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DrandonBavis

Best and funniest GTA V quotes!

Recommended Posts

dodgerfan4eva

Not really a quote, but Jimmy in full military outfit teabagging Michael was pretty damn funny. I know he said something while he was doing that but i can't quite remember.

i loved micheal reaction , like get f^ck of me lol

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RichG

I remember one ped called her mom on the phone and was like "Just calling to say I'm pregnant again" the convo went on for a while, it was hilarious but I can't remember the whole thing. It ended with something like "Oh well, just start knitting more diapers, Bye." or something like that.

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OhHeyBro

Some of my favourites that come to mind.

 

"Woah, you need to find peace, brah"

 

"City of Saints, Struggle. Los Santos, San Antrouble!"

 

"That sh*t was f*cked up last night right!?"

Edited by OhHeyBro

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OhHeyBro

"Eyyyy, you want to sit on this, mami?"

 

"f*ck me in the ass!"

Edited by OhHeyBro

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Fuzzknuckles

Old lady in hobo town, sitting in a chair:

 

'hehehehehehehe your mother's a slut' - she then got up and walked away, laughing.

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OhHeyBro

Old lady in hobo town, sitting in a chair:

 

'hehehehehehehe your mother's a slut' - she then got up and walked away, laughing.

Oh yeah, she was creepy. I think I knocked that bitch out.

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Neoflite

 

Old lady in hobo town, sitting in a chair:

 

'hehehehehehehe your mother's a slut' - she then got up and walked away, laughing.

Oh yeah, she was creepy. I think I knocked that bitch out.

 

The people look too realistic. Do you realise they are motion captured from real people? It`s just not fun to knock people out like that.

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TheWarzoneXL

Something along the lines of, "I'm well. Notice I said well. Grammar. If we lose that, then what do we have."

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OhHeyBro

 

 

Old lady in hobo town, sitting in a chair:

 

'hehehehehehehe your mother's a slut' - she then got up and walked away, laughing.

Oh yeah, she was creepy. I think I knocked that bitch out.

 

The people look too realistic. Do you realise they are motion captured from real people? It`s just not fun to knock people out like that.

Wut? I never said I don't punch the peds that provoke me.

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zzmorg82

"I'm calling the cops!"

 

>_>

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Peregrin  Brandytook

"I'm calling the cops!"

 

>_>

the one i always hear :lol:

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Benno215

"f*ck me in the aaaasss" has got to be one of the greatest ever. I crack up everytime I hear it.

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Squiddicus

"I'm on the paleolithic diet! Try to get involved!"

 

My favorite, just because I used to work with a guy who used to say this kind of sh*t all the time.

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HeisenbergKingofKings

There's some great ones, but one that will always stand out is the entire hipster convo between Michael and Trevor. That had me dying for at least five minutes!

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HeisenbergKingofKings

Franklin, he makes us multicultural! Lester makes it cyber! We're like modern America! We just get ourselves a gay friend and BAM!

Edited by HeisenbergKingofKings

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IIGemma

Wade say's some funny things, even his voice mail is funny.

He says something like this to Trevor, Wade - is that Syrup? it don't taste like syrup../ Trevor - STOP TASTING ME!

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BullworthAcademy

Not really a quote, but Jimmy in full military outfit teabagging Michael was pretty damn funny. I know he said something while he was doing that but i can't quite remember.

"I thought I was on the other guy!"

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darrellharris

My butt done went num. -wade

Edited by darrellharris

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darrellharris

I interacted with a ped as trevor. "Wow you are big, you need to lay off the pork chops"-trevor. "I'm not in the mood for this right now"-ped "but you are so huge"

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_Kindled_

"I swear if you fall to your death, I'm gonna f*cking kill you!" - Michael.

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gui_olecio

I have to meditate... or masturbate.

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Juzt

In the Urban Safari mission during the shootout between Trev, Franklin, Lamar and The Ballas.

 

In the middle of all the chaos 1 of the Ballas shouts out "Who''s that creepy white dude" about Trevor. It was just so out of the blue and random I died laughing.

Edited by Juzt

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TheDeaconBosco

"I've got to lie down... With 3 Women, and 2 men"

Somebody on Vespucci Beach.

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SavageSalad

"If you don't stop, I will call the cops." *2 seconds later* "OK, I am calling the cops." :sui:

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AsPalacesBurn

"Can I have some money? It's for CRACK!"

Edited by AsPalacesBurn

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FateRider

"Cheesy vaginas!"

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rampage08

Something about asshole and earth from Fabien , lol the yoga mission had some funny conversation.

 

Also :

The Troll conversation between Jimmy and Michael had me lmfao

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OhHeyBro

"Can I have some money? It's for CRACK!"

Why did you kill Jesse? Scumbag...

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AsPalacesBurn

 

"Can I have some money? It's for CRACK!"

Why did you kill Jesse? Scumbag...

 

to see if he returns in 3 days and 3 nights.

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ezfaun

That bitch so dirty, I had to scrape her ass with a spatula. -Random Ballas

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