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[CrysisAverted]

hot dog do I have a hilarious and annoying story

Go online wanting to do some time trials
Try and try and try
throughout my endeavor there is one group of people arguing with one other person
this started because that one person was killed by the other group of people while transporting some high priority stuff
that other person says "bruh" a lot
basically they hate eachother

at one point I decide to try one of the merryweather tank things that popped up at the construction yard over at Redwoods Lights Track
get there too late, decide Hydra will be fastest way back to time trial
park Hydra and attempt time trials again
get bored, decide to attack the "bruh" dude, he coincidentally is near the other group, never killed anyone in the lobby except for the "bruh" dude
convenient low flying challenge pops up
go to airport and begin winning
some guy from the other group approaches me in his own plane, hes directly competing with me so I shoot him down because why not
he respawns right in front of me and since I was hovering the whole time he shoots my hydra down easily
I jumped out so I wasn't killed
I respawn nearby and kill him
he respawns near me and I kill him again
oh no some other dude from the group came and killed me with his Hydra
I wussed out thinking I would continue to spawn in the middle of the open that is the airport runway but I spawns under cover
still going passive took me out of the low flying challenge
go off radar and grab hydra, gun down the enemy hydra and begin killing people in my vicinity because why not
they probably end up wasting all their homing missiles on me before they go passive
begin to leave when suddenly someone else from that group attacks me with a Savage
suddenly another Hydra
kill the Hydra and the Savage, they spend a bit more of their homing missiles but I bugger off
they all remain in passive until they can grab their Hydra's
then they unpassive behind me, I go offradar and gun them down
they all went passive again and now are going to Zancudo for the superior dog fighting Jet, the Lazer
they place 9k bounty on me
Criminal Damage challenge about to begin
grab enough distance so I can casually destroy traffic
some of them failed to grab the lazer, 1 succeeded but remained in passive until he had a clear shot at me I guess
I go offradar when he catches up to me so I can lose him and continue destroying traffic
I win
find myself surrounded by passive Lazer, some Hydra and some god knows what
Think this is enough and about to go offline, decide to join a heist, end up in heist but the host isn't starting
leave, figure I'll just go in my apartment and chuckle a bit before I finally leave, spawned on apartment I don't own but is right next to tunnels, apparently all the Jets above me think they see me.
They finally realize im underground but it seems some still aren't on the same page and believe I'm still above ground
It hits me, if I get to the time trial I can go passive and write my memoir here
I go off the radar, leave the tunnels and make it to the garage just as time runs out and a Jet flies overhead
now they can't kill me and I can continue my time trials
they are gunning down traffic ahead of me making it a hazard to continue
respawn and lead them up a mountain, respawn and now they f*cked off
start calling me a hacker, modder, cheater, and stuff
get messages from one of the dudes, can't remember but the last one said "dork"
lol
one of them said I had to be a wuss and use tactics to get ahead, I simply replied that I was outnumbered
anyway the group that was fighting with that "bruh" dude reconciled and said how crazy it was suddenly enemies became friends after I started sh*t
I think its bretty cool since I haven't done this sh*t since last gen
one dude keeps saying I'm inviting friends to kill them
I'm not tho
they start killing anyone in the sky
keep telling every new dude to kick me
they make remarks about how flustered they are because they can't kill me
park my ass on the arch of a bridge downtown where only bikes can get up, write this, see a mugger climb half way up and stare at me, he gets iced by a lazer
another mugger gets iced by a jet
I type this up as this is happening, they vote to kick me
the lobby is huge now so their votes mean nothing
they call me a hacker for having a bounty and being passive even though they keep stating I'm by the time trial
they say I'm using their same method of teleporting via mission joining and call me cheap
they say I'm a hacker because I haven't been kicked after they voted in a 19 player lobby
they report me for hacking
I drive off and suprise myself as I drive up the arches at LAX to the very top as I'm being followed, my very first try, I don't think I ever made it to the very top even
they all try, eventually one manages to get up, I respawn and they continue to try to climb up there

pretty fun stuff

 

*edit*

grab sub to try and survive bounty

succeeding in surviving under the sea

I finally get kicked for playing the game legitimately.

erry time

Edited September 28, 2015 by CrysisAverted

[Johnny Alpha]

I was drinking and feeling agressive so I joined a public lobby, I saw a bounty and a tank...COOL!! Time to grab my savage.......then I realized the bounty was on top of the hospital where I spawned my savage. The bounty promptly took my savage and flew away.

 

Hang head in shame > find new session

[Dondara]

Saturday was not awesome. My garages were bugged, I couldn't enter them. I lost my Innovation trying to get into one. w/e, cheap to replace. And it seemed no progress was being saved so screw missions/heists. It was weekend murder spree. I'm not going to write about the cheap and sneaky tactics I use. But they were quite successful. I had this lvl 9 following me around. He saw me shopping and said I was cute. A puppy would make great bait so I said that was a sweet thing to say. I asked him which color bikini looked better LOL. Now fully hooked, I asked him if he had any money, of course not *sigh* I saw a Baller, grabbed it and had him sell it and put $1000 on me. Now they came sniffing around. The one thing you can count on, nobody does stealthy recon, they come straight in, their little chrome kurumas gleaming in the sun. I blew up every one. Even if they got out and got shot, still put a rocket in that crap. Soon all the action moved away from me. I wanted to grab a jet but didn't want to lose my puppy. So i called up an Insurgent and let the pup try his hand at the .50. I bet his K/D rose by .5. I am not much of a racer but I know how to drive these. Stay on big roads, don't stop and don't chase. Kill what you can, let them hide if they wish. We were just about to swap to new Insurgent as this one had taken it's last rocket when the pup says he has to go. It was fun, no lie, so I told him next time we will work and make some money. So I blew him kisses and like that my little puppy was gone.

 

Sunday much of the same. I wasn't feeling up to charming anyone so I killed all the leg humpers that came round. Had some good sniper duels. These guys I respect. They never broke out RPG's, never tried to rush and when they got frustrated, they went passive and moved away. That of course was like 1 out of a 100. But these guys do exist. I am sh*t at sniping jets and i know it. There were 3 in the lobby working together so if you shoot at one, the other 2 are coming at you. Not many things on a rooftop are good cover from that cannon. I went passive till they started ignoring me then I got one good enough with the minigun and another was sloppy avoiding my homing missile and hit a building. The third got me. I respawned near one of the pilots and killed both as he was getting picked up. Why is it not an unwritten rule that if you're in a lobby fighting, everything stops till the jet/heli/tank is destroyed. Now actually tired from all this, make it back to my apt. Crewmates join game up by SS airfield. I send them apt invites to save them the trip. I should have got a screenshot of that "Honey, I'm home" moment. Big MUAK to you sweetie, I know you read this nonsense

 

I like when I gets txts, 'Why?" Always remember, every answer is " " A smile is all they get, a lady doesn't have to explain herself. My most memorable image is my little friend, on top of a 5 story building shooting at cars with his PDW. They are so cute at that level. pewpewpew

[kABUSE]

I already posted this in bitch and moan topic, but it might fit here better

 

 

 

Please forgive me re-post ;_;

[Jehannum]

"Hot Property" starts. This is the event where you have to hold a briefcase for the longest time.

 

A guy's already close to the case, near Lester's warehouse. I have a Buzzard handy and go off-radar. When I arrive he's just getting into his car. I quickly land the heli and kill him with the combat MG.

 

Unfortunately I've seriously damaged the Buzzard by landing too quickly. I know he'll blast it to smithereens with a homing rocket before I get away. Having no vehicle, I run away on foot.

 

He catches up in his car, runs me over and gets out. He pauses, I suspect to show off his glitched police uniform. This gives me enough time to kill him again.

 

I continue running and eventually find a car to jack, a big, slow station wagon. I notice between six and eight blips converging on me. I hop onto the spaghetti freeway, hoping to confuse my pursuers.

 

By chance I see a subway line and head along it, knowing it goes underground. I end up underneath Mirror Park, blips swarming overhead. If you don't know that area it's hard to get out of, especially in a car.

 

One of the smarter blips head away. It's two people in a vehicle. I know they're heading for the tunnel entrance. I place a proximity mine further down the tunnel. A minute later - BOOM! Both dead. They don't try again when they respawn. Still, I place proxies in both directions of the tunnel. I've just got to wait it out.

 

No one else comes. They're all killing each other in Mirror Park. The time runs out and I get the win.

 

A train arrives. I hop on and ride away. A couple of players pursue me but by then it's too late.

Edited September 29, 2015 by Jehannum

[The Gator]

 

 

hot dog do I have a hilarious and annoying story

Go online wanting to do some time trials
Try and try and try
throughout my endeavor there is one group of people arguing with one other person
this started because that one person was killed by the other group of people while transporting some high priority stuff
that other person says "bruh" a lot
basically they hate eachother

at one point I decide to try one of the merryweather tank things that popped up at the construction yard over at Redwoods Lights Track
get there too late, decide Hydra will be fastest way back to time trial
park Hydra and attempt time trials again
get bored, decide to attack the "bruh" dude, he coincidentally is near the other group, never killed anyone in the lobby except for the "bruh" dude
convenient low flying challenge pops up
go to airport and begin winning
some guy from the other group approaches me in his own plane, hes directly competing with me so I shoot him down because why not
he respawns right in front of me and since I was hovering the whole time he shoots my hydra down easily
I jumped out so I wasn't killed
I respawn nearby and kill him
he respawns near me and I kill him again
oh no some other dude from the group came and killed me with his Hydra
I wussed out thinking I would continue to spawn in the middle of the open that is the airport runway but I spawns under cover
still going passive took me out of the low flying challenge
go off radar and grab hydra, gun down the enemy hydra and begin killing people in my vicinity because why not
they probably end up wasting all their homing missiles on me before they go passive
begin to leave when suddenly someone else from that group attacks me with a Savage
suddenly another Hydra
kill the Hydra and the Savage, they spend a bit more of their homing missiles but I bugger off
they all remain in passive until they can grab their Hydra's
then they unpassive behind me, I go offradar and gun them down
they all went passive again and now are going to Zancudo for the superior dog fighting Jet, the Lazer
they place 9k bounty on me
Criminal Damage challenge about to begin
grab enough distance so I can casually destroy traffic
some of them failed to grab the lazer, 1 succeeded but remained in passive until he had a clear shot at me I guess
I go offradar when he catches up to me so I can lose him and continue destroying traffic
I win
find myself surrounded by passive Lazer, some Hydra and some god knows what
Think this is enough and about to go offline, decide to join a heist, end up in heist but the host isn't starting
leave, figure I'll just go in my apartment and chuckle a bit before I finally leave, spawned on apartment I don't own but is right next to tunnels, apparently all the Jets above me think they see me.
They finally realize im underground but it seems some still aren't on the same page and believe I'm still above ground
It hits me, if I get to the time trial I can go passive and write my memoir here
I go off the radar, leave the tunnels and make it to the garage just as time runs out and a Jet flies overhead
now they can't kill me and I can continue my time trials
they are gunning down traffic ahead of me making it a hazard to continue
respawn and lead them up a mountain, respawn and now they f*cked off
start calling me a hacker, modder, cheater, and stuff
get messages from one of the dudes, can't remember but the last one said "dork"
lol
one of them said I had to be a wuss and use tactics to get ahead, I simply replied that I was outnumbered
anyway the group that was fighting with that "bruh" dude reconciled and said how crazy it was suddenly enemies became friends after I started sh*t
I think its bretty cool since I haven't done this sh*t since last gen
one dude keeps saying I'm inviting friends to kill them
I'm not tho
they start killing anyone in the sky
keep telling every new dude to kick me
they make remarks about how flustered they are because they can't kill me
park my ass on the arch of a bridge downtown where only bikes can get up, write this, see a mugger climb half way up and stare at me, he gets iced by a lazer
another mugger gets iced by a jet
I type this up as this is happening, they vote to kick me
the lobby is huge now so their votes mean nothing
they call me a hacker for having a bounty and being passive even though they keep stating I'm by the time trial
they say I'm using their same method of teleporting via mission joining and call me cheap
they say I'm a hacker because I haven't been kicked after they voted in a 19 player lobby
they report me for hacking
I drive off and suprise myself as I drive up the arches at LAX to the very top as I'm being followed, my very first try, I don't think I ever made it to the very top even
they all try, eventually one manages to get up, I respawn and they continue to try to climb up there

pretty fun stuff

 

*edit*

grab sub to try and survive bounty

succeeding in surviving under the sea

I finally get kicked for playing the game legitimately.

erry time

 

 

 

Edited September 30, 2015 by iamcornholio

[REXX]

It was a good match

 

[VanessaMagick]

I got pulled over by a cop earlier and he was really... weird.

 

 

 

 

I'm not entirely sure he was a cop...

[DarkSavageDeathlyCloud]

just had my new archenemy

or maybe its the archenemy for secondary character only(dont know how that stuff works) but its the oposite of my last arch enemy that totaly smoked me 1 vs 1

the stats on this happening are:

-26 times killed by arch enemy

-73 victim kills

 

if it was not for the sudden disconect i wonder how much further i coud have pushed this (after we got passed aproximatly 40 kills by me i was telling him to "give up and give in" just so he woud NOT do that )

 

 

edit: it still talks about 110 times being killed by arch enemy and killing my archenemy 73 times, my gues is that the old arch enemy stat is overwritten by the new one partialy.....realy i beleve my arch enemy that owned me didnt even get killed more then 40 times

Edited September 30, 2015 by goldadderXD

[REXX]

just had my new archenemy

or maybe its the archenemy for secondary character only(dont know how that stuff works) but its the oposite of my last arch enemy that totaly smoked me 1 vs 1

the stats on this happening are:

-26 times killed by arch enemy

-73 victim kills

 

if it was not for the sudden disconect i wonder how much further i coud have pushed this (after we got passed aproximatly 40 kills by me i was telling him to "give up and give in" just so he woud NOT do that )

 

 

edit: it still talks about 110 times being killed by arch enemy and killing my archenemy 73 times, my gues is that the old arch enemy stat is overwritten by the new one partialy.....realy i beleve my arch enemy that owned me didnt even get killed more then 40 times

Reminds me of the relentless low ranks that try to kill you but fail miserably

[Stoakzee]

Came across this guy in free roam who wasn't too happy about me going off radar and sending a mugger on him.

 

He kept telling me and others to "cum get dee hands"

 

 

[CrysisAverted]

Being chased in Brawler by 2 players on 1 bike

End up on the beach and drive into the water tunnel north of the pier

make a swim for it

one of them stays at 1 end while the other goes for me at the end of the tunnel

the one waiting at the end of the tunnel ends up with a 9k bounty on me

I get selected to be The Beast for the first time ever

End up respawning above ground near the exit of the tunnel as Beast

end up killing the dude waiting for me and claiming his bounty

 

Man what are the chances that out of all my attempts to play Beast I get it then, I mean I go off their radar and am placed right behind a dude with a bounty!

 

also was the first time I saw the Beast win, good money. good time.

[LanaSugoi]

 

 

 

i managed to learnt how to " trickshot " with grenade launcher , thanks to my little daniel

 

and trolled someone by making annoying phone calls . he really pissed until he's ragequit . he sent me hatemail and claimed i've been tricked by him

saying that tricking me by ignoring trolls , but i've corrected him by saying " that's more like don't feed the troll than tricking troll "

 

trolling technique credit to : skylight

 

Man the word "trolling" has really f*cking gone downhill...

didn't knew that...... , i heard someone makes comment mentioning your name , seems obessed with you

 

Uh... you want to run that by me one more time?

 

what ? no

[Sky_Light12]

what do you mean ?

 

it wasn't me

 

maybe someone has similar name

 

 

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

 

Ring Ring Ring.......u mad bro ?

Phone FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

[Alvarez]

Had Humane Labs heist today.

 

The pilot guy was a total bro, after killing off the helis, instead of flying a straight line to the finish, he flew low over the highway, so we could blast some more stuff.

[Dondara]

Came across this guy in free roam who wasn't too happy about me going off radar and sending a mugger on him.

 

He kept telling me and others to "cum get dee hands"

 

 

Was that english he was speaking? Or did he have some kind of disability? Picking on the handicapped like that, for shame.

 

Anywho, work has been crazy so I haven't been online when most of my euro friends are so I have been running amuck in FR. Well, maybe not running, more like sauntering. I have read countless threads on what tactics piss people off and have been using them all. The only, and I mean only, thing I haven't done is follow them in passive trying to catch them off guard. I realized that doing what some idiot hates is probably the right thing to do and that being civil, polite and helpful was just viewed as weak. So all that is gone. Level 4 spawn killing? You bet. I sniped him a dozen times before he even moved. Unarmed plane flying around, shot down. More than 3 dots together, attack with jet. Endless muggers, mercs and bounties. They close in on me, I go passive and I walk away. In one session, I had close to 50 unanswered kills just sniping from rooftops. I chatted up players who thought they were flirting then killed them when I got a chance. I went over 500 levels not being this kind of player. I no longer give a f*ck.

Edited October 2, 2015 by Dondara

[Stoakzee]

Was that english he was speaking? Or did he have some kind of disability? Picking on the handicapped like that, for shame.

He was funny to listen to, I think he was trying to role play some gangster in the game

 

Part 2:

 

 

[CrysisAverted]

Go online, hit with low flying inverted challenge, call for my Besra and own the challenge so well, crash at 40,000ft

call for my Hydra, decide to patrol and kill others who may approach my score but no one does, end up flying upside down until the timer runs out and I hit 35k ft

See bounty behind Mt Chilliad, fly there and kill it, see another bounty back in LS, fly there and kill it

No need for flight anymore, fly to ceiling of map and jump out for a nice free fall to Paleto Bay, get there and get ht with Briefcase Drop Freeroam Event

Get another Hydra and fly to the dead drop location, kill a bunch of dudes, lose Jet cuz I wasn't paying attention

Respawn with nice $9.5k sale car in front of me, call for Armored Kuruma and sell the $9.5k car while I wait

Get in Armored Kuruma, pick up dead drop and drop it off for a cool $23k

Guy in Osiris begins chasing me in my Armored Kuruma but I lose him easily

 

Damn do I love it when sh*t goes the way it should

[VanessaMagick]

 

 

I was expecting to completely wreck this guy, but he was far too interested in wrecking himself.

[We Are Ninja]

^ I giggled. When he hit himself with the explosive rounds...

[BadGamerOnline]

This is my Rockstar Editor video The Hit

 

 

[EarlyLifeFailure]

I was in passive mode with my level 14 alt, buying some clothes. Suddenly I hear gunfire nearby so I come out of the clothes store menus to have a look. Well theres a red dot level 200+ shooting the shop up, I come outside and position my player as if I'm staring at him, he continues to shoot at my ghosted player then on to my Vapid Chino which blows up killing him. He respawns around the corner and starts to make his way away from me towards the north side of Rockford Plaza. I Grab a ped car and chase him down, jump out at the last moment and run him over killing him in the process. That kill forces me out of passive so I make my way into the Plaza via the northside slope and hide behind one of the pillars under there. He obviously follows me down and promptly gets a face full from my Special Carbine.

He left shortly after.

So wish I'd recorded the first kill

[Stealthflight]

LOL, Im always a dark red dot above level 200, and I will shoot up every store, barber shop and ammo place when a player is inside.

 

And yes sometimes a low level whups my ass but there are alternate accounts too, like yours were.

 

I wish someone films me, would like to see my adventures in replay , even as loser

Edited October 5, 2015 by Stealthflight

[Im Ricky I Win]

I was really stoned last night and this random dude picked me up and took us up to the dam and we spent like 15 minutes just diving off of the dam, then he took me to all these different spots where you can cliff dive. It was the coolest thing to me at the time haha.

Edited October 8, 2015 by Im Ricky I Win

[Pete4000uk]

I picked up a nice red frogger from the helipad at the bottom of the beach and flew it around south LS. As I did so I came across a passive mode Buzzard. I shortly afterwards got a text from the Buzzard pilot asking if I wanted to swap aircraft, so I landed without reply on a bit of beach by the airport and he duly came and landed next to be whereupon we swapped aircraft.

 

Good times!

[Stealthflight]

I got to play and rank up a brand new player, It was fun joining a series heist at level 1 and doing it perfect. Then being a rank 11 and watching gunner insurgents run from you after you blasted both 120 plus rank players out of it minutes earlier. Not once, but twice.

 

Nothing scarier than rounding a corner to pick on a newbie and you see a rank 11 player with a homing launcher. SWEETNESS ! had a lot of fun.

 

Two days later the new character is rank 25 and has a modded Kuruma and custom license plate.

[BucNazT]

My story doesn't really have to do with anything in game, I just wanted to make it known.

 

I have been out of the GTAO loop for a while, I've just been a very casual player for the last few months because work and life have just been crazy. But I got on before class on monday night and wanted to re-buy myself a Gauntlet. I know its not a very customizable vehicle, but It was the second car I ever owned in GTA Online and I made a huge deal over it when i first got it....I regretted selling it when my garages were full and have I missed it.

 

But the thing was, I bought it and had zero money to customize it. Work being busy is great for my wallet, but not so much for my character's wallet. haha So, I decided, instead of going on a grind, I would buy my first cash card (I know that's a four letter word around here lol) Well, I went with the $1,250,000 one, which I think is the great white shark card, just to pad my funds a bit and not have to worry about grinding every time I hop online. I purchased it on gamestops site because they were giving a bonus $200,000 Tiger Shark card with it (I don't see the promotion being listed at the moment). Well, a couple days go by and I get emailed my promo code for the bonus Tiger Shark card, so I boot up the PS4 and enter it in, the redemption notification comes back as ANOTHER Great White Shark Card! I think Gamestop made a boo-boo and gave me $1,050,000 for free. God I wish that would happen in real life. haha

[TheTruestDetective]

Low rank players are so adorable. I was PvP-ing a couple days ago, red dot and all. I get a txt message from a random level 4 asking me if I want to rob stores with him, I'm rank 326 I thought it was the cutest thing so I picked him up in my insurgent. First try I accidentally pistol whipped him inside the store lmfao.

 

We didn't get to rob any store because there were 2 or 3 jets who kept griefing the whole lobby. I let him drive my hydra which he proceeded to crash in a matter of seconds. We drove around in my Pegasus insurgent for a bit but didn't kill anyone because he kept getting blasted in the face haha.

Edited October 8, 2015 by TheTruestDetective

[PetrolCB]

My story doesn't really have to do with anything in game, I just wanted to make it known.

 

I have been out of the GTAO loop for a while, I've just been a very casual player for the last few months because work and life have just been crazy. But I got on before class on monday night and wanted to re-buy myself a Gauntlet. I know its not a very customizable vehicle, but It was the second car I ever owned in GTA Online and I made a huge deal over it when i first got it....I regretted selling it when my garages were full and have I missed it.

 

But the thing was, I bought it and had zero money to customize it. Work being busy is great for my wallet, but not so much for my character's wallet. haha So, I decided, instead of going on a grind, I would buy my first cash card (I know that's a four letter word around here lol) Well, I went with the $1,250,000 one, which I think is the great white shark card, just to pad my funds a bit and not have to worry about grinding every time I hop online. I purchased it on gamestops site because they were giving a bonus $200,000 Tiger Shark card with it (I don't see the promotion being listed at the moment). Well, a couple days go by and I get emailed my promo code for the bonus Tiger Shark card, so I boot up the PS4 and enter it in, the redemption notification comes back as ANOTHER Great White Shark Card! I think Gamestop made a boo-boo and gave me $1,050,000 for free. God I wish that would happen in real life. haha

 

Not trying to sound like a dick, honestly, but why buy a Gauntlet when you can just steal one?

Edited October 8, 2015 by MapRef41N93W

[Gordanovich]

I recovered an impounded vehicle this evening, and to escape the cops I drove along the railway line and down into the tunnel towards the diagonal bridge across the river.

 

I got chased by a cop, not in a cop car, but in a black Bollokan Prairie. It had the copper dot on the radar, and I stopped just to see, and sure enough a cop got out and started shooting at me.

 

I'm assuming it was a glitch, as I'm not aware of the rozzers ever commandeering a civilian vehicle for a pursuit. Not when they can infinitely spawn new cop cars literally anywhere on the map.