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Funniest thing you ever cracked?


Dr. John
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We all have those conversations where we hit a punchline and put a laughter in the crowd's mouth. So, share one of those moments with me. I am really bored with made-up jokes. This is not a joke topic; I want to hear out any real jokes you guys pulled out once.

 

Here's mine.

Just to give a brief overview as to what happened. My friend and I were walikng while taking about a very sexy girl in my school who could beat those French girls. Here's how the conversation took place:

 

Friend: So, can you give me the name of that girl with those hot looks?

Me: Her name is ".....". Try to search it in facebook.

Friend: Has she uploaded some photos of her? If the picture looks nice, then I would save it in my phone.

Me: What would you do with the picture? Will you go to a washroom?

(3 seconds later)

Friend: *punches me*

 

I was still grinning for like five minutes. I can't believe I managed to make such a statement at the right time. In the end, my friend didn't really like her sex appeal. But, I did have a good laugh that day. ;lol:

 

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We were talking about the benefits of Stainless Steel, and one of the squad made a comment that it still discoloured.
I said, "It's stain LESS, not stain proof."
For whatever reason they all started laughing.

RoadRunner71 If you find a topic goes against the rules, is in the wrong place, or it offends you, Don't Comment, use the REPORT Feature explaining why the topic/reply needs to be dealt with. If it is a violation the Admin will handle it. don't be a 'backseat' moderator by posting in it.

Edited by lil weasel
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This is what Niko Bellic thinks about this thread...

 

 

Dat video's aspect ratio though...

 

Yes, I know these kinds of threads are not interesting but hey, if you want to post something related to the topic, then do so.

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universetwisters

A buddy of mine told me he'd back me up in a fight, since he's been beaten up many times.

 

I asked him "If you've been beaten up, how's that gonna help me in a fight?"

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EphemeralStar

Me: Knock Knock
Friend: Who's there?
Me: Banana
Friend: Banana who?
Me: Knock Knock
Friend: Who's there?
Me: Banana
Friend: Banana who?
Me: Knock Knock
Friend: Who's there?
Me: Banana
Friend: Banana who?
Me: Knock Knock
Friend: Who's there?
Me: Orange
Friend: Orange who?
Me: *walks away*

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I couldn't pin point a single conversation, but for some reason, my friends are always laughing at the things I say.

 

Usually only when I'm being deadly serious, though.

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So some friends and I were sitting around, watching Act of Valor and the scene comes up where Christo is drilling through this lady's hands. I calmly say, "She was crucified by Christ." My friends stop the movie. There's silence. Then, "What!?" And uncomfortable laughter for a few minutes. I didn't think it was that funny, though.

 

Actually, I'm a candidate for the unfunniest member.

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na89340qv0n34b09q340

A young woman by the name of Jane Robertson, her husband, Troy Robertson, and my uncle and I were all sitting around the dining table drinking coffee. Now, this house we were sitting in, it was about 65 years old, and this would have happened in 2007, so the house would have been built in or around 1942. It was one of those suburban-style homes they built around WWII when people started moving into big cities. Their house was just outside of Bowling Green, Ohio; which, interestingly, is in Wood County, the most accurate bellweather county in a bellweather state for presidential elections. My grandmother lives in Ottawa County just north of Bowling Green, which is the second most accurate county in Ohio. Anyway, Mr. Troy Robertson hands me a spoon that's slightly too large to stir the tea cup I have my coffee in. I like my coffee with a little bit of sugar, and that's quite unfortunate should you have spoons that are too big to stir it. Jane looked up with an enormous groin on her face, teeth showing and all, and she says "My! What a big spoon you have!" I chuckled a little bit, and grinned at Troy. Troy looked like he was trying to hold in the biggest laugh anyone would have ever seen. I let out a guffaw, and Troy let his laugh go, and then he hiccuped. To this peculiar situation, I replied: "My goodness, how windy it must be inside of you!" Then my uncle let out a small, almost inaudible vapor. We must have sat there, laughing ourselves to the grave, for at least half an hour.

Edited by Joe Chip
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THE GHETTO SAMURAI

The funniest thing I've ever cracked up to is the sh*t that happens in America on a daily basis

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Oooo dr johns a dirty ass nigga

 

i bet you hes taken that sexy indian chick to the washroom a bunch of times

 

the rest of yall are unfunny as f*ck

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Oooo dr johns a dirty ass nigga

 

i bet you hes taken that sexy indian chick to the washroom a bunch of times

 

the rest of yall are unfunny as f*ck

Nice to see you too, Greenline. Been a while since I saw someone who was active in late 2011. I really liked your fortune telling. But just for your information, I don't like people who make sarcastic comments but don't post anything useful in other people's topic.

This thread is going to be full of "had to be there" stories.

Don't worry, you can find real humor too. Just like people share their anecdotes in real life, you can also share your funny moments. It just depends on how each members tries to express it here.

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TheGodDamnMaster

I rarely make people laugh. I can only think of one time and it's pretty messed-up. A few days after moving into my dorm this year and befriending my roommates we thought it would be fun to mess with the RA. I suggested that we knock on their door and tell them that "the law requires we inform you that we are registered sex offenders" and they just f*cking lost it.

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Not from me, but in school one of my mates had to hold a presentation about the role of the church in the former GDR (DDR) and how it was oppressed by the state. He told something about a priest, who burned himself out of protest and "to heat up the political debate".

 

The whole class broke out in laughter even the teacher.

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