DeniLHell 504 Posted March 5, 2016 Once i was standing on a bridge when some npc car stopped and the driver shouted at me: "JUMP!" 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cipher656 488 Posted March 5, 2016 an npc swore at me and told me to turn my lights on, not mentioning the head on collision with a tree i just had. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
whywontyoulisten 12,665 Posted March 12, 2016 "Mom, I miss my old boobs." 4 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CBas1220 17 Posted March 12, 2016 Pinche Mamamierga!!! 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JON22 3,608 Posted March 12, 2016 Don't know if it's been mentioned, but I find 'sh*t my damn pants' sort of funny. Also when an npc became hostile and called me mother f*cker, once I pulled my gun out he yelled the scared higher pitched mother f*cker before running off. Cracked me up. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ATeaDaze 294 Posted March 12, 2016 Not the funniest but I hear these more than anything: "Hey-hey! My dude, right?" "See you at the knitting circle!" Humane Labs raid:"THEY GOT SANCHEZ!", poor Sanchez always gets whacked. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
joel15cat 9,487 Posted March 13, 2016 The spanish voices: - Pinche mamaverga. - ¡Santa Mercedes! - ¡Santa María! - ¡Ayuda! ¡Me han dao, me han dao! - !Necesitamos ayuda! - Puta madre, piece of sh*t. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
grand theft spaghetti 1,055 Posted March 13, 2016 (edited) 3 years playing ive never heard an npc say this before. homeless group of npc next to soda machine, "do you have change for 114 kittens?" chavvy? is that what you call the baby mamas that play online while neglecting their kids in the background? feed the kids? no, mama needs to use the creator glitch from behind wall breaches to snipe players entering los santos customs. wish i was making that up. poor little conner. i'll never know if he got that bowl of cereal for breakfast at 2:15 in the afternoon. oh but dont you dare mention how they raise their kids. you have no idea what the circumstances of their situation is... lol, i know you're online being a troll while your kid begs for food in the background. Edited March 13, 2016 by grand theft spaghetti 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ArrestedDuringHaircut 1,242 Posted March 13, 2016 One fat lady said something like this yesterday; "Hey it's me. How did you forget,we had sex in your car!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
whywontyoulisten 12,665 Posted March 13, 2016 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HKM87 3,385 Posted March 13, 2016 I heard a hispanic NPC on the phone saying something like this: "I'll prove I'm hetero all over your face mamita!" Mmmmm!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mollipop 1,364 Posted March 13, 2016 A Trump supporting npc called me a "Immigrant Cocksucker". 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dirty Hairy 1,299 Posted March 13, 2016 "sh*tdick! Ya hear me, sh*tdick?" 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rt001 39 Posted March 14, 2016 I punched a paramedic in the face one time, he punched back and said: "I know MMA! Mexican Martial Arts!" 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GR Choke 4,273 Posted March 14, 2016 (edited) "Everytime you get your f*cking period, we f*cking fight." Not heard an NPC say this yet but my boyfriend has once or twice. Wooft that and the chavy skank bird in your sig. I can imagine the burberry monthly nightmare he suffers right now.From now on I'll picture you as Vicky Pollard. Yeah but no. Chavvy.. f*ckin' excuse me? Lol. Def a pure 100% chavtastic skank That gif doesn't help your cause. She looks like the biggest bike on the council estate, with her 5 Benetton kids and all her Argos jewelry on. More STD's than a garage full of modded Sentinels and a fanny like the mersey tunnel. Penicillin, bleach and a wire brush required. Thinks think is pronouced "fink" and counts "Dappy" and "Towie" as inspirational rolemodels and a lifestyle choice. Has a social worker that describes her as "Troubled" and has a criminal record for shop lifting Bicardi breezers from the local shops and is probably banned from the Spar nearest her but still hangs around outside. Kids are called sh*t like Chardonnay and Chelsea and the oldest one is 7 and still hasn't been to school yet. Thinks knock off perfume forgoes the need to shower and could do with some live yoghurt slapped about several bits of her to try and kill that other smell she has Seriously, EEEWWW! Edited March 14, 2016 by GR Choke 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ulrak 137 Posted March 14, 2016 Lol. Really? OK Vicky. Bye bye now. Don't let the door hit you on the arse on your way out. On topic Simeon. That ribald Armenian. Delivered the Balla Schafter to him and he said. "You are like the daughter, I never wanted" and then had a quick check out of my arse. (Oi cheeky! Eye's up here.) Is he the only contact NPC that changes what he says? As fas as I'm aware Gerald and Madrazzo say the same sh*t whether you are female or male. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
whywontyoulisten 12,665 Posted March 14, 2016 Is he the only contact NPC that changes what he says? As fas as I'm aware Gerald and Madrazzo say the same sh*t whether you are female or male. Trevor sends my female character pervy texts after a mission, although he probably does it to the guys as well... 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 14, 2016 A woman I drove too quickly too close to yelled "f*cking hipster trash!" at me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ciel 15,596 Posted March 14, 2016 (edited) Lol. Really? OK Vicky. Bye bye now. Don't let the door hit you on the arse on your way out. On topic Simeon. That ribald Armenian. Delivered the Balla Schafter to him and he said. "You are like the daughter, I never wanted" and then had a quick check out of my arse. (Oi cheeky! Eye's up here.) Is he the only contact NPC that changes what he says? As fas as I'm aware Gerald and Madrazzo say the same sh*t whether you are female or male. Edited March 14, 2016 by Candy Suxxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
whywontyoulisten 12,665 Posted April 13, 2016 "Hel-looooo? I'm trying to get to the roller derby?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hyperar 2,168 Posted April 13, 2016 Pinche Mamamierga!!! It's mama verga or cock sucker Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheFroggmann 3,405 Posted April 13, 2016 "Oooo you DEAD!" Just before I drop his ass into the ocean... 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tonguegirl 4,453 Posted April 13, 2016 (edited) "Hey, you're a boring sh*t". Edited April 13, 2016 by Tonguegirl 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
seven50iL 265 Posted April 13, 2016 "Hey I love your car!" 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Furry_Monkey 20,579 Posted April 13, 2016 "Hey I love your car!" GTA in a nutshell... I have heard what I believe is both sides of a telephone conversation. One was a woman talking to a guy and saying she's going to smell his dick when he gets home (to see if smells like it's been somewhere it shouldn't), and the other was a guy who said something like, "Woman, my dick smells like onions". I'd love to get a recording of both conversations and merge them together so we can hear the whole thing. 7 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarimboHanky 26,781 Posted April 13, 2016 im walking out of a store and i bump into this npc... he goes like "i hope you're hungry 'cause i got a knuckle salad for you" hands down the most memorable 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Horse_With_No_Name 375 Posted April 13, 2016 "Charlie's been hit" "They got Chester" "Probably an idiot liberal" (coming from an old dude in a PRIUS) "sh*tdick, you hear me, sh*tdick!" "I kill for a living!!!" "Killing makes my dick hard." "Sold my puppy for a pound a crack."(guy on phone) "I got Coorkeerrzzz tickets!!!!" "Laaaaadeeedaaaaaa" Best one: getting a money drop from a modder in an ally way $40k a bag. A hobo wakes up from the dumpster walks towards us muttering "got any spare change? "Cheesy Vagina" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Joey McCoy 46 Posted April 13, 2016 "Go f*ck your momma in the keister!" Just the way female NPCs say it. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mirror Park Resident 7,428 Posted April 14, 2016 One day in Grapeseed a fat redneck turned hostile on me. He ran towards me, I showed my gun when he was about to punch me, and then he yelled "TURNATION" while making a 180º turn. Damn I didn't record that Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
guster-von 134 Posted April 14, 2016 "You're my dude right?" 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
