The Ultimate Male's Guide To Overcoming Cybergeekdom

[The-Ultimate-Male]

The Ultimate Male's Guide To Overcoming Cybergeekdom

 

First and foremost, there is something that you all must come to accept before reading any further. That which you must come to accept is the following:

If you have found your way to this corner of the Internet and you are reading this post, then you are a indeed a CYBERGEEK.

Now, some of you will try to convince yourselves otherwise, but that is expected, since denial is a the most prevalent indicator of the disease that currently afflicts you. Alas, my little keyboard commandos, there is still help for you, as The Ultimate Male is going to provide you a pathway for leaving your pathetic worlds of Cybergeekdom in hopes of rejoining the rest of civilization in what many people like to refer to as reality.

I know, I know. You do not believe that I can help you? You think that there is nothing that can be done to salvage your insignificant virtual existence? Doubt no more, for it is with extreme confidence that I tell you I can change your way of life if you are willing to follow my simple instructions.

 

Just think about it for a moment. What are your plans for overcoming Cybergeekdom? Let me guess. You are waiting for Lester to appear at your front door to take you away from those cruel pedestrians , so you can develop your hidden talents at being at a successful ban robber? Or perhaps you are still playing Call of Duty in hopes of becoming that savvy warmongering elite sniper who leads the anti-terrorist allied forces to international global victory? The chances of those ever happening are, let's just say for argument's sake, ZERO. However, if you pay close attention to my posts in this self-help thread, then you will drastically improve your chances of making the successful transition from Cybergeek to Superfreak in a relatively short period of time.

 

Honesty is the most important factor in making this transition, since it is imperative that you be honest with yourself at all times when following my advice and applying my techniques. To demonstrate my sincerity, I will be honest with you and share a little known secret about myself. The Ultimate Male was once a Cybergeek just like you. Yes, yes, it is true. It is something that I am not proud to admit, but who better to help you lose your geekness than someone who has been in your incredibly out-of-style shoes, right? I will help you learn from your mistakes, but because I have been there myself, I can also help you to avoid making the same mistakes that I did. Together, we can venture out from beyond your monitor and take those first steps back into the real world.

 

 

 

Just a few sidenotes before I end this introductory post:

Ladies: Please stop PMing me so much. I understand that males such as myself do not inhabit these parts very often, but please try to control yourselves. Once I have completed my instruction here, I will be more than happy to respond to all of your flattering PMs. As far as requests for photos of The Ultimate Male, I will be posting before and after pics of myself here shortly to show you that my system does indeed produce unbelievable results. So please just keep your panties on for the time being, as good things will come to those who wait.

 

Male Cybergeeks: At the moment, I am a little to busy to deal with you on an individual case-by-case basis. My recommendation to you is to follow my general instructions as closely as possible. This advice is totally free and an opportunity that you should not pass up. So instead of wasting precious time listening to your Rorke Files trying to learn military jargon or attempting to decipher the ancient mysteries found all across the base of Mount Chilliad in order to uncover that elusive alien jetpack, I recommend you focus 100% on what you will learn here.

 

Male Cybergeeks Pretending To Be Female Cyberbabes/Cyberponies: I will not, I repeat, I will not dress you up like a magical horse, perform any sort of hooves-related goofery or tie you up with the lasso of friendship, and force you to confess your love for me! You really need help, perhaps even more help than I can possibly provide you. So go take a cold shower, put on some normal clothing, stand in front of a mirror and repeat the following one hundred times: "I am not a pony, my name is (your real name here)."

Everyone, I truly look forward to our journey, along with its many trials and tribulations. Coming soon...The Ultimate Male's Guide To Picking-Up Women: How To Answer Every Question Right (Cybergeek Edition). Stay tuned and remember... the power to exorcize Cybergeekness comes from within!

[theadmiral]

Welcome to the forum. If there is anything I can do to make you feel more welcome, please do not hesitate to ask.

[na89340qv0n34b09q340]

A little long for an introduction post, but welcome!

 

There's a stickied topic here in general chat you might like to fill out.

[Smith John]

So can I be considered a non-cybergeek if I was so rebellious and hardcore that I didn't waste internet time on reading your post?

 

Anyway; if the unlikelihood of you not being a secondary account is bona fide, then welcome to this circus.

[Ciaran]

Guys, Its a spambot, Just report it and move on

[Kirsty]

The Ultimate Male is going to provide you a pathway for leaving your pathetic worlds of Cybergeekdom in hopes of rejoining the rest of civilization in what many people like to refer to as reality.

 

What is this tomfoolery?

 

Burn him at the stake! Embrace our Cybergeekdom!!

 

[Ryan]

Perhaps you should heed your own advice on how to overcome Cybergeekdom so you can find something more meaningful to do with your life than repeatedly create new accounts on an internet video game forum just to post spam.