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Urban Legends
1 hour ago, HamwithCheese said:

Just listened in on a 15 minute convo with a dude on the phone with his girl. They're going through sh*t and just need time, so he says. Something about some other dude, I dunno.


Mute your mics, please.

And here you are to report some third party sh*t? Unbelievable!

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Just logged in and 30 secs later I get an in game txt.


player: modded account for sale

me: Kill yourself

player: Left the session

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So, here we go folks. I used to use GTA as a way to illustrate some roleplay bits, but I wanted to get back to my roots. So I jumped into a couple of lobbies and partcipated in a couple of heists and... There seems to be such a fresh influx of new players who are just starting out and well, being a high level and a veteran in this game it has been good fun. Truly truly good fun, the odd idiot... But overall, fun fun. While playing building a strong rapport with these folks and helping them succeed in the missions/heists which they are on. A majority of them low levels who don't have the OP weaponry and vehicles, so rather than spawn my OP vehicles in play at their level, they deserve have a level of fun while doing the grind ya know what I mean? Too many stories here which highlight the negative side of the community, but look for the pearls folks. Help out the upstarts and newbies, they do appreciate it trust me.

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I decided to fly my Tula for fun... and of course, I see an Oppressor MKII immediately beeline for me, and of course, beep beep beep.

I jump out of the Tula, seeing it explode not too far in the distance from a salvo of god missiles. Of course this guy isn't done yet, he's trying to ram my parachute. I manage to get a lock-on on him, and firing a couple of shots from my AP pistol, I hear the delicious tink noise of a headshot kill, and I see his corpse and MK2 fall out of the sky like a gull with a broken wing.

Bonus points; his MK2 exploded on impact with the ground.

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We Germans have an ol' saying regarding one's inanity.



"Dummheit tut weh."



That means: "Stupidity hurts (to bear / watch / etc.)."



So I was playing one of the new Repo Missions (the one where you have to lift the cars out of the parking spots with a Cargobob), and this Level 147 slowpoke jumped out of the helicopter rather early, so he couldn't get to the car. Fortunately, it was one of the cars, you could lift yourself, without needing someone to drive it further out. So I left the car outside of the porch, on the open road. It took him 2 minutes to even realize that. He then took the car... AND DROVE IT TO THE SOLOMON MOVIE SET, WHERE YOU ARE ABLE TO STEAL ANOTER HELICOPTER.



I asked him whether or not he was stupid, and he told me that 'his' method was faster...


Bildergebnis für bart simpson stare

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Big Molio

You know those moments that you so wish you had recorded? I played stunt race Gauntlet, and as me and two other Deveste Eight drivers make the first big jump, head through the building thing and then up the hill towards the tube, the gold D8 in front of me gets in my way and I accidentally clip him. He bounces off both barriers and ends up vertical, nose down sailing off over the top of both us and the barrier in kind of slow motion, beeping furiously on his horn at the same time.


It was the funniest, funniest moment I've seen in ages. The other guy was killing himself as well.

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a rather short story but one i thought to share anyway


a few months ago i had completed a game of arena war and i was wearing my arena war outfit (blue overalls, shirtless, i know its not the best but its the only thing that looks vaguely rednecky and fits in with arena war and the game itself pretty good, i also wear it when i want to, not just for arena war)


i was parked in my blue and white Rune Cheburek in some street in LS, then i saw another player approach me, i knew what could happen next so i had my finger on mouse button just in-case, he then got in my car and i was like "dude what your doing in my car?" he said "heybic boi" got out and ran off.


was laughing perhaps the most funny thing thats happened to me in gta o

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I had a real bad day in GTA today...


Started out when I went to steal my first IE car… Pursued by cars, I hit everything in my way.. Damage, damage damage.. I got so fed up, I got out of the car, threw a nade under it and walked away...

Then I figured it was time to sell my full coke facility... Postal vans… Finding new session… Tried again.. Postal vans… Finding new session… Retry for 336K... Three sea-planes… I lagged out again… No need for 25ish mins of slow moving planes… 


Then another IE-sale of a car I stored a few days ago.. Luckily succesful, but with delivery damage of 13K... Like I said, not my day… Figured why not steal another one to fill warehouse a lil... Ok, Cargobob-theft… Called in my personal Bob to speed things up... Went in... Landed on an Island nearby, headshotted them. Then hooked it up... Stayed above the boats to gain altitude before Buzzards spawn in. When Buzzards appeared, I had decent alti, but not enough, so I continued until they started firing at me... When they started hitting me, fullthrottle ahead… But Bob started smoking a lil after (damn have they downtweaked personal Bobs? They feel very weak compared to the ones you steal)… So I went for a softlanding somewhere… Dropped the  Reaper down (5K damage). Went in for some explosive sniperkills… ONe shot and I was out of bullets…'WTF, forgot to fill ammo up'... Well, got killed… Respawned and whipped out the ol special carbine and killed first pilot... Killed the second one and the Buzzard spiraled down to the ground… So I started walking towards my Reaper and see the buzzard crash right next to the car… Not destroying it, but the fire spread over to the car and I see its value dwindle down from the fire, followed by the notification it got destroyed… I was like... 'WTF'...


Today was not my day in GTA. Ah well... Let's hope for a better day tomorrow… It was bad today… :-)

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Posted (edited)

the other day after being AFK in a contact mission for god-knows-how-long i spawned into the nightclub to move the techs around, and when i eventually meandered outside i saw there was a Biz Battle in progress in the parking garage right across the alley from my back entrance, with one player inside looking for the Issi.    i jogged around to the street and got my RC car and waited at the bottom of the ramp, since he didn't seem to know he could jump off the roof.    i hit him with the remote detonator, but it didn't destroy the car.     it did make him pause long enough for me to respawn outside and clean his ass up with the Combat MG as he left the exit, though, and all of about 5 seconds later i delivered it to my NC for the win.


i was in session for like a minute.    i think i laughed so hard it shot beer out my nose.


he was a low-level and i'm not, and i didn't wanna deal with him (and i still had seven or eight minutes to kill before my supplies would arrive at the bunker) so i teleported up to my facility up Chumash way, and headed to the nearby Ammunation and clothes store for some shopping i wanted to do--having just read some of the tips on this forum regarding mask/hat glitches.   


i was dicking around in there for a while, not paying attention, when, BOOM BOOM go the explosions on the front door.    dumb ass doesn't even know he coulda walked right in and blasted me in the head while i was trying to find a hat that matched my shirt.    so, i killed him again with the combat MG through the door.    and killed him again on the street moments later.     


right about then, some other higher-level guy popped back on radar right behind me and let me have it--i may have deserved it, i guess, i don't know.    he may have been about to arrive at the BB when i snatched it earlier, i think.     after his first kill, he did the sniper's wiggle dance and killed me again, and i just wasn't in the mood for it, so i summoned the RC car again and hid it in a nearby small bush.      i rubber-banded the controller and enjoyed another beer while i watched them fight each other and then both quit the session, more or less right when i got the call from Agent 14 misinforming me that i was cutting into my profits by buying supplies.


love that RC car.


Edited by KazzMajol

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