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E-mail from The Epsilon Program (contest entry)


UberVIIX
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user posted image

user posted image

Dear friend,

 

You've just made the best decision of your entire life. In fact, you've made the best decision anyone has made for a trillion years or more. If you were to live for another billion years, you would not make a better decision. In fact, you will now live for a billion years. You've become an Epsilonist. Kifflom! It's officially America's fastest growing religion and you've just proven what an independent thinker you are, by jumping on board. Prepare to be in 37,000 (yes, 37,000!) places all at once. Prepare to be amazed. This is the best thing you've ever done. You've joined an organization so powerful the government just tried to ban us. Of course, they failed. Nothing will stop us, in this Paradigm or the next. Welcome, brother-brother or sister-sister (delete as appropriate - but this is not a form letter - we're testing you - knowledge IS power, so we hope you know if you're a brother-brother or a sister-sister, because knowledge, just like charity, starts at home!)

 

A very small number of of our recent recruits, (based on Cris' unique intuition), will be invited to join a special scholarship program of advanced Epsilonism in Los Santos - should you be one of them, Cris or another senior Epsilonist will contact you personally in a month or so. Either by telepathy or email or probably both!

 

You have much to be excited about your new life. The most exciting thing of all is that you are about to get literally hundreds of opportunities to invest in your future by studying one of our reasonably priced courses in personal learning and salvation.

 

Most top celebrities and intellectuals have joined us on this journey. Now you have too. Soon, you may be one of them.

 

Kifflom one and all,

 

Your new best friend,

user posted image

Cris Formage

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Cutter De Blanc

Cris Formage is super creepy! icon14.gif

 

I hope we have to fight them. Maybe a heist at the Epsilon center. panic.gif

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Cris Formage is super creepy! icon14.gif

 

I hope we have to fight them. Maybe a heist at the Epsilon center. panic.gif

I'm guessing he may be paying us top dollar to take care of some problems the Epsilon Program are most likely having...

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got mine too! icon14.gif

We will be contacted in "a month or so"... sigh.gif

You sent a mail to yourself? confused.gif

 

 

 

 

 

JK tounge.gif

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