10 Signs That Your Crew Is Ready For Heists

[LeAristocrat]

10 Signs That Your Crew Is Ready For Heists

In wait of the much anticipated GTA 5 Online Heists DLC pack, players can only sit and twiddle their joysticks. It's probably the one thing that most, if not all of us, are talking about, thinking about, and in some cases even dreaming about. Yikes! FML.

You've probably had that moment visualizing yourself bursting out of the bank doors, with a duffel bag full of millions, sliding across the car hood Dukes of Hazard style and screeching off in a cloud of tire smoke. Do you know if you're prepared? Here are some signs that your crew just might be ready (or overly ready ) for heists to drop:

• Mic Check 1-2 - All or most of your crew members have mics, working mics.
• I.D. Please - Everyone in your crew is at least level 60, the reported minimum level for heists.
• Outfits? - Your crew has heist outfits already picked out: masks, suit and ties, T-shirts and jeans, or bikini bottoms down to the T.
• Alpha Team Out - Your crew uses unique code names, like "The Penetrator," during missions. We're not going to get into that. Ahh, my crew members.
• Pop Quiz: H₂O? - You guys have perfect chemistry, are coordinated, and play fluidly through difficult team missions like Landing Gear, Docks to Stock II, and Stocks and Scares without a hitch.
• Taco Bomb Runner? - You've designated who's doing what: from pilots and snipers, to gunmen and getaway drivers everything's down packed with backup teams in place.
• Mercenaries For Hire - Your crew is practically a small army with multiple members who own tanks, Buzzards, boats, and the whole nine plus the high end apartments with planning rooms.
• Ballistic Steel For Twenty Please - Your crew has matching fully armored getaway cars complete with tinted windows and crew emblems.
• We're Just Looking - You guys have cased some suspected heist buildings like Pacific Standard Public Depository Bank several times and have practiced escaping from invisible cops (or real cops) and speeding off.
• Rendezvous - You've already selected least three escape routes and hiding locations and you're ready if things go wrong... really wrong!

With at least some of these things on this list checked, your crew should be in good shape to pull of a successful heist. Practice makes perfect and preparation is the key. How many of these have your crew checked off? Which ones are you working on? Share below!

[SALO or The 120 Days Of Sodom]

^{umm.. we've all played single player. we all know how this will play out.}

[CarimboHanky]

no one is ready for heist because no one know how they would be or if they would ever be released...

 

/thread

[jessyaudrina]

didnt read

 

no heists

 

zero wow

 

/thread

[gear999]

Deleted post.

Edited January 11, 2014 by gear999

[Kelvin_00]

This guy has never seen a vagina.

[jessyaudrina]

This guy has never seen a vagina.

 

 

true story

[Mr.Faustin]

/thread

[Jok3s]

What the F**k is this madness?

[Thespaz9]

What about for people like me... The solo robbers.

[Varios Los Aztecas]

OP's new year resolution should be to leave the house atleast once

Edited January 11, 2014 by Varios Los Aztecas

[gear999]

Pretty sure my crew is ready. We don't have anything you said but, meh, we'll be fine. We have so much skill thanks to grinding Coveted.

[GTA-Freak-Vi]

This guy has never seen a vagina.

 

HAHA spilled my drink at this

 

[scrublord]

inb4 Heists are so easy that they're solo-able.

[LeAristocrat]

no one is ready for heist because no one know how they would be or if they would ever be released...

 

/thread

 

Yeah, I feel your pain. I know. We can only speculate. Hope it's soon though.

 

^{umm.. we've all played single player. we all know how this will play out.}

 

Maybe, maybe not in single player you were in control now you have to rely on your team mates haha

 

Pretty sure my crew is ready. We don't have anything you said but, meh, we'll be fine. We have so much skill thanks to grinding Coveted.

 

Yeah, Coveted is a good mission to grind. Have you guys tried Los Santos Connection?

[MilezDawg]

OP hasn't been outside of their house in eight years

Edited January 11, 2014 by MilezDawg

[DeMeNs]

You can see vaginas on www XD

[kali16]

What the F**k is this madness?

This is SPARTA!!!!

[DillBagnr]

1 sign your crew isn't ready for Heists

1. They've all moved on to other games because GTA:Online offered no new content for too long.

[tymaster50]

its not like heists will be complex, if it is anything like single player you can just shoot your way out of it. Which will probably be easy due to like everyone having a minigun and rpg now.

[Hazel Mae]

I have a question. Why do all the suit pants look like they're covered with a thin layer of grease? I mean, the slate pants look purple.

[HoneyBadger ESQ]

10 Signs That You're Not Doing This Right

[LeAristocrat]

its not like heists will be complex, if it is anything like single player you can just shoot your way out of it. Which will probably be easy due to like everyone having a minigun and rpg now.

 

Yeah, and factor in the buzzards and the tanks. Smh, we'll see.

 

I have a question. Why do all the suit pants look like they're covered with a thin layer of grease? I mean, the slate pants look purple.

 

Lmao and the suit jackets look oversized.

[vipprimo]

I think you think you're prepared, but let me tell you how it WILL go down. (all speculation based on current game play).

 

1.) Everyone will have a mic, but because the one dude from Norway is lagging nobody will be able to hear each other. Not to mention some noob will invade who wants to do everything faster than everyone else and will get himself killed 8 times while your guys yell and he has no mic. Everyone rage quits. True story.

 

2.) One guy will be level 60. Everyone else will be maximum 20th level. They won't leave unless you boot them.

 

3.) You'll buy outfits which will glitch out 2 minutes into the Heist either causing you to fail or have 5 star wanted level for 3 in game days.

 

4.) Your well oiled team will go in fully prepared. The lobby will randomly select what each player is doing, so the sniper will end up the driver, the gunner will be the coffee getter, and your leader will somehow spawn on the other team without any ability to switch sides. The original driver will lag out leaving you to walk to the bank or take a taxi because no one will have enough to call a Merryweather chopper.

 

5.) You'll save up all the cash, buy the cars you need complete with logos and the next patch will render them unusable and remove them from your garage where you'll have to start all over.

 

6.) When you actually do get a game dialed in a guy with god mode will swoop in, do everyone's jobs with rocket shooting tax cab and escape leaving you at the door. Money will still get split up evenly and it'll count as a success. You'll all come on GTA Forums and yell about how awesome your crew is and everyone else sucks.

 

The End.

Edited January 11, 2014 by vipprimo

[luisniko]

You're too hyped for it. Don't be like that. Grab some coffee, read some newspaper.

 

Rockstar is totally different than other developers. This is the first time I see a developer promoting some feature in a game through trailer and the content wasn't included in the full product.

 

Latestar.

[tymaster50]

I think you think you're prepared, but let me tell you how it WILL go down. (all speculation based on current game play).

 

1.) Everyone will have a mic, but because the one dude from Norway is lagging nobody will be able to hear each other.

 

 

4.) Your well oiled team will go in fully prepared. The lobby will randomly select what each player is doing, so the sniper will end up the driver, the gunner will be the coffee getter, and your leader will somehow spawn on the other team without any ability to switch sides. The original driver will lag out leaving you to walk to the bank.

 

 

6.) When you actually do get a game dialed in a guy with god mode will swoop in, do everyone's jobs with rocket shooting tax cab and escape leaving you at the door. Money will still get split up evenly and it'll count as a success. You'll all come on GTA Forums and yell about how awesome your crew is and everyone else sucks.

 

The End.

Best parts

[MeGusta90]

Heists are going to be scripted to hell, a set getaway car and you only get $400

 

 

I work at Rockstar

[LeAristocrat]

I think you think you're prepared, but let me tell you how it WILL go down. (all speculation based on current game play).

 

1.) Everyone will have a mic, but because the one dude from Norway is lagging nobody will be able to hear each other.

 

6.) When you actually do get a game dialed in a guy with god mode will swoop in, do everyone's jobs with rocket shooting tax cab and escape leaving you at the door. Money will still get split up evenly and it'll count as a success. You'll all come on GTA Forums and yell about how awesome your crew is and everyone else sucks.

 

The End.

 

#1 made me LOL. One thing about me is you've never seen me make a petty post on this forum.

[Malibu454]

You work at R*?

Cool! Tell them to leave my billions in my acct.

Im having lotsa fun with the extra money and it really improved my gaming experience.

Also if there is any paid DLC in future I'll certainly buy it w/ the money I have now.

[NukedPratorian]

Both my active crews basically disbanded a month ago due to boredom, god mode, and multiple lobbies with cheaters. Heists wont do anything for this game until they fix all that. I was playing today and seeing 5 players over level 300 with no skills maxed in the lobby just pissed me off so I started playing a different game.