I Have a Confession to Make

[IveGotNoValues]

 

QUIT TELLING US YOU JERK OFF AS YOUR CONFESSION -__-.

 

 

We already know you beat since age 14 dammit.

Actually I started when I was 13(maybe it was even 12). ;-)

 

Geez what a late bloomer. I started at like 10 and a half or 11. Basically I was in 5th grade. I don know what the average age of masturbation discovery is, but I assume I started pretty early compared to others.

 

The first time I watched porn I was like 7 or 8. It was so much more interesting back then, now it's so predictable. Next year I can "legally" watch it, but I've already been watching it for 10 years.

Edited November 25, 2014 by IveGotNoValues

[Gay Tony]

-Kissed my dad once.(I asked if I could kiss him.)

-Thought about tasting my own semen.

These two made me cringe.

[Aby]

Time for me to...

 

[AlienTwo]

 

-Kissed my dad once.(I asked if I could kiss him.)

-Thought about tasting my own semen.

These two made me cringe.

 

Kissing your dad made you cringe? I kiss my son every day. I hope he doesn't cringe...

[dudclub55]

 

 

 

 

-Kissed my dad once.(I asked if I could kiss him.)

-Thought about tasting my own semen.

These two made me cringe.

 

Kissing your dad made you cringe? I kiss my son every day. I hope he doesn't cringe...

Unless he kissed him.. you know, in the wrong place. Now that's cringe worthy.

[Gay Tony]

Kissing your dad made you cringe? I kiss my son every day. I hope he doesn't cringe...

Never kissed my dad in any way, shape, or form whatsoever.

 

My mom on the other hand, gives me kisses ever time we see eachother (to this day) whether I like it or not.

[Tali vas Normandy]

Time for me to...

 

[Zelda snip]

Talks sh*t about Zelda yet using his gifs huh.

 

 

K

[EmagmaLak]

My confession?

 

• I'm actually very scared of this topic and a lot of the members who have posted in it.

[AlienTwo]

 

Time for me to...

 

[Zelda snip]

Talks sh*t about Zelda yet using his gifs huh.

 

 

K

 

Zelda's a chick, dude.

[Tali vas Normandy]

 

 

Time for me to...

 

[Zelda snip]

 

Talks sh*t about Zelda yet using his gifs huh.

K

 

Zelda's a chick, dude.I know but I meant the game itself.

She probably don't know who link is

 

Edit: glad I cleared that up because I did look like a gaming scrub for a second

Edited November 25, 2014 by tali vas Normandy

[Aby]

I know but I meant the game itself.

 

No you didn't, moron.

 

Bet you think that's Daisy in your sig and avatar too, pfft.

 

POSER ALERT!!!

[PinkRibbonScars]

One more.

-my friends took my swimming trunks off at the pool and hung over the shower head so instead of begging for it back I jumped out of the pool butt naked, walked over and started to put it back on(had some difficulty). A couple of people left including a pregnant lady , mom and her young child, and a few other females.

[t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m]

When I was little(5 and under) I liked to see my mom's tits. I mean, to be fair she did have nice tits, no incest.

[Dottie]

When I was little(5 and under) I liked to see my mom's tits. I mean, to be fair she did have nice tits, no incest.

mommy! It's milk time!

[Payne Killer]

When I was little(5 and under) I liked to see my mom's tits. I mean, to be fair she did have nice tits, no incest.

Um, okay.

 

On topic: I miss The Hardwood bitcher, I never got to give him a hug.

[98 in 1]

I don't miss the Harwood Bitcher, and I never found him funny or entertaining.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

isnt this the part where im supposed to feel better about myself

[IveGotNoValues]

 

When I was little(5 and under) I liked to see my mom's tits. I mean, to be fair she did have nice tits, no incest.

mommy! It's milk time!

 

This just reminded me of another confession I have. I was never breastfed as a child...yep.

[reiniat]

I wanted to make a confession that would have taken the things a bit too far.... imho... So i just couldnt do it. Im gonna do it eventually, i dont want to be a craven anymore.

 

Also the Harwood Bitcher was shyte, no one should miss him. I'm glad he's gone.

[Tali vas Normandy]

 

 

When I was little(5 and under) I liked to see my mom's tits. I mean, to be fair she did have nice tits, no incest.

 

mommy! It's milk time!

 

This just reminded me of another confession I have. I was never breastfed as a child...yep.Is that something bad?? Cause niether was I. Hell I though most mothers didn't breastfeed at all.

[Vehicles]

I used water and WATER only to jerk off when I was 12.And my friend used a toilet roll to masturbate for the first time.

[Alex Wesker]

This thread's gone to sh*t lol

[Average white guy]

And my friend used a toilet roll to masturbate for the first time.

I once used a toilet roll to masturbate. Felt weird but hey had to try it.

Edited November 26, 2014 by TheGreenSadler

[Vehicles]

 

 

And my friend used a toilet roll to masturbate for the first time.

I once used a toilet roll to masturbate. Felt weird but hey had to try it.And the cum is red coloured.

[IveGotNoValues]

 

 

And my friend used a toilet roll to masturbate for the first time.

I once used a toilet roll to masturbate. Felt weird but hey had to try it.

That's nothing. Once when I was about 12 or 13 I was very curious and used the inside of a banana, wih some of the banana guts still in there. Let's just say it got very messy and was a bitch to clean up. Don't judge me...I was a kid haha

[dolan duk]

So many future sex offenders in this thread...

[a20characterusername]

Just going through this topic and seeing different members that I recognize saying some f*cked up sh*t really puts things in perspective... They showed their true colors and I'll never look at them the same...

This post just fits so much better here.

 

OT: One time when I was really desperate for a ride (stranded in the desert, kicked off the Greyhound), I got a ride from some kid who turned out to be a methhead. We ended up breaking into a house (that he originally said was his, was his ex's) and we crashed there while we ate chicken nuggets and watched Leno. We left at about 6am out the back door JUST as she was coming home. No, we didn't take anything....except the chicken nuggets. f*ck you I was hungry.

[Flachbau]

This thread's gone to sh*t lol

 

It's better to have all the weird f*cks in here than to have them spam the entire forum

[Jago]

I have to get this off my chest: I ruthlessly murdered a fly.

 

let me tell you guys I'm pretty militant about flies in my room, I swat those little peckers out of the air without so much as batting an eye, but this fly was a special fly. it landed... in my god damn coffee. my peppermint mocha coffee, dark french roast. as you might understand, I was pretty angry, yet relieved by the thought that it was probably dead, I hopped to the kitchen and grabbed me a spoon and set to work on removing the pest. to my shock... it was alive. alive and struggling. I was hellbent, my mind was polluted by dreams of revenge. I'm not proud of this next part, but I tried to put it down, euthanize it, so to speak. I held it down with the spoon in an attempt to suppress it, but to no avail. it kept managing to slip out, which only made me angrier. I resorted to drastic measures, and began beating its head with the spoon in an attempt to silence it through brute trauma. harder and harder, tears of agony slipping out onto my face, puddles of tainted brew began splashing all about the desk.

 

it was over in a matter of seconds. the bastard was dead for sure, but I didn't know that. in one last effort to seal the deal, I pulled the corpse out and slapped it onto the cold wooden desktop. I whipped out my accomplice, the family fly swatter, and I swatted that fly until there was no fly to swat. finally, satisfied with my vigilantism, I wound back the head of my tool and let go. the bloodied mess flung out onto the soft beige carpet below. to this day, the fly remains there in its final, shallow grave. I sat down at my workstation, almost repressing what had just happened, sipping on what remained of the now lukewarm beverage. in my defense, it was a pretty good coffee.

[Ciaran]

You f*cking psychopath.

Edited November 26, 2014 by Ciaran

[Gnocchi Flip Flops]

I wanted to make a confession that would have taken the things a bit too far.... imho... So i just couldnt do it. Im gonna do it eventually, i dont want to be a craven anymore.

 

Also the Harwood Bitcher was shyte, no one should miss him. I'm glad he's gone.

I'm going to admit that I liked the Harwood Bitcher, he was almost as fun as that Ghetto Jezus guy. But people like them always come and go, I'm sure we'll have somebody similar soon.