North Yankton Discussion

[Empty World]

 

THE ORIGIN OF LUDENDORFF, NY

 

So, Ludendorff was founded in 1945 by five Germans who wanted to strike it big in America after they failed in Germany. However, they couldn't decide on a name, so one poker game and four headshots later, P.V Ludendorff (brother of General Ludendorff) named the town Ludendorff!

 

During the 50's he grew the town up to be a sleepy town on the border of Canada and had a population of 314. This all changed in the summer of '55. Some kid wandering around found gold, told his old man and he started digging. Soon Ludendorff became a modern day gold town, with people even coming to town from Florida. The town's industry grew and took off. P.V Ludendorff even gave a bit of gold to the Canadian town of Pilgrim and in turn they gave the statue of a giant beaver.

 

That was until the 80's. The gold mine soon dried up and everyone soon fled. Hell, even old man Ludendorff died of a heart attack. Soon Ludendorff dried up of human life leaving only 918 people left in it. The only noteworthy places are Pollock Cinema and the Bleeder Burger. The town even couldn't afford it's own police force cutting it loose in 1997 and then having to rely on the North Yankton State Patrol.

 

(I wonder who can spot the two references? PM me them and you get a cookie.)

 

Very nice. I'm still working on mine, which is probably gonna be the worse of them all.

[WildBrick142]

 

Does the NYSP Rancher handle the same as the stock Rancher, or is it any faster?

 

I can imagine it'd handle the same, seeing as it was never intended to be driven, but then again, Rockstar's known for surprises.

Handles exactly like the Rancher you see on the road, but with a cool siren

 

 

; name       mass    drag  boy  centreofmass      COM abs              inertia            transmission                         brakes            steer    wheel-traction                               suspension                                                    damage                       seat             val         mflags      hflags            anim                                    damage flagsPOLICEOLD    2400.0  8.5   85    0.0 0.05 0.0     0.00 0.05 -0.50   1.0 1.0 1.45 0.3 5  0.18  1.0 1.7 1.7 130.0    0.8  0.60 0.6  35.0        1.95 1.75 18.5  0.13 1.7 0.0  0.49  0.8        2.8  1.5  2.8  0.10 -0.10 0.0  0.52 0.0      0.50    0.19 0.20    1.0 1.0 0.8 1.5  65.0 5.0     0.0 0.0 0.0      50000         440010        0                0            AVERAGE            0RANCHERXL    2400.0  8.5   85	0.0 0.05 0.0 	  0.00 0.05 -0.50     1.0 1.0 1.45 0.3 5  0.18  1.0 1.6 1.6 130.0	0.8  0.60 0.6  35.0		1.95 1.75 18.5  0.13 1.7 0.0  0.49  0.8		2.8  1.5  2.8  0.10 -0.10 0.0  0.52 0.0	  0.50	0.19 0.20	1.0 1.0 0.8 1.5  65.0 5.0 	0.0 0.0 0.0 	 50000 		440010		0				0			AVERAGE			0

It's slightly different.

Edited January 2, 2014 by WildBrick142

[universetwisters]

 

THE ORIGIN OF LUDENDORFF, NY

 

So, Ludendorff was founded in 1945 by five Germans who wanted to strike it big in America after they failed in Germany. However, they couldn't decide on a name, so one poker game and four headshots later, P.V Ludendorff (brother of General Ludendorff) named the town Ludendorff!

 

During the 50's he grew the town up to be a sleepy town on the border of Canada and had a population of 314. This all changed in the summer of '55. Some kid wandering around found gold, told his old man and he started digging. Soon Ludendorff became a modern day gold town, with people even coming to town from Florida. The town's industry grew and took off. P.V Ludendorff even gave a bit of gold to the Canadian town of Pilgrim and in turn they gave the statue of a giant beaver.

 

That was until the 80's. The gold mine soon dried up and everyone soon fled. Hell, even old man Ludendorff died of a heart attack. Soon Ludendorff dried up of human life leaving only 918 people left in it. The only noteworthy places are Pollock Cinema and the Bleeder Burger. The town even couldn't afford it's own police force cutting it loose in 1997 and then having to rely on the North Yankton State Patrol.

 

(I wonder who can spot the two references? PM me them and you get a cookie.)

 

Nice, a little competition!

 

It looks quite good, though. I think I spotted the references, but I may be wrong.

[Onett]

 

 

THE ORIGIN OF LUDENDORFF, NY

 

So, Ludendorff was founded in 1945 by five Germans who wanted to strike it big in America after they failed in Germany. However, they couldn't decide on a name, so one poker game and four headshots later, P.V Ludendorff (brother of General Ludendorff) named the town Ludendorff!

 

During the 50's he grew the town up to be a sleepy town on the border of Canada and had a population of 314. This all changed in the summer of '55. Some kid wandering around found gold, told his old man and he started digging. Soon Ludendorff became a modern day gold town, with people even coming to town from Florida. The town's industry grew and took off. P.V Ludendorff even gave a bit of gold to the Canadian town of Pilgrim and in turn they gave the statue of a giant beaver.

 

That was until the 80's. The gold mine soon dried up and everyone soon fled. Hell, even old man Ludendorff died of a heart attack. Soon Ludendorff dried up of human life leaving only 918 people left in it. The only noteworthy places are Pollock Cinema and the Bleeder Burger. The town even couldn't afford it's own police force cutting it loose in 1997 and then having to rely on the North Yankton State Patrol.

 

(I wonder who can spot the two references? PM me them and you get a cookie.)

 

Nice, a little competition!

 

It looks quite good, though. I think I spotted the references, but I may be wrong.

 

What would they be?

[universetwisters]

 

 

 

THE ORIGIN OF LUDENDORFF, NY

 

So, Ludendorff was founded in 1945 by five Germans who wanted to strike it big in America after they failed in Germany. However, they couldn't decide on a name, so one poker game and four headshots later, P.V Ludendorff (brother of General Ludendorff) named the town Ludendorff!

 

During the 50's he grew the town up to be a sleepy town on the border of Canada and had a population of 314. This all changed in the summer of '55. Some kid wandering around found gold, told his old man and he started digging. Soon Ludendorff became a modern day gold town, with people even coming to town from Florida. The town's industry grew and took off. P.V Ludendorff even gave a bit of gold to the Canadian town of Pilgrim and in turn they gave the statue of a giant beaver.

 

That was until the 80's. The gold mine soon dried up and everyone soon fled. Hell, even old man Ludendorff died of a heart attack. Soon Ludendorff dried up of human life leaving only 918 people left in it. The only noteworthy places are Pollock Cinema and the Bleeder Burger. The town even couldn't afford it's own police force cutting it loose in 1997 and then having to rely on the North Yankton State Patrol.

 

(I wonder who can spot the two references? PM me them and you get a cookie.)

 

Nice, a little competition!

 

It looks quite good, though. I think I spotted the references, but I may be wrong.

 

What would they be?

 

Check your inbox

[Camsterguy]

 

 

Does the NYSP Rancher handle the same as the stock Rancher, or is it any faster?

 

I can imagine it'd handle the same, seeing as it was never intended to be driven, but then again, Rockstar's known for surprises.

Handles exactly like the Rancher you see on the road, but with a cool siren

 

 

; name       mass    drag  boy  centreofmass      COM abs              inertia            transmission                         brakes            steer    wheel-traction                               suspension                                                    damage                       seat             val         mflags      hflags            anim                                    damage flagsPOLICEOLD    2400.0  8.5   85    0.0 0.05 0.0     0.00 0.05 -0.50   1.0 1.0 1.45 0.3 5  0.18  1.0 1.7 1.7 130.0    0.8  0.60 0.6  35.0        1.95 1.75 18.5  0.13 1.7 0.0  0.49  0.8        2.8  1.5  2.8  0.10 -0.10 0.0  0.52 0.0      0.50    0.19 0.20    1.0 1.0 0.8 1.5  65.0 5.0     0.0 0.0 0.0      50000         440010        0                0            AVERAGE            0RANCHERXL    2400.0  8.5   85	0.0 0.05 0.0 	  0.00 0.05 -0.50     1.0 1.0 1.45 0.3 5  0.18  1.0 1.6 1.6 130.0	0.8  0.60 0.6  35.0		1.95 1.75 18.5  0.13 1.7 0.0  0.49  0.8		2.8  1.5  2.8  0.10 -0.10 0.0  0.52 0.0	  0.50	0.19 0.20	1.0 1.0 0.8 1.5  65.0 5.0 	0.0 0.0 0.0 	 50000 		440010		0				0			AVERAGE			0

It's slightly different.

 

 

Huh, it didn't seem any different when I was driving it.

 

Did you get this handling.dat from a website or are you a console modder? I was looking for a modder to put up a video with a realistic car damage physics mod

[WildBrick142]

 

 

 

Does the NYSP Rancher handle the same as the stock Rancher, or is it any faster?

 

I can imagine it'd handle the same, seeing as it was never intended to be driven, but then again, Rockstar's known for surprises.

Handles exactly like the Rancher you see on the road, but with a cool siren

 

; name       mass    drag  boy  centreofmass      COM abs              inertia            transmission                         brakes            steer    wheel-traction                               suspension                                                    damage                       seat             val         mflags      hflags            anim                                    damage flagsPOLICEOLD    2400.0  8.5   85    0.0 0.05 0.0     0.00 0.05 -0.50   1.0 1.0 1.45 0.3 5  0.18  1.0 1.7 1.7 130.0    0.8  0.60 0.6  35.0        1.95 1.75 18.5  0.13 1.7 0.0  0.49  0.8        2.8  1.5  2.8  0.10 -0.10 0.0  0.52 0.0      0.50    0.19 0.20    1.0 1.0 0.8 1.5  65.0 5.0     0.0 0.0 0.0      50000         440010        0                0            AVERAGE            0RANCHERXL    2400.0  8.5   85	0.0 0.05 0.0 	  0.00 0.05 -0.50     1.0 1.0 1.45 0.3 5  0.18  1.0 1.6 1.6 130.0	0.8  0.60 0.6  35.0		1.95 1.75 18.5  0.13 1.7 0.0  0.49  0.8		2.8  1.5  2.8  0.10 -0.10 0.0  0.52 0.0	  0.50	0.19 0.20	1.0 1.0 0.8 1.5  65.0 5.0 	0.0 0.0 0.0 	 50000 		440010		0				0			AVERAGE			0

It's slightly different.

 

Huh, it didn't seem any different when I was driving it.

 

Did you get this handling.dat from a website or are you a console modder? I was looking for a modder to put up a video with a realistic car damage physics mod

 

I only dig through the files. I'm not a modder, it's too hard

[Camsterguy]

 

 

 

 

Does the NYSP Rancher handle the same as the stock Rancher, or is it any faster?

 

I can imagine it'd handle the same, seeing as it was never intended to be driven, but then again, Rockstar's known for surprises.

Handles exactly like the Rancher you see on the road, but with a cool siren

 

; name       mass    drag  boy  centreofmass      COM abs              inertia            transmission                         brakes            steer    wheel-traction                               suspension                                                    damage                       seat             val         mflags      hflags            anim                                    damage flagsPOLICEOLD    2400.0  8.5   85    0.0 0.05 0.0     0.00 0.05 -0.50   1.0 1.0 1.45 0.3 5  0.18  1.0 1.7 1.7 130.0    0.8  0.60 0.6  35.0        1.95 1.75 18.5  0.13 1.7 0.0  0.49  0.8        2.8  1.5  2.8  0.10 -0.10 0.0  0.52 0.0      0.50    0.19 0.20    1.0 1.0 0.8 1.5  65.0 5.0     0.0 0.0 0.0      50000         440010        0                0            AVERAGE            0RANCHERXL    2400.0  8.5   85	0.0 0.05 0.0 	  0.00 0.05 -0.50     1.0 1.0 1.45 0.3 5  0.18  1.0 1.6 1.6 130.0	0.8  0.60 0.6  35.0		1.95 1.75 18.5  0.13 1.7 0.0  0.49  0.8		2.8  1.5  2.8  0.10 -0.10 0.0  0.52 0.0	  0.50	0.19 0.20	1.0 1.0 0.8 1.5  65.0 5.0 	0.0 0.0 0.0 	 50000 		440010		0				0			AVERAGE			0

It's slightly different.

 

Huh, it didn't seem any different when I was driving it.

 

Did you get this handling.dat from a website or are you a console modder? I was looking for a modder to put up a video with a realistic car damage physics mod

 

I only dig through the files. I'm not a modder, it's too hard

 

 

Too hard? Got that right. I have to say it seems easier on Xbox though with ISO mods and stuff. On PS3 you need custom firmware and jailbreaking and all that crap .

Looks like we're gonna have to wait for the PC version.

*Checks PC Version Discussion thread*

 

OFF TOPIC TIME:

I found Lester in real life

 

Edited January 2, 2014 by Camsterguy

[universetwisters]

OFF TOPIC TIME:

I found Lester in real life

 

 

Although that's pretty dead-on accurate, let's try keeping things Yankton-releated for the time being, shall we?

[boxmonster]

 

Diner from Ludendorff? It was found in Rolla, North Dakota and the whole town might look a bit like Ludendorff. What do you think?

Click here!

 

The Diner in Ludendorff resembles 50s architecture, but it makes sense as the town was founded in '45. If they do make a NY DLC (not probable), they should set it in late 40s and have it progress into mid 50s. It'd be interesting with R*'s take on the radio stations and cars etc

 

How was it determined that it was established in 1945? There is plenty of Romanesque Revival buildings downtown (one being based on the Fargo Theater) and a Carpenter Gothic church.

[Onett]

 

 

 

 

Diner from Ludendorff? It was found in Rolla, North Dakota and the whole town might look a bit like Ludendorff. What do you think?

Click here!

The Diner in Ludendorff resembles 50s architecture, but it makes sense as the town was founded in '45. If they do make a NY DLC (not probable), they should set it in late 40s and have it progress into mid 50s. It'd be interesting with R*'s take on the radio stations and cars etc

 

How was it determined that it was established in 1945? There is plenty of Romanesque Revival buildings downtown (one being based on the Fargo Theater) and a Carpenter Gothic church.It says on the 'welcome to Ludendorff' sign that it was est. 1945.

 

E: WOOOOOO! Page 73!

Edited January 2, 2014 by Onett

[universetwisters]

 

 

Diner from Ludendorff? It was found in Rolla, North Dakota and the whole town might look a bit like Ludendorff. What do you think?

Click here!

 

The Diner in Ludendorff resembles 50s architecture, but it makes sense as the town was founded in '45. If they do make a NY DLC (not probable), they should set it in late 40s and have it progress into mid 50s. It'd be interesting with R*'s take on the radio stations and cars etc

 

How was it determined that it was established in 1945? There is plenty of Romanesque Revival buildings downtown (one being based on the Fargo Theater) and a Carpenter Gothic church.

 

Maybe it was an unincorporated community pre-1945 and just became a self-governing town in 1945?

[Camsterguy]

 

 

 

Diner from Ludendorff? It was found in Rolla, North Dakota and the whole town might look a bit like Ludendorff. What do you think?

Click here!

 

The Diner in Ludendorff resembles 50s architecture, but it makes sense as the town was founded in '45. If they do make a NY DLC (not probable), they should set it in late 40s and have it progress into mid 50s. It'd be interesting with R*'s take on the radio stations and cars etc

 

How was it determined that it was established in 1945? There is plenty of Romanesque Revival buildings downtown (one being based on the Fargo Theater) and a Carpenter Gothic church.

 

Maybe it was an unincorporated community pre-1945 and just became a self-governing town in 1945?

 

 

I guess. "Established in 1945" means it was officially declared a town possibly

[universetwisters]

 

 

 

 

Diner from Ludendorff? It was found in Rolla, North Dakota and the whole town might look a bit like Ludendorff. What do you think?

Click here!

 

The Diner in Ludendorff resembles 50s architecture, but it makes sense as the town was founded in '45. If they do make a NY DLC (not probable), they should set it in late 40s and have it progress into mid 50s. It'd be interesting with R*'s take on the radio stations and cars etc

 

How was it determined that it was established in 1945? There is plenty of Romanesque Revival buildings downtown (one being based on the Fargo Theater) and a Carpenter Gothic church.

 

Maybe it was an unincorporated community pre-1945 and just became a self-governing town in 1945?

 

 

I guess. "Established in 1945" means it was officially declared a town possibly

 

That could be the meaning. I'm surprised how late it was established though. But then again, I come from the east coast where the majority of towns were founded & established in the 1700's or 1800's. I got some examples, though:

 

*Reston, VA was founded in 1964. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reston,_Virginia

*Johnathan, MN was founded in 1967. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan,_Minnesota

*Partizanske, Slovakia, was founded in 1938. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Partiz%C3%A1nske

[SonofYankton]

Since Ever one is doing a history of Ludendorff, I will do a history of Ludendorff Weekly!

 

Ludendorff Weekly Was first printed in 1980 To Help put out news of random Events that hit the town. Although Ludendorff Weekly was never a official paper Slowly but surly Ludendorff Weekly Become More read ever week. The Former Paper, Ludendorff Daily was out of business in 1988. Nothing Really changed about the paper until 2003, when bobcat Bank and security co Was Robbed By Trevor Phillps and Michel townly and Bradley Sider. Ludendorff Weekly then add the first 2 page paper. Put in 2013 Ludendorff Weekly went though a overhaul final being viewable onlline. But with this change Many Writers Quit. Leaving Only Wildbrick And Raccoon. Though in 2013 they hired a writer, mnmn1234 who was the worst writer this side of Ludendorff river! After Many Months Ludendorff Weekly got a office in Ludendorff, and raised the price. Then It was now.

 

 

i Hope You guys like it. If there is anything i could add/take away let me know!

 

FeedBack is welcome

Edited January 3, 2014 by mnmn1234

[Polish_Trucker]

Since Ever one is doing a history of Ludendorff, I will do a history of Ludendorff Weekly!

 

Ludendorff Weekly Was first printed in 1980 To Help put out news of random Events that hit the town. Although Ludendorff Weekly was never a official paper Slowly but surly Ludendorff Weekly Become More read ever week. The Former Paper, Ludendorff Daily was out of business in 1988. Nothing Really changed about the paper until 2003, when bobcat Bank and security co Was Robbed By Trevor Phillps and Michel townly and Bradley Sider. Ludendorff Weekly then add the first 2 page paper. Put in 2013 Ludendorff Weekly went though a overhaul final being viewable onlline. But with this change Many Writers Quit. Leaving Only Wildbrick And Raccoon. Though in 2013 they hired a writer, mnmn1234 who was the worst writer this side of Ludendorff river! After Many Months Ludendorff Weekly got a office in Ludendorff, and raised the price. Then It was now.

 

 

i Hope You guys like it. If there is anything i could add/take away let me know!

 

FeedBack is welcome

It's good but next time, read the small print

 

[Target13]

Can anyone help with Crew emblem?

http://gtaforums.com/topic/670415-crew-logosvg-dyom-requests/

[Empty World]

Since Ever one is doing a history of Ludendorff, I will do a history of Ludendorff Weekly!

 

Ludendorff Weekly Was first printed in 1980 To Help put out news of random Events that hit the town. Although Ludendorff Weekly was never a official paper Slowly but surly Ludendorff Weekly Become More read ever week. The Former Paper, Ludendorff Daily was out of business in 1988. Nothing Really changed about the paper until 2003, when bobcat Bank and security co Was Robbed By Trevor Phillps and Michel townly and Bradley Sider. Ludendorff Weekly then add the first 2 page paper. Put in 2013 Ludendorff Weekly went though a overhaul final being viewable onlline. But with this change Many Writers Quit. Leaving Only Wildbrick And Raccoon. Though in 2013 they hired a writer, mnmn1234 who was the worst writer this side of Ludendorff river! After Many Months Ludendorff Weekly got a office in Ludendorff, and raised the price. Then It was now.

 

 

i Hope You guys like it. If there is anything i could add/take away let me know!

 

FeedBack is welcome

Very nice. Could've been longer but still very good.

[Onett]

When I was replaying the Prologue a little while ago, I noticed on one of the generators had leet written on it. Another Easter egg? Also I notice that Brad or Michael never shot Alex the guard, he was dead before you got out.

[nicktestbranch]

 

Since Ever one is doing a history of Ludendorff, I will do a history of Ludendorff Weekly!

 

Ludendorff Weekly Was first printed in 1980 To Help put out news of random Events that hit the town. Although Ludendorff Weekly was never a official paper Slowly but surly Ludendorff Weekly Become More read ever week. The Former Paper, Ludendorff Daily was out of business in 1988. Nothing Really changed about the paper until 2003, when bobcat Bank and security co Was Robbed By Trevor Phillps and Michel townly and Bradley Sider. Ludendorff Weekly then add the first 2 page paper. Put in 2013 Ludendorff Weekly went though a overhaul final being viewable onlline. But with this change Many Writers Quit. Leaving Only Wildbrick And Raccoon. Though in 2013 they hired a writer, mnmn1234 who was the worst writer this side of Ludendorff river! After Many Months Ludendorff Weekly got a office in Ludendorff, and raised the price. Then It was now.

 

 

i Hope You guys like it. If there is anything i could add/take away let me know!

 

FeedBack is welcome

Very nice. Could've been longer but still very good.

 

It might also need better use of the capitals and spelling.

[Empty World]

Life of Ludendorff

Once upon the time, far far away. There was a place in the State of North Yankton, isolated from the civilization. The son of Erich Ludendorff, Johaim Ludendorff failed to invade New York and got put in POW camp. In 1944, he has escaped the camp and went west. With no money or food, he was hopeless. He ended up in the middle of North Yankton in a blistering cold. Until he found a little village of hospitable Native Americans, which helped him get back on his feet and provided with a tepee. Of course Johaim couldn't live like this forever, so he had to find a quick way to take control and get back things to normal. Johaim was a brilliant scientist so he went up north looking for natural sources that he could make money on. After crossing a Canadian border, his instincts were telling him that something is here. So he started digging deep, natural gas shoots up and sets him on fire, however he quickly extinguished the fire by laying on the snow. Later he made a deal with Natives to invest in drilling rigs and start selling natural gas.

A year later, village started growing into a little town with money flowing in. Natives were so thankful that they let Johaim rule them and call the town Ludendorff, which successfully claimed town rights. Town started importing more and more workers which later resided with their family in Ludendorff. One day Ludendorff went exploring in the woods where he found an innocent beaver that was hurt. He felt sorry for him and decided to take it home and take care of it, it was the biggest beaver he has ever seen in his life. Beavers were very hard-working and so were the citizens of Ludendorff. Which made Johaim to make it the town's mascot and the home of Mid West's biggest beaver. In the 60's Ludendorff had its economic boom. A lot of business were opened. The Pollock Theater had its best movies that were bringing a lot of tourists just to watch one of their shows. In the 1970's Bill Petty a close friend of Johaim has opened up an elegant Cafe that had the best dinners under the sun and brought the whole town together. In 1980, Ludendorff had hit its peak population. Population of 1,200.

However, Ludendorff's good will wouldn't last forever. In 1989, town went through it's worse times. Their gas factory had an accident in which Johaim Ludendorff died of suffocation. It was shut down and a lot of businesses went bankrupt. Also, the criminal rate has gone up with people like; Phil the Home Thief, Piotr the Pedophile, or Shaynaynay the Car Thief. Everyone forgot about the route 696 which led to Ludendorff and most people were moving out. Although, the town was going downhill. In 2005, Klaus Bismarck, the new mayor of the town has found a way to improve things by trading, but it still hasn't recover to how it was before.

As of today, Ludendorff has a lot lower criminal rate and things are improving. Tourists love to stay in the Banner Hotel for the night when they go skiing in the nearby mountains.

[WildBrick142]

Climbed the booth. These are some great views from up there.

not really.

 

 

And glitched out the map...

Edited January 3, 2014 by WildBrick142

[Camsterguy]

I'm gonna try the NY glitch again on PS3, I'll let you know what happens.

[nicktestbranch]

In the 60's Ludendorff had its economic boom.

In 1980, Ludendorff had hit its peak population. Population of 1,200.

 

However, Ludendorff's good will wouldn't last forever. In 1989, town went through it's worse times.

 

Very nicely written. To give some constructive criticism, however (and if I may), is that you might want to be more lively with the descriptions. Also, you don't always want to start your sentences with "However", "but", "and", "or", or "which". On the second to final sentence I quoted above, you used "however" in the proper way to start a sentence as it would sound weird to end it right after the word "forever". As for using numbers to represent the 1960s, you'll want to spell it as '60s, not 60's. The '60s you mean are not possessive, unless you wanted to say "the 60s' big boom" or something like that.

 

On the final sentence I quoted, you'll want to make it say "In 1989, the town went through its worst times." While I do sound like a complete grammar Nazi, I just want to help you improve upon your writing. I loved what you just wrote and I hope that this can help you for future writings.

[Empty World]

 

In the 60's Ludendorff had its economic boom.

In 1980, Ludendorff had hit its peak population. Population of 1,200.

 

However, Ludendorff's good will wouldn't last forever. In 1989, town went through it's worse times.

 

Very nicely written. To give some constructive criticism, however (and if I may), is that you might want to be more lively with the descriptions. Also, you don't always want to start your sentences with "However", "but", "and", "or", or "which". On the second to final sentence I quoted above, you used "however" in the proper way to start a sentence as it would sound weird to end it right after the word "forever". As for using numbers to represent the 1960s, you'll want to spell it as '60s, not 60's. The '60s you mean are not possessive, unless you wanted to say "the 60s' big boom" or something like that.

 

On the final sentence I quoted, you'll want to make it say "In 1989, the town went through its worst times." While I do sound like a complete grammar Nazi, I just want to help you improve upon your writing. I loved what you just wrote and I hope that this can help you for future writings.

 

Connectives are my biggest weakness in writing. Thanks a lot of the feedback.

Edited January 3, 2014 by Empty World

[universetwisters]

Phil the Home Thief

 

So I pick up entire houses off their foundation and run away with them?

 

Good story, nonetheless. Quite detailed, and I can't wait to see more entries!

[Camsterguy]

I'm gonna try the NY glitch again on PS3, I'll let you know what happens.

 

Nope. Loading picture freezes after I accept the invite. Doing Bury the Hatchet by the way. ):

[nicktestbranch]

 

 

In the 60's Ludendorff had its economic boom.

In 1980, Ludendorff had hit its peak population. Population of 1,200.

 

However, Ludendorff's good will wouldn't last forever. In 1989, town went through it's worse times.

 

Very nicely written. To give some constructive criticism, however (and if I may), is that you might want to be more lively with the descriptions. Also, you don't always want to start your sentences with "However", "but", "and", "or", or "which". On the second to final sentence I quoted above, you used "however" in the proper way to start a sentence as it would sound weird to end it right after the word "forever". As for using numbers to represent the 1960s, you'll want to spell it as '60s, not 60's. The '60s you mean are not possessive, unless you wanted to say "the 60s' big boom" or something like that.

 

On the final sentence I quoted, you'll want to make it say "In 1989, the town went through its worst times." While I do sound like a complete grammar Nazi, I just want to help you improve upon your writing. I loved what you just wrote and I hope that this can help you for future writings.

 

Connectives are my biggest weakness in writing. Thanks a lot of the feedback.

 

I will admit that I have my own faults as well. I'm a screenwriter and one of my biggest problems I try to avoid is the unreal dialogue. Sometimes it sounds very flat or too much like another character.

[Tracy De Santa]

what about South/West/East-Yankton?

[universetwisters]

Out of curiosity, is there a deadline for the "History of Ludendorff" contest?