Finn 7 five 11 Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 I only fap when I'm sure no ones coming home. If someone is home, I go to the bathroom, turn on the light (which also turns on the fan), and fap to something in my mind. I hope you know that the fan will cover your noise while you're in there, but anyone outside can't really hear the fan, they're just going to hear you fapping. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acehilm Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 What the f*ck has this place turned into? Wankers anonymous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mista J Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 I've come pretty close once. I was laying on the couch having a fap and I look up and my grandma is standing there. I quickly concealed my weapon under the blanket. She didn't mention it but I'm pretty sure she saw and just didn't want to talk about it.. Goddamn. Why would you have a wank on the couch of all places? And when your grandma is in the house and could walk in at any minute. You shouldn't be doing it on the couch under any circumstances, let alone when somebody is in the house, and especially not if it's your f*cking grandma. Control yourselves you filthy little perverts. Especially when it's one of your grandparents, they're like ninjas!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGodDamnMaster Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Once, by my dad. It was still when I was early-on in puberty and was addicted to it. I had the bedroom door open and he saw me. He pulled me aside later and gave me "the speech" about how it's natural. Intel Core i9-9900k | Seasonic FOCUS Plus 750W | 32GB Corsair Vengeance LPX 2666MHzMSI GeForce RTX2070 | WD Blue 1TB HDD | Samsung 950 PRO M.2 512GBAntec Nine Hundred Black Steel ATX Mid Tower | MSI MPG Z390 Gaming Pro Carbon AC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
na89340qv0n34b09q340 Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 OP, why couldn't you just close your door, or get a lock? Are you that much of an idiot? But just leave the situation alone. A few years ago I was caught in post-fap sleep with a cum stain all over my bed, and my pants and underwear around my ankles by my dad once. It was awkward for a few hours, but nobody talked about it and everything was normal the next day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 I've come pretty close once. I was laying on the couch having a fap and I look up and my grandma is standing there. I quickly concealed my weapon under the blanket. She didn't mention it but I'm pretty sure she saw and just didn't want to talk about it.. Goddamn. Why would you have a wank on the couch of all places? And when your grandma is in the house and could walk in at any minute. You shouldn't be doing it on the couch under any circumstances, let alone when somebody is in the house, and especially not if it's your f*cking grandma. Control yourselves you filthy little perverts. The couch was in my room. On top of that, my room used to be a living room(so it's about 3 times the size of the other rooms), and it's in an L shape. I had the door closed and a curtain covering the far end of the room with the couch and me on it. She came out of nowhere, no pun intended. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeeDeeWGFA Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 My flatmates know that if AC/DC is playing loudly then to stay as far away from my room as possible, our walls are very thin so need something to drown out the sounds of whips and grunts. A friend walked in on me and my girl having sex in a bath. It was my ex's bath and she was downstairs at the time with no clue to what was going on upstairs. I'm very good at making things awkward for myself :s Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walkingsickness Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 So I think I was just caught masturbating. There's this girl I've been speaking to online, and she's really attractive. Didn't get past that line....instantly thought of Manti Te'o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 This one time I thought I was home a lone, masturbating furiously naked in my room. When I cummed, I walked out into the hallway naked with my massive cock, and as I walk out of my room, my mum walks out of her room, looks at me for a second, then walks into the living room. It was very awkward and I avoided her for the next week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rewas Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Well, this is an awkward topic. Is it really that hard to lock the door or wait until you're alone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doublepulse Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 You really need to learn about timing your jack off moments... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JOSEPH X Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Sticky? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hip Hop Posted May 24, 2013 Author Share Posted May 24, 2013 To clarify a few things: My door doesn't have a lock I had to go to work in thirty minutes, I had to make-do with the dwindling amount of time I had Got back from work this morning, everything's back to normal Another thing you guys probably don't want to know, I eat my own cum. No, I'm not trolling, I'm deadly serious. It's far easier than wiping it up with a tissue. So I spooge on my desk, then lick it up. Either that or I cum on the carpet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UtricularEwe001 Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Epic thread is Epic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corndawg93 Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Another thing you guys probably don't want to know, I eat my own cum. No, I'm not trolling, I'm deadly serious. It's far easier than wiping it up with a tissue. So I spooge on my desk, then lick it up. Either that or I cum on the carpet. You have some serious f*cking problems dude Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudy Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 To clarify a few things:My door doesn't have a lock I had to go to work in thirty minutes, I had to make-do with the dwindling amount of time I had Got back from work this morning, everything's back to normal Another thing you guys probably don't want to know, I eat my own cum. No, I'm not trolling, I'm deadly serious. It's far easier than wiping it up with a tissue. So I spooge on my desk, then lick it up. Either that or I cum on the carpet. Do you even eat your own sh*t or use it as a hair gel and later on claim "hey its mine"? So by your standards I think its okay if I drink down my piss like a bottle of gatorade. You should get beaten over your head like a piniata(sp) at a mexicans birthday party. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hip Hop Posted May 24, 2013 Author Share Posted May 24, 2013 No, it's only limited to cum. It's actually quite healthy for you, contains vitamins and whatnot. I have taken a shot of my own piss before, though. It tasted rank, obviously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corndawg93 Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 No, it's only limited to cum. It's actually quite healthy for you, contains vitamins and whatnot. I have taken a shot of my own piss before, though. It tasted rank, obviously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prometheus Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 No, it's only limited to cum. It's actually quite healthy for you, contains vitamins and whatnot. I have taken a shot of my own piss before, though. It tasted rank, obviously. Nice, sounds like you've experienced a lot in this field before. Ever tried Big Johnson's Hot Sauce? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hip Hop Posted May 24, 2013 Author Share Posted May 24, 2013 Funnily enough, I spent £50 on chilli sauce the other day. I love anything spicy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MIGta Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Try eating lots of pineapples. It makes your cum taste nice. So I'm told.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ciaran Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Lol! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NikoGTA4 Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 I smell troll. Otherwise you got some serious problems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hip Hop Posted May 24, 2013 Author Share Posted May 24, 2013 No I'm just comfortable with myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clem Fandango Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 No I'm just comfortable with myself. The whole cumming on the desk then gobbling it up like sherbert is a bit worrying though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nealmac Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Great thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudy Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 No I'm just comfortable with myself. Have you ever considered eating your cum for breakfast just because what your mom cooked tasted like a DOG sh*t? Do you and your mates play games that involves wanking? I mean like whoever ejaculates first will be crowned as the winner, and whoever finishes last should eat the semen of the other particpants you know. I think, I heard it somewhere that people who eat their own cum does all this sh*t. So yeah, I'm just curious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hip Hop Posted May 24, 2013 Author Share Posted May 24, 2013 I've jacked off with friends before. I've had three male friends of mine suck me off. Funnily enough, the 'straight' guy out of the three, was the best at it, whereas the other two guys are openly gay. I don't like breakfast, but if I decide to had a wank in the morning and some lands on me, I will indeed eat it. As for the cum eating game with friends? No thanks. I'd only eat my own. @Melchior, why is it worrying? The cum tastes absolutely fine, it doesn't make me gag, it doesn't particularly smell of anything. Just wank > cum > dispose via oral canal > done deal. I highly recommend you guys try it out. I've been doing it for years. I'm still an upstanding member of society. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danz. Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Don't worry OP, it's not the end of the world. Remember that it could be worse if you were caught doing anal masturbation. Then you'd be literally f*cked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piggsy pls Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Try jerking off under the blankets at night, when people think you're asleep. Also, if your room doesn't have a lock, then jerk off in the bathroom during the daytime. Pretend you're taking a sh*t. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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