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Tritium

Funniest things NPCs say.

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Paisan™

I GOTTA DATE WITH A CHEESE DELUXE!

 

or

 

CHEESY VAGINAS!

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DentureDynamite

Heard a new one last night--was trying to evade another player in the subway, and was *ahem* clearing out a few NPCs so he couldn't surprise me with a mugger blending into the crowd.

 

I go down the end of the escalator (NPCs running, screaming), and at the bottom left of the escalator is a crouching, terrified woman who says (in a very proper British accent):

 

"Please don't shoot me; I'm just here on holiday!"

 

Hilarious! She's one of the few NPCs I left alone. :)

 

P.S. Even the Ammu-nation guy got some new lines recently--spend some time there; quite rewarding. One is about, uh, diarrhea. 8-O

Edited by DentureDynamite
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Forza Harrd

I stole a car on Rt 68 from a lady who looked like a cross between the "I want to see your manager" haircut meme lady and a middle aged female Trump supporter who said "Go f*ck your mama! In the KEYSTER!"

 

#died

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touchedmysoul09

A lot of funny ones, but one line that always makes me laugh (and probably just because of how it is delivered):

"What's my name, b*tch?!"

 

That and the one lady in Blaine County saying "That vehicle makes me moist." :D

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DentureDynamite

Someday R* is actually going to make this guy flatulate while I'm robbing the store:

 

farting_npc.png

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thepiebaker

A lot of funny ones, but one line that always makes me laugh (and probably just because of how it is delivered):

"What's my name, b*tch?!"

 

d3524dd3c2529e2fd3f98027f5ae5877--deadpo
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SlingShotUK

What an awesome thread! The ped's say some brilliant things but it's amazing when they seem to directly interact with you and like they are responding to what you are wearing etc. I made this video a few years ago of an interaction during one of my crews theme nights - we were all dressed as clowns. When I stopped by some gang members I couldn't believe what one said as I got out my car.. :)

 

 

Edited by SlingShotUK
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rusbeckia

One of the funniest things for me are the lowrider gangsters screaming whats happeniiiiiiiinnng?

There are also very kind and gentle responses like nice hat. Where you got that?

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SlingShotUK

Well.. I suppose you don't see this everyday (love this ped response - hear it a lot where stuff is going down).

 

 

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Ryancoke66

What an awesome thread! The ped's say some brilliant things but it's amazing when they seem to directly interact with you and like they are responding to what you are wearing etc. I made this video a few years ago of an interaction during one of my crews theme nights - we were all dressed as clowns. When I stopped by some gang members I couldn't believe what one said as I got out my car.. :)

 

Lmao I had this happen too. I was dressed in a clown mask and walking down the street to hear "you f*cking clown". Made me laugh.

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rebel-yin

I was up in Paleto Bay with a few wanted stars on me. I was able to lose them by ducking into an alley behind a few buildings right about the time a few of the policemen were pretty close to me on foot. Once the stars disappeared they immediately turned around and started walking away like they typically do in that situation. I decided to follow behind one of them as close as I could when all of a sudden he turned back towards me and yelled "rape"! I laughed so hard I I dropped my controller. Still one of the funniest things that's happened to me while playing!!

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SlingShotUK

Lmao I had this happen too. I was dressed in a clown mask and walking down the street to hear "you f*cking clown". Made me laugh.

LOL awesome! I bet it's not coded that way and is just random but do love those kind of interactions.

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Fatsanchez

"CARAJO!!"

this one always makes me laught

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DentureDynamite

^^ Doesn't this just mean the f--- word?

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touchedmysoul09

Just heard a new one that made me laugh...

 

A very overweight woman:

"So I finally arranged a three-way between ____ at work and ____ from my sex addicts group....ohh, it'll be fine, as long as there's plenty of rubbers...and turkey."

 

:lol::lol::lol:

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Battle Scars

I heard an NPC say "I gotta take a shower, cause I smell s**t around me" WTF?

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Chrome Dome Rome

Why do you think I need a hard on pill? So I can give you a deep dickin 😂😂

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Battle Scars

Heard a Lost MC say "Uh oh I smell pussy" LOL

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Dragon_Of_Tragedy

GOVERNMENT STOOOOOGE!

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touchedmysoul09

Was just sitting at an intersection in the passenger seat of my friend's Vigilante and the lady NPC next to us goes: "Nice car! .... Compensating for something?"

 

The timing was sublime. :lol::lol::lol:

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Super Gran Turismo

I haven't heard the "FOCK ME IN DE ASS" guy in a long time.

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SergioMath

Shish

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IceDree

"I'd f*ck in that car"

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Flyin_Japman

I love it when some Indian guy says "We are all going to Hell!" when someone crashes into something.

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Karami

Merryweather

 

​"Bend over, here it comes!"

"Prick!"

"Die, f*cker! Ahhh!"

"I'm gonna sh*t down your neck!"

"Kill yourself somehow!"

 

Rednecks/O'Neils

 

​"Sh*t dick!"

"Yer f*ckin' dead, dead, dead!"

"F*cknut!"

"Sh*t dick. Ya hear me, sh*t dick?"

"Hah! Yer dead!"

 

NOOSE

 

​"Killing makes my dick hard!"

"Nobody's going to your funeral!"

 

Paramedics

 

​"This is why I drink"

 

Pedestrians/NPCs

 

​"You're a boring sh*t!"

"Oh look! A walking pile of sh*t"

"You look like a tranny"

"Film that sh*t!"

​"F*ck me in the ass!"

"We're going to hell!"

"You keeeeding (kidding)!?"

"Go f*ck your momma! In the keyster!"

​"Jay crimity!"

"You thought it was two new puppies. I meant puppies! As in titties!"

Edited by AfroKloud
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Deadman2112

Haven't heard it on the current gen (might be a PS3 only thing) but the one I used to get a real chuckle out of was the old lady who would say...

 

Mmmmm Mmmmm. Baby that car makes me moist.

 

 

I know this isn't necessarily an NPC/random pedestrian thing but one that really makes me laugh now (more of an ironic funny) is when you're about to make a CEO delivery and they say...

 

The buyer wants multiple delivery points to make things simple.

 

I think to myself...

lol, yeah because that makes everything easier :/

 

 

..EDIT..

I just saw that you already posted this man sorry

 

A lot of funny ones, but one line that always makes me laugh (and probably just because of how it is delivered):

"What's my name, b*tch?!"

 

That and the one lady in Blaine County saying "That vehicle makes me moist." :D

Edited by Deadman2112
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EkaSwede

Assballs

 

"Don't f*** with the Ballas, we go out in a blaze!

Me: Certainly *molotov cocktail* Toasty!

 

"I'll kick you ass"

Me: Which is why you pull out our GUN instead of your fists you loser coward ASSBALL!

 

Lost MC

 

"Oh sh*t, they got Charlie!"

Me: Again? Doe sthe MC stand for "Many Charlies"? Lost Many Charlies?

 

"L-O-S-T!"

Me: Good on you, you can spell. Let me spell your death with bullets.

 

Mendozas

 

"Mendoza's hit!"

"Mendoza's been ****ing hit!"

Repeat 100x times.

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IceDree

...

 

"Oh sh*t, they got Charlie!"

Me: Again? Doe sthe MC stand for "Many Charlies"? Lost Many Charlies?

 

...

 

"Mendoza's hit!"

"Mendoza's been ****ing hit!"

Repeat 100x times.

Don't forget about Dre & Chester ;)

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Rafae

The yells and screams from burning NPCs are downright hilarious

 

Sidenote: This thread is fkn comedy gold

Edited by Rafae
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IceDree

Did you guys come across the Merryweather dude who speaks Arabic?

 

I'm curious to hear what he has to say, but I always end up accidentally killing him while he is saying "Al Salam Alaikum"* ....

 

____

*greetings in Arabic.

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