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Tritium

Funniest things NPCs say.

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Red Lynx 23

There is one thing I occasionally hear a female NPC say in public, that I never understood until recently. I forget how long it's been, but I have heard an NPC say "McKenna" out loud. Which is likely a reference to Alex McKenna, who had worked on Red Dead Redemption 2 for seven years. Quite possibly before GTA Online was released.

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Battle Scars

Heard an LSPD cop saying "Eat my nuts"

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Agent 14

That car makes me wet 🤔🤔

 

 

Golddigging female pedestrian?

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NegativeVector

Passing by some prostitutes, one yelled out in a southern drawl, "Handicap parking is over there sugar!"

Probably best cut down I've heard in a while. Normally, an npc says something like that, it's instant

death, but this one, I was like "Good one npc, you get to live!"

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Auditore

Ped 1:I like turtles

Ped 2: I dont give a damn

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kcole4001

Heard this one today:  "I showered, you won't get a UTI"

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Lance Mayhem

Passed an NPC who was driving slowly on Route 68. I wasn't in any hurry, but come on, he was moving at about walking speed. I pulled well into the other lane, with no oncoming traffic (lots of room) and passed at about running speed. 

 

In a stressed-out voice, he said:

 

 

"This isn't happening!"

 

 

 

I had to laugh as I pictured what must have been his white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel, and the tendons in his neck tight as guy-wires on a suspension bridge as he looked straight ahead, terrified to make eye contact with the maniac passing him at breakneck speed.

 

:D

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Starpaul20

I was driving on the pier today and one of the NPCs I missed said "I'm walkin' here", in an accent that sounded just like Dustin Hoffman in Midnight Cowboy. Only the second time I heard it.

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CaptainMarvel
13 hours ago, Lance Mayhem said:

Passed an NPC who was driving slowly on Route 68. I wasn't in any hurry, but come on, he was moving at about walking speed. I pulled well into the other lane, with no oncoming traffic (lots of room) and passed at about running speed. 

 

In a stressed-out voice, he said:

 

 

"This isn't happening!"

 

 

 

I had to laugh as I pictured what must have been his white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel, and the tendons in his neck tight as guy-wires on a suspension bridge as he looked straight ahead, terrified to make eye contact with the maniac passing him at breakneck speed.

 

:D

 

Did you happen to honk at that npc? 

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Lance Mayhem
2 hours ago, CaptainMarvel said:

 

Did you happen to honk at that npc? 

 

Nope, just quietly passed by. No horn, no tire screeching, not even the radio on. Just cruising in my Emperor. 

 

I can see why this NPC lives in Blaine County. He's a bit tightly-wound for life in LS. 

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Battle Scars

Heard either an NPC or LSPD say something about my momma eating lead 

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Up2NoGood45

Funniest one so far😀

 

I’m on a motorcycle and ran into an NPC in a Cavalcade.  He says “If you sue me my Liberty City attorneys will eat your hayseed LS attorneys for lunch!”  Then he goes speeding off and hits at least 3 NPC’s on the sidewalk and yells at them “do you know who I am?  MOVE!l”😂

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Battle Scars

Heard the ammo guy talk about taking a deuce 

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Jimmy Russel
On 6/29/2019 at 10:09 PM, Up2NoGood45 said:

Funniest one so far😀

 

I’m on a motorcycle and ran into an NPC in a Cavalcade.  He says “If you sue me my Liberty City attorneys will eat your hayseed LS attorneys for lunch!”  Then he goes speeding off and hits at least 3 NPC’s on the sidewalk and yells at them “do you know who I am?  MOVE!l”😂

LOL i knew this was what I heard but I wasnt sure if that was really it 😂

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Battle Scars

LSPD cop: "You will stop the vehicle" - not a chance 

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DentureDynamite
Posted (edited)
On 6/29/2019 at 11:31 PM, Battle Scars said:

Heard the ammo guy talk about taking a deuce 

"You almost done? I gotta drop a deuce." (or something like that). He has some newer ones than that too; ran into one last night--wish I could remember it. lol

 

But there's one where he apologizes for the tacos he had for lunch, and the smell you're apparently standing in. "Those tacos were a bad idea..." Must be why Ammu-nation supposedly sells gas masks. lol

 

Was too busy restocking on ammo, so had some brain lag going there. ;)

 

Quote

LSPD cop: "You will stop the vehicle" - not a chance 

"When my armored Kuruma is on top of your dead body I sure will." lol I love creative comebacks for their BS.

Edited by DentureDynamite

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Pizzahut

So I screwed around with single player mods today and made it so English Dave would fight me. I never knew he had some hidden lines for this.

 

One of them were: "Are you a German?"

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IceDree

So the night I picked up the Bentley, 2 NPCs made comments about it

 

NPC 1: Wow! That is a beautiful machine! 

 

NPC 2: You're giving money to other countries, buy American!

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DentureDynamite
Posted (edited)

Heard what sounded like a Russian NPC (woman) talking about the paparazzi getting a snapshot of some famous woman's v****a. (She was walking past the central LSC at the time).

 

Her accent sounded a lot like Marya from Hogan's Heroes (my guess is that it is a nod to Marya, similar to the NPC spoof of Ed Wynn saying, "Goodness gracious!")

 

What's odd is that I thought R* removed these more sensitive references from GTA Online. Early on in the game, one NPC would often say, "Cheesy v****a!" in the Pillbox Hill area, which I always thought was very tacky, even for GTA.

 

It didn't last more than six months or so, as I never heard it again; but now this new reference popped up...

Edited by DentureDynamite

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kcole4001
1 hour ago, DentureDynamite said:

........ Early on in the game, one NPC would often say, "Cheesy v****a!" in the Pillbox Hill area, which I always thought was very tacky, even for GTA.

 

It didn't last more than six months or so, as I never heard it again.

Yeah, that's funny, I used to hear that a lot too.

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ezmegaz68

drive carefully and slowly

 

bloody uninsured mexicans

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Pizzahut
2 hours ago, ezmegaz68 said:

drive carefully and slowly

pretty sure she says "die painfully, and slowly", would also fit better with the pissed off tone in her voice

 

is it me or is there a sound glitch or something when a construction worker says " Hey, Heeey you aaasshole"

Edited by Pizzahut

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Max.pain

i don’t know why but i love the way that random enemy says “you motherf*cking cocksucker!”

Edited by Max.pain

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Taterman

I wish I could have been a voice actor as an npc for GTA. I had to be fun recording some of these.

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El Diablo 702

The 1 that gets me is when you pick up the hooker with the southern accent and starts screaming “help me mama”, “sweet baby Jesus” when she gets freaked out. 

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Standard Deluxe 59

Pedestrian outside casino: "I think I'm gonna pick up smoking"

 

Nearby pedestrian: "Get over yourself"

 

Also outside the casino I heard I guess it was a couple arguing with each other but I can't remember what they said. It was new dialogue though. Unless I just never heard it before.

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mrfonzius

Sometimes there's a couple in the casino store talking about the prices and other things.

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kcole4001
5 hours ago, mrgstrings said:

Sometimes there's a couple in the casino store talking about the prices and other things.

I heard them last night talking about something hidden, in their room or somewhere, he ended with "it doesn't do us any good here, then"

Still don't know what 'it' was.  🙂

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Up2NoGood45

The best is the hookers conversations between each other.  “Why do they all want to blank you in the blank”

 

Another time I heard “I don’t think I can give one more b$$$ job today” 😂

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kcole4001

In the casino, someone who sounds like Cheech: "those clothes hurt my eyes, man"

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