel, turn around and go back the way you came, instead, driving up the right side onto the cliff/ramp.

3. cliff/ramp will launch you over fence – stabilize your vehicle! – land and drive as fast as possible to the first jet silo.

4. park vehicle just to the right side of silo fence, get out, and run to jet (if there's a soldier, shoot him quick)

5. press Y to get in jet – this is where you can call Lester and set up the "Remove wanted," if you choose that route.

6. Once you're in jet, accelerate quickly – this all has to be timed accurately.

7. Take off... as soon as you do, they will fire missiles at you. The trick is to FLY STRAIGHT UP IN THE AIR. The missiles will go under you EVERY TIME.

8. You'll have your 4-star level, so you can click that "Remove wanted" that should be on-screen still, or if you choose, just fly away and evade cop(ters) and more missiles.

9. Click the left thumbstick to raise your landing gear - it helps you fly a skitch faster.

10. Enjoy Lazer airways and have a pleasant journey.

 

Hope this was helpful. Someone told me this and it was a total game changer for me. I get a jet 10 out of 10 times, now. seriously. Cheers!

 

EDIT: also, one other cool thing is that if you leave your car there and you die over Los Santos, you can call the mechanic and he'll bring that car to you after you respawn! HA!

 

What the hell is a jet silo?

[marco-polo]

I'm guessing a parking space?

[Soran Is On]

Parachute into open hangar. Take off and fly immediately straight up. When your 3 or 4 km in the air it's now safe to fly away.

[baconbosssauce]

Tbh.. pull an Immelmann shortly after takeoff and you're usually out no problem...

 

I do this too and it always guarantees me a Lazer.