asitsaysinthebook Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 ban guns make gay marriage legal make pot legal and tax it open mental healthcare offices around the nation Give everyone the right to free healthcare close gitmo Start investigations into many large banks and businesses and take them to court. make laws regarding the nutritional facts of foods. buy Mexico ( i'm mean they all want to live here anyway right? ) lol fund high speed railways all across the nation fund a plan to create fiber optic networks throughout the nation fund a plan to fix and improve bridges, roads, and other transportation related things throughout the nation Got my vote. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calvin Backer Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 (edited) I would hire 2000 raggedy ass painters and paint the mother f*cking white house black! How do i stand on marijuana? Very high, baby! Very high! How do i stand on prostitution? I dont stand on it. I lay on it. Edited June 5, 2013 by Calvin Backer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracksuit Hitman Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Find out the truth about Area 51 and get some very decent non-diseased girls for a day. After the hangover fades, I'd resign. aka geobst Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyler Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 I'd probably conquer Gaul with a loyal army and then march into the capital and establish that in these times of American hardship we need a centralized power with less checks and balances- and that power would be me. Of course anyone who disagreed with me would be swiftly killed, and then all that would be left is for me to bear the crown of an empire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fnorg Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 I'd probably conquer Gaul with a loyal army and then march into the capital and establish that in these times of American hardship we need a centralized power with less checks and balances- and that power would be me. Of course anyone who disagreed with me would be swiftly killed, and then all that would be left is for me to bear the crown of an empire. And then get shivved, bitch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyler Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 I'd probably conquer Gaul with a loyal army and then march into the capital and establish that in these times of American hardship we need a centralized power with less checks and balances- and that power would be me. Of course anyone who disagreed with me would be swiftly killed, and then all that would be left is for me to bear the crown of an empire. And then get shivved, bitch. At least my protege would be a great leader and establish decades of prosperity though, eh? eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fnorg Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 I'd probably conquer Gaul with a loyal army and then march into the capital and establish that in these times of American hardship we need a centralized power with less checks and balances- and that power would be me. Of course anyone who disagreed with me would be swiftly killed, and then all that would be left is for me to bear the crown of an empire. And then get shivved, bitch. At least my protege would be a great leader and establish decades of prosperity though, eh? eh? Or he'd be the one plunging the final dagger blow into your firm, supple body. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Scottish Guy Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 (edited) I'd have Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden, Ed Balls, Harriet Harman, George Galloway, and a few others, rounded up, kidnapped, and dumped in the middle of the Pacific with only a single rubber dingy to squabble over. There, already a few of the UK's/US's problems solved. Then I'd collect my Nobel Prize medal, and stuff it down Obama's throat so he'd have a little taste of an actual deserving award. Oh, and also to plug all the sh*te that travels through said throat. Edited June 5, 2013 by The Scottish Guy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonshield Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Declare war on Congress and take no prisoners. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WildBrick142 Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 I would get access to a sniper and wipe out every gay person on the earth. So you'd commit suicide then? I would: •Ban guns •Make pot legal •Make gay marriage legal •Ban all SWAG, YOLO and all the other sh*t •Make internet censorship acts illegal •Fly to Russia for holidays •Fly to Area 51 and find out secrets •Buy a NASA spaceship •Share all clasified and top secret with the world •Resign as president •Escape in spaceship before i'll go to jail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calvin Backer Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Why does everyone want to ban guns? That would only keep them out of the hands of law abiding citizens not criminals. The only reason why the US hasnt been invaded is because theres a rifle behind every blade of grass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kwabs Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 I'd probably venture into the toilets in White house and see how it feels like to take a sh*t there. Rumour has it that Obama uses a special kind of attached vaccum pump like thing that siphons out all the doo-doo from your ass I'd love to have that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudy Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Why does everyone want to ban guns? That would only keep them out of the hands of law abiding citizens not criminals. The only reason why the US hasnt been invaded is because theres a rifle behind every blade of grass. Probably because they're down in dumps over the fact that majority of the said guns these days are incapable of performing ass tease. I bet almost every single hoplophobes out there bought guns cause they were hopeful that they might be able to get an orgasm by sticking teh guns in their asshole. Prior to buying guns they started by trying with carrots but once they shoved one into their ass, they realised that it got STUCK in their butt, and then they had to take a massive sh*t to get the carrot out. Carrot =/= sex toy. And then, they tried ass teasing with dildos but then they realised how girlyy it is to try with a dildo. dildo =/= sex toy for MEN. Finally, they tried with guns. But then they realised that there are quite a few chances that they can get their bum shot if they attempt ass teasing with guns.. sigh. So yeah, Guns =/= sex toy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fnorg Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 The only reason why the US hasnt been invaded is because theres a rifle behind every blade of grass. Or because it's surrounded by two oceans and countries with no guns. Pretty sure a .22 in the arms of an untrained fatass won't scare of the Soviets if they decide to attack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calvin Backer Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Why does everyone want to ban guns? That would only keep them out of the hands of law abiding citizens not criminals. The only reason why the US hasnt been invaded is because theres a rifle behind every blade of grass. Probably because they're down in dumps over the fact that majority of the said guns these days are incapable of performing ass tease. I bet almost every single hoplophobes out there bought guns cause they were hopeful that they might be able to get an orgasm by sticking teh guns in their asshole. Prior to buying guns they started by trying with carrots but once they shoved one into their ass, they realised that it got STUCK in their butt, and then they had to take a massive sh*t to get the carrot out. Carrot =/= sex toy. And then, they tried ass teasing with dildos but then they realised how girlyy it is to try with a dildo. dildo =/= sex toy for MEN. Finally, they tried with guns. But then they realised that there are quite a few chances that they can get their bum shot if they attempt ass teasing with guns.. sigh. So yeah, Guns =/= sex toy. Oooh alright. I get it now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calvin Backer Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 The only reason why the US hasnt been invaded is because theres a rifle behind every blade of grass. Or because it's surrounded by two oceans and countries with no guns. Pretty sure a .22 in the arms of an untrained fatass won't scare of the Soviets if they decide to attack. What about 300 million untrained fatasses? Theres more guns than people in the US so if sh*t hits the fan everybody is strapped Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedDagger Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 (edited) What about 300 million untrained fatasses? Theres more guns than people in the US so if sh*t hits the fan everybody is strapped Note the untrained. So many civilian casualties If you were president for a day, I can hardly imagine you'd be able to get anything - even minor - done, as they have to go through processes and the like. If I weren't being a party pooper and you could, I would make America part of the commonwealth, let Britain take money, then tell it to eff off. That'd be interesting - America is now poorer and Britain has its money, but legally. Wanna start a war to try to get it back? Oh wait... Edited June 5, 2013 by RedDaggerXL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy_Leppard Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Bang Michelle Obama, then use Airforce 1 to fly me somewhere nice and sunny. You are my idol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gtamann123 Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Why does everyone want to ban guns? That would only keep them out of the hands of law abiding citizens not criminals. The only reason why the US hasnt been invaded is because theres a rifle behind every blade of grass. Because people are idiots and don't realize that banning guns wouldn't do anything positive at all and would only have negative possible effects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
018361 Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Lets not turn this into a political debate please. The whole guns thing has been argued about thousands of times before and nothing changed so I doubt arguing about it on a forum will change anything either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gtamann123 Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Lets not turn this into a political debate please. The whole guns thing has been argued about thousands of times before and nothing changed so I doubt arguing about it on a forum will change anything either. True. True I will back off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Triple Vacuum Seal Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Legalize marijuana and prostitution. "shut up, sit down, relax" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chunkyman Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 I would grant complete and total amnesty for people who are in prison for victimless crimes (violation of drug laws, gun laws, other government regulations, etc). I would work on destroying as many governmental regulatory agencies and departments as possible, starting with my least favorite: ATF Homeland Security TSA Dept. of Education FCC FDA NLRB EPA Christ, too many to list. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTA_stu Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Dept. of Education Would that mean getting rid of schools and such? If so, you're a little too radical for me. I'd be that guy in your team that's secretly working for someone else after I grow disenfranchised with your policies, then the most foreign looking guy gets blamed for all the leaks, whilst I get away Scott free. Then eventually I get too cocky and you discover that it was in fact me, I give a dramatic monologue before leading you off on a chase when you capture me and I give an even more dramatic monologue. You ask me who I'm working for, but... cughhh... cugghh I'm about to tell you... cugghh... oh too late I'm dead. I'd be that guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Triple Vacuum Seal Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 (edited) Dept. of Education Would that mean getting rid of schools and such? If so, you're a little too radical for me. Not really. The federal funding of the education here is a joke anyway. The states almost completely pay for the education. So why have a federal department that doesn't even help you implement regulations tell you what to do? Especially when the locals know what needs to be done with their own education better than some wealthy politician thousands of miles away in Washington. More often than not, the federal department of education just interferes with the state departments that actually foot the bill. Besides, our education system is a joke. With a population in immense debt, basic business, economics, accounting, and finance skills (skills that every American must have regardless of occupation) generally aren't even taught until college while advanced mathematics and physical sciences are shoved down our throats (as it should be but to a lesser extent because this knowledge isn't required for all fields) in grade school. No disrespect to Arnie Duncan though. I like that guy. Edited June 5, 2013 by canttakemyid "shut up, sit down, relax" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain VXR Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 End the war on drugs, and allow the sale/home production of most drugs, whilst decriminalising the possession of the worst ones. Pint of rough scrumpy cider in one hand, blunt in the other, address the world on live TV with the pronouncement that David Cameron is a c*nt. Merge the USA, Mexico and Canada. Create free movement and trade agreements between the USA (inc Canada and Mexico), and the EU/EEA. Instill Snoop Dogg as president, and Howard Marks as vice president, starting from the following day. Make all US overseas territories plus DC US states. Create a USA/EU/EEA super-military. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3Hunt. Posted June 6, 2013 Share Posted June 6, 2013 President of what? America? Then I'll suck at being president because I want sh*t that'll make ME happy and sh*t. UK? I'll be a prime minister, so I'll bang the Queen until her crumpet beads down my teabags. Some Bomb-y place? I want something to be stuck up my ass. Some Latin American country? I'll eat a banana while having my drug mule wife, Bella, reenact skits from Sabado Gigante. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGodDamnMaster Posted June 6, 2013 Share Posted June 6, 2013 -Use an executive order with a loophole that allows me to permanently retain my newly-acquired powers. -Spend a good chunk of the day researching the current congresspeople. Then I'd have the blatantly-corrupt ones hung upside-down on the lampposts of DC and let the people have fun with them. -Disassemble the TSA, Department of Education, Homeland Security and FCC. -Immediately recall all troops from Afghanistan. -Sell off the all of the possessions of the corrupt congresspeople. The money would then be sent back to the taxpayers of the state which each of those politicians came from. -Abolish the income tax. -Legalize all drugs and tax them to hell. -No more foreign aid. -Ramp-up border patrol with National Guard support. -Children of illegal immigrants gain citizenship through a single term of military service. -Illegal immigrants themselves are deported back to their country of origin and are sent to the bottom of the waiting list to get back in. -Heavily-revamp the lobbying system to keep special interest groups at bay. Intel Core i9-9900k | Seasonic FOCUS Plus 750W | 32GB Corsair Vengeance LPX 2666MHzMSI GeForce RTX2070 | WD Blue 1TB HDD | Samsung 950 PRO M.2 512GBAntec Nine Hundred Black Steel ATX Mid Tower | MSI MPG Z390 Gaming Pro Carbon AC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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