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Tritium

Funniest things NPCs say.

Recommended Posts

Simply Logic

I think my hearts gonna burst.

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Trix_N

Female NPC saying: That car makes me wet.

 

Thought at first on dirty stuff but they are saying that while its raining and u drive by.

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Dr B1G

Your mother should have swallowed you!

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Pedinhuh

I smoke 'cause it gives me knowledge.

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Doof_Warrior

"MADAFAKA!"

-indian shopkeeper, 2016

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Pressure Drop

Mendoza's been hit... Mendoza's been f*cking hit!

You beat me to it....

I wonder how many Mendoza's have been killed up to now.. dude must have a huge family

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NateAssassin

My favorite was, I was crossing a street and a guy hits me and says "Ohh my god! Are you ok?!"

 

He then rams me again after I get up off the ground, says the exact same thing, and hits me yet again as I get up and it kills me.

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MeisterJazz

NPC-I DONT WANNWA DIE!!!!

 

Me-Lol sticky bomb bitch😁😁😁

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black_iris

The same guy who says "Mendoza's been hit!" makes the funniest sound when he goes "Die! f*ckin' AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

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Spike Deathpunch

Might've misheard but I'm pretty sure I heard an NPC yell "Joe Walsh!" I guess life's been good to him so far.

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hugh750

once while in a survival mode i had an enemy start to say as i shot him "eat my aarghh"! :lol:

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Exilninja

"EAT. MY. DICK."

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Shaytan

"Holy macaroni!" I've heard that only once by some NPC near the masks shop on Vespuci, it's so ridiculous I never forget about it.

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Gatti Sosa

"Let me smell your d*ck"

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Hylskriksen

"I think about picking up smoking"

Something like that.

Edited by Hylskriksen

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Cameron Star

"F*** me in the ass"

 

"You look like a tranny"

 

"Yooouuu aaarrreee miiinnneee!"

 

"You're dead, puta!"

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hyperar

I gotta go take a shower, 'cause i'm seeing a big piece/pile (don't remember) of sh*t

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zecanelao

I had missed the first part of the conversation, but a NPC was saying this on the phone: "... Don't worry, I'll be wearing a condom tonight".

NPC about our cars: "Your car is the sh*t, sooooo hot".

"I need to take a shower because I stinking like a dirty piece of sh*t"

"Puta madre piece of sh*t"

Vagos member: "precisamos de ayuda"(we need help)

"Cabrón"

Redneck: "Do you want to see inside of a propane gas?"

"Don't mess up with a country boy"

Trucker: "Let's roll!"

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FlourescentBlack

While cruising at a pace with traffic a parked car pulls out in front of me and I barley hit it. The occupant is all "Ahh, whiplash"

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No_Future

"I'm gonna sh*t down your neck"

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Death Rains From Above

Random Cop: "IT'S OVER FOR YOU!" *Gets blasted in the face by my Carbine Rifle*

 

Other Random Cop: "YOU'RE GOING DOWNNNNN!!" *Gets crushed by a flying cop car that was blown up by my RPG*

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MagicalBasturd

"Termites took my baby"

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EddyTheRepublicanFury

Hispanic Soldier: Te voy a romper la cara! *Gets his face smashed Bear Jew Style*

NOOSE Member: Killing makes my d*ck hard! *shoots his balls* 'Uhh...that dick, sir?'

U.S Army Soldiers: I'm a f*cking marine!; USA,USA,USA! Don't f*ck with the f*cker! (Press F if you want to pay respects)

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Katemosswithoutmakeup

I love when cops say "Get a job!"

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MrRyanMcCall

I love when cops say "Get a job!"

Every day I feel like R* is trolling me with that one

 

 

OT:

I like it when you beat up Lester in the Fleeca Job and he comes out with things like

"Bully!"

"Jackass!"

"Why I oughta..."

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EarlyLifeFailure

Best one I heard was a female npc on the phone saying something like "yeah I'll meet you down the gloryhole later" "yeah I can't wait for some of that slurpy goodness"

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hugh750

today while driving in one of my pv's. i drive past a npc drive who screams at me (i think it was) "f*ck you!" :lol:

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FlareHazard

Enemies everywhere

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Strask615

I was playing with a friend last week, during the double rp/$$ event for contact missions. In between missions, we went to Ammunation and stocked up on ammo and armor..and bought a couple of weapons. The NPC behind the counter said to both of us "well don't you two make a cute couple". It was just out of the blue, very funny moment. I was playing my second character who is a female and my friend was playing his main male character.

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Felinore

I heard this along time ago when a NPC was talking on his phone with some person.

 

"Sure I'll go to your baby shower!"

 

Like.. 7 seconds later in that call:

 

"Hey, make sure to bring that gay dog."

 

wat

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