IceDree 22,016 Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 NPC1: Business isn't exactly booming you know. NPC2: Oh please. NPC1: ... NPC2: ... NPC1: I think I'm gonna pick up smoking. NPC2: Oh please. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
VinnyIrish 265 Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 A day like this calls for some haggis! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Stylishmoo280 42 Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 ‘You’re a dick without a dick!’ in the casino heist, a random Texan just screams ‘ASS!’ 2 Link to post Share on other sites
hugh750 3,914 Posted May 5, 2020 Share Posted May 5, 2020 today i was driving an vehicle i got from an npc (an obey 9f), parked near the vinewood police station to look at the player list to look for a random who blew up my buzzard while i sourcing crates. when an npc said "nice set of wheels".🤣 Link to post Share on other sites
Battle Scars 236 Posted May 6, 2020 Share Posted May 6, 2020 LSPD cop: "You're not so smart are you?" Link to post Share on other sites
SqualidCoyote 621 Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 I do have to question the wisdom of some of Los Santos's NPCs. In normal life, if someone flew out of the sky, leapt off their rocket powered missile launcher, wearing nothing but some boxer shorts, a raccoon mask and some gang tattoos, carrying a machine gun, and accidentally barged into you on the pavement, would you call them a dickhead or some other offensive name? And if you did would you expect them to apologise for their clumsiness rather than riddle you with bullets until you were more lead than flesh and then take a snapshot of you on their phone for posterity's sake? Link to post Share on other sites
vicecityrulz 43 Posted July 29, 2020 Share Posted July 29, 2020 "Your girl was pretty f*cked up last night" I almost crashed the first time I heard it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
IceDree 22,016 Posted August 8, 2020 Share Posted August 8, 2020 "I knew she was a skank, man ... I was drunk as hell." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hugh750 3,914 Posted August 8, 2020 Share Posted August 8, 2020 On 12/20/2019 at 10:44 PM, Benny Guy said: "That vehicle (vee-HICK-el) makes me...moist" - random elderly lady that thought my truck was the coolest thing in existence about a week or two ago i also had an elderly lady say to me about my imorgon (that i recently gave it a pearlencent red paintjob with a ragga rum livery, it turned out looking pretty nice). and she also said "that vehicle makes me moist". i think that was in grapeseed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Up2NoGood45 2,439 Posted August 29, 2020 Share Posted August 29, 2020 Hispanic NPC “I want to lick your face all over” Chubby white NPC “whatever” 😂 I ran into an NPC car he says “sh*tty job, sh*tty life. EAT MY ASS!” 😂 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ezmegaz68 237 Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 what in frozen hell was that? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Up2NoGood45 2,439 Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 I’m doing the VIP mission “Plowed”. I hit a Prius and while it’s rolling through the air driver says “Come on people, look at your carbon footprint!” 😂 1 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Senor DeekHead 193 Posted September 1, 2020 Share Posted September 1, 2020 "S H I T C A K E S !" 3 Link to post Share on other sites
hyperar 2,253 Posted September 2, 2020 Share Posted September 2, 2020 Latino screaming "Cara de verga", which translates to "Dick face", but Verga is a latinamerican word for penis 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Scottiedog123 8,280 Posted September 2, 2020 Share Posted September 2, 2020 "Can I have some money?... It's for crack" 😂 Honesty though. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
AirWolf359 4,065 Posted September 3, 2020 Share Posted September 3, 2020 (edited) "Control yourself!" npc yelling after me as I drift through a street corner in my Corvette C8 when I run to my car on the other side of the street and almost hit an npc "excuse me, there is no reason to freak out, ok?" Edited September 3, 2020 by AirWolf359 2 Link to post Share on other sites
suicidal_banana 2,738 Posted September 4, 2020 Share Posted September 4, 2020 Was playing the vault lasers prep near Murrieta Oil Field (bottom-right of the map above the docks) and one of the OP army dudes went "SEMPER DIIIEEEE!!" at the top of his lungs instead of the usual "semper fi!", laughed so hard i actually did die. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Angry Akula 730 Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 (edited) A hooker, after performing a BJ: "have you been eating asparagus?". I have to admit, this one caught me by surprise. 😆 Edited October 4, 2020 by Angry Akula 3 Link to post Share on other sites
El Diablo 702 1,309 Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 1 hour ago, Angry Akula said: A hooker, after performing a BJ: "have you been eating asparagus?". I have to admit, this one caught me by surprise. 😆 After getting a wanted level w/ a hooker in the car she started screaming “I don’t wanna do this anymore” , never heard it before or after. After a slight car accident the npc yelled something about “my lawyer is a Jew”- and then that he’s from liberty city and not to f*ck with him. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Taterman 2,733 Posted October 5, 2020 Share Posted October 5, 2020 8 hours ago, Angry Akula said: A hooker, after performing a BJ: "have you been eating asparagus?". I have to admit, this one caught me by surprise. 😆 For reals? Link to post Share on other sites
suicidal_banana 2,738 Posted November 14, 2020 Share Posted November 14, 2020 Was at the observatory for the vault contents thing, as im following the guard i walk past a group of girls: NPC #1: Hey sugar, hows it hanging? NPC #2: Fineee, im kinda learning that money doesnt grow on trees, unless you're a beaver and wood is your currency i guess. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gnomefromnome 1,304 Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 one proudly claimed "I LOST 2 POUNDS!!" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Up2NoGood45 2,439 Posted November 18, 2020 Share Posted November 18, 2020 NPC Cop “LS f*ckin PD, pull the f*ckin car over”. 😂 2 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Up2NoGood45 2,439 Posted November 19, 2020 Share Posted November 19, 2020 I created a huge traffic pile up and 5 star wanted level on the freeway so cops are getting smashed by speeding cars right and left and just chaos. Cop pulls up and says “looks like I’m working some asshole overtime” first time I ever heard that one! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
hugh750 3,914 Posted November 25, 2020 Share Posted November 25, 2020 this is one i heard today that i don't remember hearing before, i sold a car at the overpass lsc and i called for one of my cars. an impatient npc driver said to me while i was crossing the street to get to my car, (i think it was) "can we move i wanna get high". 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Up2NoGood45 2,439 Posted November 25, 2020 Share Posted November 25, 2020 I think they’ve been adding some new dialogue. I finished a Gerald contact mission and was killing time around his apartment before delivering the coke so I bumped into an NPC and he wants to fight. Says in a Fred Sanford voice “I hoped you packed a lunch bitch!” That’s a new one! 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AgentSapphire 307 Posted November 25, 2020 Share Posted November 25, 2020 (edited) On 10/4/2020 at 3:19 PM, Angry Akula said: A hooker, after performing a BJ: "have you been eating asparagus?". I have to admit, this one caught me by surprise. 😆 I did a quick search on google and I learned why she would say that 🙂. Very innocent. Edited November 25, 2020 by AgentSapphire 1 Link to post Share on other sites
suicidal_banana 2,738 Posted December 4, 2020 Share Posted December 4, 2020 After hopping into a car's passenger seat and punching the female driver out, she went: "Im gonna think of you when i menstruate later!" Alright honey, you do that. 😆 Link to post Share on other sites
Buddy Hightower 809 Posted December 4, 2020 Share Posted December 4, 2020 Random female NPC on phone: "I literally had to f*ck this guy for...." Link to post Share on other sites
Standard Deluxe 59 15,314 Posted December 12, 2020 Share Posted December 12, 2020 Some bumkin on route 68 "You lookin' for sh*t? You just stepped in some." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
