Just a few blemishes

[jdkzombie]

In an otherwise awesome game, there are some things that really jabber my dandies quite handily.

 

1) The Cops. Not that I don't enjoy a tense shootout with LS's finest, but come the f*ck on. EVERY cop is a crack shot. Each and every single law enforcement officer in the city are all ex Seal operators apparently, and could shoot the asshole of a fly at 2000 paces. I would expect this kind of skill at like 4, or 5 stars, but at 2 stars its manageable, 3 stars and out come the crack shots. Not necessary.

 

2) Also Cops again. So get this, there I am, online, doing a repo mission for Simeon, and my mark is on the other side of the planet in a Ocelot Jackal, so I snatch a Banshee in a parking lot and head out. Of course immediately I get a text from "unknown" saying Imma put a bounty on yo head for 5 stacks....in a closed session friends only game....sure whatever....then a cop see's me, and apparently can SMELL that this is a stolen ride, and starts to pursue me, 1 star leads to 2, 2 stars leads to 3, and stays at 3, but now cops are driving the Taurus interceptor copy, and Having driven a few of them myself, both in game and the real world, let me be the first to ask you R*.....in what f*cking universe do cop cars accelerate from like 80 mph, to warp speed to ram my car in the rear bumper like they are packing a Veyron with a 100lb wet shot of Nitrous? Seriously? I'm in a Viper. At maximum speed, and this cop behind me, in which the cars are limited at 125 IRL, somehow is bestowed with the speed of the winged steed of Odin and shoots up to ram me. Whoever's idea it was at R* needs to be beaten to near death in front of their family with a claw hammer. Or at least given a nastiest wedgie ever inflicted upon mankind.

 

3) Weapons. Not really the weapons themselves, but more or less the concept of it all. Like the fact that you simply cant take a bullet in the game. Doing a mission? With armor on? 3 shots and you are at or near deaths door. But yet it takes a whole magazine from my pistol to drop a single gangbanger. Awkward? yeah I thought so too.

 

4) Driving. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy this over Saints row driving by far, but I do miss the GTA 4 physics a bit, mostly the ability to drift around corners. Now in GTA 5 every car sticks to the road like sh*t to sandpaper for the most part, only when you really...REALLY push it they break the ass end loose and then immediately spin out. I remember good times in the Vigero on 4, running from the cops, power drifting through corners until my tires blew. Eh, oh well, as is, it is still leagues better than anything Saints row could ever do.

 

5) Garages. For example your garage. If there is one single thing I wish R* would have adopted from taints row, is the idea that once a car is yours, no matter where you leave it, it would wind up back in your garage. Period. None of this impound your ride crap. Leave it somewhere and BAM, its back available in your garage. Or at least give us the option to have a mechanic deliver our car to us, like you can do online. I have 300 million dollars....trust me, I can afford the 50 bucks a day to a mechanic to take care of my rides.

 

*Online garages. I can understand the tracker and insurance crud. But if I am wondering around LS and happen across a sweet sports car, if you arent going to let me store it in my garage, like the ass's you are, at least let me pull into the customs shops and sell the damn things. This "ride is too hot" crap is stupid. Purchase premium vehicles online? I thought this was grand THEFT auto, not grand PURCHASE PREMIUM VEHICLES ONLINE auto. But I digress, at least let us sell the damn things.

 

6) This is an idea to combat the griefers in online who make it their sole mission in life to be complete tools to other players. The more players they kill, the less money they get for mission completion. Kill enough players in a single session and you start getting cops on you, starting at 3 stars, and if you meet a threshold, you every time you die, you lose all your ammo for your weapons. Not your weapons, but all ammo. Maybe....eh probably not, it sounds good anyways.

 

7) Why is it, that I can be driving a boosted infernus, on the highway, and I am just barely passing normal cars? Driving the Veyron gets you the same. Now I dont expect 250 mph, but all stats on cars should change for every mod. Add 100% armor? Top speed and acceleration should go down. Suspension should improve handling stat.

 

* Speaking of suspension, why the f*ck can I not install lift kits to trucks? You can lower everything you pull in a damn shop, but I cant lift and install mud tires on trucks? Lame. Very lame. As far as I know, you can get the BF INjection, the Sandking, both SWB and XL version, and the Rebel 4x4 that are lifted already. There is no place to acquire more of the MErryweather jeeps that I know of, which sucks. But come on. Trucks. Lift kits. Mud tires. Make it happen. Even if I wanted to lift one of the el caminos and put truck tires on it too. Why not?

 

Back to 7, upgrades are actually pretty stale. You can add sh*t to cars that nobody wants, but yet I cant add pushbars, and KC lights to jeeps, and hummers? I can put triple butterfly ram air on a jalopy, but I cant lift a truck? For shame Rockstar.....for shaaaaame.

 

This is for Online mode.

 

Why does my character's face look like he got put through a russian hazing session twice? Seriously lol Dude wears a mask at the moment because of it.

 

 

 

Honestly, R* should have waited to release Online mode. Made sure everything was up and running ship shape. At the moment its a pain in the ass to make any money, what with A) people who love to grief the crap out of other players and B) Missions that don't really pay for crap.

 

We need the Heists. We need Gruppe money vans to hit. We need to be able to take ANY car, ANY time to the scrapyard and salvage it for money, sans other players vehicles. No "time limit" to sell vehicles. The only limitation is the more you steal in a set amount of time, the faster the cops are called, the higher the star rating you get for the car, and longer the cooldown needs to be to lose the heat.

 

Now. Yeah thats a pretty healthy list of crap that irks me. But the game itself is solid. Yeah there are bugs and kinks to iron out like any other. But thus far, after playing the story 3 times, and now at online level 12, it's getting pretty stale. I'm anxiously awaiting Heists activity online, and the iFruit app for my android phone.

 

I love the game. I do. But these things quickly jam my badgers and that pisses me off.

 

Hope the DLC and expac stuff really hits home. Also, hurry up with the micro transactions, so we can start complaining about that too! But really, hurry up, I require a large garage, and trying to make 300k in online blows like the words from Trevor's face hole!