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Tritium

Funniest things NPCs say.

Recommended Posts

whywontyoulisten

"There's something so God-damned beautiful about a toothless hooker, amirite?"

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FlacidJack

I stopped my Dukes on the side of the road the other day and heard the famous "hey! I like your car!" But then some lady at the traffic light said something like "I have seven of those in my garage".

I had never heard that before so I looked over at her and immediately thought "then why the f*ck are you driving a Blista???"

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Skeve613

"Poodles are agents of Satan!"

 

I actually recorded it on the DVR too, so I'll probably put it up online when I have a chance.

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MisFit-138

The prostitutes phone call after completing services is pretty. Apparently my character needs to get himself to a clinic...

Edited by MisFit-138

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TheFroggmann

Okay! I'll just shoot wildly over there! -"Professional"

 

Oh that's not good! -Merryweather Grunt

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RandompedestrianfromLC

"Honey, when you come home,,,, I'm gonna smell your dick". -Some girl talking to her boyfriend in phone, with angry voice.

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DJ Frantz

"Pull over, we need to have a little chat!" - said at 5 stars wanted level.

 

There was a really funny interaction I had once playing as Franklin. After asking how an older woman was doing, she replies with something like:

 

"Fine. The arthritis, incontinence, the sagging tits. What an asshole! I'm lucky to still be breathing!"

Edited by DJ Frantz

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ciel

"When I get home I'm smelling yo dick!"

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Captain_Fluffy

"What do you mean you found questionable content? All I wanted was a RAM upgrade!" Not exactly how it's said I think though.

 

"Hey, your a boring sh*t!"

 

"Scumbag!" Got this when I pulled up in a parking bay next to an NPC. The way its said makes me giggle.

 

Not V related but I always laughed when I heard back in Liberty City stories when the coppers were after you in the chopper...one would say "Shoot him!" The gunner always replied desperately "I'm trying, I'm trying"

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Death Rains From Above

"WHERE YOU GONNA GO NOW?!?!" - NOOSE Trooper

 

"COME ON, MAKE ME PUT YOU DOWN!!" - Other NOOSE Trooper near him

 

"WE GOT YOU!!" - LSPD Officer

 

*RPGs hit their Vehicle "Blockade", killing them all*

 

"WE GOT A COP KILLER!!" - Newly Arrived LSPD officer

 

 

No s**t, Sherlock. lol

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MyUziWeighsATon

Did fleeca on my secondary with a dude in boxers and not much else. As he was leaving the bank after getting the box an npc said "Are all robberies this casual?"

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Datguy8925

"Death embrace yoooouuu!"

 

How rude.

 

Could they not yell at me whilst I'm SEAL Team 6'ing them?

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whywontyoulisten

"Hey tourist, stop being a tool!" - NPC woman.

 

I don't think I've ever heard that one before.

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Datguy8925

"Hey tourist, stop being a tool!" - NPC woman.

 

I don't think I've ever heard that one before.

 

Did you hit her with your hammer shortly after?

Edited by Datguy8925

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CrysisAverted

Chick sarcastically says "nice car"

I was on my Bati

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TheFroggmann

Chick sarcastically says "nice car"

I was on my Bati

 

At least you were in a vehicle. I got one running down the street. Nope no other cars (Right after selling a car) were visible.

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Cameron Star

"Douche" - random girl after I backed up my bike in the street.

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LogoPablo

"Hey nice car, can i have a ride ?"

 

 

Errrrmmmmm..... No?

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OfficialTwiggz

"Mom, this country isn't all that. They love giving their money away to other countries"

 

Something along those lines 😂

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Leo1283476295

"You are dead!"

-Los Santos police officer's last word

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Skeve613

"When you get home, I'm gonna smell your dick, so you best keep it in your pants":

 

 

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DemonicMoustache

"I smoke cause it gives me knowledge"

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PijaPaUnLao34

Not in GTA V but in GTA Vice City Stories some cholos said "vete a chuparle el peson a un chango!" it means "go to suck a monkey nippple"

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The Retaliator

.."dude, I heard that guy has like 4 balls, man"

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Diana McFarland

"Innnnnsanee"

 

when they witness a car wreck

Edited by Diana McFarland

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Harbz

YOU f*ckING sh*t! I always bump into that f*cking sh*t

Edited by HARBUJAHN THE GREATEST

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Nonstopmaximum

NOOSE: Killing makes my dick hard!

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nkjellman

My favorites.

"Hey baby, bend over. Let me see that ass!" ~Random ped in GTA IV

"I'd let you sit on my face" ~Old guy in GTA IV (I don't think this is the exact quote but its something along those lines)

"Can I have some money? Its for crack." ~Homeless ped in GTA V

(fart) "Oh excuse me" ~Indian guy in GTA SA

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Aviator10

Mechanic:

 

You f*cking, f*ckER!!!!

YOU f*ckER, go suck a cock!

Fat f*ck. Liberal asshole!

isn't that a donald trump supporter

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Nick1020

That one npc who calls you a tranny when cutting him off.

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