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A Public Service Announcement/Job Opportunity

Jokimoto

By Jokimoto,
in GTA Online

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Jokimoto

Jokimoto

Posted
Posted

Tire of being broke? Can't afford those sweet new rims for you ride? Ammo costs got you down? Don't want to glitch your way to millions?

 

I have a solution for you.

 

For a limited time you can take part in Joki's New and Improved Money Making Bonanza Super Fun Time Event.

 

Earn 9k in little more than the time it takes to make a simple phone call. How, you ask? I'm glad you asked:

 

Add me on PSN, then join me in a super-secret, private session and then.... that's it! That's all you have to do! The rest will be taken care of by me. How, you ask? I'm glad you asked.

 

I'll call up my buddy Lester, and set a 9k bounty on you. Then I'll shoot you in the face. Then I'll share the cash from my last job (shooting you in the face) with you. All of it. 100%. That's 9k for you, in less than probably 30 seconds, just for being shot in the face.

 

Sound to good to be true? It's not! Sound absolutely retarded, like something only a desperate moron would agree to? It is! Is that moron you? Could be.

 

"Joki," you say, "doesn't this actually cost you 1k per face-shooting?" Yes, yes it does, but I get my joy from the simple pleasures in life: making friends, sharing wealth, and shooting those friends between the eyes with an auto-shotty.

 

Remember, this is a limited time offer, and space is likewise limited. Post here if you're interested in earning hundreds of thousands of dollars getting shot in the face for a living.*

 

*Time constraints may restrict you to only being shot in the face for, say, an hour. It's late here and I won't be staying up all night. There's always tomorrow, of course, but this is on a first-idiot-who-comes, first-idiot-repeatedly-shot-in-the-face basis, so ACT NOW!

 

 

 

 

  • ShanksMcShankly
  • Like 1
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BoJack Cognac

BoJack Cognac

Posted
Posted

I would love to do this with you.

Only instead of joining you in a session where you shoot me in the face, can I pull down your pants, and instead of you sharing your money with me, can I stroke your wiener?

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Jokimoto

Jokimoto

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I would love to do this with you.

Only instead of joining you in a session where you shoot me in the face, can I pull down your pants, and instead of you sharing your money with me, can I stroke your wiener?

Please PM offers like this. The public doesn't need to know our dirty secrets. It's bad for business with the fundie types, anyway.

  • ShanksMcShankly
  • Like 1
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myztical78

myztical78

Posted
Posted

I got 84mill dropped on me ages ago, my way of charity is to "hunt down" low level players, make friends with them, tune a car fully without insurance/tracker and give it to them, for keep or resale :) Usally gives them 120k bank depends on car :)

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Jokimoto

Jokimoto

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I got 84mill dropped on me ages ago, my way of charity is to "hunt down" low level players, make friends with them, tune a car fully without insurance/tracker and give it to them, for keep or resale :) Usally gives them 120k bank depends on car :)

Nice, but nowhere near as fun. Kudos for the charity work, though.

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Miss Malevolent

Miss Malevolent

Posted
Posted (edited)

...blah blah blah...

 

"Joki," you say, "doesn't this actually cost you 1k per face-shooting?" Yes, yes it does, but I get my joy from the simple pleasures in life: making friends, sharing wealth, and shooting those friends between the eyes with an auto-shotty, building my K/D ratio up at your expense.

 

...blah blah blah...

 

 

Edited by Miss Malevolent
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ShanksMcShankly

ShanksMcShankly

Posted
Posted

Oh man! That is one funny post bro =) I wish I was on PSN cuz you sound like a barrell of monkeys for sure!

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Jokimoto

Jokimoto

Posted
  • Author
Posted

 

...blah blah blah...

 

"Joki," you say, "doesn't this actually cost you 1k per face-shooting?" Yes, yes it does, but I get my joy from the simple pleasures in life: making friends, sharing wealth, and shooting those friends between the eyes with an auto-shotty, building my K/D ratio up at your expense.

 

...blah blah blah...

 

 

 

You do realize my target audience, as stated quite obviously in the advert, is idiots, right? I mean, you got that, right? Jesus some people have no sense of humor.

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