Gunnies Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 (edited) Let's take it back a step, the game is called GRAND THEFT AUTO. Hey guys maybe if we play the game the absolute bullsh*t way by not stealing cars and killing people it will unlock the UFO/Jetpack What the f*ck is wrong with you man? The whole series revolves around gameplay like this! Edited October 1, 2013 by Gunnies StupidAssHeadAss 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TruthHunter Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Oh by the way I'd like to request that everyone try to cool it on the personal insults and whatnot while he is composing his "final essay". I know that it's an easy target but it's also kinda against our rules. i'm not even joking about it. i legitimately believe this guy is a virgin. what do you say on the matter, anuj? What this dude decides to do with his weiner and butt in his private time is really none of any of our concern tbh i'm more concerned and worried about the safety of others around him. 30 years of no sex and not even a female touch has to turn a man into a complete nervous psychopath (the proof is here in this thread). who knows what he might do if someone just doesn't order a hooker for him soon. maybe we should start a charity? get brian laid to save the lives of innocent people. Let's start the Get Brian Some Foundation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brian. Posted October 1, 2013 Author Share Posted October 1, 2013 (edited) Hello my name is anuj and you are possibly the most batsh*t insane member I have ever come across in over 11 years on this message board. You've sent dozens of reports ranging from "he insulted me" to "he isn't smart enough to understand" and I've had to spend more time than is reasonable (reasonable being <3 minutes) trying to figure out if you're insane or completely insane. I'd like to propose an offer. I'm not going to be bothered reading all this crazy sh*t. If you can summarize it in three paragraphs (<400 words TOTAL) and provide concrete evidence of whatever the hell it is you're trying to say, I will abandon my position as mod and insist to the moderating team that you be modded in my place. You have 6 hours to complete this task. Regards, i think my brain melted I will begin 400 words when the text changes color. I will shoot to reach 400. You have been generous to give me 6 hours and 400 words, I really need much less, Because when the prize is great, then so must be the effort. I will use my excelsior literacy and writing skills to hit 400 words exactly. I'm far from crazy, but you know what they say about smart people. I just don't do well in situations where I am blatantly exhibiting intelligence and people who do not understand me become like the fools in Idiocracy and I am powerless to stop them. If I win this prize, people will be more considerate in how they speak to me, allowing me to be more forgiving in how I clear up their confusions. If it weren't for the rampant inferiority complexes that assault me, I would not be so egotistical as they say. Passage starts now: GTA V is a test of your character. It is a puzzle. It even evaluates you psychologically at the end of the game. You are on a deep, personal journey for enlightenment, participating in yoga for your chi, and triathlons are commonly done by people who see them as spiritually therapeutic. It is the entire theme of the game, right in front of our faces, just like the clues tell us. Bearing that central theme in mind, it becomes obvious: The mysterious picture on Mount Chiliad is a hint toward your fate depending on how you play the game. It is littered with other clues that help you to figure it out. The graffiti which says "come back after YOUR story is complete" is also a direct hint at this - your story is important to the easter egg. Next, in addition to complimenting this fact by its very name, the picture of Sinners Passage says that you will be judged, "For when the greatest scorer [Kraff] comes to write against your name [judge your gameplay], he marks not that you won, but how you played the game [self explanatory that God does not care if you complete it - he cares how you completed it]" It would take a complete and utter mental case to read this after all that has been debunked and actually deny that this is in fact the solution to the mysteries we've all been trying to figure out. The solution is that you will never get the UFO or any other special collectibles or items or vehicles that are secret unless you play the story right, without messing anything up. You can kill Packie, and never ever meet him. Some people never even realize they did it. That could be viewed as a clue, but it is proof that you can effect the game based on decisions you don't even know you are making. People have played the game and done the same kind of event without knowing it - feeding altruists potential future friends or required connections. The mystery has been how to access the easter eggs. Everyone saw the clues and found the stuff they are locked out of, but no one has unlocked the eggs. It's because most of them downloaded the save, and none of them played correctly under the saucer shaped watchful all knowing eyes of Kraff, brother brothers. Exactly 400 words. 2 pictures. Deniable only by the doubters. And in that case, they are unsavables forever. Kifflom. ModCave here I come. I love you 'nuj, and thank you for the opportunity. Those will be tough shoes to fill. At woolva, it's not the solution that is getting bashed, it's the PC gamer who figured out out, without even playing the game This better hit news "PC gamer solves without even playing". Edited October 1, 2013 by brian. Dog_Bread 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pistoche Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 You're either on something or on to something. Only time will tell. Kudos for the fresh new look on things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Choymz Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ezfaun Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 (edited) Ban me Anuj if you must, but I am sick and tired of those f*cking gifs right now. Edited October 1, 2013 by ezfaun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VolkXue Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Hello my name is anuj and you are possibly the most batsh*t insane member I have ever come across in over 11 years on this message board. You've sent dozens of reports ranging from "he insulted me" to "he isn't smart enough to understand" and I've had to spend more time than is reasonable (reasonable being <3 minutes) trying to figure out if you're insane or completely insane. I'd like to propose an offer. I'm not going to be bothered reading all this crazy sh*t. If you can summarize it in three paragraphs (<400 words TOTAL) and provide concrete evidence of whatever the hell it is you're trying to say, I will abandon my position as mod and insist to the moderating team that you be modded in my place. You have 6 hours to complete this task. Regards, i think my brain melted I will begin 400 words when the text changes color. I will shoot to reach 400. You have been generous to give me 6 hours and 400 words, I really need much less, Because when the prize is great, then so must be the effort. I will use my excelsior literacy and writing skills to hit 400 words exactly. I'm far from crazy, but you know what they say about smart people. I just don't do well in situations where I am blatantly exhibiting intelligence and people who do not understand me become like the fools in Idiocracy and I am powerless to stop them. If I win this prize, people will be more considerate in how they speak to me, allowing me to be more forgiving in how I clear up their confusions. If it weren't for the rampant inferiority complexes that assault me, I would not be so egotistical as they say. Passage starts now: GTA V is a test of your character. It is a puzzle. It even evaluates you psychologically at the end of the game. You are on a deep, personal journey for enlightenment, participating in yoga for your chi, and triathlons are commonly done by people who see them as spiritually therapeutic. It is the entire theme of the game, right in front of our faces, just like the clues tell us. Bearing that central theme in mind, it becomes obvious: The mysterious picture on Mount Chiliad is a hint toward your fate depending on how you play the game. It is littered with other clues that help you to figure it out. The graffiti which says "come back after YOUR story is complete" is also a direct hint at this - your story is important to the easter egg. Next, in addition to complimenting this fact by its very name, the picture of Sinners Passage says that you will be judged, "For when the greatest scorer [Kraff] comes to write against your name [judge your gameplay], he marks not that you won, but how you played the game [self explanatory that God does not care if you complete it - he cares how you completed it]" It would take a complete and utter mental case to read this after all that has been debunked and actually deny that this is in fact the solution to the mysteries we've all been trying to figure out. The solution is that you will never get the UFO or any other special collectibles or items or vehicles that are secret unless you play the story right, without messing anything up. You can kill Packie, and never ever meet him, some people never even realize they did it. That could be viewed as a clue, but it is proof that you can effect the game based on decisions you don't even know you are making. People have played the game and done the same kind of event without knowing it - feeding altruists potential future friends or required connections. The mystery has been how to access the easter eggs. Everyone saw the clues and found the stuff they are locked out of, but no one has unlocked the eggs. It's because most of them downloaded the save, and none of them played correctly under the saucer shaped watchful all knowing eyes of Kraff, brother brothers. Exactly 400 words. 2 pictures. Denyable only by the doubters. And in that case, they are unsavables forever. Kifflom. ModCave here I come. I love you 'nuj, and thank you for the opportunity. Those will be tough shoes to fill. At woolva, it's not the solution that is getting bashed, it's the PC gamer who figured out out, without even playing the game This better hit news "PC gamer solves without even playing". You do know that Kraff not the only alien God, Epsilon not the only cult that believes in alien gods, and they not even friendly with all 3 characters.. Right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunnies Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 (edited) He asked for concrete evidence genius, don't count your chickens before they hatch. Edited October 1, 2013 by Gunnies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickSimo Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Im going to laugh my f*cking ass off when brian is wrong (again) and him and all his mightyness is brought down to earth. M_Redfield 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Itzreality Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 This is entertaining Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brian. Posted October 1, 2013 Author Share Posted October 1, 2013 (edited) He asked for concrete evidence genius, don't count your chickens before they hatch. That is concrete evidence, genius. I was asked for concrete EVIDENCE. And I provided evidence that this is the solution. Now it must face the jury in the game, but I have provided you the concrete undeniable evidence (provided your brain can process and understand it), and now you can provide the proof (and you will not fail, if you have faith). Edited October 1, 2013 by brian. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spamtackey Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Brian, what you have there is another description of your theory. None of it is concrete evidence to prove that the theory is true, only that there are clues pointing towards your theory. To be brutally honestly, if you end up being right I will be very disappointed in Rockstar. Because that would mean that instead of fixing any of the problems GTA V has, instead of balancing it better, instead of adding things like safe houses, and instead of adding a few more game missions, they decided to make a hidden system to track the players actions for the sake of a hidden vehicle that they know everyone wants to play with. Not only that, but they set the bar towards finding that vehicle in direct opposition to that of the GTA series so that only a very, very small percentage of the player-base will be able to access it without making the game a chore. That's not very clever, that's just being stupid. That's the biggest reason I doubt the theory. There is no logical reason for Rockstar to design the game that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M_Redfield Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 I just want to be 100% clear here, to make sure I get it: You're saying that we have to complete every mission, every side mission, every activity, and every RAMPAGE without killing peds? Do you understand how ungodly hard that would be? Nobody would ever unlock anything. You have to be trolling here, because there's just no way somebody would think this without stopping and laughing to themselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slimjim420 Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Ya its a theory, not fact. I like your theory though, makes sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunnies Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 He asked for concrete evidence genius, don't count your chickens before they hatch. That is concrete evidence, genius. I was asked for concrete EVIDENCE. And I provided evidence that this is the solution. Now it must face the jury in the game, but I have provided you the concrete undeniable evidence (provided your brain can process and understand it), and now you can prove the evidence (and you will not fail, if you have faith). It is not concrete evidence at all! It's simply theory and speculation. You don't even own the bloody game. This idea is not the worst that I've seen but the way you instantly jump to the conclusion that you have it right is really bugging me. You are constantly starting new forum topics with your ideas about the game when you really just need to buy hell, f*cking rent a console and play the game. I completed the game MY way and my Easter eggs react exactly the same as everybody else's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shoelaces! Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Talk about overblown navelgazing. Has anyone tried honking the space docker at the ufo? seems pretty simple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vugo Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Brian, what you have there is another description of your theory. None of it is concrete evidence to prove that the theory is true, only that there are clues pointing towards your theory. To be brutally honestly, if you end up being right I will be very disappointed in Rockstar. Because that would mean that instead of fixing any of the problems GTA V has, instead of balancing it better, instead of adding things like safe houses, and instead of adding a few more game missions, they decided to make a hidden system to track the players actions for the sake of a hidden vehicle that they know everyone wants to play with. Not only that, but they set the bar towards finding that vehicle in direct opposition to that of the GTA series so that only a very, very small percentage of the player-base will be able to access it without making the game a chore. That's not very clever, that's just being stupid. That's the biggest reason I doubt the theory. There is no logical reason for Rockstar to design the game that way. It's so obvious that they wouldn't ever make an easter egg based around the entirety of the game. This guy is either one of the 3: A nutjob (most likely, considering every post he has made in any thread in here), a troll OR a jester (yes, I would have to use such an "adjective" so I can even relate to this). In a game as long as this, I think it's pretty damn obvious that if they wanted to add an endgame Easter Egg quest, they would probably make sure it can be solved in any outcome (including the 3 multiple endings). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fmlad Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 I'm saving this whole conversation as a webpage.. this will make an excellent youtube video when the truth comes out and Brian is made out to look like an idiot. lol.. It may even go down in history as some kind of meme or definition. Billy: Did you see that guy? That dudes crazy. Steve: No, That guy was being a 'Brian'. Pmsl.. M_Redfield 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjkuhlenbeck Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 brain. , I don't think you understand what "evidence" means. Also... This is like the forth mod i've seen on these boards, and he's badass (Not that the others aren't, these posts were just epic). When you get called out by a badass brian., you back down unless you're more badass. Oh well, was nice knowin ya buddy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ezfaun Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 @brian If i were to present "concrete" evidence like that to my superior, then I would most likely get ridiculed at and possibly fired. The only thing concrete here is your brain that can't present any other sort of evidence and yet still try to hold presence in this argument. When will you learn that in the professional world, evidence means nothing without results. And I do mean professional as in profession. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anuj Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Okay. Here begins your thesis defense: Question one: WHERE IS MY GODDAMN MOTHERf*ckING JETPACK? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VolkXue Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 @brian If i were to present "concrete" evidence like that to my superior, then I would most likely get ridiculed at and possibly fired. The only thing concrete here is your brain that can't present any other sort of evidence and yet still try to hold presence in this argument. When will you learn that in the professional world, evidence means nothing without results. And I do mean professional as in profession. He hasn't even played the game.. Hes going on what hes read on forums which isn't even the whole story when it comes to cults in SA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M_Redfield Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Okay. Here begins your thesis defense: Question one: WHERE IS MY GODDAMN MOTHERf*ckING JETPACK? I'm betting he's going to say that the UFO(s) give it to you after beating the game without firing a single shot. Gunnies 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Tel Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 The only evidence I see is of your overinflated ego and your misuse of the word intelligence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spamtackey Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Okay. Here begins your thesis defense: Question one: WHERE IS MY GODDAMN MOTHERf*ckING JETPACK? Is the closest we can provide. ...Unless you play San Andreas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjkuhlenbeck Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Okay. Here begins your thesis defense: Question one: WHERE IS MY GODDAMN MOTHERf*ckING JETPACK? f*ckin lol'd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fmlad Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Psst...Brian... Lmao.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ezfaun Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Actually to be honest, I'm afraid that he's going to do something drastic IRL. I'd lock this treasure chest nice and quick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anuj Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Okay. Here begins your thesis defense: Question one: WHERE IS MY GODDAMN MOTHERf*ckING JETPACK? Is the closest we can provide. ...Unless you play San Andreas. Real talk this is some Super Mario Sunshine level bullsh*t brian. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vugo Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Considering he hasn't replied for a while, I think it's safe to assume that he went to bed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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