Mr. House Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 So when I go into a public restroom to take a tinkle, I have a slight issue in that when I whop it out and get ready to piss for England, if a guy comes in and starts doing his business next to me, or even in the same room I have a hard time getting the little bugger to start up, know what I mean? Hell, if there are already people at the urinal forget it, it's not happening. This even happens if I'm attempting to discharge my payload and people are just being a little too loud. Nothing happens. The hanger doors are open, but the package is jammed. What do you guys think it is? I wouldn't say it's shyness. Despite what my post record on here tells you, I'm not an autistic freak and can communicate with humans just fine. Maybe it's the dreaded PENIS ENVY. I mean we're all friends here, I'll be honest. I'm well equipped for the job at hand, I can get it done, but I'm never going to get the name Big Dick Johnson. Partially because my name isn't Johnson. theadmiral, MarshalMoo and BMW1992 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theadmiral Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 I've heard stories about this. Thankfully I don't use urinals so I've never had this problem. Is this a real thing? I've even heard of military guys and prison guys who are used to showering naked together who still can't pee when they are right next to another guy. I don't think it has anything to do with the nakedness. It is probably some psychological thing. I AM SORRY ABOUT THE QUALITY OF THE VIDEO, BUT MY WEBCAM IS ABSOLUTELY RUBBISH. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harley Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 (edited) I was in the toilet of a bar in Bristol a few years ago. On the side of the urinal I was pissing into, there was a very well done sharpie doodle of a nervous Al Pacino and the word "Shy-cock" below it. True story. Edited January 31, 2014 by Harley theadmiral, Tacymist, SCAR. and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theadmiral Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 One time I was in a pub in London and on the stall door, while you were sitting down, was a picture of a spicy looking prawn curry and it said "Vend-a-loo". I thought it was a fantastic play on words. I didn't have any shyness problem there though so its not entirely relevant. I AM SORRY ABOUT THE QUALITY OF THE VIDEO, BUT MY WEBCAM IS ABSOLUTELY RUBBISH. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panz Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 (edited) I envy the girls who proudly march into the bathroom and drop the loudest possible deuce they can muster. So much courage. Girls are generally shy about all of that, too. I had a roommate who couldn't even use a private home bathroom without the sink running full blast because the sound of herself peeing made her uncomfortable. A lot of people wait to go until everyone is gone or even stop going when someone walks in, so I don't think you're alone in this. Personally, I don't really have a problem with all that, public or private. Granted, I don't have to whip anything out next to other people, so it's a different story... But, I mean. Everybody does it. Just remember that, and maybe your little buddy will cooperate next time. Edited January 31, 2014 by Panz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raavi Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 You still pee in urinals, ha get with the times! I always go to the bathroom sitting down, or in the scenario of a public bathroom, hovering over the toilet seat. It is growing in popularity and it is supposedly more healthy. – overeducated wonk who fetishises compromise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theadmiral Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 You still pee in urinals, ha get with the times! I always go to the bathroom sitting down, or in the scenario of a public bathroom, hovering over the toilet seat. It is growing in popularity and it is supposedly more healthy. I understand the idea behind hovering but it can cause other serious issues as well such as the dreaded splashback. I don't think I need to go into detail, all of us regardless of gender have been there. The extra height can kill. I AM SORRY ABOUT THE QUALITY OF THE VIDEO, BUT MY WEBCAM IS ABSOLUTELY RUBBISH. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTA_stu Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 You still pee in urinals, ha get with the times! I always go to the bathroom sitting down, or in the scenario of a public bathroom, hovering over the toilet seat. It is growing in popularity and it is supposedly more healthy. It's a well known fact that men who go into the stalls rather than use the urinal, have small penises or an irregular looking scrotum/set of testicles. Harley, trip and Frank Brown 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panz Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 You still pee in urinals, ha get with the times! I always go to the bathroom sitting down, or in the scenario of a public bathroom, hovering over the toilet seat. It is growing in popularity and it is supposedly more healthy. It's a well known fact that men who go into the stalls rather than use the urinal, have small penises or an irregular looking scrotum/set of testicles. Is that why you do it, eczema balls? admiral: I mean, if you practice your squats, you should be good to go. Hell, you can even practice your squats whilst eliminating waste. Now that's multitasking to a whole new level. TaviColen123 and theadmiral 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theadmiral Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 admiral: I mean, if you practice your squats, you should be good to go. Hell, you can even practice your squats whilst eliminating waste. Now that's multitasking to a whole new level. That's a great point actually Panz. Thank you. While I work out I usually squat against a wall and try to hold out for as long as possible. Maybe if I use the toilet that way I can shorten my exercise routine. I AM SORRY ABOUT THE QUALITY OF THE VIDEO, BUT MY WEBCAM IS ABSOLUTELY RUBBISH. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoadRunner71 Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 The last Saturday I made a small road trip and had this problem two damn times. It might be shyness or that the cold wind from the sea and rain were hitting straight in my penis. I know it's not the best idea to urinate against the wind, but behind me I had a road and I didn't want to mislead any driver, impressed with the size of my penis, and cause an accident. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raavi Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 You still pee in urinals, ha get with the times! I always go to the bathroom sitting down, or in the scenario of a public bathroom, hovering over the toilet seat. It is growing in popularity and it is supposedly more healthy. It's a well known fact that men who go into the stalls rather than use the urinal, have small penises or an irregular looking scrotum/set of testicles. Or unusually large manhoods, that at the right angle could give them an indecent exposure charge. No seriously though, ever since I was a wee lad I've used the bathroom sitting down, it supposedly is more healthy and some say it could even reduce the chance of prostate cancer. @Admiral True. That's why I've mastered the art of covering the toilet seat in tissues and applying it more and more. I will never give in and sit on a seat without covering it up though. theadmiral 1 – overeducated wonk who fetishises compromise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panz Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 (edited) That's a great point actually Panz. Thank you. While I work out I usually squat against a wall and try to hold out for as long as possible. Maybe if I use the toilet that way I can shorten my exercise routine. I can only imagine new toilet "exercise" stations being implemented into gyms. I can't unpicture it. OP: Maybe you do have some sort of shy bladder syndrome. That stuff is usually psychological, so are you sure you don't get any sort of anxiety when other people enter the room? If even for a second you feel anxious, maybe even subconsciously, that can shut down your nervous system, and then you can't urinate, and that makes you even more anxious, thus making the problem worse. I could see how that would be common with guys at urinals, though. There's got to be some anxiousness when you're whipping out a private part of your body and your face is visible along with it. It's like peeing in a cup or sperm donation, too. The doctors don't see you do it, but knowing that someone is going to be handling your stuff is pretty freaky. I have trouble doing that right away sometimes (especially sperm donation...I've never had success with that one yet ). Edited January 31, 2014 by Panz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theadmiral Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 @Admiral True. That's why I've mastered the art of covering the toilet seat in tissues and applying it more and more. I will never give in and sit on a seat without covering it up though. That is not very eco friendly. Then again, i'm a massive cock gobbling cock gobbler who loves to gobble cock so what would I know about being green or eco friendly? I AM SORRY ABOUT THE QUALITY OF THE VIDEO, BUT MY WEBCAM IS ABSOLUTELY RUBBISH. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTA_stu Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 Eczema balls I feel so betrayed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panz Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 Eczema balls I feel so betrayed. Hey, it's all good. It's not like I told them about your various genital infections or anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raavi Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 (edited) That is not very eco friendly. I don't litter, that has to count for something. Right? As for the cockgobbling, you're making The Leviathan weep. Edited January 31, 2014 by Raavi theadmiral 1 – overeducated wonk who fetishises compromise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarelyLegal Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 My best friend has the same problem, he can't pee when there's people nearby. He says he's not necessarily shy, we've known each other for years, he just can't. When he's drunk, though - he can. Sometimes when I need to pee but my body won't let me (e.g. if I'm cold, trying to piss in a bottle, or having just ejaculated), I close my eyes and picture a toilet. I also remember from growing up, that whenever I wet the bed at a young age, I would always dream of a toilet moments before involuntary pissing over myself and the bedsheets. So yeah, do just that. Close your eyes and picture a toilet. If there's people around, try to focus yourself whilst closing your eyes, (in a soft voice) you're at home, nobody is around, you are comfortable in your surroundings, now piss for me baby! I want to see that warm yellow liquid leak from your big, fat cock. Works every time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tacymist Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 For me it's like a psychological thing where I don't know the intentions of these strange people around me who might be plotting against me as I'm trying to pee. Murray Bunyan 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kippers Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 I've never had that problem, but needing to take a dump when you're in a night club. Now that's a toiletry dilemma. Long story short I did it and every drunk lad in there picked up on the sh*t smell immediately. I got the f*ck out of there and to the farthest corner of the club ASAP, and consider it one of the bravest things I've ever done. Tyler 1 習うより慣れろ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tacymist Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 I try to avoid taking dumps if I'm not home, and especially if I'm in a restaurant. I can turn an establishment into an asstablishment at the drop of a deuce, the fall out of which lasts for several minutes. It's really awkward when you're the only one leaving the restroom and you know everyone is looking your way due to the dead silence throughout the place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarshalMoo Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 Talking about what goes on in The Facilities is tricky. I prefer to use sock puppets. Just think positive, no matter your sock-puppet size, every puppet master has to pee! theadmiral 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I cucked Alex Jones Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 MarshalMoo 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clem Fandango Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 That's a great point actually Panz. Thank you. While I work out I usually squat against a wall and try to hold out for as long as possible. Maybe if I use the toilet that way I can shorten my exercise routine. I can only imagine new toilet "exercise" stations being implemented into gyms. I can't unpicture it. OP: Maybe you do have some sort of shy bladder syndrome. That stuff is usually psychological, so are you sure you don't get any sort of anxiety when other people enter the room? If even for a second you feel anxious, maybe even subconsciously, that can shut down your nervous system, and then you can't urinate, and that makes you even more anxious, thus making the problem worse. I could see how that would be common with guys at urinals, though. There's got to be some anxiousness when you're whipping out a private part of your body and your face is visible along with it. It's like peeing in a cup or sperm donation, too. The doctors don't see you do it, but knowing that someone is going to be handling your stuff is pretty freaky. I have trouble doing that right away sometimes (especially sperm donation...I've never had success with that one yet ). tbh Panz, this is a guy thing. You see, unlike you, I can storm into a cubicle and drop a mud monkey, no problem. If somebody walked in on me in the bathroom or saw me naked I probably wouldn't care, and I wouldn't be the slightest bit embarrassed if someone I know saw me pissing against a tree or something. But when I walk over to a urinal, whip Melc Jr. out, perform the necessary muscle movements, nothing happens. It can't be psychosomatic because I don't care if people see me, and further, I've got my whatnot out anyway.... surely someone seeing you urinating is less embarrassing than someone seeing you standing around on the flop for no discernible reason? Hey, it's all good. It's not like I told them about your various genital infections or anything. He's pretty candid about it in the public area as well, if memory serves. That, or he's sent me some strange, uninvited PMs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
na89340qv0n34b09q340 Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 I've always sat to pee so urinals aren't for me. But when I'm in the stall I'm the king of my domain and I couldn't give two sh*ts about what's going on outside of it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harley Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 You still pee in urinals, ha get with the times! I always go to the bathroom sitting down, or in the scenario of a public bathroom, hovering over the toilet seat. It is growing in popularity and it is supposedly more healthy. It's a well known fact that men who go into the stalls rather than use the urinal, have small penises or an irregular looking scrotum/set of testicles. Or unusually large manhoods, that at the right angle could give them an indecent exposure charge. No seriously though, ever since I was a wee lad I've used the bathroom sitting down, it supposedly is more healthy and some say it could even reduce the chance of prostate cancer. I thought you were joking until now. How on earth could it be healthier? BMW1992 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonnyVercetti Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 I used to have this all the time. I just look at the urinal and picture that I'm standing in my bathroom at home looking at my toilet. works everytime! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Dildo Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 I've used the bathroom sitting down, it supposedly is more healthy and some say it could even reduce the chance of prostate cancer. this is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I'm tempted to place your Man Card up for review by the International Board of Manly Men. hornedturtle 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 I remember in 11th grade I had to take a huge sh*t. So I asked the teacher to go to the bathroom and unleashed the monster. The thing is, my school has those automatic-flushing toilets with a sensor on them. This sh*t took me 15 minutes, and every slight move I made would cause the toilet to flush itself. I think it flushed about 20 times. On top of that there was lots of flatulence and noise, so the guy who was skipping class in the rear-corner stall was probably fearful for his life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Brown Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 Or unusually large manhoods, that at the right angle could give them an indecent exposure charge. That's totally why I do it. Totally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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