I Have a Confession to Make

[Jerking For Soup]

Whenever I write a story, roleplay, do anything that requires the little bit of imagination I have left, I always think about the character's death first. I try not to fall into the trap of making the character invincible, because I've always thought that isn't entertaining in the slightest, and it's corny, and cheesy.

 

The weirdest thing is though, I always like to kill off my characters in such grizzly ways it makes me sound like a serial killer or something lol.

 

That's my weird confession, as if I wasn't creepy enough.

[Gnocchi Flip Flops]

They only call them "tote bags" in the south.

 

Yup, in Texas they say that a lot. Go to Whole Foods. "Want a tote bag?"

[The Dedito Gae]

I block most user's signatures, especially if they're gifs or show something inappropriate.

You f*cking prude:

 

 

 

Block that you biatch.

 

 

 

 

OT: I recently blocked someone, but unblocked him, guy is a f*cking moron all the time and a obnoxious douche who pulls sh*t of his ass, but some of his replies are worth a chuckle.

 

 

So, that makes 4 people i blocked in all my gtaf years.

 

(One is luckily banned, other still blocked and i plan to keep it that way and the rest were quickly unblocked.)

 

 

[trip]

I'm north of the Mason-Dixon line and we say tote bag.

[AlienTwo]

I'm north of the Mason-Dixon line and we say tote bag.

Yinzers are unique in their speech.

[Sombra]

i kinda really like that song bitch dab by migos

 

[paperbagdude]

Had my laptop on my bed whilst squatting infront of it. Then I farted.

 

Problem was it wasn't just a fart.

[Gnocchi Flip Flops]

Had my laptop on my bed whilst squatting infront of it. Then I farted.

Problem was it wasn't just a fart.

Did you have Taco Bell earlier?

[Flachbau]

lolwut? were you naked or some sh*t? why were you squatting over your laptop?

 

das not how beds work silly

Edited April 16, 2016 by Alchemist

[DarkSavageDeathlyCloud]

i arived so late at my work not because of traffic isues but because i was bussy shopping in the city of ghent....it was worth it

[paperbagdude]

 

Had my laptop on my bed whilst squatting infront of it. Then I farted.

Problem was it wasn't just a fart.

Did you have Taco Bell earlier?

 

Naah, can't remember what I ate at all in fact.

 

Maybe I've drank some spoiled water or maybe it's the massive quantities of alcohol the nights before.

 

But f*ck it was a pest. I literally had liquid sh*t running down my left leg and splats of sh*t on my carpet.

[Queen]

After reading that I'll think twice before visiting this topic again.

 

But on a related note, something similar happened to someone I know...right in front of dozens of people. Poor guy.

Edited April 17, 2016 by Queen

[Gnocchi Flip Flops]

I can't wrap my head around how that can happy to anyone. I mean, how does that happen? You can't feel it coming? Laxatives?

[Queen]

Well, in the case of the guy I know, he was on the job and couldn't leave his post. He felt ill...he even called someone to get him a replacement, but it was too late. Embarrassing as hell.

[paperbagdude]

I feel sorry for that guy.

 

In my case I didn't feel it coming. It just felt like one of those farts you had to put some strenght into. I like to fart, so I was willing to dedicate an extra amount of energy to execute this one specifically.

 

I only realized it was all wrong as the matter had already been pushed out of my contracted anus and I quickly noticed it was more than just gas. In a matter of 1 second I had the brown and stinky fluid running down my hairy leg and my underwear lost it's value completely.

 

What a sh*tty evening, huh?

[Queen]

I had the brown and stinky fluid running down my hairy leg and my underwear lost it's value completely.

 

Jesus f*ck.

[The Dedito Gae]

After reading that I'll think twice before visiting this topic again.

 

But on a related note, something similar happened to someone I know...right in front of dozens of people. Poor guy.

Imagine this happens to you, but instead of a laptop is you, and instead of squatting is sex, imagine getting sh*t on during sex, now that right there is f*cking awful on every way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah.

[Queen]

I actually know of someone who enjoys sh*tting during sex...or was it getting sh*t on? I forget which.

[Dr Labuschagne]

Something always tells me that if your live anywhere but Africa your very, very wealthy. Especially a super powers

 

 

Consider yourselves highly fortunate...

[paperbagdude]

 

I had the brown and stinky fluid running down my hairy leg and my underwear lost it's value completely.

 

Jesus f*ck.

 

Yup. I walked into the bathroom, carefully to avoid shaking off the feces. I took my shorts off and examinated them for sh*t stains. Then I cautiously took of my underwear and saw this pool of sh*t that had coalesced. I just threw them out of the window and they have been laying around ever since. Hopefully the rain can clean them off a bit.

[Queen]

Do you think you could send us pics of the underwear? That'd give us a much better idea of what happened.

Edited April 17, 2016 by Queen

[Queen]

What? Why?

[Queen]

Nah, it's fine as it is. What's a good confession if it doesn't have some dirt anyway?

[paperbagdude]

Do you think you could send us pics of the underwear? That'd give us a much better idea of what happened.

Not really, I am honestly too lazy with the entire process of taking the photo, uploading and what ever comes next.

 

However; imagine the lower buttocks part of a pair of boxer briefs being completely covered in a thick layer of Nutella.

[Queen]

Very disappointing. I hope you find some motivation.

[paperbagdude]

I also confess I believe I'm an alcoholic, although I always deny it when being told.

[Queen]

Oh now I know you're lying.

[paperbagdude]

I am kinda serious. Although I don't slurp two bottles of booze a week, the units of alcohol per week I consume still adds up to something rather concerning.

 

Sure, I feel like I can quit drinking anytime, yet sometimes I have this sick need for something alcoholic in order to subdue myself. Like I really need some or else I'll feel down.

[Static]

Anyone who humble-brags about being anything negative, usually aren't whatever it is they're claiming to be, imo.

[AlienTwo]

Can we get two confession threads?

Only two?