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Tritium

Funniest things NPCs say.

Recommended Posts

Dr.Rosenthal
Posted (edited)

I very much dislike the terminator Koreans during I/E steal missions, but I love how the say "Suck my diiuuee" lol

Edited by Dr.Rosenthal

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Verbal Soze

^hahaha and don't forget the triads in gunrunning buggy sell missions "you should go home" and then they stepped on a mine

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Sn00ps06

Sh*t d*ck. Hear me sh*t d*ck!

 

I hear this all the time!

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Dark_Angel_39412

Not an NPC per say but Self Radio "This song reminds me of drug abuse" turns out the song is This is Me from The Greatest Showman

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Battle Scars

Was being chased by the po po and one of them yells "I'm gonna get that idiot" - not heard that before.. Cops sure are dumb, had set up a proxy bmb on a container ship at the docks, dipstick steps on it and screams f**k and dies

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kcole4001

My fave from V is the simple "wwwOwwwwwwwww!!!!"

Always amusing.

 

My all time favorite is from IV, if I remember correctly - when you carjack an older black gent and he says: "I ain't walkin!"

I'd look for their cars to steal just to hear that.

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IceDree
Posted (edited)

"If I don't get a Glory Hole pie in my mouth right now, I'm gonna kick somebody's ass"

 



A lady with a thick Midwestern accent near the Maze Area. She was obsessed with me pie, I was having a dinner break during the mission Blow Up & she was fuming over it on the phone, mentioned it in several phone calls while coming & going.

 

She reminded me of the Rusty Brown's Ring Donuts radio commercial in VC. I lost count on how many times I heard that commercial over the past 16 years (!!!) just to listen to Get Down Saturday Night lol.

 

Edited by IceDree
Added spoiler tags.

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IceDree

One of the Russians in the Salvage Harddrives mission yelled at me "I want to kill you" ... In Arabic.

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Rafae
1 minute ago, IceDree said:

One of the Russians in the Salvage Harddrives mission yelled at me "I want to kill you" ... In Arabic.

lmaooo

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FPU___

Historical one:

 

GTA 3  - "My momma's my sister."

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IceDree
2 hours ago, Rafae said:

lmaooo

What cracked me up is how he said it, he didn't say it in slang or in a dialect, he said it in textbook Arabic lol.

 

"أنا أريد أن أقتلك"

No Arab person speaks that way lol. 😂😂😂😂😂 

 

 

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Big Molio

Probably said this before, but my favourite is the woman on the streets who says

 

"What the. f*ck!"

 

It's just how she says it, the intonation in her voice is funny.

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Juanitoelduro

My favourite is the mexican driver who says "PINCHE MAMAVERGA" when you near miss or crash him.

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Rik96
19 hours ago, Juanitoelduro said:

My favourite is the mexican driver who says "PINCHE MAMAVERGA" when you near miss or crash him.

Theres a girl hanging arround the maze bank office door that always says "Gilipoyas!" If you push her arround.

 

Love the detail;)

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Lance Mayhem

Category: Eww...

 

"I wanna order the General Tzo's chicken with macaroni and cheese."

 

 

*****

 

 

Category: Blind Rage

 

"You f*cking...f*ck!"

 

 

 

*****

 

 

Category: I'm Moving To Nebraska!

 

"I'm not fat; I'm from the Midwest. This is how sexy women *look* in the Midwest."

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FlacidJack

Haven't seen him online in forever but when Hippy Jesus is passenger and we're getting shot by the cops he tells them he forgives them.

It's so priceless!

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Fluffy Sock
Posted (edited)
On 6/26/2018 at 11:18 AM, Rik96 said:

Theres a girl hanging arround the maze bank office door that always says "Gilipoyas!" If you push her arround.

 

Love the detail;)

 

She also says "¡hostias!" and "¡jodo!" when scared. The only ped that has Spanish accent from Spain.

Edited by Fluffy Sock

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TheLordMarvel

I always laugh when one is like 'Hissss!!!!' and 'La de daaa' - I always have to kill it if I hear that.

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Bahama mammas

"I had to f*ck a guy to get that part'

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ddubz91

"killing makes my dick hard!!!" always makes me burst out in laughter, although it's probably been said already.

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FlacidJack
2 hours ago, Bahama mammas said:

"I had to f*ck a guy to get that part'

Lol I love that one her anger seems real :)

BTW i think that phone call is part of a seies of calls, another npc usually gets a rejection call for some part. The quote you made seems to fit nicely as a reply to the person who got rejected.

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Lance Mayhem

Just one time, in Ammu-Nation, the employee chuckled and said:

 

"I killed a dolphin with one of those!"

 

 

I was buying grenades at the time. 

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Lucy_Woooolfe
Posted (edited)

(I contributed earlier, my favorite is still this guy totally freaking out "Oh, f-u-u-u-u-uck! F-u-u-u-ck!")

 

I have just killed an NPC in Freemode, which I usually don't do willingly (unless they started it), so I thought the least I could do is to dedicate a post to his last words.

 

I was just getting out of the water at Procopio Beach, wearing my scuba suit. Fellow forumers will be aware that the female scuba suit is an ill-fitting atrocity, looking two sizes too big (it will be reclassified as a micro-submarine, as soon as R* eventually sees their error, apologize thoroughly, and release the proper wetsuits).

 

The NPC in question was loitering about with other drunken dilly-dalliers around a campfire.

He should have been aware that a woman forced to wear badly fitting clothes is feeling vulnerable.

Thus he shouldn't have said, the very moment I came out of the water:

 

"Gawd-dammit, Babe - that ass looks FAT!"

 

 He had it coming.

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Lucy_Woooolfe

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kcole4001

And his buds would be:

"duuuude, no"

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PiippuLaku

"Why are all the married ones taken?" wew lad

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IceDree

"Son of a Muthaf*ckin Bitch"

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AtmaDarkwolf
Posted (edited)

I think they removed quite a lot of dialog npc's used to say in 'response' to all the... lets call it 'social sensitivities' nowdays.

 

Used to ALWAYS hear dudes (After u cut them off in traffic or do some other random sh*t to piss them off) say 'you look like a tranny'

 

But I NEVER hear that anymore. (Also a lot of other 'insensitive' comments, of which I can't remember exactly, but was a fair bit of homophobic comments and similar stuff)

 

Edit: Possibly related, but i have also noticed a LOT more 'overweight' npc's around.. like a LOT more. I mean a LOOOOOOT more. is that a representation of how cali is now? lol. (Compared to 3-6 years ago?)

 

Edited by AtmaDarkwolf

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chainsoar
27 minutes ago, AtmaDarkwolf said:

I think they removed quite a lot of dialog npc's used to say in 'response' to all the... lets call it 'social sensitivities' nowdays.

 

Used to ALWAYS hear dudes (After u cut them off in traffic or do some other random sh*t to piss them off) say 'you look like a tranny'

 

But I NEVER hear that anymore. (Also a lot of other 'insensitive' comments, of which I can't remember exactly, but was a fair bit of homophobic comments and similar stuff)

 

Edit: Possibly related, but i have also noticed a LOT more 'overweight' npc's around.. like a LOT more. I mean a LOOOOOOT more. is that a representation of how cali is now? lol. (Compared to 3-6 years ago?)

 

You're 100% imagining every bit of that.

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AtmaDarkwolf
2 minutes ago, chainsoar said:

You're 100% imagining every bit of that.

you sure? I mean ive not heard them say that tranny phrase since sometime last year (before i reinstalled gtav)

 

and the fat people bit, im pretty sure that too is on the ball, i remember a few big people when i played before, but not 9 out of every 10 on the street. (That's a bit of an exaggeration, but near the edges of the city u see a lot of large people, and about 50/50 in downtown areas now)

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Up2NoGood45
Posted (edited)

I think GTA NPC cops have policing all figured out.  You commit the slightest infraction and they pull their guns "HATE YOU" and just open up on you.  "Dickhead!"

"I broke my sisters legs!"

Have you guys ever paid attention to the security guards at the mansion in the contact mission where you have to repossess 2 cars for Simeon?  The one where you have to hack the keypad and then get the wanted stars as soon as you take a car?  The guards are hilarious, they use big, sophisticated words.  I can't really remember it right now but it's pretty funny compared to the rest of the cops. 

Edited by Up2NoGood45

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