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The Pizza Delivery Guy

I Have a Confession to Make

Recommended Posts

Menstrual Deranged

I've always considered myself to be pretty psychologically "astute", both instinctively and educationally. I set the grading curve in most of my psych classes when I attended university. However, at the age of 41, I am just now coming to the realization that I grew up with a severely narcissistic father. I would say he is probably certifiably either bipolar or borderline personality with highly toxic narcissistic and paranoid traits to the point that he can not maintain a normal relationship with anyone. I've always known something was "wrong" with him, but could never get him to get help. Recently, I tried talking to my mother about how his issues impacted our lives (they've been divorced for 20+ years). I was left confused and hurt after our discussion with her though because halfway through it, she became a bit hostile and started to blatantly gaslight me and lash out. At first I figured she just felt guilty for staying married to him for so long despite everything he did but then something I came across in a research article made me realize something that disturbs me even more: she was co-dependent, a bit of an enabler, and narcissistic herself though in a more covert way. All the signs are there, including being fairly self-absorbed and lacking empathy (she will even admit that she lacks empathy).

 

Hit me like a ton of bricks when I realized it. Mentioned it to my husband and he was basically like, "Yeah, you never noticed that? I mean, she's nice enough on the surface but yeah, I guess you could say she's always been pretty narcissistic."

 

And I've always known that you often don't recognize things that are right under your nose but damn. I can't figure out if my mom was always this way or if life made her this way, or both.

 

TLDR: I'm a middle-aged woman just now discovering that she has daddy and mommy issues.

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Ned Bingham
On 12/16/2019 at 5:48 PM, Cameron Star said:

I'm terrible at keeping up with conversations or just what someone is saying and I often tend to lose the context halfway through. For example someone will say two sentences, I understand the first one, but the second gets me really confused and I don't know how it relates to the first sentence. I don't know if I'm stupid or if they really didn't make any sense. Sometimes I'll completely miss the point they are making.

 

Same with hearing conversations in a show or reading them on the internet.

The obvious question is whether this only happens with certain people or with everyone you converse with.  If it's the former then it's something about their way of speaking or communicating.  If it's the latter case then it's all down to you.  Is there such a thing as aural dyslexia?

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Cameron Star
13 hours ago, Ned Bingham said:

The obvious question is whether this only happens with certain people or with everyone you converse with.  If it's the former then it's something about their way of speaking or communicating.  If it's the latter case then it's all down to you.  Is there such a thing as aural dyslexia?

It's definitely me because I get it with everyone. It doesn't matter if it's spoken or written and I've not got dyslexia.

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Max.pain

 i don’t talk to people unless i’m asked something or lying to them about something.

 

and you know what? all this time i’ve been better not talking to them.

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Cameron Star

When I'm telling a lie I have a habit of looking to my left, so I'll make myself look to my right so the other person doesn't think I'm lying and so far it's worked.

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Ned Bingham
2 hours ago, Cameron Star said:

When I'm telling a lie I have a habit of looking to my left, so I'll make myself look to my right so the other person doesn't think I'm lying and so far it's worked.

Ah, so you must be female :p Or have you simply been reading all that "When people tell a lie they look this way or that" stuff and are having us on?

 

(Why female? Read Simone de Beauvoir's Second Sex, somewhere in the second section of the book)

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Cameron Star
2 hours ago, Ned Bingham said:

Ah, so you must be female :p Or have you simply been reading all that "When people tell a lie they look this way or that" stuff and are having us on?

 

(Why female? Read Simone de Beauvoir's Second Sex, somewhere in the second section of the book)

It's just one of those things that I've heard people say growing up and I think about it whenever I tell a lie. But I don't lie very often. Promise!

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Max.pain

lying is so satisfying. even if it’s something pretty little

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ThanosIsRight

Well, i could tell you...but then you have to ban me.

which will not be that effective since i probably celebrated my last year by this point, and it is gonna be time to move out probably within the year, which would mean i am not gonna stay stuck with my current pc and ip adress(and pretty bad internet)

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Cameron Star
2 hours ago, ThanosIsRight said:

Joined: 12/21/2019

giphy.gif

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The Pizza Delivery Guy

hey everyone, time for my yearly post.

 

I completely bullsh*tted my internship, fabricated everything. Still got the degree though 🤙

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Coleco

It's almost the twenties

 

I'm almost in my forties

 

Last time I looked it was 1997... what the hell happened

 

 

 

Seriously this scares the bejeezus out of me.... I'm still tryna plan how to start my adult life here can we stop it with the involuntary time travel guys please

 

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Self-Destructive Man

I don't think Seinfeld is funny. I've tried to watch a few times but I didn't really laughed.

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TheSantader25

I'm 25 so this is the first time I'm truly "feeling" the end of a decade and it's pretty deep tbh. F*cking 10 years passed by. Each year full of all kinds of crazy crap. Really makes you think about your life and the world in general. Also avoid watching decade moment compilations on youtube. They're beautiful but hit you hard in the end and make you question your own existence. 

Edited by TheSantader25

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trip

I've never seen an episode of Seinfeld.  It always makes it weird when people say that (now cliche) line "like that episode of Seinfeld..."

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Carbonox
29 minutes ago, trip said:

I've never seen an episode of Seinfeld.  It always makes it weird when people say that (now cliche) line "like that episode of Seinfeld..."

Happy Festivus!

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Standard Deluxe 59
33 minutes ago, Carbonox said:

Happy Festivus!

pole%20in%20the%20corner-small.jpg

 

When is it time for the "airing of grievances" and the "feats of strength"? 

 

 

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Mr. Galloway
4 hours ago, Self-Destructive Man said:

I don't think Seinfeld is funny. I've tried to watch a few times but I didn't really laughed.

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SeinfeldIsUnfunny

 

Not sure if I agree with the phenomenon (if you could call it that), but it does kind of make sense.

Edited by Mr. Galloway

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Max.pain

in one of my dreams i’ve been having sex with my sister, it felt good but i wanted to puke when i woke up

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paperbagdude
1 hour ago, Max.pain said:

in one of my dreams i’ve been having sex with my sister, it felt good but i wanted to puke when i woke up

Only a matter of time before acceptance kicks in ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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Max.pain

idk, not seeing it like “something impossible”. i know it’s something a lot of people do with their siblings but like you said, gotta get used to it.

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Benny Guy

Still fairly young and yet my knees are a crackin'. Physically, I look and feel so f*cking old compared to my actual age.

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Max.pain

i actually don’t care how i look like really, i’m a lifeless fool. 

 

About your problem, did you see a doctor for that? do you think that’s something a doctor won’t be able to help?

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Benny Guy
2 hours ago, Max.pain said:

About your problem, did you see a doctor for that? do you think that’s something a doctor won’t be able to help?

I work a very physical job, so that may contribute to an extent - although I've always naturally felt limited motion from time to time.

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TheSantader25
On 12/25/2019 at 6:44 AM, Benny Guy said:

Still fairly young and yet my knees are a crackin'. Physically, I look and feel so f*cking old compared to my actual age.

You're lucky. Chicks are into older looking dudes. 

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Zello
On 12/24/2019 at 4:30 PM, Max.pain said:

in one of my dreams i’ve been having sex with my sister, it felt good but i wanted to puke when i woke up

I had a dream I was banging my supervisor. It was kinda weird apparently it was bang my supervisor day. I didn't know it was then supposedly it was my turn and she was all up into me and I was like wtf then I was like oh now I understand what's going on I wake up. My supervisor isn't hot but she isn't ugly either she's just like ten  years older than me.

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paperbagdude

I have come to realize that I might have started to actually hate Christmas.

 

I don't hate my family, but when spending Christmas Eve with them, there is always someone every 10 minutes or so that breaks the vibes, whether it is to shout at the dogs for misbehaving or complain about something so minor - it f*cking breaks my mood and leaves me feeling stressed and awkward. Other than that, neither my family, friends or I are religious, so we don't celebrate Christmas to praise Jesus' birthday, but rather to spend time together as a family and keep the tradition going, which has no interest to me, when I can't barely enjoy the evening with them and feel exhausted all the time. Also decorating the f*cking tree and house a couple of days before Christmas, only to put it all down after NYE is a damn waste of time.

 

By all that, I have come to consider Christmas Eve simply as December 24th, because I am no longer really giving a sh*t about that date. I'd rather just stay for myself and go by my daily business without feeling bothered of being alone.

 

 

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Cameron Star
2 hours ago, paperbagdude said:

I have come to realize that I might have started to actually hate Christmas.

 

I don't hate my family, but when spending Christmas Eve with them, there is always someone every 10 minutes or so that breaks the vibes, whether it is to shout at the dogs for misbehaving or complain about something so minor - it f*cking breaks my mood and leaves me feeling stressed and awkward. Other than that, neither my family, friends or I are religious, so we don't celebrate Christmas to praise Jesus' birthday, but rather to spend time together as a family and keep the tradition going, which has no interest to me, when I can't barely enjoy the evening with them and feel exhausted all the time. Also decorating the f*cking tree and house a couple of days before Christmas, only to put it all down after NYE is a damn waste of time.

 

By all that, I have come to consider Christmas Eve simply as December 24th, because I am no longer really giving a sh*t about that date. I'd rather just stay for myself and go by my daily business without feeling bothered of being alone.

 

 

It's exactly the same in my family. Everybody's working so hard trying to make Christmas happen for the sake of it that it always ends in arguments and fall outs. I can't win either if I say I don't want to participate.

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Ned Bingham
On 12/23/2019 at 11:46 AM, Coleco said:

 Seriously this scares the bejeezus out of me.... I'm still tryna plan how to start my adult life here can we stop it with the involuntary time travel guys please

Can I just say that you've come to the right place.  Where else can someone in their late thirties get a better a better opportunity to advance their stuttering life than in with a bunch of teenagers pretending they are over 18, and other assorted weirdos - me especially.

 

Could I also add, irrelevant to this topic, that one of the actual Proclaimers ( If I could walk 500 miles...etc) is seated about fifty feet from me, big glasses and all.  Not sure which one it is, them being identical twins and all.  Possibly the one formerly married to the dwarf.

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Algonquin Assassin
3 hours ago, paperbagdude said:

I have come to realize that I might have started to actually hate Christmas.

 

I don't hate my family, but when spending Christmas Eve with them, there is always someone every 10 minutes or so that breaks the vibes, whether it is to shout at the dogs for misbehaving or complain about something so minor - it f*cking breaks my mood and leaves me feeling stressed and awkward. Other than that, neither my family, friends or I are religious, so we don't celebrate Christmas to praise Jesus' birthday, but rather to spend time together as a family and keep the tradition going, which has no interest to me, when I can't barely enjoy the evening with them and feel exhausted all the time. Also decorating the f*cking tree and house a couple of days before Christmas, only to put it all down after NYE is a damn waste of time.

 

By all that, I have come to consider Christmas Eve simply as December 24th, because I am no longer really giving a sh*t about that date. I'd rather just stay for myself and go by my daily business without feeling bothered of being alone.

 

 

I don't really hate Christmas, but I don't care about it anymore. Now it just feels like any other day. I guess it comes with growing up and being on the other side of it instead of being a kid getting presents and not caring how I got them.

 

Even the whole thing about spending time with my family has become a pain. It's sad how Christmas is used as an excuse to get everyone together when we could be seeing eachother anytime.

 

This year I literally didn't do anything. I just stayed home and watched Bad Santa like I do every year. 😛

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