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[Adrian_AFTB]

Whenever I try to say hello to people and salute them they always shoot at me. Why? All I want is a hug, or a virtual high-five. I was on the Xbox One not long ago and I approached someone who I thought to be friendly. I was walking toward them already saluting, so it was clear I had no weapon in my hand. They see me, throw a sticky bomb at me, jump in their Armoured Karuma and drive away. Do I smell or something?

[_Pythonomorpha_]

Don't you just love parkour deathmatches?

 

 

The best part is that none of the other people quit even after I got the weapons.

[Jammsbro]

I don't really like DM's. They are really random unless you have two teams from two crews and both are fairly well balanced and know the current map. But I do play at least one a day to keep my hand in.

 

So I'm in a 3 on 3 DM, my side is three randoms and the others are a crew. It starts and within seconds one of my team bails. It becomes clear that the other is not going to be a great help. He starts to get killed quickly. After five straight deaths he quits.

 

The target is 20min/40kills and I'm already down 6-1. The other team are pretty good and sticking close together so they are covering each other well. After a few more minutes of frantic play and constantly calling Lester I manage to claw it back to 13-13. I then get in front. And right after that they suddenly become very tough to kill. I got a near point blank shotgun fire into on of their heads. Didn't even move his health bar. Shot him PB with the shotty twice more and nothing. Got killed by his team mate.

 

Then the game turns into a show of me getting the drop on one of them only to have my guns do almost no damage at all before another one comes up and shoots me while I'm trying to kill his friend.

 

That's how the next five minutes went until I messaged the guy and told him what was happening. I left the area and let the clock run out.

 

I have no idea what was going on but they seemed to be able to take any damage I threw at them and I was dying in one or two shots.

[Xenome13]

Yesterday I was just chilling out in my apartment when I got the feeling that I was being watched. So I go to my garage and grab my 9F. As I'm driving out, some asshole shotguns me in the face before I drive off. So, I go off the radar and track him down. I pull up to the nearby ammunition to resupply when I see him in his armored Kuruma thinking he's invincible. I proceed to shoot him through the window and drive off, all the while not realizing I was being followed...

[JaegerPilot1]

Yesterday I was just chilling out in my apartment when I got the feeling that I was being watched. So I go to my garage and grab my 9F. As I'm driving out, some asshole shotguns me in the face before I drive off. So, I go off the radar and track him down. I pull up to the nearby ammunition to resupply when I see him in his armored Kuruma thinking he's invincible. I proceed to shoot him through the window and drive off, all the while not realizing I was being followed...

Don't you just love those players that take cheap shots like that? I look on my minimap before pulling out of my garage to make sure no one is around.

[Shadowfennekin]

Almost had a close call in PB Finale. A cop car spawned out of nowhere as I was pulling off the runway and it got stuck under me. I tried to move but couldn't get loose. Luckily Demo blew it up and we didn't have a scratch/ I managed to take off after that and we finished. Man that was a close call

[Hermes!!]

Decided to try out one of those *vehicle* VS *weapon* LTS. This one was a "Kuruma VS Minigun".

The job consisted of a lazily done floating container platform, sprinkled with miniguns on top. To the sides of the floating masterpiece were ramps that were obviously done in a couple of minutes because the Kuruma's wheels would sometimes clip them and cause you to lose some speed. Oh, but I only got to use a Kuruma once. It wasn't a Kuruma VS Minigun kind of job but more of a "Sniper VS RPG" kind of job.

 

Cannot understand why they are so popular.

[ManassaxMauler]

Was doing a race and got really cocky. In my experience, I can catch or overtake any driver 95% of the time in the sports category, whether slipstream and catchup are active or not. I put more money into my sports cars, whereas most go for the supers.

 

Anyway, I was doing this race, screwing around for the first few laps. When the last lap came, I put my foot down and blew past the pack, chasing down the leader. This guy had been an aggressive driver all race,ramming everyone near him (my usual tactic is to let them come up behind me and then slam on the breaks, they generally back off when I do that).

 

So I had a decision to make. As I was passing him going into the final turn, I thought to myself "it's not enough that I will win, I want him to truly lose" so I slammed into his door. My angle wasn't right, I completely spun out, he made a very nice recovery. He finished second, I finished dead last. Deserved it.

 

The worst part was the guy that beat us was driving a stock Jester.

Edited May 10, 2015 by ManassaxMauler

[JaegerPilot1]

I had an interesting one tonight. I noticed a bounty out near the airport, so I go the way that goes by Vespucci Helipad. I noticed the bounty taking an odd path so I thought it could be a helicopter or a plane. Then I see an Insurgent coming at me at full speed. He runs me over and kills me.

 

I respawn on the other side of the freeway from the Helipad. I saw on the miniradar that the bounty headed to the helipad, so I ran across to the other side of the freeway where I saw the bounty taking off in a helicopter. The bounty was coming my way so I aimed my homing launcher and fired. Kablooma

 

I got killed by another player. I ended up respawning in Franklin's neighborhood so I hid while calling my mechanic. The now ex-bounty in their Insurgent found me and killed me. I respawned and their was the Insurgent again. The last time I respawned I respawned next to a parking garage. I got into the stairwell and waited.

 

The Insurgent ends up leaving and I am able to get my mechanic to bring my car. Then I get a message from the Insurgent owner that said "little bitch better run". Funny, the little bitch was actually the one hiding in the armored Insurgent and wouldn't get out of it because they knew they could die.

 

[Shadowfennekin]

That moment when you meet a level 950 in Heists and unsure if he's legit or not, red dot made me suspicious. He did get killed in FR so I sent a Mugger after him to see what happens, got 10 k from it. Take off and he somehow RPGs me despite me being a few blocks down and a couple corners down, with traffic behind me.

[cdjen93]

Had a strange experience today, just finished a heist finale, jumped into another setup, but the leader left. My screen was frozen in his setup room but I heard the door slam from when you leave their apartment, plus my minimap still worked. So I ran towards my PV icon, pressed 'enter', managed to get in. Was my Insurgent, so I knew I could slam through just about anything. Slowly started making my way to my apartment, doing my best to stay on the right side… sort of. Surprisingly I only hit two cars and two walls. Drove into my garage icon, heard the garage door open, my PV door slam, the notification about how to exit the garage, and my screen finally updated. Thank goodness it was a small session.

 

I know, not exciting, but driving blind isn't an easy task, nor does it happen too often.

Edited May 10, 2015 by cdjen93

[Adrian_AFTB]

This is a story from my travels in Los Santos on the Xbox One. I accepted an invite to Gassed Up. There were four of us and we were all similar in rank. As soon as the mission loads the Host jumps into his Armoured Karuma and speeds away; I wasn't too far behind as I was on my bike, so we both arrive within seconds of each other. He's busy spraying bullets around like they are water and eventually hits the guy carrying the coke. I am about to pick it up when he deliberately runs me over and positions his car in such a way that he can pick it up as soon as he steps out. I was still lying on the ground when he got out and picked up the drugs. I eventually get up and he deliberately runs me over again on his way out. I hate people who send invites to people and wait for them to join, only to effectively do the entire mission without their team. Why invite people if you're gonna do that?! I know you still get RP and cash even if you don't do anything, but that's not why I accept missions. It takes the fun out of it. For me, anyway.

[Shadowfennekin]

Wow. Somebody got all offended I left the setup lobby. "I was going to kick you anyways" lol yeah right

 

 

Also, in PS Signal, I used a Police Boat as a ramp for my Seshark. Never knew that was possible

[Jammsbro]

It seems that the chaps I just did a contact mission with are not concerned with trying to wreck the mission, nor are they concerned about speaking so loud that you'd swear they were shouting in your ear, and they don't seem to think that playing the tv in the background at full volume will be annoying to other players.

 

Still not sure how I could even hear them with the chat off.

[Shadowfennekin]

I was in my Savage in LS Connections and a player would NOT stop firing RPGs up at me. I sighed and parked it in the middle of everyone else's cars and got out. BOOM! He blew them all up with my helicopter he wanted to blow up so much.

[HEX1GON]

Originally was going to make a thread about this but anyway...

 

Wow, wow, wow, what a night it was for GTA Online. I copped nothing but trash talk and couples of random crews ganging up on me. This has all happened, before and I'm sure it's happened to many of us.

 

The usual trash talk I get when two players from a random crew target me; mainly it was one just defending another member, which I was originally mocking what he said. So in the safety of his armoured Kuruma, randomly shot me in my hearse. So I grabbed my Kuruma, and he instantly went to passive mode. Only two members of the crew were left. Long story short, I evened the score and was 3 kills each. I was done with them and went passive. They got bored and left. Keep in mind I have not left the same free roam lobby yet and I'm still in passive mode from before, and in another car.

 

Another crew or possibly just friends joins, and usually when I see a bunch of blips on the map, I drive past to see what's going on. I stop my car, I get out and this girl on mic started trash talking about my character (she thought I was actually another female playing lol). Calling me a skank and ugly etc etc I didn't even say or do anything at this point, basically she's being a mic warrior and being abusive. So I thought, instead of typing in defense, which really isn't worth it in a public lobby at all. Or grabbing my mic and telling her to f*ck off and not be rude. I have the Do (Hi) horn in my sport car. I suppose you see where this is going now - I just locked my horn button on, and stayed in front of her character constantly leaving the horn going. She said she's going in her appartment.

 

So attempted to block me, and kick me from the lobby lol. That won't stop my powers of the horn

 

I usually have a lot of time on my hands at night, so I just waited for her to come out, so I did it again. She got mad and left. Making such comments for no apparent reason, although they maybe empty can cause people discomfort. Maybe I'm just a polite player, and yes its fine to trash talk, but outright abuse is completely different.

 

Just to be clear, I wouldn't go out of my way to make other player's time horrible online, I know R* encourage this type of behaviour but there's funny ways to deal with it. So far it seems being a dick to people minding their own business was a very, very common thing tonight. Since this has most likely happened to all of us, being a target for minding our own business (yes, even in passive without attack beforehand) what's your way of dealing with it?

[idonknowhow]

Went to free mode after racing, my PV wasn't there, so open interaction menu and request PV, delivery but no show.

 

Until then I found no PV icon on map, called mechanic instead, he replied "no can do"

 

I further inspected information I could get, I was not in any session, no session showed.

 

Got my way to garage, drove car out, still no icon on map, and could not go to LSC. Blowed it up with myself got killed, no PV destroyed notice, and MMI removed from phone contact.

 

Walked in blue light to trigger job, can not connect to server, and finally pushed me back to public session, ended an hour's journey in no mans land.

[Alvarez]

Played Prison Break with randoms.

 

Everyone has 15%. Player X asks the host for 20%, gets ignored. Another random, Player Y, high-level, tells the host to give Player X 5 percent from his share, so the host don't need to give money from his 55 percent.

Gets ignored, too. Everyone rolls with 15%.

 

So Player Y gets a pilot role, gets in the Velum, tells how he like the plane, decides to keep it, and flying off to Vice City.

 

Last thing he texts "a lot of cocaine awaits me" before failing the heist and leaving the lobby.

[Giantsgiants]

I had just sold an Oracle to LSC to make some quick money. I was about to drive back to my apartment to start a heist, but I see an apartment invite at the bottom. I accept it and teleport to the guy's apartment. Me being into cars, I wanted to see what kind of vehicles he had, so I went into his garage. Lo and behold, hidden in the far corner of his garage was...a chrome Adder! I haven't seen one of those in a long time, so I decided to take a picture of it. The picture is below.

 

[_Pythonomorpha_]

I had just sold an Oracle to LSC to make some quick money. I was about to drive back to my apartment to start a heist, but I see an apartment invite at the bottom. I accept it and teleport to the guy's apartment. Me being into cars, I wanted to see what kind of vehicles he had, so I went into his garage. Lo and behold, hidden in the far corner of his garage was...a chrome Adder! I haven't seen one of those in a long time, so I decided to take a picture of it. The picture is below.

 

Chradders have died out. It's all about the Chrurumas and the Chrinsurgents now, with the occasional Chrentorno.

[StarFireFly]

I had a crazy weekend. Friday I joined the Voggoes

 

Then Saturday morning I joined the Ballas

Edited May 12, 2015 by jessicaFly

[StarFireFly]

Then on Saturday night I did something really bad for the Ballas, everyone got away but me.

But now I'm news anchor. I'll be bringing lots of news in the future.

[BeersInsteadofGears]

Then after a while when everyone had left, I was checking around my garage in Richard Majesty apt. After that, I tried to access the apartment floor. After a short loading, my character spawned back standing in front of the elevator door, and turned out that I'd been teleported to my Popular Street 10-car garage.. Wtf??!

Holy sh*te, the exact same thing happened to me last night. Went to go have a shower and put on my K Rose T-shirt in Richards Majestic apartment and ended up in my sports classics garage in Popular St. Must be some kind of a bug

[Shadowfennekin]

I stumbled across a host who was extremely generous on Series A Finale. 25% to all, yay! Easy 126 k

 

After it was all done, I quickly switched on Passive in case anyone tried anything then saluted him and thanked him for his generosity.

 

I'm now at 14 million. To think I was dead broke after buying all the new clothes and vehicles. xD I'm rich.... until that new update comes out and makes me broke again </3

Edited May 12, 2015 by Shadowlarvitar

[Lay]

Shout out to that guy that was going to expose me on his YouTube for hacking (after I legit destroyed them in a deathmatch)

 

Two weeks later still no footage, and their YouTube only has 6 subscribers which makes their threat even more laughable

[NebulousGeek]

Much hilarity when doing Cleaning the Cat House.

 

Grab a chopper to avoid the dull drive back to Martins place. After cleaning said cat house, guy in the group gets Anna and then hops aboard the chopper and off we go. With Anna safe from her kidnappers and on her way home to live a long and happy life, or something of that ilk.

 

Start the descent to land at Martins and the guy decides this is taking too long or something and jumps out to chute down.

 

Anna, with no parachute, blindly follows him... /failsplat

[Adrian_AFTB]

Much hilarity when doing Cleaning the Cat House.

 

Grab a chopper to avoid the dull drive back to Martins place. After cleaning said cat house, guy in the group gets Anna and then hops aboard the chopper and off we go. With Anna safe from her kidnappers and on her way home to live a long and happy life, or something of that ilk.

 

Start the descent to land at Martins and the guy decides this is taking too long or something and jumps out to chute down.

 

Anna, with no parachute, blindly follows him... /failsplat

 

Anna, who sounds like Lester. Well, she does for me anyway... not sure if she's had her voice changed as I've not done this mission since the updates went live.

Edited May 12, 2015 by Adrian_AFTB

[_Pythonomorpha_]

Doing Cleaning The Cathouse with a level 13 and a level 71.

 

I'm using the good old "land on the roof with a chopper" method, only this time I decided to use my Savage just so I could rain down hell on the enemies in the motel for a little bit of RP (not that I need it, I'm level 148). Well, I found out the hard way that a Savage will NOT fit in Martin's driveway. While trying to land, the rotor blades snagged onto a telephone pole and the Savage turned UPSIDE-DOWN. Yes, upside-down. I didn't even think that was possible. I panicked with the controls, the main rotor piledrove onto the road, then my Savage blew up:

 

Pythonomorpha died.

 

Mission FAILED

Anna died.

 

It was incredibly embarassing because I pretty much carried the two low-levels through the other missions, then suddenly I'm the reason why we failed. I voted to restart, and they both voted to continue.

 

Lesson learned: Never try to land a Savage in Martin's driveway.

[Adrian_AFTB]

Sounds like you learned a... *puts on shades* ... Savage lesson, my friend.

 

*YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH*

[YirbyBond00Y]

That moment you pull out up just in time

 

 

1:52

 

James Bond is that you?

Edited May 12, 2015 by YirbyBond00Y