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Best and funniest GTA V quotes!


DrandonBavis
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At the central LS hospital there's always 2 guys saying : "i will f**k you the f**k up" and "stop dancing with the devil sellout!" Makes me laugh everytime!

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grumpy cat meme

Girl talking to another girl:

 

"I had to suck this other guy to get the job interview."

 

 

 

 

Sadly, it is reality sometimes.

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"Stop this (Don't remember this part) or I'll report you. I'm english"

 

This is from a female ped

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THE_TREVALEV

"If I'm flying all the way to Liberty City, y'all motherf*ckers are feeding me. And stop sitting me next to f*cking fat people. I hate fat people. What's up, Franklin!"

Just go to the ghetto, and listen to phone conversations lol.

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"Is there any place I'd rather be,


than drunk as a skunk at the Alamo sea?


I told my wife bitch I'm going out for a snack


That was ten years ago and I ain't been back.


Show me the way to Sandy Shores,


I spent all my money on meth and on whores."


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Lelouch The Zero

'YOU f*ckAAAAAA!" by some gay dude when driving fast in traffic.

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UnspokenOuch

Here are some hilarious quotes:


I have 4 more videos ready which I'll upload soon, and I'm making many more!
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Sir Winthorpe Herrington

Ahhh Ahhhhh AHHHHHH! has to be my favorite. It's this really high pitched voiced guy and you will hear him screaming like a bitch if you start killing people around him. I'm always laughing as I chase him down and gut him.

Edited by Sir Winthorpe Herrington
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Chevy Wolfs

"Euhuehu you're trying to feel my tits" - Old woman

"And I dont wanna end up peeing in my coffe cup again!" - Man talking to phone

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chrisscorsese88

I always hear this one woman say "Go f*ck your mama in the keester!". I can't help but laugh every time I hear that.

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"I got the baby power for your chaffing" - Some fat bitch talking on her phone.

Edited by BloodRed87
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PandaLovingLion

I quite like the one I just heard. Sure I like the insults/sexual things/swearing like recent posts, but I just heard a guy walking around on the phone saying "Yes, dad, I went to the dentist". Its funnier when the guy looks 30+ and is still being bugged by parents

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UnspokenOuch

I'm rich, my life is perfect, I live in a palace, and I hate myself! xD
Here's a few I like most:

 

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"You f*ck-stick sh*t-eating Alien Scum!" - Random Black Dude

Edited by nbr94
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TableTennisChamp

There 's this one guy who yells when you crash into people's cars or steal his. He says these quotes, "What the HELL!?" "What the devil!?" "Oh my god!" He says it in a different way from other pedestrians to the point where it is unique and funnier despite them being common phrases.

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I always here the random "Oh my" in a somewhat neutral tone after playing some traffic bumper cars.

Not necessarily pedestrian, but "Mendoza's been hit, Mendoza's been hit!" has been drilled into my brain.

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Some idiot lady was speaking on the phone telling someone how she could screw with guys now that she was divorced and her ex husband was to busy taking care of the kids and the pension for her... I put me on my nerves and shot on the face with a shotgun and then burned her body.

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Michael: We ready for this?

Trevor: I could use a restroom break.

Michael: And risk getting ID´d. You´re an Idiot

Trevor: I gotta go. It´s a number two

Michael: Yeah well, pinch it off.

Trevor: I go in the bank, i have a baggy

Michael: Double bagged

 

:D on the way to the bank of paleto bay for the heist :D

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Cutter De Blanc

"Ohhhhohhhohhh Fuhuhuhck!" That one always makes me smile.

 

I bumped that fat black woman and she goes, "My man LOVE me!" :lol:

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"I'm going to Aruba" in a crazy old lady's voice

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

lol jks it's not even from V, it is probs my fav ped quote though, just love the way she used to almost scream it in your face!

 

12 points for who ever can tell me what GTA she was in though??......

 

 

Best V quote though?

 

"My child is 12 and you are trying to peddle mail order drugs to them on an online game???? WTF?!" - Not sure what ped it was, but she was going f*cking mental lol...

 

Strange because, I was tapping up some kid to buy painkillers by post only 10mins before!? That's some interactive sh*t right there! Technology has moved on!

Edited by blakeney
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"I'm going to Aruba" in a crazy old lady's voice

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

lol jks it's not even from V, it is probs my fav ped quote though, just love the way she used to almost scream it in your face!

 

12 points for who ever can tell me what GTA she was in though??......

 

 

Best V quote though?

 

"My child is 12 and you are trying to peddle mail order drugs to them on an online game???? WTF?!" - Not sure what ped it was, but she was going f*cking mental lol...

 

Strange because, I was tapping up some kid to buy painkillers by post only 10mins before!? That's some interactive sh*t right there! Technology has moved on!

"I'm going to Aruba" is from GTA III.

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"I'm going to Aruba" in a crazy old lady's voice

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

lol jks it's not even from V, it is probs my fav ped quote though, just love the way she used to almost scream it in your face!

 

12 points for who ever can tell me what GTA she was in though??......

 

 

Best V quote though?

 

"My child is 12 and you are trying to peddle mail order drugs to them on an online game???? WTF?!" - Not sure what ped it was, but she was going f*cking mental lol...

 

Strange because, I was tapping up some kid to buy painkillers by post only 10mins before!? That's some interactive sh*t right there! Technology has moved on!

"I'm going to Aruba" is from GTA III.

 

strange, I was remembering it was from VC, but googled it too, and you're right, its III lol! -12pts for me:P :cookie:

 

I think I always remembered it being VC, is I picture one of those matching shellsuit and glittery hat wearing 90yo's you get in Miami/Florida ect ?! :p

Edited by blakeney
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The Gardener

This isn't really a pedestrian quote, but a driver.

 

So this Mexican guy ran me over and gasps "Is it wrong that that turned me on?"

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darkassasin216

I was walking around the sreets and walked up to a cop he said ill call the cops

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this a classic pedestrian quote "go f*ck yourself" then your go f*ck yourself then you shot them cause they start to call the cop's just to get the cop's on you anyways cause you killed someone there your like f*ck that and type in cheat

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