When religious groups coming knocking...

[E•MO•TION]

The Question: How do I make it clear to religious groups that occasionally visit that I'm not interested, without sounding rude?

 

The Story: On Wednesday night, as I was doing homework, I heard a knock on the door. Not knowing who it could be, as it was 7 in the evening, I answered the door. I was expecting a relative but it turned out to be two young women from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. As I was really busy at the moment, I quickly wanted to say "Sorry, I'm not interested" but my problem is that naturally, to everyone in the world, I do not seem content. Growing up, people would always tell me to "smile, life is too short to be grumpy all the time". The point here is that I didn't want to "politely" inform them I'm not interested as most people would think I am very rude to too my face and voice. I simply don't want to seem like a rude person. It also didn't help that they were really cute.

 

Anyway, we ended up "chatting" for a good half hour and with me trying not to come across as a dick, one thing led to another, and suddenly now they will be visiting Monday night again. I was sort of interested in what they had to say as someday I would like to join a religious, but right now, will university applications coming up, I don't have the time, and won't for many years to come. Anyway, as mentioned above, how do I make it clear that I'm not interested at the moment, without coming across as an asshole, and also ensure they won't come back.

 

Additional info: I'm extremely self conscience, if you haven't noticed.

 

EDIT: come knocking*

Edited September 8, 2013 by 2281

[TECHN9CiAN]

Three methods to do this.

 

1. Politely state what religion you are and tell them you are happy with your faith and are not interested in converting.

 

2. Politely tell them you are not interested and wish them a good day as you close the door saying that you are in the middle of cooking something for your pretend cullinary class, and must leave them to finish cooking.

 

3. Politely tell them to f*ck off.

 

The first method should do the trick. If not, try option 2 or 3. The latter never fails.

 

Your welcome.

[OchyGTA]

Pretend that you've been possessed by a demon. They won't be a high enough level to provide an exorcism so will retreat to find a Paladin who can cleanse you. Upon his arrival, explain that it was all a misunderstanding and you were just suffering from wind as a result of eating at Mario's the previous night. Mario then appears on screen and makes a joke relating to how his quattro formaggi should be called quattro fartmaggi, everybody laughs, cut to freeze frame, the end. Roll the credits and that's a wrap.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In all seriousness, just explain that you have a lot on your plate at the moment and will be happy to discuss joining the group on your own terms i.e. going to see them

Edited September 8, 2013 by OchyGTA

[Tacymist]

Just answer the door butt naked and have porn on in the background on extremely high volume.

[GTA_stu]

I once had a Jehova's witness come to my door on my birthday. I thought it might have been on of those gram things you can send people. But it wasn't a jehovagram, it was real. That was actually the first one I ever had knocking on my door, and they were actually really nice. I didn't even find her annoying, I just spoke to her for a couple of minutes, not even about religious stuff or anything. Then she wished me a happy birthday and went on her way, and left me a pamphlet.

[rudy]

I had two young women from the Church of Jesus Christ knocking at my door once too. Guess what I did?

First I greeted them cheerfully and welcomed them into my house. Then, I asked them to sit on the couch. Then when they begun their religious chatting, I said I wanted to take a dump and I'll be right back. They were all like "Alright." Then I went into the bathroom and began to make pooping sounds with mouth. Then I sticked my head out of the bathroom and told them I'd shat in my pants by accident and if they would mind bringing me a pant from the wardrobe. Quickly, I got rid of all my clothes and become nekkid. Then, when one of them came with a pant to the bathroom door, I grabbed her hand and pulled her into the bathroom. She was totally startled at the glimpse of my naked body and I was all "YOUR MINE TONIGHT, BITCH" She ran out of the bathroom screaming and told her partner that I am a rapist tried to rape her. Then they both ran out of the house screaming. And that's pretty much how I drived them out of my house. You should totally try that, dude.

[darthYENIK]

Just don't open the door and yell, "Not interested."

[lil weasel]

I have an extra mailbox next to my door (we have curb delivery) labeled "Please, leave Bulletins, Handbills and Religious Material here."

The "Watch Tower" was being deposited every week for about a year. Then stopped. Others, just knock and go away, when the door doesn't open.

My Doorbell is turned off. The door knocker is behind a locked storm door.

And, my phone has a TAD device attached. I never answer the phone directly (My Message says so) unless I am expecting a call, which is like twice a year.

 

Don't engage them in the first place.

If you must, then begin with the "May Akatosh, bless thee."

Edited September 8, 2013 by lil weasel

[buzbegone]

I have a pet peeve with Jehovah's, they're harder to get rid of than the crabs.

But other religious people are easy to get rid of, you just have to be creative. For example, start reciting how much an hour it is for sex, headjobs, ect and if they start rambling on with religious sh*t you have to politely inform them that religious roleplay will cost them an extra $50. If that doesn’t work, just do random weird things that will scare them away.

I even see them online nowadays. It's like, Holy sh*t the Jehovah’s have gone online. It’s like a bad horror movie. No matter where you run, there’s always a Jehova round the corner or hiding in your mailbox, with their little bible in hand and ready to leap into action and start reciting bible quotes to you. Is there no escape?

[Eryn Gee TX-956]

no diss either but yea tha ones that come knockin always want to make they way inside my house, read the bible and pray with them.

[fromthecradletoenslave]

I wear my Jesus Is A C*** T-shirt

[beatthedevil56]

This always works for me. "I am an Atheist." they always move on.

[018361]

Jehovah's used to come to my house all the time. There was one time where I was doing yard work outside and I couldn't escape in time before they got out of their car and started asking if I had heard " the good word of Jehovah " or whatever they say. I said yes, and an old guy asked me my name and repeated it as if to say " Did I hear it right? ". Well, OldyMcgee got it wrong and I politely stated " no it's, and then I said my name. " He tried to say it and again got my name wrong. This repeated until I finally said yes when he asked me if my name was loogie, which it wasn't, but at this point I was getting frustrated. Anyway I caught a lucky break when someone from inside the house called for me and I said " Oh sorry, I have to go now ". To avoid them I usually try to get other people to open the door or just wait until they knock and go away.

[Cyper]

Tell them you're an atheist and that you don't want or need religion in your life.

 

Jehovah's have been knocking on my doors about 4-5 times this year. Same woman all the time. We haven't really discussed much religion but rather stuff like materialism, altruism, and so forth.

Unfortunately she have failed to understand that we have very, very different solutions for the Worlds problems.

 

 

By the way, why would you like to join a religion later in life?

 

There is not a shred of evidence for any supernatural existance! Besides, there are over 2,000 God's, how are you supposed to know which one is the true one and which religion that is the true one?

Because its not about faith! It's about evidence, and anyone who says otherwise is being very, very irrational and ignorant.

Edited September 8, 2013 by Cyper

[RoadRunner71]

1st, build a porch, and make sure to not varnish it.

 

2nd, get one of these. If you've done the first step right, the wooden floor will creak when the chair moves.

 

 

3rd, get one of these.

 

 

4th, grow a beard* and get some kind of hat, with camo or some beer brand could perfectly work.

 

*moustaches also allowed.

 

5th and last step. Wait sitting in the chair, with the shotgun resting in your thighs and looking down, so the hat covers your eyes and the bear your face. When some of these annoying religious groups approach to your house, make sure they can see the shotgun and yell them "to get off your property".

 

They won't come back again;)

[Mr. Scratch]

Always close your windows, I had two mosquitoes and a Jehovah's witness in my room when I forgot to close them.

[Hodgey.]

This always works for me. "I am an Atheist." they always move on.

 

That works at times, however somethimes they then ask me why i am a atheist and wheter i would consider changing. At that point you just have to be blunt with them and tell them that i aint ever going to change. They tend to move on after that.

[DEALUX]

and left me a pamphlet.

That's basically the only thing they do where I live. When they come to my home, it usually happens so fast that I take it and say goodbye, but if they actually wanted to talk I would tell them that I'm not interested. I once met one of them with his mother on the street and I was kind of in a hurry, so I told them that I was an atheist. He asked me what I believed in and I told him that I believe in science (anticipating the common criticism atheists get that they "don't believe in anything"). He actually wanted to debate me or something. His mother was surprised at my replies, like she had never seen an atheist before.

Edited September 8, 2013 by _____

[Cyper]

Lol!

 

15 minutes after I responded to this thread, guess what happened?

 

Jehovas returned!

 

 

This time the 40+ woman had different young and Beautiful lady with her. She was probably in the same age as me. It was hard to focus.

 

We kept on talking and she asked me what I thought about the previous brochure she gave me. I told her that it had interesting issues, but that I had a completely different answer to all of them.

 

The we spoke about science. She told me that the Bible was not in conflict with scientific theories - only those theories that was not solid enough. I replied and said that it depends on how you read the Bible and I said that ''There is for example some people that believe that the age is less than 10,000 years old. That goes against all current knowledge we have about the earths age.'' She Went quiet. So I reckon that this is exactly what they believe?

 

Then we kept on discussing other issues. After a while she said that ''Well, would you like us to come back?'', and I replied ''Yeah, do as you feel like.'' And then she smiled and said that ''We have a lot of scientific brochure - all of them with reliable, scientific sources of course. I could give you some of them.''

 

LOL!

Edited September 8, 2013 by Cyper

[Mr. Scratch]

 

I've never seen much point in getting heavy with stupid people or Jesus freaks, just as long as they don't bother me. In a world as weird and cruel as this one we have made for ourselves, I figure anybody who can find peace and personal happiness without ripping off somebody else deserves to be left alone.

 

[Typhus]

I always try to be polite with house-guests.

Save perhaps for the time when my Mother brought home some schizophrenic mental patients from the church and they started trying to break in through the back door. That's where I draw the line.

[Mr. Scratch]

I would hate to try and explain to them why I think there is no God, that maybe

he's a product of the demented imagination of a lazy drunken hillbilly with a heart full of hate who has found a way to live out where the real winds blow—to sleep late, have fun, get wild, drink whisky, and drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind except falling in love and not getting arrested.

[98 in 1]

I don't know if it's a Virginia thing, but Jehova's witness has never shown up at my doorstep any later than 6 AM. I wouldn't mind this so much if they didn't do it on the weekends. Due to this, I always open the door, give them the best angry stare in my sleepy stupor, then curtly slam the door in their face and resume sleeping.

 

Thankfully it's been ages since i've had a duo visit (knock on wood), but next time i'm just going to cut them off before they say anything and ask them what time it is.

Edited September 8, 2013 by mr6plow9

[TEoS]

I don't even answer my front door if I'm not expecting someone. All friends and family know only to use the back door (har har), so I know if anyone is knocking at the front they are probably someone I don't want to deal with.

[Laura91]

Just don't open the door and yell, "Not interested."

 

I yelled "Go away!" through the door one day since I had just got out of the shower. LOL The last time I had a religious group coming to my door, i just told them flat out that I was Agnostic and shut the door. The only time I ever actually let any religious people in was a long time ago when I was 19 and still living with my parents. I had just finished smoking a joint so I was high as a kite and rocking out to Deceased on my Dad's stereo.

 

They knocked and I assumed it was a friend from down the block so I turned the stereo down and went to the door. It was a pair of jehovah's witness's. I was like "come on in!" and I couldn't stop giggling. They actually went through their whole spiel and I was giggling the entire time. It was pretty absurd, really.

 

They eventually left after giving me some pamphlets (which I threw into the trash) and went on their way. They probably thought I was pretty out there.

[RoadRunner71]

This may also work to keep them away or avoid them to come back.

 

[GTA_stu]

My next door neighbour is a Jehova's witness too. She's like 97 years old and she has alzheimers. She thinks I've stolen her cat.

 

True story.

[theonlytobyever]

Just say you are busy and you have a bible, thanks.

[Secura]

My next door neighbour is a Jehova's witness too. She's like 97 years old and she has alzheimers. She thinks I've stolen her cat.

 

True story.

 

Cool story bro.

 

Anyway if you really want to get rid of them and don't want to become a Jehovah's Witness, then just say so. I'm pretty sure they'd rather spend their time conversing with someone who's on the bench about becoming one rather than a guy who's just leading them on.

[lil weasel]

Depends on which type you have.

The experienced one's will move on as you say.

But the young zealot's will attempt to 'convert' you to their thinking.

I've found this with all the Religious.

It's GOD's will that they must save your soul. It seems they only read the 'relevant' part's of their Bible.

They really don't trust GOD to know what is going on.

Edited September 8, 2013 by lil weasel